The train ran into the night. There was something soothing in the rhythm of the noise the wheels made on the rail. They left behind Budapest a while ago and were travelling in the countryside now. The view was boring: sometimes the lights of a town showed up further away, but besides that, it was only the plain embankment around the railway and darkness beyond that.

After a few hours of travelling, a conductor in blue uniform visited their cabin to check their tickets out. He didn’t speak much English, but Sarah spoke Hungarian well. 

‘Where did you learn this?’ asked Blake after the man left. ‘I heard Hungarian is a really hard language.'

'It is,' nodded Sarah. 'It took me more than five years to get good at it and I'm still far away from fluent. I probably never will be.'  

Blake took off his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. The air was still quite warm and the train didn't have any air conditioner. Even though there was a huge window in the wall, only a small part of it opened, which wasn't nearly enough.

'I starting to think that you weren't visiting Budapest to check out the metro-system,' said Blake.

Sarah smiled but that smile wasn't really honest. 

'I can tell you, but it will trigger The Hour,' she said.

The thing called "The Hour' was another tradition of theirs. They considered each other as close friends, but they didn't get to do normal things friends usually do. They met three, maximum four times a year and spent together a few days or weeks, depending on how long the case they had to deal with took. This was the standard MAGE procedure: the agents didn't have one permanent partner, instead the agency matched them up for every case regarding their experiences and skillset. 

Because of that and the stressful nature of their job, Blake and Sarah always had a lot to catch up on. But they couldn't spend all the time talking about what happened since they last met: they had to be focused and professional, without the distraction that talking about their personal life, feelings or problems could mean. They had to leave those at home when the workday started.  

So they came up with the idea of "The Hour", a few years ago. It was basically a therapy session where both of them got exactly one hour to talk about things they needed or wanted to. One talked, the other listened and tried to help if it was possible, then they switched roles. In that way they weren't completely alone even though everything that bothered them needed to be less important than the job.

Blake took out his phone and set up a countdown for one hour. Sarah nodded. The man pushed the button and the clock started.

'I was visiting Budapest because lately I was thinking a lot about an old lover of mine,' she said. 'I even dreamed about her. Do you know how rarely my kind have dreams? Almost never. We barely even sleep.'

Blake nodded and Sarah continued.

'We used to live together, back in the '90s. That's why I know Hungarian. We met not long after the Berlin Wall was destroyed. The Soviet Army just left Hungary, they were so happy. They were weird times, remember?'

'In Europe, for sure,' answered Blake. 'I don't remember much, though: I was only a kid when all that happened. Barely even a teenager.'

'I keep forgetting how young you are,' smiled Sarah.

Blake scoffed.

'It depends on your point of view, really. Please, continue.'

'Her name was… Well, they write it differently but they pronounce it almost the same: Clara. She was a music teacher. She was bright and funny and her smile put the Sun in shame when it came to shining,' Sarah's eyes weren't seeing Blake or the cabin anymore, they were looking way back, to another time. 'Needless to say, it wasn't easy. Back in the day Hungary wasn't exactly open-minded. Given the text I got from our bosses about a MAGE agent who had beaten up a bunch of people today in a pub not far away from your hotel, I assume they still have some place for improvement,' her gaze now found Blake's dark eyes.

'I told you, it was a usual day,' shrugged Blake. 'With all the good and bad my days usually have.'  

Sarah smiled gently and shook her head. 

'I'm sorry,' she said in a sad voice. 

'It's your Hour, Sadie,' nodded Blake towards the screen of his phone. 

'True. Where were we? Right. So being a lesbian and living in a relationship in the '90s wasn't easy. Clara lost her job once: the headmaster of the school she worked at somehow came to know what she was and fired her because being homosexual around kids was "unethical and concerning". We needed to move to a new town to find her new job. Her family refused to talk to her, we've gotten attacked by strangers a few times on the streets, and don't even get me started on religion… Clara was a Christian and wanted to be a part of a church, but when she confessed that we were together, the priest asked her not to come anymore...  These things eventually ended the relationship, after five years or so. She just couldn't take it any longer. One day I came home for an empty flat and a note that read: "I am sorry, I am not strong enough".'

They crossed a bigger city now. The streets were empty, sleeping, only a few cars showed any kind of life on the road that was parallel with the railway before it took a sharp turn. They couldn't see what was on the other side: Sarah closed the drapes on the door hours ago. 

'Have you tried to talk to her? Win her back?' asked Blake.

'No, never,' Sarah shook her head. 'At first, I was too angry. It felt like a knife in the back. Then times went by, you know how things work.'

'So you are not angry anymore,' it didn't sound like a question.

'I don't think she was weak or that she didn't love me enough,' said Sarah. 'I used to, but now I think the word was simply too harsh. Not like we had an actual future together, anyway… She wanted to stay human. The Church stated back then that my kind doesn't have a soul, hence we are all going to Hell.'

'How do you go to Hell if you don't have a soul?' frowned Blake. 

'You got me there,' shrugged Sarah. 'But Clara believed in these things. She was raised to believe.'

Blake grabbed the bottle and poured the third round of pálinka to himself. He looked at the woman with his eyebrows raised and she nodded, so the man filled up her glass too. 

'Did you find her?' he asked.

'I did,' said Sarah quietly. 'She is over sixty now. She is a grandmother… She got old. Grey. A little fat, even. Her smile stayed the same though.'

'And how does that make you feel?' 

Sarah gave that some thought. She sipped her drink.

'I don't know. I was thinking about her so much lately, I thought when I'm going to see her I will feel something or realize something… I guess I convinced myself that a few old memories were a sign, something to follow.'

'But they weren't?' asked the man.

'I felt relieved,' she said suddenly, ignoring the question. 'I was happy that I never have to get old. My hair will never turn white. I will be young and pretty and strong forever. She got to live a full life with everything she ever wanted, children and family and doing meaningful things and growing old with someone she cared about and all I could feel for her was sadness. Pity. I felt so sorry for her I couldn't even talk to her, I just left before she could have spotted me. Does that make me a bad person, Cornelius?'

Blake drank up his shot, made a face then shook his head with a smile.

'No, it doesn't. It does make you a complicated person, but that's okay. Look, I cannot tell you anything about life you didn't know already. But I can remind you that "life" means something different for everyone. The fact that her choices worked out for her and yours worked out for you doesn't mean that one of you was wrong.' 

Sarah leaned back on her seat and looked out of the window, into the darkness. Of course, for her it wasn't really dark: her eyes could see much more than Blake's.

'Okay,' she said after a minute. 'That makes sense. Thanks, Cornelius. Do you want your Hour?'

'I'm fine,' he said with a smile. The woman stared at him for a long time, looking for any sign of trouble, but then she shrugged.

'Tomorrow is another day if you change your mind,' she said. 'There are still about five more hours until Prague,' she added, checking her watch. 'Get some sleep.'

Blake nodded and stretched out on his seat. He was too tall to be comfortable, but he had slept at much worse places. He learned how to switch off his brain a long time ago; it came in handy back in the day when he only had an hour or so between shifts. It didn't ward off the nightmares, though, but that's another story. Blake closed his eyes and a minute later he started to snore quietly.