Chapter 199: A Run

Though I doubted the idea based on the determined almost agitated expression she carried upon her face. Maybe every time she swung she was thinking of slicing me. I couldn’t tell, but I was glad to see her continue, even though I was the one who wanted her to train and was probably the only reason she saw it as interesting.

Maybe the only reason I tried persuading her into training was so that I could get closer to her. Every thought that flew around in my mind hurt.

I walked slowly around the greenhouses. Not being seen or heard was my objective.

I made it onto the main path back to the manor. It led in front of the greenhouses and next to the garden.

Emelia: “Sir Val.?”

Sh*t. Why is it that the one time I drink everything goes wrong for me? I stood maybe thirty paces away from her. I didn’t turn to her. From an outsider's perspective, she had her hand on the greenhouse corner. It wasn’t for support like I did when I was drunk. She looked as though she just popped herself from the side. She looked at my back, I couldn’t truly see her stance or face. I could feel her eyes look at my back, probably with an inquisitive expression.

I didn’t respond to her or even look back. I just started running. For the first time in my life, I felt embarrassment of this level. I felt weak and immature, well actually Emelia summed me up last night quite well. I felt and believed I was a coward. A coward who didn’t dare to just acknowledge her existence, a simple turn of the head or maybe a single word could have been enough. All I did was run away from her. I couldn’t bear to face her. I didn’t know what to say, I felt lost. I doubt if I did turn to her a I’d be much of a sight. My head was killing me. A grown man like me running from a young girl, probably making her cry again, all because of my incompetence.

Maybe if it wasn’t that perticular moment. Maybe if I didn’t drink so much last night. Maybe I’d run in any situation that was presented. I honestly didn’t know. The pain in my head hurt, but the pain in my chest, why did it hurt more?

———-

I didn’t have a follower when I got to the manor. Emelia must have stayed behind, which I was glad to see.

I hurried inside, making a break for my room without having to face anyone.

Lucky for me no one was around, and I made it to my room. The headache still resided and as I took my clothes off and walked to the bathroom, it started to lesson. I plopped down in the tub, I don’t think I could have stood, and turned the water on. I sank even lower into the bowl and closed my eyes. The water sounded like those waves last night, loud at first but slowly thinning to the point where it became just background noise to my heartbeat.

I sat in the hot water, my sore body and aching mind floated as if in a large ocean. I opened my eyes to the white ceiling, narrowing down to the fine textures underneath the paint.

I felt horrible sitting there. My thumb and index fingers rubbed my temple as my middle finger ran under my eyes toward my nose. I sighed and grasped a washcloth.

———

To be continued