Chapter 27
Stellar Faith

Doctor Riel stood up from her seat and stuck out her hand to Blake with a warm smile. “You’re a bit early, Blake. Doctor Drake is in consultation with another patient at the moment, I’m afraid.” 

“That’s okay, Doctor,” Blake said as she shook Francesca Riel’s hand, “I was actually hoping to talk to you for a moment, if that’s okay?” They both sat down. 

“Of course.” She tapped in a few things on her monitor. “What is… hold on… up?”

“It’s not about me, for once,” Blake said. “I’m actually sort of here in my position as First Officer.” She shifted a bit in her seat. Andromeda’s clothes felt a lot better on her skin than her own did, but for this particular occasion she had put on her uniform. The problem was that there was no gendered difference between uniforms, and so she hadn’t found a good reason to request a new one. Even if this one itched all over. 

The doctor blinked, and then closed the window she’d opened on her monitor, and laced her fingers together. “Oh, okay, then! What’s up, Officer?” Blake squeezed her eyes shut and stuck out her tongue. 

“Ugh, please, just call me Blake. We’re both senior officers, and this makes me sound like law enforcement.” Doctor Riel chuckled and leaned back in her seat. 

“That is entirely fair, Blake. On one condition.” She held up a finger. “You have to call me Francesca when you’re in here, then.” She squinted at Blake, who smirked and nodded. 

“Alright, Francesca,” Blake said. “And, well, I wanted to get your opinion on… how things have been going with the crew.” She waved her hand. “I know that’s a bit vague but, well…”

“I think I know what you mean. Obviously I can’t break doctor-patient confidentiality--”

“--but you do have your fingers on the pulse, and have a feel for crew morale.” Francesca nodded. “So… what’s your view on things? I’ve been a bit preoccupied.” She rubbed the back of her neck a little awkwardly. 

“There’s been… something, at least,” Francesca agreed. “I take it you’ve seen the report as well?” Blake nodded. “I’ve been asking, and I do have a theory for what’s going on.” She leaned forward, clasping her hands together. Francesca didn’t seem worried to Blake, not as such. Not really. Instead, it was more that she seemed to be ruminating, running things through her head. “The thing is that I haven’t heard anyone saying it. The thing is that this is my worries, and as a doctor, I feel like I can’t discount the possibility that I’m projecting my own issues onto others.”

“Well, I’d still love to hear them, Doc-- eh, Francesca,” Blake said. “Even if you’re not on the ball, your own take on things can still be valuable, and, well, you’re a member of the crew too.” She smiled reassuringly. “You’re important too.”

“I know,” Francesca said, returning the expression. “Don’t worry, I have people in my staff I can see professionally. But yes, I believe the problem is with how much has been happening lately.” She leaned back and ran a finger along her jawline as she stared ahead, deep in thought. “We have taken our first few steps into the stars. I was prepared for cabin fever, homesickness, even the concept of new anxieties that relate to space travel.” She sighed and turned the screen to Blake. It showed a list of articles. There were hundreds. “There were so many theories about the mental stress that interstellar travel could’ve had on people.”

“But you’ve seen something different, then?” Blake asked. “Something more? Or something else entirely.” Francesca nodded and stood up. 

“Yes,” she said. “Walk with me?” Blake pushed her chair back and stepped with her to the door. Francesca opened the door, and they both started walking down the hall. Blake wasn’t sure if she wanted to show something in particular, or if she just wanted to get out of the office. Blake couldn’t blame her. She’d been cooped up in her room for too long, too, and one of the reasons she’d gone down to Medical was just to stretch her legs. “The problem is that we sort of considered the possibility of meeting alien life, but it was more than just that.”

Blake nodded. “Trust me, I’ve had my own… issues, with regards to the new revelations.” She chuckled. “It’s been a confrontational experience, to say the least.”

Francesca nodded as they casually wandered down the halls of the Sollipsis. “Yes, but you’re… something of a special case, aren’t you? No offense.” Blake shook her head. She was well aware of the fact that she was an outlier in more ways than one. “Not everyone on the crew is trans. But the anxiety is still there. Within myself, as well.”

“Do you think it’s related, then? To the Unity? Or on a larger scale?”

“Larger,” Francesca said as she guided both of them to one of the mess halls. “Personally, I think it’s a matter of… faith. And I don’t mean in a strictly religious sense, although that does play a part, for me personally.” The door to the cafeteria opened. It was a large room, with several large windows on the ceiling. The various dining areas had been spread around the ship to always be positioned around the outside of the ship. While there were several bulkheads that could close in case of an emergency, they all had large windows. It had been theorized — and proven to be correct — that a window to the stars would be relaxing to people when they sat down to eat. 

Francesca went over to one of the wall-mounted dispensers, and poured herself a cup of coffee. Blake made herself a cup of tea, and for a moment the quiet ritual of making themselves a drink was the only noise between them, the only real noise in the room. The mess hall was mostly abandoned at the moment, with only a few people sitting at various tables, most of them with tablets, finding the mess hall a good place to get some studying or work done. The ones that noticed Blake and Francesca saluted, but didn’t get up. It was unofficial policy that the mess hall was ‘neutral territory’ when it came to ranks. 

“I think,” Francesca said when they sat down at a table in one of the corners, “the problem is faith in our place in the universe.” She kept her voice low, both because she didn’t want to disturb the other people seated, and, Blake suspected, because the subject matter was likely to upset some people. “The problem is that Earth felt like the center of our universe. Our stellar maps are centered on Earth. Earth is home, it’s where life is, it’s where people are.” Blake sipped her tea. 

“And now it isn’t anymore,” she said as she put her cup down. “I think I understand.”

“Exactly,” Francesca said. “If we had met another civilization, we would have understood a clash like that. We could have argued that, sure, for them, their homeworld is the center of their universe, but that would’ve just been their opinion.” She took the salt and pepper shakers on the table and put them opposite each other. “Like two countries with their own capitals, whose is more important is just a matter of opinion.” She took two other shakers from the table and put them on opposite sides of the other two, creating a square. “If we had met several, that same principle would still apply.”

“But?” Blake cocked her head, looking at the impromptu presentation. “That is what happened, isn’t it?” Francesca shook her head and down her cup of coffee, then put the spoon off to the side. 

“Not quite,” she said, then put her cup in the middle of the four shakers. “Yes, we met other species in the galaxy, which is already incredibly confrontational. The concept that there are other people in the universe who have their own perceptions of it, that there are those for whom time might run differently, for whom the experience of life might be tangential or completely diametrically opposed to our own. But it’s not just that.” She drew a circle above the shakers. “All of those species agreed, collectively, that the center of the galaxy is not their homeworld. We met not just another civilization. We met the galactic community.” She pointed at her empty cup. “It’s like finding out that you thought you lived in the biggest city in the country, and it’s just a village.”

“The center of the universe is not up for debate,” Blake mused, “because it’s been decided by collective agreement?”

“Exactly,” Francesca said. “It’s not a debate, it was a democratic vote. Yes, humanity will become a part of the galactic community, our voice will be heard, but at the end of the day, we’ll just be one of many, our voice small by comparison. We are, we have found out in recent weeks, not all that important.”

Blake rubbed her face. “Yeah,” she said. “I can see how that could be anxiety-inducing.” An understatement, at the very least. She was getting stressed out just thinking about it. “We weren’t out-reasoned, we were out-voted before we ever set foot on the scene.”

“Yes,” Francesca said, “and it’s making me have to completely reconsider our — humanity’s — place in the universe. What measure is humanity, what measure is God, when all of what we believed in is not just other, but less important. Our place in the universe was altered, not through debate or arguments, but by committee.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” Blake said, “but I can definitely see it.”

“M-hm,” Francesca said, “and I think that that, if not consciously, then at least subconsciously, is eating away at people. A lot of our agency has been taken away. The center of the universe was yanked sideways by several light-years. It’s almost hard to imagine not feeling lost when you really think about it.”

“That’s… you’ve certainly given me things to think about, Doctor,” Blake said.

“Francesca,” Francesca said with a smile. “And I am sorry about that. You’ve got a lot to think about already.” Blake chuckled. 

“Yes. Yes, I do,” she said. “Speaking of which, I was wondering if I could pick your brain about something.”

“Of course. I’d be happy to help. Is this something you wouldn’t rather talk to Remi about? Doctor Drake, I mean.” They both got up to refill their drinks. Blake shook her head.

“No, it’s nothing that dramatic,” she said. “I was hoping to get your opinion on, uh, names.” She poured herself a cup of tea. “I’m just… not sure what to look for. A lot of the reading material that Doctor Drake gave me, a lot of the stuff I found in our databanks, tells me that a lot of people have ideas beforehand, names they played around with as kids, and that’s just… not something I did. And I haven’t had that ‘Eureka’ moment yet.”

“Hmm,” Francesca said as she sipped her coffee. “Personally, I’ve always been a fan of the classics. I was named after my great-grandmother. Names like Josephine, Elizabeth, that kind of thing.”

“There are over fifty variations of Elizabeth on the ship,” Blake said with a little giggle. “It might be a little selfish, but I think I do want something a little more unique.”

“That’s entirely fair,” Francesca said. “I can compile you a list of names that I think fit you? I’m not sure how else I could help you, I’m afraid.”

“I think I’d like that,” Blake said. “Thank you, Doctor Riel.”

“Of course, First Officer Blake,” Francesca said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I do think I’ve been shirking my duties for long enough, and I should get back to work before the First Officer finds me slacking off. She’s a real hard-ass.” With a wide smile and a nod to each other, they went their separate ways. Despite how much she had to think about, Blake had a smile on her face when she got back to her room.

Elamimax

Every once in a while I drop little hints as to what the 21st century was like in this world :3