Jin Huang Xiu took in a sharp intake of breath, his eyes opening wide as he gasps for air, as if he had been deprived of it for so long. His body lays immobile on top of soft cushions but he is too afraid to move his limbs. He feels like he’s in a dream but it felt too vivid to be one. He smell the familiar scents that linger in this familiar bed, in this bedroom.

But how could that be? He was supposed to be dead.

Jin Huang Xiu never expected to open his eyes again. He tests his limbs and feels that he was in complete control of his body. He curls his toes, clenches his hands into fists before he releases them. Tenatively, Jin Huang Xiu lifted up his hand and stared at the length of his arm. It wasn’t sickly pale and bony like he expected but instead, it was firm and healthy, like he was prior to his—

So was this a dream after all?

Jin Huang Xiu felt restless, his heart’s beats gaining speed. He did not understand what was going on. For once in his entire life, he did not know what he should do in this predicament.

Huang Xiu flinches upon hearing the faint sounds of movement. It seems to be coming from the drawing room that was adjacent to this space.

Jin Huang Xiu felt his heart stop upon hearing that familiar voice speak, “Huang’er, are you awake?”

That voice… it was so vivid and so close and yet—

This was a dream. It was definitely a dream most cruel. It was the lofty wishes of a dying man just before the end of his suffering.

He finds it difficult to think that this could ever be reality.

Huang Xiu sat up on his bed, his movements slow but sure, his face remaining impassive and giving nothing away. And yet, his heart was racing, almost ready to burst, and he feels his chest tighten. He waits as he hears footsteps coming closer towards the doorway. He hears the door sliding open and when Huang Xiu finally gains the courage to look up, he felt his heart stopping inside his chest.

A tall man approached his bedside, dressed in layers of greyish blue and white. His long, dark hair was loosely combed back, with no pin or ribbon adorning his silky black locks. He knows for a fact that he doesn’t really like anything adorning his hair. Those familiar steel-grey eyes, framed with long thin lashes, were staring right at him, shining as they were with gentle ardour. He can never quite forget those eyes.

His peach coloured lips were curved in a slight smile, as it always appears when he looks at Huang Xiu, but that soon turned into a concerned frown as Bai Xing calls out Jin Huang Xiu’s name in a slightly panicked voice.

“Huang’er?” Bai Xing hastens his pace and reaches the side of the bed, sitting down on the edge. His arms reach forwards and Bai Xing’s panic seemed to escalate. At least, that is what Huang Xiu senses must be going on as he suddenly finds it difficult to see, his gaze watery and hazy.

“Huang’er? What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Why are you crying?” Bai Xing’s questions spill out in one breath. Huang Xiu feels his warm, calloused hands cup the sides of his face, the pads of his fingers wiping the tears that spill from his eyes. The tears won’t stop spilling down his cheeks. He feels a sob make its way and getting stuck in his throat. His lips tremble from the effort of not making a noise.

His face remains frozen under his lover’s touch but Huang Xiu finds it difficult to stop the cascade of tears or the way his hands tremble as he fists the white sheets underneath his touch. His lips part ever so slightly, as if he wanted to speak but he presses them together in a thin line, not wanting to let out a single sound as he knows it was going to sound incoherent to Bai Xing’s ears.

He spent five years wasting away in this very bed, sealed away in this very room room as he retreated from the world with nothing but fleeting memories of that face, that smile, that fond gaze and that deep voice.

Such strong emotions—Jin Huang Xiu was not used to experiencing them. He feels like his heart might burst right out of his chest.

Meanwhile, Bai Xing is sitting there, absolutely confused and in a panic. The impassive gaze on his beloved’s face has not shifted in the slightest but the tears are still present. He sees those pale pink, petal-soft lips pressed together, trembling with the effort of trying to keep it closed. If he allows himself to believe, Bai Xing thinks that those mesmerizing black irises, watery with a constant stream of hot tears, are in pain. What could have happened while he was in the other room preparing breakfast?

“Huang’er?” Bai Xing tries again. Though Bai Xing hoped for a response, what followed definitely was beyond his expectations.

The immobile Jin Huang Xiu suddenly slowly moved forwards. Bai Xing instinctively moves towards him too, sparing Huang Xiu from doing much effort to come closer. Bai Xing feels a pair of arms wrapping around him, weight pressing against his chest, and a face hiding in the juncture of his neck and shoulders.

Now, it was Bai Xing’s turn to be immobile.

In half the year that they’ve been in a relationship, this was Bai Xing’s first time to experience his lover’s embrace. The latter would let himself be embraced, kissed breathless, and be held at night until the sun peaks in the horizon—but not once has he ever initiated his affections first.

Or, could it be different? Huang Xiu might have experienced a nightmare; a dream so harrowing that he sought comfort from the one person who would readily give it to him. That might be it. Yes, that must be it. Ah, it was still surprising if he thought of it that way, though. To think that the Jin Huang Xiu would be affected by such mortal things… it was strangely refreshing in a way.

Regardless, it felt nice to be needed to some degree. If his lover wanted comfort, then he’ll happily provide it. Bai Xing wraps his arms around Huang Xiu in turn and presses him closer. Huang Xiu seemed to respond in kind, his hands fisting the back of his robes. He feels that the tears from earlier subside but Bai Xing notes that his lover was shivering slightly.

Huang Xiu was the first one to pull away. His head was bent down slightly, his loose silky black hair creating a sort of curtain to block half of his face. The thick, long lashes that framed his eyes were moist and the whites of his eyes reddened. There was the faintest trace of pink across his snow-white cheeks.

For someone who had just cried so much, he still looked ethereal and dignified. Truly, a peerless beauty.

“Are you alright now?” Bai Xing asked, keeping his voice soft, as if he was trying not to startle him. Huang Xiu’s answering nod was faint but still there.

“Would you tell me what happened?” He doesn’t expect a clear and honest answer. Whatever troubles Jin Huang Xiu, he never tells anyone else about it. A bitter side of him wants to be upset about that but he knows better. Jin Huang Xiu would never burden others with his troubles.

Huang Xiu looks up and meets Bai Xing’s warm, earnest gaze. It was immensely difficult to not crumble into a mess of tears again. He had spent years hiding in the walls of his courtyard, hidden in the deepest parts of it in his room, wasting away from the proud man he once was after he lost Bai Xing. He couldn’t die fast enough, Jin Huang Xiu remembers. If he died fast enough, then they’d be together in the afterlife.

He opens his mouth but no words come out. His mouth flaps uselessly so he clamps it shut. Even he knows how undignified he must look when he has nothing to say and yet still makes futile attempts to make a sound.

After a short while of gathering his thoughts, Huang Xiu finally spoke. “… I apologize for allowing you to see something unsightly. I am alright,” he said finally.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Bai Xing quickly retorts. He takes Huang Xiu’s hand in his and gives it a reassuring squeeze. He expected Huang Xiu to flinch at his sudden touch but once again, those expectations were shattered as Huang Xiu returned the gesture, so faintly that only Bai Xing’s heightened senses could have picked up on it.

Huang Xiu remained quiet again. He was looking at Bai Xing with an unfathomable expression. He seemed to be deep in thought, as his gaze was blank like his expression. He broke the silence first. His voice was quiet, as if he was testing the waters.

“… Bai Xing?”

“Mhm?”

Another long pause. “…Bai Xing.”

“Yes?”

Huang Xiu’s expression was still difficult to ascertain. Bai Xing can never quite figure out how to decipher Huang Xiu’s emotions. Jin Huang Xiu was famous for being an unfathomable, untouchable cold beauty whose face was always difficult to read. It would seem that only his family know how to read his mind.

Bai Xing still did not know why he was calling out his name so tentatively (though that did not stop the butterflies in this stomach from going wild in happiness).

Another stretch of silence followed. Bai Xing felt a bit nervous, even though the silence wasn’t tense at all but Huang Xiu broke the silence again when he asks softly, “What time is it?”

The question reminded Bai Xing of the food that had been left in the other room. “It’s time for breakfast, that’s what. Aren’t you supposed to meet your disciples at Chen Shi¹07:00~08:59 is called Chen Shi (辰时).?”

That threw Jin Huang Xiu quite a bit. Or, at least it appeared to have been the case. Bai Xing sees him do a full-body flinch and he quickly (but no less elegantly) makes his way out of the bed to change out of his night clothes.

Bai Xing decided to excuse himself. No matter how far they’ve gone physically, Huang Xiu was not one to like having an audience as he changes. Bai Xing quietly went out of the bedroom and headed back to the main room. The food that he prepared earlier was still on the low table, still hot as if it was freshly prepared. Though cultivators like them who have already entered or have gone past the Immortal Tier have no need for human needs like food and water to survive, Jin Huang Xiu was a creature of habit that has never failed to have breakfast that stemmed from when he became a disciple of the Snow Peony Sect.

Even now, when he had been appointed the new leader of the Sect when his old shizun had decided to go pass the role of leadership to him so he could roam the world, he never missed a day of this morning ritual.

Soon, Jin Huang Xiu emerges from the bedroom, dressed immaculately in swaths of snow white robes, the inner most layer fringed with soft white fur around the collar. The robes were overlayed with slate-grey outer robe, the sleeves of which were embroidered with elegant floral imagery. His long hair had been styled with a half-updo, letting most of his hair cascade freely down his back that stretched so far down past his thighs. The top knot was held in place with a high-grade silver crown that was dotted with brilliant pure white jade pieces.

Bai Xing feels himself staring dazedly at the man in front of him. He can never quite get over how breathtakingly beautiful Jin Huang Xiu is. The world world reveres his beauty but there was a different effect upon seeing it up close. It was like seeing a perfectly carved jade statue come to life and grace him with his presence.

His trance was broken when he heard his name being called. “Bai Xing,” Jin Huang Xiu’s voice was a bit firmer now, sort of how he normally spoke. Bai Xing watches as he lowers himself to sit on the low table. Without missing a beat, he asked, “Will you be returning here tonight?”

Bai Xing was losing count on how many unexpected things he’s getting from his lover in the short amount of time he’s been awake! Had he had something in his mouth, Bai Xing was sure he might have spat it out from complete surprise. Bai Xing had to collect his thoughts for half an incense stick before he could finally get out a reply.

“I need to return to Refined Osmanthus so I won’t be able to come back tonight… but in three days, I will be able to return,” he answers honestly, allowing himself a smile. This was a first for Jin Huang Xiu to ask him about such things. To say he was happy would be an understatement.

Because he was head disciple, he was in charge of monitoring the progress of the junior disciples. Well, it was not exactly a very strict responsibility but Bai Xing was dilligent. Truthfully, it should really be their Sect leader handling this type of responsibility (or the other teachers) but their Sect Leader had left to undergo secluded cultivation for an indefinite period of time, which meant that Bai Xing had to shoulder the responsibility himself.

 If anything, he was the proxy Sect Leader until the real leader returns from her secluded cultivation.

“Hn,” came Jin Huang Xiu’s curt but soft reply. “… Then be careful when you travel.”

“I will,” Bai Xing replies. He waits until Jin Huang Xiu finishes his meal, which took no time at all since Bai Xing had provided a light meal (mostly due to lack of time). When he finishes, he clears the table for him before returning to the main room.

“I will escort you out,” Jin Huang Xiu says resolutely. Bai Xing did not have enough time to process his words until he follows him in a slight panic, hastily fastening his fur-lined cloak over his shoulders and grabbing his sword from where he placed it earlier.

Jin Huang Xiu’s strides were long, purposeful, and ever so graceful. He walks down the halls with the air of royalty but the grace of a talented dancer. Bai Xing feels like a clumsy buffoon trying to catch up to him. A few of Snow Peony Sect disciples can be seen turning the corner, carrying armloads of books and scrolls. They seem to be preparing for the day’s lesson.

Upon seeing Jin Huang Xiu, they immediately stood at attention and greeted him with reverence. They were unable to look at him straight in the eyes, for fear their hearts would stop at witnessing such ethereal beauty up close. When they saw that Bai Xing was with them, they hastily paid their respects too. These junior disciples did not know that the famed Bai Xing of the Refined Osmanthus Sect would be visiting today! Even more surprising was that he was with Snow Peony’s Sect Leader.

Many of them thought that they just had a meeting of sorts. They decided to disregard the time of day was sort of inappropriate to have meetings.