46. Stink
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As we had no shovels, it took a while to clear away the mould. Only after a quarter of an hour had we a passable entrance into what we presumed to be Troglodyte territory. Beldrak obviously sent through his spider much sooner, so we already had a picture what awaited us. A picture, however, does not prepare one for the smell.

We were in a giant filthy cavern, littered with rotting corpses of fish, small animals, a few orks, and humans even. A spry stream rushed through the grim landscape. It was a happy little current that sprinkled and chattered at us as if it wanted to cheer up the rare visitors in the face of this ghastly panoply of cadavers. Naturally, all such efforts would have been wasted.

“Is this how a troglodyte larder looks like?” I could barely restrain my retching.

“It would seem so.” Beldrak was pale and seemed sick too.

“Leaving the troglodytes in our back seems a much better idea now,” whined Jim. “If they really want to live in a place like this, let them live! Arnold can simply wall in the entrance, and we will have nothing to do with the foul beasts again.”

“And what if they have a Durgeddin-made weapon?” I asked unhappily. “I like money too much to take that risk.”

“Yes, and there are also bound to be other connections to the rest of the caverns,” sighed Jim. “But damn, I wish now I wasn’t so eager to come here first. This smell is terrible!”

Surprisingly, it was me who noticed the enemy first. As we stumbled along the stream, I saw the light of my candle glinting on scales, and then on an eye. The troglodytes saw us too, I was sure, but they didn’t know yet, that I saw them.

“Two beasts at the northern wall,” I mumbled to Beldrak. His eyes focused for a moment, then he nodded, and looked away. Jim growled something to show that he heard it too.

Then we exploded towards our enemies. Jim put a bonfire under one of the beasts, I hurled a javelin at the other, and Beldrak threw flames as usual. We took the troglodytes by surprise, one succumbed to fire and spear before it could do anything. The second one still lived and closed the distance between us, but Jim and I cut it down without a problem.

However, the noise was enough to rouse the whole damn troglodyte tribe against us. Before we could decide what to do next, six of the strange critters streamed out of a corridor opening on the Western wall of the cavern. Their teeth and talons glinted in the light of Jim’s bonfire, and their disgusting smell covered the distance before they did.

It was too much for me. I reeled back, and emptied my stomach onto the ground, while Beldrak cast one of his bigger spells, and Jim desperately tried to keep at least four troglodytes at bay at once. Then Beldrak finished his chanting. The flames streaming out of his hand left five charred corpses on the ground. The last surviving warrior, undaunted by its comrades’ demise got through Jim’s armour at last, but the tiefling summoned the black flames he kept for those who wounded him, and suddenly we were the only ones standing on the battlefield.

That is, Jim and Beldrak were standing while I was on my knees, still retching uncontrollably.

“Come on, lad,” said the wizard cheerfully. “It’s not that bad. Stand up, this is not the end yet. There are more of the wee critters.”

I slowly stood up, leaning heavily on one of my javelins, and wiped the vomit from my face.

“Let’s kill them and get out of here then,” I said with a shaky smile, then, as I caught a whiff, doubled up again. If it’s possible, the troglodytes smelled even worse when burnt.

“There, there.” Jim patted on my back. “You want some rum?”

“By Jove, no,” I wheezed. I couldn’t puke anymore, but only because I had nothing left to cough up. “Damn, how can you bear this stink so well?”

“We were already acclimatized by your tales about rotten fish,” answered Beldrak with a hint of a smile. Then he snapped. “Now get yourself together and let us go. If we take the rest of them in the corridor, they cannot outflank us.”

He was right, of course. It took all my willpower to calm my disgruntled guts at last, but thankfully I was able to stand and walk again, and we pushed into the corridor just in time to stop another group of troglodytes streaming out into the cavern.

My weakness was gone in an instant. The healthy and familiar mixture of terror and joy of the battle came over me. I held my shield and sword with unshaking hands again. After that, it was only mindless butchery.

In the narrow corridor, no more than two troglodytes could come at us at once, so Jim and I could kill them one by one. While Beldrak was casting his spells without pause, we carved a bloody path through the troglodyte tribe. I thrust, slashed, then thrust again, saw flames flaring up once, twice, cut, and suddenly there was no one left standing before me.

The troglodytes fought desperately, throwing every adult of the tribe at us, and I have to say, not one of them tried to run away, not even in the face of certain death. They were protecting their young ones, after all.

It was all in vain. I was not in a merciful mood after the humiliation the troglodytes meted out on me, and then the desperate fight to the death roused my blood even more. Jim was similarly fired up, and we hunted and murdered all the troglodyte children we could find. I wanted to smash their thrice damned eggs too, but Beldrak stopped me there.

“We can sell those for good money,” he said disapprovingly. I just shrugged and turned to search for other enemies, but there seemed to be none left. Then Jim shouted.

“Hey, here is a…” I heard a door flew open, and as I looked there, saw that the rock itself opened up. A secret door then. Behind it was the shaman of the tribe, with a great lizard at its side.

Beldrak reacted first, sending a great ball of flames in the direction of the other magician, but the lizard sprang into the way and soaked up the fire that was intended for its master.

The enemy lost no time and put Jim to sleep. Before I could wake him, the great lizard was already on me, and I had to defend myself while Beldrak and the troglodyte were fighting their own duel over our heads.

Whether it was stupidity or cowardice on the shaman’s part; or sheer luck on our side, the troglodyte leader showed up too late. Together with the whole tribe, they would have won, but separately they stood no chance.

The lizard, robust as it was, was still only flesh and blood. Shatterspike carved into its body like it cut into the troglodytes before. Beldrak was tired, but he was still a more adept mage than the enemy. He rained spells down on the shaman, who was desperately trying to find an appropriate response, but in the end, a masterfully aimed arrow of glowing force pierced the troglodyte’s temple and killed it. By then the great lizard was bleeding from deep wounds, while its teeth and claws were yet to penetrate the defence of my shield and armour. When its master died, the animal desperately lunged forward to take revenge on Beldrak, but this only gave me an opening to stab it behind the head, severing its spine.

“That would have been ugly if he thought to come out earlier,” I wheezed. “If the other troglodytes would have been still around to tie us down…”

“But they weren’t, and we won,” answered Beldrak, as he kicked Jim awake.

“We have won,” I repeated after him. The orks and the troglodytes, both tribes were gone now. We were left as undisputed masters of their halls and caverns. But the web of corridors and shafts stretched still further. I couldn’t help but wonder what other enemies, other traps, other dangers awaited us in them.

To be fair, the troglodytes were surprisingly easy to deal with. When they first attacked us, the wee critters scared the living shit out of me. These monsters attack three times a turn, do a decent damage, and they can even poison you with their smell. In the end, we could massacre them because we fought them in detail, our characters are OP, and Beldrak’s player is an excellent tactician. Also, while good in the offence, troglodytes have pitifully low VO and HP.

Still, fighting with them was almost as annoying as fighting against typos. Thankfully, in the latter struggle I have you, Dear Readers, to aid me, and also the burning desire to not to let Rubens down after I so badly misused his precious intellectual property.

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