| Summer 2018 | Edens Expressway | 16 Years Old

The quiet hum of the running engine reached my ears as our family car drove across the empty highway. We planned to drive to my uncle's cottage and spend our weekend immersing ourselves into the surrounding nature. At that time, I could not comprehend how this could be enjoyable for me, and at that time, it was hell. No internet connection for a whole weekend, no phone, no laptop, how am I supposed to do my weekly dungeon run with my clan in Alliance Wars?

Loud and heated yelling exploded inside our four-seated family car.

I can't remember how the fighting started anymore, but I can remember those terrible words I said to my father.

"Maybe if you worked harder and cared about this family, we wouldn’t have to go to that shitty cottage and actually go somewhere nice."

I felt my father silently reflecting on my painful words and the intense stares from both my mother and my younger sister. As I sat there in my immediate rage, my father turned around in an angered expression and responded.

"How could you possibly know what your mother and I have to go through? You sit there all day lo..."

"Dad!"

My sister yelled out in panic. She was the first one to notice it. The bright headlights of a timber truck moving for collision towards our small vehicle. My father quickly steered the wheels away to avoid a frontal collision.

crash

The full-speed juggernaut struck our car on the side and sent us flying in multiple circular rotations. The scene was surreal as my world turned upside down, doused in the screams of my family mixed in with my own.

Then…

thump

Three dead. One survivor.

—

| Summer 2020 | Rooftop. Tall apartment building somewhere in New York | 18 Years Old

The past year has been a constant battle against physical and psychological rehabilitation. People of all sorts came to me to comfort with words like "You have to cherish your life, God saved you for a reason," or "You have to move on and build your future." All I could do was to give them a fake smile and say thank you.

But in all honesty, how can I do that? How can I live on when I killed my family? How can I keep going when every time I close my eyes, the scenes of the accident played over and over again?

When I was released from the hospital, I immediately came to the rooftop of my apartment building. It wasn't a complicated process since my father was the leader of the building committee, and we had to occasionally clean the rooftop. I guess they had to forge new keys for the roof since no one was around to return them.

Staring at the warm and beautiful sunset, I reluctantly trudged towards the edge of the building. The wind rustled through my clothing while my legs shivered from the fear of death. My brain frantically searched for any reasons left to stop me from going through with my action.

But I've made my decision. With my eyes shut, I leaped into the unknown.

splatter

—

When I opened my eyes again, there was nothing around me. Darkness consumed my every being and surrounding. I could neither feel or control my body, and my consciousness is the only part of me left in this dark empty space. Despite the absurdity of the situation, I feel comfortable and at home. No sense of anxiety or sadness creeps up on me, so the only thing left for me to do is stay idle.

Time passed as I reminisced about my past – the family I had, the great memories we created, the choices I made that led to the eventual death of all my loved ones. If only I could slap myself before that trip. Shout and scream at my stupidity and arrogance.

The scene of their death overtook the darkness surrounding me, constantly tormenting my waking hours. Like vivid nightmares being played over and over again. The screams of my family imprinted on my consciousness. I begged and cried for them to stop, but they only stared intensely at me with darkened eyes. Then everything started over again.

How many hours has it been? Days? Months? Years? I can no longer feel the passage of time. I waited for my mind to break, but the day never came. It is too late now. I am trapped in this void to rot for eternity with the memories of all my sins.

What is your name?

A loud and aggressive voice dominated my consciousness. Each of his words resonated my entire being and instilled in me a sense of sadness and regret. I desperately tried to scream out for him, but nothing can be heard. Of course. I can't answer his question. I don't have my vocal cords. I don't even have a body.

I can hear your thoughts, young one. Now answer my question.

Danny. I thought.

My name is Danny. I shouted in my mind, hoping to drown out any sense of fear and excitement left in me. Can you blame me? I haven't had any proper social interactions since I came to this empty space.

You have been blessed with the presence of Protius, Danny. You, who shared my fate. Do you seek redemption?

What is this guy going on about sharing his fate and redemption?

Insolence! Do you dare question the will of a primal god? You, the murderer of his beloved.

I finally understood what he meant. I am the reason why everyone died. Me, who was blessed with such a loving family...

I know your pain, Danny. I know your regrets. But unlike me, you’ve been offered a chance for salvation. A new life, rid of all your memories and sorrow. A new life to cherish those around you. Do you take it?

How can I take such an offer? I do not deserve a second chance. I am not worth saving. I am not allowed to forget what I've done.

Believe me, young one, I've lived with my mistakes for millennia past and seen many souls taking such an option. It envelops and torments your entire being until you are just a hollow husk. Take this chance at rebirth.

If I take this opportunity, who will I become? What is my future?

That is for me to know and for you to experience. However, it does not come without a price.

I knew it. This guy must be some kind of devil tempting me for my soul or something.

Listen before you make your judgment.

The prideful god savagely screamed into my consciousness.

If you fall to the same path of destruction in your previous life, all your memories and pain shall be returned to you. What you do after is none of my concern.

I contemplated his words for quite some time. Do I deserve a second chance? Maybe if I build a better life, when I return to this void, I'll be able to accept my peace. I will live an honourable life to redeem for my past. I wish to take your offer, Protius.

Very well, young one. May you find your peace in your next life.

A sudden brightness enveloped my entire vision. My consciousness gave way to the warmth that surrounded me. My mind faded out of existence and into the realm of dreams. How long has it been since I last slept? I don't care anymore…