Consultation 90.

“God, how do I get better grades so I can go to the same school as my boyfriend?”

“Easy, just cheat.”

With her left eye squinted half-closed and a somewhat forced smile, visibly uncomfortable with my suggestion, she skeptically responded, “C-Cheat? I was looking for suggestions on how to more efficiently study. I could never cheat.”

“Hah? Only idiots do things the hard way. Look, the majority of what you learn in school is going to be pretty much useless in the real world after you graduate. In fact, when you get a job, you’ll very likely find that they will make you forget about the vast majority of what you were taught in school anyway. They will train you to suit the position and require that you essentially relearn everything you thought you knew as being correct. A lot of what you’ll actually do when you join the workforce are things contrary to what you were taught.”

“To even land a decent job these days, do you honestly believe you’re going to get it by not cheating and being stupidly honest? Hell no, if you want to get anywhere in the world you’ve got to be resourceful and know how to cheat the system by bending the rules in your favor. Embellishing or over exaggerating experience and things you’ve done on your resume is the only way to really get anywhere. Only by doing so will you land an interview.”

“But we’re always told cheating is bad.”

“They tell you not to cheat, however, what they don’t tell you is that there’s nothing wrong with cheating… so long as you don’t get caught in the act of course. If you do get caught, then you just weren’t a good enough cheater or liar. It’s that simple. The most successful and powerful in the world are the greatest liars and cheaters, not the forthright ones making an honest living.”

“Then… how do you suggest I… cheat?”

“It’s not very difficult. If you get stuck with any female teachers, then you’ll need to put in a bit more effort to cheat than if you get male teachers. If it is in a class that requires any math, you can get a programmable graphing calculator and effectively cheat in plain sight. You can program a function on it and leave important notes instead of a real executable function that actually does something.”

“Even if it isn’t a class that requires calculations, it is still possible to pull this off. Just wear a baggy long sleeve sweater and slip the graphing calculator into your sleeve. You can easily sneak peeks at the notes on the calculator by discreetly sliding it out of your sleeve and hiding it with the palm of your hand. You can position your hands in a way that looks like you’re thinking about how to answer the questions.”

“I see. That does sound easy enough. But why did you say it takes more effort to cheat when it’s a female teacher?”

“Well, that’s pretty obvious. The easiest method to cheat the education system would be by specifically aiming to take courses that are taught by male teachers. Courses with male teachers will require the least amount of work to get good grades. All you need to do is seduce and have sex with them, record it in secret, then use the footage claiming rape to blackmail them, thus forcing them to give you good grades.”

“S--S-S-S-Sex! Are you crazy, God! There’s no way I can do something like that! How can you suggest such a vile method?”

“Vile? Haaaah. You’re too innocent kid.”

“Sexual favors, bribery, and blackmail is common practice in the real world. If you don’t do it, it’ll just be done to you. It’s best to get used to it early on or you’ll be in for a rude awakening when you enter the ugly world of adults. If you want to go to the same school as your boyfriend you should just suck it up and do what you’ve got to do. Highschool love is fleeting, weak, shallow, and very often short-lived. It is a fragile thing where 99% of the time it fails after graduation. If you don’t end up in a post-secondary education together, what do you think will happen? 

“He will remain faithful to me and love me even if we aren’t in the same school. I believe in him. Just because 99% fails doesn’t mean they all do. There is still that 1% that succeeds. We’ll be part of that 1%.”

I looked at her with eyes filled with pity, “Heh. Sorry to tell you this, but... I can say with 100% certainty that he will meet other women that will try to get him to cheat on you. If you don’t cheat now to get what you want, you will be cheated on later, by him no less. He would cheat simply for convenience. He’d have a girl right by his side who he can immediately satisfy him, while you’ll be far away completely oblivious to a thing. You will talk less and less until communication cuts off altogether.”

“I am a God, do you dare take a gamble with a God who can see what lies at the end of all your paths forward? Choose now. Cheat or be cheated.”

“I would rather be… cheated... than cheat.”

“Oh? And what if I told you that you being cheated leads to your own pitiful death?”

“W-What? My… own death? What do you mean by that?”

“Haha. Nothing much. Forget I said anything. If you want to be cheated and die a dog’s death, go right ahead. However, if you choose to cheat, there at least exists a path where you live happily ever after together with that boyfriend of yours.”

“If I cheat… I can really find happiness together with him?”

With a wide devilish smile, I responded, “Of course you can. Throw away those useless things like guilt and morals. They are unnecessary to survive in this cruel world where cheaters and liars reign supreme. Morals and lofty ideals only exist to control suckers who fell for the trap the cheaters and liars set in place. Their bullshit is shoved down your throat from a young age so they can forever remain at the top of the pyramid they built up on the backs of the countless gullible suckers beneath them. The only way to climb that pyramid is to join them in their underhanded tactics. Climb that pyramid one lie at a time. Though tread cautiously on the path forward, it only takes one misstep to bring about your own demise.”

“Remember this well, child, life is all about taking on risks. If you’re too afraid to take a single risk, you will never amount to anything or get anywhere. If you’re frozen in place by your fear of the risks you must take, you will be unable to take a single step forward when push comes to shove and the situation calls for decisive action. Do you understand?”

“I… understand, God.”

“I will... take the risk. Even if it means I have to drag myself through a daunting quagmire and dirty myself.”

“Good, if you understand, then please be on your way now.”

“Thank you for your guidance, God.”

People say to cheat is to cheat yourself. But that is nothing more than idealistic bullshit. Everyone cheats at something in some shape or form at some point in their life to get to where they are. To take anything for yourself is to take it away from another. In a sense, you have cheated another person out of that something that you have claimed as your belonging. 

The people who say you’re only cheating yourself when you cheat are the very same people who took hold of opportunities that could have gone to others to reach where they are today. Suddenly, they want to tell you not to cheat when they themselves cheated to work their way up. It is but nonsensical hypocrisy spouted by those better off than others who are now afraid of having what they cheated others out of taken back by using the very same tactics they utilized in the first place.

The world was never designed to be fair. It was designed to be one of intense conflict and competition. The very act of survival and improving your life requires you to cheat others out of their chance to survive and better their own life.