Suddenly the pain in her head exploded leaving Daiyu stunned as the time around her seemed to freeze. Her eyes dulled over as she was sucked into the recollections of her past life, and scenes of the past seemed to jump out alarmingly at her.
A boy was running through a lush bamboo forest with a girl whose hand was tightly grasped by him. His face held great excitement while the girl lowered her blushing face.
Under a full moon's soft glow, a girl watched lovingly as a boy nodded to sleep on her lap. Her hand gently stroke the top of his hair. Little gestures of affections the boy in her lap never noticed.
Memories after memories proceeded to flow into her head and Daiyu's body faltered backward, overwhelmed by the sudden rush of information.
The scene changed, and now the same girl was imploring this time, on her knees with her knuckles covered in blood. Her loud cries seemed to echo painfully in the night.
Her bloodied tears that trickled to the ground along with all her wishes that were long dead before her eyes.
A quiet night, a girl with a pale hand that held no love for herself as she performed an aim at her chest with a stem of a broken jar.
A figure that laid in a silent slumber within the surface of death with a gentle smile.
These memories weren't new, and Daiyu had already long recovered them the day she woke up reborn. It was just that she never paid any mind to it as the memories tasted dull and didn't seem necessary. Now that they danced out again, Daiyu paid more attention.
Who was she, that girl in the memories?
Daiyu found herself confused as her eyes remained clouded. She could understand the girl was her yet it also didn't resemble her. Her hand drifted upwards to move over her chest.
No. Who is she, this person in this life?
What effect the memories should and once had was no longer there which rendered Daiyu's mind perturbed.
The girl in her recollections was her.
That much was clear.
However, why would she die for someone? This question rang in her head.
But how would a person without a heart ever recognize the painstaking efforts of a person chained by the strings of love?
So soon Daiyu found herself perplexed. Her once intense and profound feelings that she couldn't part in her life was no longer here in this life, so there was nothing.
No hatred.
No love.
The memories only felt broken to her, it held no more significant meaning. It was like watching a play.
A dull one at that.
The old her lived and died for this Guiren.
Daiyu frowned, her fingers twitched.
Why?
Why.
Her calm heartbeat was almost mocking her.
The odd feeling she always thought she wasn't right.
A missing piece.
She no longer had a heart.
So that's what it was. An unusual smile seemed to illuminate her face. Wasn't this a blessing? She was no longer confined by her emotions.
She was free.
But, why was he here? Her eyes flickered to his face.
According to her memories, Guiren wasn't supposed to be here at this time. He shouldn't have even known her name. He was still in the outer courts, hidden within the crowd.
Did he, get reborn as well?
It didn't matter now.
To have a life without a chain holding her down, Daiyu wanted to live — to erase all regrets and be without regrets. Cutting all ties meant she was no longer obliged to love him nor did she have the ability to. Nonetheless, even without her emotions to cause her downfall, Daiyu still saw Guiren as a threat.
With a wide swing of her long sleeves, she flung his trembling hand away from her arm. Gently patting her garments, she looked strangely at him.
"Do I know you?"
Do I know you? Her words seemed to cut coldly into his heart, and Guiren faltered. Right. She didn't. At least, not yet. However, he could not wait. The days of hoping to see her. The hours of looking forward to seeing her. His heart was in turmoil. Yet now, she remembered nothing. What was he to say?
He withdrew his hand and looked down meekly, "I just-"
"Shifu. I shall take my leave now," Without another word, she left the courtyard. Although surprised, her master didn't stop her. Perhaps the child was distressed by all of this.
The selecting day continued, but Guiren refused to follow anyone else. How did he miss his most crucial chance? What did he say wrong? He felt his eyes prickling, but he held in his tears. When the selection ended, he continued to stand, numb in the same spot Daiyu left him in. His body seemed to sway uncontrollably.
A small figure passed before him, and it seemed to awaken Guiren from his state of mind.
"Stop for me."
The figure in front of him stopped as Guiren demanded, but it still angered Guiren. Who was he? Why did Daiyu pick him? Guiren grabbed the collar of the other boy, so they looked at each other face to face.
Guiren studied him, his heart bitter.
for some reason ive always wanted an mc that so broken that they started not caring, like they become cold and ovbiously its not the ideal way of living, but i feel like even if its sad, they can still find little happiness in like scenery, (on top of a mountain) hmm this is nice (lightly smiles) liek you know
i dont knw what im taliking about but hahah, i feel like the mc in this story is the closest ill ever get, mc has no heart haha how colder can u get
and oh the guy guiren can suffer with his one sidedlove watching the mc do her own s**t not giving an f about him haha
ps. mc on the novel mei gongqing is kinda like that towards the later part which is why i like it
Oooooh I kinda had the same idea. There's a scene something like that later. I thought some people might find it boring but I'll go add more detail for you♡
really, ive always found simple happiness peaceful and calming and sorta melancholy cause, theyve already gone through so much that for me those moments is sorta like a haven for them, thankyou author sama!!
I've always associated the term 'unrequited love' to unfulfilled feelings for someone you had a crush on. At least, that was how it was in my own experience. Reading this though, the term could still apply to situation, but it's nowhere near close to just loving from afar. She actually cared for him and all that. That's how I realized that what I want is not someone who loves me, but someone who actually cares about me. So what if someone loves you but cares more about the sect? Thanks for the chapter.
I love the concept of this! Keep going please! I love the broken to the point of not caring mc. It gives her character depth and a strong kind of vulnerability. Not like those doormat MCs that stay doormatting throughout the entire story -_- I appreciate this and I do hope it goes on for a while before she starts realizing feelings. ML needs to suffer for a while.
Why does e have to be ML? He can also be rival. I would lie him as a rival. It'll shall be torture for him. Which is what he deserves but then again, he can be the ML. But! I'm just saying, it'll be nice if he's the rival
Wahhhh rivalry? hmmm Maybe, maybe not. shocks I need more chapters. Cliffhangers are killing me.
Thanks for the chapter. I'll be looking forward for the next one.
This is so not the end of the suffering.
Thanks for the chapter.
Damm
Why does she feel threaten by Guiren? I thought in her previous life all she felt for him was love. So now that she feels nothing for him, why is there a feeling of threat?