I float.

 

Well, it was a fun ride while it lasted, guy. I feel kind of sad, but… now that I’m free from that body and its emotions I also feel just a little bit more unbound. Like a string that was binding my soul has been cut loose. It hurts, but at the same time, I’m me again. Whatever that means in this state. Like an animal chewing its leg to get out of a trap. I’m m-

 

I open my eyes. But I can’t see anything as my body fails immediately. I die.

 

I float. Oh. Right. The dung-

 

I look.

 

I die.

 

I float.

 

  Over and over, strange lights and visages fly past me. Obscure memories rushing through my new corporeal body each time for only a fraction of a second as something inevitably cuts me in half, stabs me, crushes me. Lives literally flash before my eyes, easily a dozen over. All of them doomed for the ice. All of them wasted.

 

I float.

 

I open my eyes just in time to see the small hands grabbing me.

 

“YOU STUPID, WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH!”

 

  “Hi mom,” I tell the dungeon-master who is busy slamming me around the table. The leather covers of my body slamming against the corner edge of the wood, as they smash a dent into my spine. They don’t say anything, they’re just screaming feral noises and smashing me against the table. A minute later, they stop to glare at me for a second, their hands shaking as they clutch me.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!”

 

They rip open my covers and tear out my first page, I let out a pained noise as they toss it down into the pit below.

 

  “ISN’T IT BAD ENOUGH YOU ALREADY RUINED MY DUNGEON ONCE?! IF I HAD KNOWN THAT YOU JUST WANTED TO FUCK ME OVER THAT BADLY, I WOULD HAVE AT LEAST GIVEN YOU AN ATTRACTIVE BODY FIRST!” They tear out another one of my pages and crumple it together before tossing it down into the hole.

 

“Because you certainly don’t have the personality! You asshole!” They tear another page out and grab me on both covers, pulling until the threads on my spine start to snap.

 

This is going better than I thought it would, honestly. I look at the dungeon-master’s face. They seem a little emotional right now. That’s fair. Maybe there’s something I can do to ease things over. People like compliments, right?

 

“You have beautiful eyes,” I tell the dungeon-master, hoping to placate them.

 

“SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS! YOU FREAKY DEGENERATE!” They snap their head to the side and I tense up. “MADISON! GET OVER HERE! NOW!”

 

Madison floats around the corner, drifting somewhat nervously as she approaches, as the dungeon-master yells at them. “I’m really disappointed in you! You should have known better! Of all people!”

 

Madison floats. “Sorry, I guess I just got caught up in it all, you know?” says the book dreamily.

 

  “Caught up?! CAUGHT UP?!” The dungeon-master slams me down onto the table, taking a second to pour a glass of ink over my pages before smashing my covers closed together. They look back to Madison and rise up, standing on their chair and gripping the back-rest with a hand, as they point to her. “The only one who’s caught up here is me! I’m caught up on this fucking chair over this fucking hole, because of FUCK UPS LIKE YOU TWO!” The dungeon-master grabs Madison, she squeaks as she’s snatched from the air.

 

  “Do you have any idea what will happen if the dark-lord catches even a wink of this?! Do you have any idea how royally FUCKED we are?! If you thought things were bad now, just you FUCKING WAIT!” The dungeon-master screams in frustration. They look back to me, pointing with one hand, the other not letting go of Madison.

 

  “And you! What the fuck are you doing?! You had the perfect opportunity to finally make something exciting happen here for me to watch, and what do you do instead? You WASTE IT! AGAIN! You could have snuck off to some dark corner with that monk girl for at least a few hours, I could have bought that much time! But nooooo~ apparently, you’d rather fuck me instead! Well thank you very much! It’s flattering!” They slam a squealing Madison down against the table next to me with each word. “But. I’m. Not. Interested!”

 

“It’s fine,” I tell the dungeon-master, my voice sticky with ink. “Nobody sa-“

 

“SHUT.” Commands the dungeon-master, not even expanding a second word.

 

I start. “But-“

 

  “SHUT!” The dungeon-master glares at me, their chest heaving from their frantic breaths. One hand presses down against me, the other against Madison as they pin us both to the table. They look around the library. “Where the fuck is that creepy, sweaty elf?! She was supposed to keep you on a leash!”

 

“I don’t like being tie-“

 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’M DONE!”

 

The library is quiet for a time. I just now notice that all of the work around us has stopped a while ago, everyone is watching us. Even James. Ugh. The dungeon-master grits their teeth and glares at us. At me.

 

  “When will you learn?! That your actions have consequences! I tried! I tried being the fun dungeon-master! I tried being the cool dungeon-master! But if you won’t learn, if you won’t do what you’re supposed to do - then I’ll fucking make you! You want to get out of here? You want to get me and us all out of here?! Who the fuck do you think you are?! We’re only stuck here because of you in the first place!”

 

They lift Madison up and slam her down onto my ink covered pages. A wet tearing sound makes itself heard as they pull her back up and as our pages separate. It’s so embarrassing!

 

“Everything that is going wrong here is because of you! Everything that’s dead is dead because of you! Everything that’s happening is happening BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR ACTIONS!”

 

They lift Madison up again and glare at me. “This is all. Your. Fault AND I’M DONE! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” Their head snaps to Madison and they glare at her. “MADISON!” The dungeon-master arcs their arm back.

 

“YOU’RE FIRED!” they shout, and toss the argent book down into the pit where she vanishes into the darkness as she spirals downward.

 

“MA-“ I begin to shout, just as the hand presses me down back onto the table, a pair of venomous eyes glaring my way. The dungeon-master raises a hand to snap their fingers and I die.

 

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