As the vibrating dildo pushed its way into Nagisa-chan, her entire body began to convulse from the sudden surge of pleasure.

Her hands flailed weakly, trying to stop me, but for some reason her strength was so much lower than usual, as if her body refused to fight back.

“Don’t worry, Nagisa-chan,” I whispered close to her ear. “I’ll format every other lover out of your life. I’ll rewrite your body so that it becomes addicted only to me.”

The corner of my eyes then caught something unusual.

It made me pause, halting the rhythm of pleasure I was giving her.

…Nagisa-chan was…

“Wait… Is this some kind of cyborg joke?” I asked slowly.

She was covering her face with both hands, trembling slightly, possibly from the aftershocks of the earlier vibrations.

I glanced at the toy still in my hand. The dildo was smeared with a faint crimson flow.

What did that mean?

Judging by her overbearing embarrassment now, I think it was safe to assume the truth… I had just taken Nagisa-chan’s first time.

So she really hadn’t done anything like this with Sophia or Yasuna?

And here I was, half-convinced there might had even been an illicit connection between her and Nakamura-sensei.

But by the looks of things, Nagisa-chan was still my pure maiden all along.

***

“Shizuka, you will be going with these men. Don’t embarrass me, am I clear?”

Even before those words were spoken, I had already learned that I was chosen for the program, one of the best out of the young ninjas in the clan.

Mother had molded me into a being approaching perfection, and later pushed me into higher education with the Demon Fox organization.

From a young age, I had always been… alone.

I was forced into the role of leading and caring for other children who, like me, had been abandoned or neglected.

The trainings and rituals we endured were brutally horrific, enough to break anyone, yet I would find a faint warmth in simply being surrounded by the others.

After all, mother herself had put me through so much already.

But even then… I kept hoping. I thought maybe I had finally found a real family in them. Or at least something close to it.

Except it didn’t turn out that way.

Somehow, without realizing it, I had been pushed into the unofficial position of leader. Whenever I asked them to play with me, they thought I was just making a joke.

So when they gathered together to laugh, to talk, play little games, act as if the program wasn’t hell… I would always find myself elsewhere, only watching them from the outside.

It wasn’t what I had imagined.

And so I remained alone.

Only Tanaka-chan would sometimes come to me to deliver reports and announcements, as if I had officially been assigned the top role. And I played along, since they all seemed eager for me to lead.

But among all those clueless followers, Nagisa-chan would always come to me for what she called “receiving wisdom.”

She would sit with me and talk, sometimes no longer than a few minutes, yet those short moments felt like hours.

Actually, she was already the smartest among us; known for constantly defying and outsmarting the instructors.

It was almost as if she was too mature for her age sometimes, so “seeking wisdom” wasn’t even a believable excuse. I think she simply didn’t like the way I was always left out.

And because I didn’t want to break her heart by showing her the truth—that I wasn’t the graceful leader she believed me to be, but just a small girl like her—I kept up the façade

By the time four years had passed in the program, I often found myself watching her with envy.

Watching her cuddle Yasuna and the twins. Watching her jest with Kuro and Tanaka-chan. Watching her laugh so easily with the others…

All of it began to eat away at me.

I started to want her for myself.

Motivated by this, I tried to tell her many times, but she always thought I was testing her, or simply teaching her some kind of shinobi lesson.

When we were about twelve, nearing the end of our training, I finally gathered the nerve. I summoned her alone… and kissed her lips suddenly.

I hoped she'd understand everything from that one gesture... But...

But Nagisa-chan still thought I was only instructing her, demonstrating the art of seduction.

"Sasuga Shizuka-sama! I almost slipped up and thought you were in love with me! I still have so much to learn!"

It made me mad… And when I raised my voice in frustration, "YOU DON'T GET IT! YOU NEVER DO!" she frantically apologized and pulled further away from me... than ever before.

From then on, I despised romance.

I told myself I would remain alone forever, and I slowly learned to fit into solitude.

But even then… whenever Nagisa-chan and her friends went out together, I would end up stalking them from a distance.

If they bought ice cream, I would secretly buy one too, so that it felt like I was sharing the moment with them in spirit.

If they went to karaoke, I would rent a room nearby, just to sing along quietly, knowing they were on the other side of the wall.

Even went as far as hiding listening devices in their clothes and hear them have fun at parties and such I wasn’t invited to.

Sometimes, I would even hear them—Yasuna, Neko, Zaki—praise me for being so unreachable and high-up.

Then came the appearance of Sophia: it made me realize I was truly going to die alone.

All the kissing and cuddling between she and Nagisa—it was like a nail driving into my chest every time.

I even considered eliminating her on more than one occasion, but I could never actually do it, since that would only end up hurting Nagisa-chan.

After Gojo Kowai ripped my arms off and dealt me critical damage, I laid against the pillar I had slammed into, drowning in both pain and thoughts.

“What had I even achieved for myself in this life?”

I had smiled plenty of times on the outside, but in truth, all I ever really wanted to do was cry and sulk...

Unlike Nagisa and the rest, I didn’t actually hate the super ninja program that much.

What I really hated was the fact that despite all my accomplishments and feats as a dedicated shinobi... Mother never once praised me.

Nagisa-chan always held too much reverence to even speak to me like a normal person.

The others kept their distance too, not wanting to ruin my reputation by hanging around me for too long.

The loneliness was surreal, and I ended up cherishing every single conversation I ever managed to have.

“But now, I am going to die without ever truly smiling once in my entire life," I thought then.

Except, I woke up again...