Consultation 118.

"God, how do I make it so my panties don’t get wet every time I pee?"

What kind of stupid question was this supposed to be? I shouldn’t overthink it, the answer is pretty simple, right?

“Why not just take off your panties before you pee?” 

“Well, I could try that… but…”

“But what?”

“It’d probably be easier to just show you.”

She stood up, removed her panties pulling one leg out at a time then dropped it on my desk.

“Why are you putting your panties on my desk exactly?”

“Just watch.”

“What? Wait, whuaaaaaaat! How? What sort of voodoo magic is- Wait, did you just?”

I rolled my chair back and took a look at the ground to confirm my suspicions. The ground was wet. I looked back up at the previously dry panties on my desk and confirmed again that they were really soaked and I wasn’t just seeing shit.

“You got me. What kind of party trick is this?”

“It’s not a party trick, God. No matter what I do, my panties always get wet when I pee. Whether I have them on or I remove them. Always, this always happens for some reason.”

“Are you cursed?” Did we fuck up again? But how? Just what the hell is going on lately? This is the second one after such a short amount of time.

“Cursed? This is happening because I’m cursed, God?”

I don’t fucking know. Why would such an idiotic curse even exist? Who comes up with this shit? I’d like to file a formal complaint against the idiot dicking around and making my job harder than it needs to be.

“Well… probably. Unless this is some sort of magic trick involving sleight of hand and you just came to fuck with me.”

“I’m not fucking with you, this is a big problem for me. Do you have any idea how inconvenient it is whenever I need to use the washroom in public? I have to carry around a pair of new panties I’ve never worn before everywhere I go.”

“So… what you’re saying is this only happens after you wear them?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you taking a piss doesn’t make the panties of other women around you wet?”

“No. If I wear their panties and return them, it does though.”

“What if you just touch the panties with your hand? Does it still happen?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Does this happen with any other clothing that comes into contact with your ass?”

“No, I only have this problem with underwear that I put on in general. It also happens with men’s underwear.”

“I see… so the key is panties on ass…” a line I never thought I’d ever say.

“Yeah…”

The solution to lifting the last curse seemed to be a kiss or some bullshit like that. Was the world trying to force me to quite literally kiss someone’s ass?

Like hell I’m going to do that!

There’s a much easier solution this time.

“If the problem lies with panties on your ass, why not just take the panties on your ass out of the equation?”

“Take it out of the equation? What do you mean?”

“Isn’t the answer to that pretty obvious?”

“No, what is it?”

“Simple, just wear a skirt and don’t wear panties to begin with. Go commando and you’ll never have a problem with soaked panties ever again. Don’t you think it seems pretty obvious that you were born to go commando if you have this sort of problem?”

“Ah. Going... commando? Genius! Why didn’t I think of that sooner!”

Wait, seriously? You’re not going to complain at all about this strange disability of yours and you’re really just going to accept it as it is?

“How have I not seen the light until now? The answer was right in front of me. It was a sign all along. A sign showing me my true calling in life. I was born free and I should not allow myself to be oppressed by these panties. The Gods said ‘let there be no more panties,’ but I was too blind narrow-minded to comprehend their profound words as I was pressured by societal norms. My eyes are at long last open, God. This freedom, this liberation born from casting aside one’s restrictive panties, I will always remember it and will spread the great gospel of pantiless you have bestowed upon me. I must make haste to spread God’s teachings to the world. Women should not allow their panties to dictate when they can or cannot pee. I understand, God. Pantiless is the one true path. Those naysayers are the heretics going against the world’s natural order.”

Hah… right? If thinking that makes you happy and gets you out of here sooner, then sure, why not? I really don’t think it’s anything that deep though. You’re just some freaky random cursed panties chick as far as I’m concerned. But if you want to spread the word of pantiless, feel free to, you weirdo.

And thus, as the consultation with this strange client ended, the ancient origin story behind the founding of the Church of Nopantsu simultaneously came to a close.

Another cult with strange fetishes was similarly born on this day.

Passages of God’s sacred words were passed down for countless generations to come.