SAWYER | EMERSON 

❝ Call me mama odie ❞

⚘

"Thank you for calling Charlie's Books, where you request and we fulfill, this is Sawyer speaking how can I help you?"

"Knock Knock?"

"No, we're not doing this"

"Knock Knock?"

"Absolutely not, just order a damn book already"

"Geez Sawyer, you're no fun"

"Is that supposed to hurt me?"

"Tough cookie I see"

"So which book?"

"Your book"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Give me your handbook so I can know which Sawyer to expect when I call"

"...."

"like will I be talking to a sarcastic sawyer or will I be talking to a bitchy one, the world will never know"

"Did you just call me a-"

"No, I said bitchy"

"That's literally the same thing"

"I'll order the Sawyer handbook 101"

"What do you want from me?"

"A friend maybe?"

"What if I don't want to be your friend?"

"Then I'll be hurt"

"And I'll care because" 

"....you really know how to dismiss one's feelings huh?"

"I've been told yes"

"You got a boyfriend Sawyer?"

"Cute how you assume I'm straight"

"So you're..."

"Uh-huh keep going"

"If you're not straight then you're...."

"Oh for Pete's sake I like girls"

"Touché" 

"Wait but I thought you said..."

"I do, well I had we broke up"

"Why?"

"Not really my style" 

"What does that even mean?"

"Are you a blonde?"

"No why?"

"No reason, anyway I just wasn't feeling him anymore or any guy really."

"Men are trash"

"Exactly why I'm moving forward in life" 

"You could do better"

"How would you know"

"I have a gut feeling"

"What are you a psychic now?"

"Call me mama odie"

"Hahaha you're so funny"

"....."

"Did you pick up on the sarcasm?"

dial tone

?

I am on a roll lmao