WT 17 - Impossible to be together in this lifetime

 

“I merely acted so as a concerned elder.”

 

His words were the truth. There was no hint from him of having any improper affection towards the younger woman by more than ten years’ age difference.

 

The sudden question and the answer that came right after without a pause took Wan Ting by surprise that she does not have time or preparation to hide her honest reaction. The pain was like a spilled ink splashed vividly on her face and the shaking pupils that were filled with echoes of screams belonged to a heartbroken young woman…

 

… All of it was seen by Heng Zhen Gan. In the end, his doubt ended up being true.

 

Heng Zhen Gan wanted to say something to carefully dissuade the younger woman, but he did not know that his expression had already told her his honest opinion. His face had lost his previous approachability and it became so cold, indifferent, like a stranger that asked the other party to not get close to him.

 

Wan Ting’s heart clenched in dread from seeing that expression that she had never known could hurt her this much. This was actually one of the situations that could predictably happen if she confessed her feelings to him, and she should have already been prepared for it.

 

But she could not prepare her heart for this moment.

 

She never thought she needed to because she had planned to hide her feelings from him as long as she could until she could finally make up her mind on what to do with her feelings. She had not expected her feelings to be discovered this easily, this unexpectedly, and this heartbreakingly. Prince Heng truly had no such feelings towards her at all, and now he was disgusted with her. 

 

The knocks on the door broke into the tense atmosphere. “Teacher, I’m sorry to interrupt, but the magistrate officer is getting impatient. Should I ask for a reschedule?”

 

Feeling as if she was finally freed from the iciness that spread through her veins, she shook off the numbness and stood up with great effort. “No, I’m coming now.”

 

Wan Ting did not look back and quickly rushed out. She did not know how her face looked like now, but it worked well in shutting up Sir Liu Bing, who silently led her to where the officer was waiting for her. Bao Hai stared at Prince Heng with a final glance before hurriedly chased after Wan Ting.

 

Facing the earnest-looking officer with full concentration, Wan Ting spoke out anything she recalled about last night’s event, no matter how small that thing was. Surprisingly, Bao Hai was a good artist and took over in drawing all the faces he remembered seeing during his captivity. His drawing hand was steady, but his lips were tightly pursed, showing his revulsion towards those people he drew. 

 

The officials finished taking their statement and Wan Ting also decided to leave as well, feeling as if she had gone through a whole day of intense pill forging. But Prince Heng stopped her by inviting them for dinner. 

 

"Prince Heng is too kind, but my parents are waiting for us to have a meal together." Wan Ting could not muster a polite smile. The best she could do was having an expressionless face to avoid any negative emotions from leaking onto her face.

 

Yet, Prince Heng continued to persist. "I have already informed Mister and Madam Wan that I will send you back after the night meal."

 

Her head feels floaty as she broods over what he wanted to do. If he does not intend to return her feelings, why does he still entertain her? She had heard from others how unfriendly and indifferent he was towards those who had expressed their feelings for him.

 

And she could not forget that cold expression on his face earlier.

 

But that expression could not be seen on his face currently, not even a hint of it, and it made her wary. Wan Ting's mood immediately pummelled like a diving bird at the unknown danger, wanting to escape from this place as quickly as possible.

 

It was only logical for Prince Heng to immediately send her out of his residence and told her to throw her improper thoughts away! Or was he hoping to use this chance to educate her and change her mind? The latter was extremely humiliating!

 

"No need to trouble Prince Heng." Wan Ting could finally form a smile, but it looked unnatural. "I will be eating a light meal on my way back."

 

"That won't do. With the kidnapper on loose, you and Bao Hai should reduce going out frequently. I had the kitchen already prepare your portion, so please stay, Miss Wan."

 

Wan Ting's depressed mood felt even heavier. "As an unmarried woman, I should maintain a proper distance from Prince Heng and Sir Liu Bing. I would have to decline your invitation respectfully."

 

This was the third time she refused and any sensible gentleman should let the matter go long ago. Even Liu Bing thought his teacher was overly polite and insistent on offering a meal thrice.

 

But Prince Heng refused to let the matter go. "With our servants around, there is nothing that will cause any reputation-damaging event to happen. No one here will speak anything that did not happen to outsiders. If there are still improper rumors appearing, I will speak out and clarify to ensure that your reputation would remain unblemished."

 

Wan Ting's eyes shook as she struggled with her decision. After a while, she sighed. "Since Prince Heng is putting so much effort, I would be deemed ungrateful for continuing to reject Your Excellency’s goodwill.”

 

Prince Heng’s smile was polite as he escorted her to the dining room. 

 

Liu Bing's expression changed slightly, his eyes widened with clarity. Was his teacher trying to give him and Miss Wan a chance to develop feelings? But from Miss Wan's reaction, she does not seem to like the idea of staying here any longer. Surely his teacher had also noticed Miss Wan's discomfort? Was his teacher that eager to have him married off?

 

Surprisingly, Miss Wan seemingly regained her usual vigor and took a seat beside Prince Heng, which was rather too close in the large round table. But Prince Heng was unruffled, without a hint of being mindful that Miss Wan chose to sit beside him, and acted as a good host as he introduced dishes to her.

 

Liu Bing eyed his teacher with confusion, unable to decipher what his teacher was trying to do. The served dishes were not out of the ordinary that he had to introduce every one of them to Miss Wan.

 

As the meal continued on, even Liu Bing became as uncomfortable as Wan Ting, who struggled to maintain her usual expression. The only one that had a good appetite was Bao Hai, who was allowed to dine with them. He will only be recognized as Wan Ting's maidservant after discussing with Mister and Madam Wan, so today he was still a guest. 

 

Unable to continue enduring the awkward situation, after finishing his bowl of rice, Liu Bing quickly excused himself, claiming he still had unfinished business and sprinted away.

 

Without his student in the room, Prince Heng told the servants to step out and Wan Ting knew the real matter was about to come. She placed down her chopstick with a sharp sound, her back straight, and prepared for any rebuke. Bao Hai deemed this was not his business and went out to wait with his bowl full of dishes.

 

"Prince Heng, what do you mean by doing this?" Wan Ting straightforwardly asked. This matter should be cleared quickly, not allowing misunderstanding to fester on her wound.

 

"Coincidentally, I have thoughts of matchmaking you with Liu Bing."

 

Wan Ting gritted her teeth behind her closed mouth. “I’m flattered, but I’m unable to feel the enthusiasm towards Sir Liu Bing.”

 

“Liu Bing suits you better than I.” Prince Heng had always believed that if she falls in love again, someone like Liu Bing should be the first one for her to direct her feelings to and not someone of the older generation like him. 

 

Wan Ting took a deep breath to calm down her boiling irritation. "Prince Heng, I'm filled with endless gratitude for your help that you've given under the Third Prince's instruction. You could have stopped protecting my family after Long Shan's matter was settled, but you didn't. Did you do it because you want to match Sir Liu Bing with me?"

 

"That is the least reason for lending my guard to you. Empress Dowager had also told me she was saved by you and spoke highly of your character. You had declined any form of reward from her and I offered to help out by lending you some guards as protection. After last night's accident, I'm glad I had not pulled back the order to protect you."

 

Wan Ting laughed humorlessly, staring straight at Prince Heng with wounded eyes. She no longer cares how she looked in his eyes because she had already shown her vulnerable side to him. What could be worse than that? "Why don't you directly say you choose to protect me because of her? But you need not do it, because she had already repaid me by giving me the title of the lowest rank princess."

 

It was a bitter and painful pill to swallow that the one she loves was trying to match her with someone. It made her even more resistant to Sir Liu Bing. But when the truth of his kindness was done for the sake of another woman, it was like her heart was thrown to the ground and scrubbed over the rough, uneven surface repeatedly. The cuts on her heart deepened and widened as the attacks were mercilessly hurled at her without any intention of stopping.

 

Facing Wan Ting’s crazy and pained eyes, Heng Zhen Gan calmly contradicted, "If it was Liu Bing that saved you instead of me, the one you would have fallen for will be him."

 

Not denying her accusation was his way of indirectly admitting that he still loved the Empress Dowager, even if it was impossible for them to be together. As a respected Prime Minister, he will not do anything to steal her away, for divorce was a taboo and a shameful matter, which the society scorned. He should also have understood that the Empress Dowager could never return his feelings because she only has her heart for the 20th Emperor.

 

Yet why did he still pine for this dead branch?

 

For a moment, Wan Ting hated the selfish Empress Dowager for chaining Prince Heng's heart when she could have handed out the key to release him.

 

"Maybe." Wan Ting smiled dryly. "But you are the one that saved me and the one that made me fall in love. Sir Liu Bing and I are impossible to be together in this lifetime."