GR Chapter 11: A Brother’s Monologue #3

A/N: This is the last of Enri’s monologue. Be warned that this might be depressing to read. Next up will be back to the normal storyline and in Serika’s POV.

October, ten years old

It has been a month since the accident. I don’t remember much what happened after that. The blow I received was too much to bear. My parents are gone now. The only saving grace was that Serika is still alive and recovering quickly. The funeral was uneventful. People who claimed to be relatives came and went. They all talked about the inheritance, us being orphaned, needing guardians and so on. I was sitting in a corner hanging my head letting the lady who claimed to be some social charity or society something member take care of all the work. I didn't cry in front of them though. Why would I cry in front of strangers?

During the past month, I was basically living inside the hospital accompanying Serika in her room. I lost track of how much we cried hugging each other. I stayed with her partly due to grief, and also partly due to stopping myself from the stupid thought of going to where my parents are to ask for forgiveness.

Honestly, it took me great effort to not jump into the river on the way home but after Serika popped on my mind, those thoughts gradually disappeared. She only had me now, I couldn’t bear to leave her in this world alone.

Shelton also came to visit us in the hospital frequently. Either due to feeling sad or going with the mood of the two of us, he also cried with us most of the time.

November, ten years old

Serika has been discharged from the hospital. We have been told that a distant aunt and her family will be taking us into their family, and to be nice. The family was a family of three: our aunt, her husband, and their daughter. The couple was over 40 years old, and wanted us as siblings for their only daughter. It took us two month before we warmed up a bit to them. By then, Shelton miraculously became our neighbor again.

January, eleven years old

We have been living with our distant aunt for two months now. I can say that they treated us neither too warm nor too cold. However, a conversation I accidentally heard broke my image of them.

They said they would let Serika marry after high school. They said they would let me stop studying after high school. They said our inheritance money would be used to fund their daughter’s university and their restaurant. Anger was what I felt, not only for myself but for Serika’s sake.

My sister is good at studying so she ought to be a brilliant college student. I don’t mind working to support her but to think she will force her to marry is too much. I took Serika away from the house without hesitation. We went to a center for orphans and told authorities the truth.

Later on, we were yet again taken into another relative’s family. Another strange thing is that somehow Shelton became our neighbor again in this new family. If I hadn’t known him better, I’d say he’s gotten addicted to playing neighbor with us. Truth is I could guess that it was his form of support for us. The family treated us warmly. In fact, they treated us so well that they reminded me of my parents. The very image of them reminded me of my parents as well as the images of the crash scene replaying in my mind. I was once again tormented by guilt despite the warm environment.

If only I hadn’t went out to meet that girl. If only I hadn’t scared her away. If only I hadn't loved.

Regret came too late.

I acted fine on the outside as guilt and grief continued to eat away my mind on the inside. It hurt so much seeing Serika happy with the new family.

Finally, I decided to run away in May.

May, eleven years old

It was Friday night. I was told that our new parents would be late coming home tonight. After confirming that Serika was asleep in her room, I carefully picked up my backpack which was prepared stealthily since last week, and the letter informing them on my leaving which is to be put on the living room table.

I once again looked around the living room as I finished tying my shoelaces.

This place will be twice as homely to my sister if I wasn’t here.

With my resolve, I turned around to leave the house.

Two hours later, I was sitting dazedly on the bus. It was already 11:30 at night. To be honest, I have no idea where I should go. I suddenly thought of the park where we usually played as I saw the familiar scenery outside the window. I let the uncle driver stop the bus saying that I saw my parents. He let me out after warning me to be careful.

The park was deserted with no shadow in sight. Except for the occasional night breeze, and the rustling of the leaves from the trees and bushes, it was very quiet. Memories continued to pop up in my mind as I walked to the swing. Memories which should have been beautiful and joyous turned into sad and nostalgic ones. I don’t know if it would have been different without the accident. I can’t believe that this many things changed in just one year.

What would have happened if dad and mom were still here?

Would they scold me if I didn’t look after Serika properly?

Would they praise me and Serika for doing great in school?

Would they be proud of me winning tournaments?

Would they take us on family trips to the hot springs or the beach again?

More and more thoughts welled up, and tears uncontrollably fell from my eyes as I hang my head down while sitting on the swing. As the night breeze blew on my face, I felt it cool my tears.

I was too absorbed in my thoughts that I was unaware of the sound of footsteps until I saw a pair of shoes in front of me.

I looked up to see the crying face of the most important person to me right now, my sister, Serika. In my shock, I widened my eyes and wasn’t able to let out a sound at all.

Serika glared at me silently as tears continued to fall from her eyes. We looked at each other for a while as my eyes moved from her crying face to the back on her shoulders. My shock grew the more I observed her.

“Wha- Just what are you doing here, Serika?” My voice was shaking from all the crying.

“Nii-chan, you big big idiot!!” It seems my question was her trigger as Serika shouted then jumped on me.

I was surprised by her pounce and fell off the swing with her on my body. I unconsciously cushioned her body with mine at the fall. This almost became second instinct to me now as I was taught since little to always protect my weak baby sister.

“What the- Are you okay?!”

I sat my upper body up and checked her for any injury, but she suddenly hugged me fiercely.

“Idiot Nii-chan, just why did you leave without telling me?” Serika’s voice sounded near my ears. I can feel her little body quivering as she hugged my neck. I instantly regret leaving her behind.

“I- “ I found myself stammering to answer her.

“I thought that if I acted happy in the new family, Nii-chan would also be cheered up, but Nii-chan still cried and even left me like mommy and daddy!” By the end of her sentence, Serika burst into uncontrollable tears.

I felt as if countless sharp shards was poking my heart seeing her like this.

“Is it because mommy died because of protecting Serika that- that Nii-chan, Nii-chan doesn’t want me anymore?” Huh? What?

It took me a while to figure out what she meant. She must be talking about how mom was protecting her when the accident happened. I also faintly heard about it. It seemed like because mom shielded Serika that a shard of glass pierced her neck leading to her death. I don’t blame her though. Mom used her very own life to exchange for Serika’s.

“It is Serika’s fault, isn’t it?” Suddenly, it dawned on me.

Just like me. Serika too was blaming herself. No, even more so than me. Different from me who was a bystander to the accident at the time. Serika watched as mom was pierced protecting her. Coupled with what she heard from the adults at the hospital, she must have thought that it was her fault.

Despite that, she tried to be cheerful in hopes of making me happy and warming me to the new family. How strong can she be? I thought it was me who was always looking after her, but in fact, it was the other way around isn’t it?

“No, no, it isn’t Serika’s fault.” I firmed my voice telling myself to comfort her properly.

“Really?” She looked up at me with her voice still shaking.

“Yes, really.” I answered her seriously as I used my right hand to lightly pat her back to soothe her.

“Then, then why did you leave?” I racked my head at how to answer her and whether to tell the truth.

“I just, just they reminded me of mom and dad too much.” I decided to tell her the truth: ”I feel sad seeing you so happy with them.” Now that I heard my reasons myself, I felt as if I was the pettiest kid on the planet. *sigh* how pitiful, Enri.

“It’s not because of Serika?” Her eyes shone with pleasant surprise at the reason then, “They also remind Serika of mommy and daddy but Serika thought that Nii-chan would be happy if Serika acted happy so…” She continued softly as she hanged her small head again.

Huh? Then it was a misunderstanding then?

“Don’t leave Serika again, okay? Nii-chan?” As I was lost in thought for the Nth time, Serika once again lifted her head and implored with upturned eyes.

“Sure, Nii-chan promise.” We held out our pinkies for the promise that we thought would last our whole lives.

After that episode of heart to heart, we decided not to return to the house. We adventured outside for two weeks with the inheritance money I stole before I ran away from the house. We went to many places: the beach, the hot spring, and the library.

It was only when Shelton came looking for us with a familiar woman that we finally settled down. The person was Aunt Rei who was the nurse from the hospital back then. She offered to adopt us in place of the previous couple. I accepted, and by the end of the year, that guy Shelton was once again our permanent neighbor living with his two grandmas who also looked after us in the following years.

Serika, perhaps due to experiencing so many things, changed a lot. She turned less cheerful, less girly, and more mature. She would do house chores without being asked. Not to mention, she stopped sweetly calling me Nii-chan. As if our roles were swapped, she would look after me all the time. I felt somehow guilty so I often tried to force out girly reactions from her not caring whether she got angry. Perhaps that too became a habit, and by the time I noticed, I was teasing her all the time. I have somehow become what people call a ‘siscon’. I don’t particularly mind though because I love my little sister. She means everything to me, and I’d listen to everything she says.

She seemed to not have many friends though. Well, I admit that it was partly due to me (and Shelton) ‘filtering’ the people around her. She later introduced a girl named Mina to us as her best friend, and I was happy to see her with a good friend. Then she started hinting that Mina’s cousin, Kana was a good girl to date, so I asked her out as per her request and partly due to being tired of finding a reason to reject the endless confessions. I am amazed at the fact that Shelton who was even more popular than me (according to Serika) was able to manage the girls so well.

More than romantic feelings, Kana felt more like a means to me though she is closer than a friend.

We continued our lives with the usual teasings and fights between me and Serika. Oh and Serika found her new found passion in scarves and martial arts (how ungirly, and of course, we accompanied her). She also got into a big fight with Mina and Kana which I’m sure is due to a misunderstanding.

That was how we got into our second year and third years of middle school respectively until a certain supernatural incident occurred.

We were summoned to another world known as “Edea”. It was a fantastical world with skills and statuses. I kept the fact that I heard a voice in my head as I was being summoned a secret. The voice told me three things:

‘Welcome, Thou, Sevora’s apostle.’

‘Thou shalt be blessed with thee’s last hope.’

‘Shalt thou not regret in thou’s judgements.’

At first, I found it ridiculous that we were asked to do such dangerous things such as fighting the demon lord. What the f***k**g rights do they have to order us around after kidnapping us? I unconsciously released some sort of power with my rage only to be stopped by Shelton with a similar kind of power. I felt uncomfortable knowing I almost hurt Serika. Moreover, that guy Shelton also seemed to have received some sort of power. Unbeknownst to me, a sense of competition welled up.

After some discussion, I was wavering. My mind was telling me to refuse but there was this confidence from the new found power. Furthermore, the fact that Serika’s stats is too weak made me felt like letting her stay in the castle is infinitely safer than making her travel the unknown world. The promise of return in five years also played a part in making me agree. I am sure Shelton thought the same as me.

After we declared our decision, we were then let to settle in the castle. I was taught shadow magic, swordsmanship, and general classes (history, monsters encyclopedia, culture, geographical datas, and so on). Shelton, with the addition of light magic, shared the general classes, and swordsmanship with me as well as Chizu.Mina shared the light magic class with Shelton while Kana was with me and Chili. All of us also got elemental magic classes including Serika. Only later on, Serika got a man named Shawn Tousel to be her exclusive teacher. He was responsible for teaching her everything she needed to learn as well as alchemy. Shelton did a background check on him of course (I am not so sure how he got such detailed information but this punk is exceptional).

Aside from the fact that he came from a fallen noble family and used to be an adventurer, everything else seemed to be normal. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous when I found out that Serika (might) like him. The feeling of watching your precious baby(sister) growing up only to be stolen by others is indescribable.

Weeks pass as we continued to grow stronger until one day, news of Rosemarie being poisoned spread to me. The one who told me was the captain of the 2nd knight order, Cornell-san. He was clear about what happened as his team was assigned to investigate what happened. Being skeptical about everything, I tagged along with them in their investigation.

I was later shocked about what I learned. From the evidence in the culprit's room such as summoning circles to communicating agents, eyewitnesses to the testimony of the personal maid. Everything pointed to the fact that it was Serika who did it. She was supposedly fooled into putting poison inside Rosemarie's drinks thinking it was some sort of medication.

One part of me refused to believe it, and to believe in Serika. Another part of me accepted that Serika might have done it due to a moment's of blindness due to love. I was in turmoil internally as I was led to Prisella's office by Rosemarie's maid.

As soon as I saw how Serika was acting inside, I was convinced. Serika did love that treacherous guy. Feelings of disappointment, and rage went over my head, and I did something I regretted as soon as I snapped out of it. Yes, I slapped Serika. I felt as if my heart was clenched seeing her disheartened expression.

I felt guilty so I didn't stop her when she went back to her room. I knew it wasn't her fault for doing what she did. She was fooled into doing it. I told myself to apologize to her and have a heart to heart with her once things have settled down a bit.

The next day, I once again found time after my training to look for Serika to apologize. Oh, I don't know why but I haven't seen Shelton since yesterday's event. Things wouldn't have been so troublesome if he was here. It's times like this that I felt like Shelton isn't as much of an eyesore.

As I made my way to Serika's room, I saw a familiar silhouette walking to the small greenhouse with an unfamiliar man with long green hair.

It was pretty far but I'd recognize that backside anywhere. I ran after her without a second thought. I was a bit out of breath from running too fast, but as I got closer I saw how Serika was dressed that an unpleasant premonition welled up.

It seemed she was trying to leave the castle.

I tried to ask why she was leaving, and as I thought she was angry. I did what I thought to do and properly apologized. However, she was bent on leaving nonetheless. With no other choice, I chose to stop her by force while enduring the sadness. To think Serika was willing to abandon me for that Shawn guy.

To my surprise and unease, I fell into her trap and felt increasing drowsiness attacking me. In the midst of the smoke, I desperately walked towards her not caring about having dropped my sword. I felt like things would not be the same between us anymore were I to let her leave right now.

‘Please… Don't leave…’

‘I beg you…’

I opened mouth but barely any sound came out of it. My vision went dark as I faintly felt a pair of warm arms caught me as I fell down.