CW: SLURS, TRANSPHOBIA, HOMOPHOBIA, intentional misgendering, intentional deadnaming

(Aryalat’s notes: This was a dream I had in the night of the 6^th to 7^th of February. It happened after a series of quite horrific nightmares (fuck you too, brain) that I also remember but will NOT share.)

(Aryalat’s notes: Somehow, I remember quite explicitly some of the conversations, so I will be reproducing them here.)

(Aryalat’s notes: To all my readers, please heed the content warnings. Some of the things that were said could have been spoken by any far right asshole anywhere. Once again, brain, fuck you.)

The story presents two different realities, my regular daily life and the other one. I would shift between them randomly, without warning, but time didn’t seem to pass between shifts, so I was essentially living both lives at the same time. My daily life is not that interesting, so I’ll focus on the other half, the shifted life.

In this life, I was the prince (Aryalat’s notes: yes, male prince) of a fairly modern country (Aryalat’s notes: think something like the monarchies of UK or Spain). I shifted for the first time in what seemed to be an official conference room, and I seemed to be wearing a suit of some kind. I was, as you can imagine, super confused. As I looked around, a beautiful woman in a pretty white dress came to me, with two little girls in tow. She thanked me for everything, and was looking forward for the charity foundation she was spearheading to be able to help the people of our country. As I was in awe about how kind such a thing sounded, the little girls started complaining:

“Siiiiis/Sylviaaaaa, when can we eeeeaaaaat?”

“After the ceremony is over, it won’t be too long, please behave.”

She apologized about her sisters, and confessed to me that she always dreaded these events quite a bit. I asked her why, confused, and she looked at me even more confused. It seemed like she was a childhood friend of this “prince”, so I should already know, but in the end she reminded me that in these official events, people would just use her old name and pronouns constantly, and that it put quite a damper in her mood. I answered clearly:

“Well, Sylvia, I have no intention of doing that.”

“What did you say?”

“You’re opening a magnificent charity operation, and people want to be rude to you? Fuck that”

She teared up a bit, saying that I never did something like that. I was starting to not really like this prince guy either, not even trying to protect his childhood friend…

At that moment, they announced that the event would start, so we separated and then I shifted away.

After living my normal life for a bit, I shifted back. I went to the presiding table, with other people there, like the man I assumed was the king. I sat down with a plop, making them all look at me quite weird. Their weird looks didn’t stop at all, either from them or from the audience, because it seemed I was acting very strange. Well, I myself am not educated in royal manners and etiquette, and have rather fem mannerisms, so… It was super obvious I didn’t fit in there.

I decided to focus on the speech printed for me. The charity seemed to be going to do a lot of good, Sylvia was using her family money in quite the nice manner. At that moment, sadly, I saw that the speech, indeed, deadnamed and misgendered the poor girl quite every time she was mentioned. Yeah, no, I was not about to call her that, so I just took out a pen and changed all those parts. (Aryalat’s notes: I know it’s kinda stupid, but I won’t be deadnaming her here, even though she doesn’t exist and I know her deadname. It simply doesn’t feel right.)

It finally became my turn, so I got up tot he tribune and start giving my speech. When I start properly naming and gendering her, people start talking to each other confused, and when I looked at Sylvia I saw her covering her mouth with her hands, clearly crying. I was not allowed to finish my speech, as I was grabbed by the king and some aides and had a heated argument, with the press around taking pictures of the whole thing.

“What the hell are you doing? First you act all weird, and now you defend that f***** [deadname]?”

“What, was I supposed not to defend my childhood friend? And in such an important occasion too!”

“Who gives a damn about that man in a dress? He’s just a disgusting c***********!”

“You know what? Fuck you, fuck these people, fuck this event and fuck this country!”

And with that, I ran away, grabbing Sylvia by her hand and taking her out of the place with me. I shift away.

Next time I shift back, I can see on my phone that the press is already wondering if I’m on drugs, or if I’m secretly a “f***** charmed by a t*****”. I swore there and then that I would destroy as many members of the press as I could in the country. We ran away for a while, until we sat down in a bench in a park. She asked me what the hell was going on, because she could tell I was acting all weird, and while she really appreciated me helping her out, this is very different to how I normally was. I stay silent for a few seconds, and get ready to tell her the truth… and then I woke up.