I woke up the next day at almost noon because of how late I got in last night. Realizing that most of my day was lost I decided to get something to eat then come home and check out those sites Ciara told me to check out since I wasn’t doing anything anyway. After having a simple sandwich I began to feel more awake and almost like an actual person so I sat down at my computer desk and began to look at those sites. The first site was pretty simple and explained some basic things about trans people and terminology. I was shocked by just how little I actually knew about trans people but I was also somewhat confused about how some of these meant a person was trans. For example it said that one sign someone might be trans is that they have often wondered about what it would be like to be a girl but doesn’t everyone wonder that? It also said about how dysphoria can appear to be just general feelings of depression or anxiety, and even I felt these sorts of things.
After looking at that website for awhile I decided I should move on to the next one so that I would hopefully be less confused. This one was a somewhat lengthy twitter thread talking about how this person never realized that what they were feeling was gender dysphoria. If the previous site was confusing this was even more so and I was starting to almost feel like Ciara was messing with me somehow. Everything in this thread felt targeted at specifically me but that didn’t make any sense because there was no way that I could ever be trans even if I related to every single example in this thread. I mean I’m just normal and I never knew I was trans from a young age so I couldn’t be, but after reading these two resources it seems like that isn’t as much of a requirement as I thought it was.
Dreading it somewhat I went to check out the final site which was a meme subreddit called egg_irl. The first thing I noticed was that a lot of the memes were talking about some sort of button but they weren’t actually saying what it did. I managed to figure out that said button was one that would permanently turn you into the opposite sex if you pressed it, but of course I would press it. I mean who doesn’t want to be a girl after all? I spent the next couple hours reading memes there and found them all quite relatable which only served to confuse me further. I couldn’t be trans, I just couldn’t, I wasn’t outspoken or ostentatious like all the lgbt people I saw on tv at pride parades and stuff, I was just some nerdy guy. I knew however that I desperately needed to talk to Ciara. I only knew that she sometimes went to the card shop and that she hadn’t been there in a while before last night, but I guess that just going again next friday was my best shot at seeing her again.
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That week felt like the slowest one of my entire life but it was finally Friday, I finally had the chance to see Ciara again. I signed up much the same as last week and I sat down to wait while keeping my eyes on the door. After a little while Andrew showed up and waved to me then came and sat down next to me. I hoped that he didn’t notice how nervous I was or how intently I was staring at the door. It must have been pretty obvious though because he decided to speak up just as I was thinking of what exactly I would say to Ciara.
“Hey man are you alright? You look kinda on edge.”
“Yeah I’m fine, just keeping an eye out for Ciara.” I replied, turning my gaze back toward the door.
“Damn it really went that bad huh? Well if it did you shouldn’t have to worry about it since you probably scared her off.”
“No it actually went really well after I explained myself a bit.”
“Oh! That’s great then, I’m glad and kinda surprised that you two were able to work it out.” Andrew said and then proceeded to start looking at his phone.
Not long after that Ciara showed up and I immediately went over to talk to her.
“Hey Ciara, glad to see you here again.”
“Hey Danny, I was actually originally not going to come this week but I thought that you’d probably want to talk about those sites that I gave you last week.”
“Yeah I’d actually really like to talk if that’s alright. Did you wanna talk now or after the matches?”
“How about we go and get something to eat after the tournament tonight and we can talk there?” She said and a blush started to creep into her cheeks. “N-Not that it’s a date or anything like that.”
“Ok that sounds good, I’ll meet you at whatever place you want to go to, I don’t actually know this area all that well.” I answered, glad that everything seemed to go well.
That night I managed to do pretty well in the draft portion but I ended up going one and two in my actual matches. I knew I still had a lot to learn about this draft format but it still felt somewhat demoralizing to not be doing well. After the matches Ciara and I decided to just go to a burger place by the card shop that was open 24 hours. As I was driving toward the restaurant I tried to think of exactly how I wanted to say what was on my mind but I was too nervous to actually come up with a concrete plan. I did know however that whatever happened in there I was going to get some answers.
Loving where this is going ^^
Oh my gosh Ciara is so sweet!
Awwwww this poor egg
After the matches Ciara and I decided to just go to a burger place by the card shop that was open 24 hours.
Ah yes... post tournament Denny's, a tradition for the ages.
Yep... myself in another life... not quite the same but very, VERY close to it
well I like the story so far let's see how it will continue