Stepping Up, Chapter 47
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Tibs moaned as he bit into the fried potatoes and the meat’s juices within it poured into his mouth. He couldn’t believe how good this was.

“You have to try this,” he told Jackal, who watched him, shaking his head sadly. “This is really worth a silver.”

“If Kro heard you say that, Tibs, his heart would break.” Like everyone around him, Jackal had shadows within in. Secrets, Tibs figured. He had many and of varying density. He wasn’t sure what that represented. How important they were?

“Not if he tried this,” Tibs replied. He didn’t know how he did this. It was more like with how he sensed his essence in people. He could actively stop, but he didn’t need to be using the essence for it to happen.

He’d had a broth at the inn once they’d returned. He’d wanted a full meal, but Carina had said no. She’d said that when they came back from their audience, the clerics always only ate broth for a day or two so they could get used to food again. She must have told that to Kroseph, because this morning, he would only serve him broth, again.

Fortunately, she was busy with her training right now, so Tibs headed for another booth as he ate the fried potato and meat.

He had a tankard of a sweet ale, then a pastry that was so sweet it hurt his teeth. He still ate it, but decided he wasn’t having that again. He had roasted meats sliced so thin light shone through when he raised it against the sun, meat in cubes wrapped in sour leaves, fruits dried in salt, or sugar, or marinated in wine, and even some in vinegar, those were surprisingly tasty.

“Slow down,” Jackal said. “You’re going to spend all your coins this way if you don’t make yourself sick first.”

Tibs shrugged, placing coppers on a counter in exchange for fried balls of sweet dough. There were enough people around no one would miss a copper here and there. Or if they did, they’d think they’d spent it without noticing.

The merchants in the bazaar were good at extracting more coins than those buying from them intended.

“What do you think is Darkness’s echo?” he asked the fighter, offering him one of the balls.

He looked around as if Kroseph might catch him enjoying someone else’s food and bit into it. “Clerics, I’d guess.”

Tibs shook his head. He’d considered that. “But it’s just Khumdar.”

“There have to be others. The world’s too big for Purity to be able to hold sway over all of it. Even the Guild doesn’t control it entirely, and there’s a lot more of them than there are Purity’s clerics.”

But Darkness had implied Tibs could locate them, and that there was more than one. “Okay, but if it isn’t clerics, what could it be?”

Jackal shrugged. Popping the rest of the ball in his mouth. “Anything dark, I guess.” He chewed and swallowed. “These are just okay. I’m sure Kro could make better ones if he tried.”

“I’d eat all of them,” Tibs agreed. He’d eat everything he could find from now on. He was not going hungry ever again unless he had no other choice. “And it can’t just be something dark.” He stepped around a noble. “His robe’s dark, but that doesn’t make it an echo.” He ran to a booth selling candies and place his new coin on it, it was silver. “Do you have Sea Drops?” he asked.

“Never heard of them,” the thin merchant answered.

“They’re sweet and salty, hard, but when they melt in your mouth, it’s like the foam on the shore looks like.”

“Sorry, kid, that doesn’t sound like anything I have.”

“Something sour and sweet then. It’s orange, and I prefer the chewy kind.”

“You know what you like.” The man smiled and pulled a box from shelves of them at the back of the booth. Tibs wondered what other candies were in them. Maybe he should come by during the night and see. Claria was still weak, and Torus hadn’t returned. It would give him a lot of darkness to hide in, even with torches and lanterns hanging everywhere.

He loved how weak light was in those times.

“Kid?” the merchant called. “Are these what you want?”

Light was weak in the night.

He looked up. The sun was still hours away from its zenith. Was that when it was the strongest? Only, Darkness hadn’t said when Light was strong, but when his echoes were at their weakest. Did one mean the other?

He still hadn’t worked out what the echoes were, though. Until he did, he wouldn’t know.

“Tibs,” Jackal said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe you’ve eaten enough.”

“I’ll take them,” he hurried to say.

“How many?”

“A silver’s worth.”

The merchant raised an eyebrow, then scooped candies out and put them on the counter before taking the silver coin. Tibs grabbed them and walked away.

What were Darkness’ echoes?

“You didn’t even haggle this time,” Jackal complained. “You could have gotten more for that silver.”

Tibs shrugged and popped a candy in his mouth and fought not to spit it out. That was far sourer than he’s expected or had tasted before in a candy.

“Now I’m thinking he passed you the stuff he can’t sell since you weren’t actually paying attention.”

“It’s not that bad,” he answered and fought not to make a face. Was there any sweetness in there?

“And I thought I was a horrible liar.”

* * * * *

Tibs walked the roofs.

It wasn’t his usual time; the sun being up, but he’d needed to ponder Darkness’ riddle, and he always thought better when he walked the roofs. Light and Darkness. One saw lies, the other sought secrets. They weren’t exactly opposites in what they did, but around him, they didn’t mesh well. Darkness got stronger when the light was weak, and weaker when there was more light.

He cursed as the realization hit at the same time as his foot slipped off the roof’s peak, then he was stepping on ice to avoid falling and looking up, shielding his eyes. The sun was high, but how did he know if it was at its zenith?

He’d know because it would be when there were the least amount of shadows cast by objects.

Shadows, they were Darkness’s echoes. And the zenith was the right time. All he had to do was look directly at Light and he could have his audience. He looked around for a shadow and didn’t see any, not even the chimney cast one. He stepped back on the roof, absorbing the essence, and walked around it. The sliver there was so thin it might be in his imagination.

He had it.

He knew how to go about having his audience.

Now all he had to do was go hungry again.

He cursed. He’d only gotten to enjoy food for one day. It wasn’t fair that he had to give it up again.

He glared at the sun. “When I see you, we’re going to talk about this need for me to go hungry all the time.”

“I don’t force you to do anything,” a man said, and Tibs spun, then looked down to make sure he wasn’t about to lose his footing. The roof was gone. The town was gone. All was light.

He looked at the form he could just make out. “Harry?”

“No, I’m not Harry.” The form sounded a lot like the guard leader.

“You’re Light. How is it possible? I didn’t do the strong emotion thing.”

“And who told you such is the only way to reach me?”

Tibs shrugged. Light already knew, since it knew what was in his mind. It seemed that Ganny didn’t know as much as she thought about how to get an audience. He shouldn’t be surprised, if she was as young as he figured she was.

“Much has been lost,” Light said. “Much has been… distorted.”

“Then how do I do it?”

“You do it the way that works.”

“That’s not helpful.”

“Did you come seeking me for help?”

“No,” Tibs admitted and looked at the form he was certain looked more like Harry than before. “Now you look like him.”

“I am what you make of me.”

“So that isn’t because you like him? Khumdar said he was almost like a cleric in how he worked for you.”

“Like is a term of the living. It is not something I, nor my brethren, have. He is but one of many who had his audience and who I accepted.”

“Then why does he act like you’re everything to him? My teacher says that the elements influence how we think.”

“Maybe believing some of his choices are taken away provides him with comfort. The living are interesting in different ways. Like you, putting yourself through so much, and for what?”

“Water said I need to do this.”

“No, Child of Humans, Water did not. Don’t let falsehood cloud your sight. You will find that it is a poor way to be when you desire to wield me. I do not take away the choices when you are in the living, but you are with me, and here, I have my rules. You will obey them.”

Tibs nodded. “Sorry.” What had Water said? “I need to get the audiences if I want the rest.” He looked at Light and tried to make out the shadow, but while the shape was like Harry, that was all it was, a shape of light within more light.

“Why do you want it? Why do you put yourself through this for it?”

“To—” The words caught in his throat as if a block had appeared there to stop them.

“No lies, Child of Humans.”

“I—” again the protest was prevented from leaving his throat. Light watched him in what Tibs thought was amusement.

Tibs ordered his thoughts. “I want the power to avenge Mama,” he said, then hurried to add. “But also to protect my friends.”

“Yes. Humans, more than most of the living, are complex in their motivations. It’s what makes you so interesting.”

“You don’t mind that I’m going to hurt people?” Tibs expected someone about truth and rules to be against him doing anything bad with what they gave him.

“What you do with what I grant is up to you. You will be the one to endure the consequences of your actions. But you, Child of Humans, need to bear in mind that you are not like most. You have taken on far greater responsibilities. You will not bear my essence only, but that of all of us. That will exact a price on you. Multiple, in fact.”

“I’m okay with that.” Water had implied as much.

The chuckle didn’t come from the form, but all around him. “Only because you don’t know what it will be.”

“Are you going to tell me?”

“No. It isn’t our place to tell you that. It’s something for you to discover, should you survive that long.”

Tibs waited for them to say more, focusing on the form, trying to make out the shadow among all this light.

“Can’t you just give it to me?” he asked when he still didn’t make anything out after a few minutes.

“That isn’t how I work, how any of us should work.” Tibs looked up at the reproach in the word. “But not all of us do things how they should be done. We are much like those outside in that way.”

Tibs rubbed his face. “This is going to take a while, then. I can barely make you out. I definitely can’t see anything. How do you expect me to find it like this?”

“You can see,” Light said. “You simply refuse to look. You believe you know the truth of what I am, and that limits you.”

“Then how about you tell me how I’m wrong? That would be helpful.”

“It is, but only if you understand it.”

Tibs glared at the form. “Do you all enjoy being obtuse?” He paused and frowned at the word. Where had he learned it? It sounded like one Alistair or Carina would know. Had either explained it to him?

“It seems confusing,” Light said while Tibs was silent, “because you are limiting your understanding.”

Tibs closed his eyes, but Light poured through his eyelid. What did he know? What was he certain of? “The shadow is inside you.”

“That is correct.”

Tibs looked at the form, stared at it hard enough spots formed at the edge of his vision. With an exasperated cry, he threw his arms up. “I can’t see it. You’re so cursed bright I can’t see anything but those damned spots.”

Light watched him impassively.

Tibs kept himself from screaming at Light. It wouldn’t care, and he wouldn’t be able to think. What did he know? What was he certain of? He’d gotten the shadows from the others through trickery. No, more taking advantage of the situation that had presented itself. Fire and Corruption were the exceptions. Fire because Tibs was dying, and they were too eager to see what he’d do with it and Corruption for… he hadn’t worked out that part. It said because they were friends, but could he trust that?

Two out of six he hadn’t tricked. Light said they each had their reasons for doing what they did. Just like Air hadn’t simply wanted to test him, or give him the shadow, she’d wanted to play. He chuckled, and she’d been winning until he worked out how to control his fall and surprised her…

She’d said something.

Tibs looked around. Light was everywhere, everything. Except for those spots he was still seeing.

Light was everything.

He groaned. “All of this is you.” Abyss, he’d tricked himself, again. When was he going to stop ignoring what he’d already been told?

If he was inside Light, he couldn’t only look at the form to find the shadow. It could be anywhere.

He looked around, and almost missed it because it was only one spot among all those he saw. Only this one didn’t move with the others.

Light had been right. He’d seen it. He just hadn’t been looking.

He grabbed it, and the shadow melded into him, a new reserve pushing itself between air and corruption.

“Well done.”

Was that pride in their voice?

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