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??? POV
'. . .'
'. . .What are you doing?'
'No. . .nothing really. I don't feel like doing anything.'
'. . .Is that so?'
'. . .I like it here. No one disturbs me. It's quiet.'
'. . .Is that so?'
'You know. . .I want to-'
'Stop. Don't say it.'
'. . .'
'Don't say anymore. I know.'
•__________________________________________________________•
'What should I do? Her recent behavior is showing no signs of improvement.'
The girl's daily actions were consistent and inconsistent at the same time.
Sometimes, she would spend the day just lying down in the bed, eat, and then sleep.
Then there comes a time where she would just break down crying out of nowhere.
Then there comes a time where she just stares at the window in a daze.
'Even though I'm inside this body, I still don't understand why she feels this way. There must be something missing.'
Her parents didn't visit her at all. The nurse and the doctor are all the ones who bother to visit her.
This girl would sometimes ask for some books or magazines. I guess that's the time when Naiko shows up.
She still worries me though.
She would mumble things to herself. She doesn't sleep well at night. Sometimes, she would skip sleeping for a night.
Normally, being in the hospital should make you feel healed. I didn't doubt that at the beginning, she seemed to be doing fairly well.
I wonder how long I am going to stay here.
•__________________________________________________________•
I wake up every day to see the bright sky. The warmth that I feel on my skin as soon as I open my eyes is rather comforting. I admit that a sunny sky is good, but a rainy one is much better.
I look at the sky out the window while lying down in my bed.
I closed my eyes and had a thought.
If I were the only person in the world, I would run into the flower field, lie down, and bask in the sun.
I could just imagine the lingering scent of the aster flowers.
I could hear the waterwheel nearby slowly turning, as well as the sound of the flowing river.
I opened my eyes and saw the bright sky once more.
Suddenly, tears welled up in my eyes.
It must be nice.
It was so beautiful that I reached out my hand towards it, only then did I realize that it was trembling.
I clenched my trembling hand into a fist.
I still want to.
"I still want to live. I still do."
The very moment I said it aloud. The tears started to flow and it won't stop.
"Please help. . .me. Please?"
I curled myself up.
I was trembling pitifully.
Being alone like this, I could tell.
There was something. I am submitting myself to something. It was something bad.
"Stop. . .Don't. I don't want. . ."
I could only cover myself with the blanket and embrace myself in this room.
It only lasted for a moment but it felt like hours to me.
I didn't want to lose.
This internal fight.
I didn't want to give in.
I didn't want to.
•__________________________________________________________•
'But she lost, didn't she?'
'. . .I wonder?'
'You don't know?'
'She sent me away after all.'
'Yeah, she sent me away too.'
'Only Shinsa knows what happened at that time.'
'Hmm. . .Shinsa doesn't tell us anything though.'
'She is the only one different from us. It's understandable.'
'I guess so. Hmm. . .'
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