Debbie was already seated at a 2 person table when I arrived at “Kathy's Cafe” - a tall glass with 3 layers of juice was in front of her.

He used to do that, too, and I never figured out how it worked. Something to do with the density of each juice, sure, that is basic physics.

But how does one pour it in so it stays separate?

I tried it a few times in secret…

AND FAILED!

Sigh.

Debbie waved at me as I entered the shop.

“Hiya! The menu looks delicious - so hard to choose!”

“Hey Debbie… yeah, I had the S&P Tofu with saag paneer yesterday - sounds sort of weird, but the combo was just yummy.”

“Ooo I’m going to have that!”

“Well, I’ll be trying something new…”

I grabbed a menu as I sat down.

Let’s see….

“Braised lentils? How does that work? On a bed of lightly buttered ancient grains, served with seasonal salamander broiled veggies, and a side of salted ginger and a lemon slice.”

“Seems a bit heavy on the fibre.” Debbie pointed out.

“Yeessss… but the veggies would counter my naughty junk food breakfast, so I think I’ll go with that.”

“Oh? You ate junk food? Hehe, I guess when the cat is gone…”

“Well… yes. But Debbie, that was that, and this is this, so let’s not dwell on the past, if you don’t mind?”

“Oh… right… I’m sorry…”

We ordered and chatted away a bit about nonsensical things.

The food arrived before we knew it, and we both ate silently - to talk in front of such good food would be sin, we both felt.

“Desert?” asked the teen server from yesterday.

“Espresso for both of us, please” Debbie stated.

It was our staple for years.

The coffee came, with a side glass of water, and a biscotti, just like I imaged you’d get anywhere in Italy.

“So… your new job. What’s it about?”

“Oh right, I did mention that! Well, you’d never believe it, but I am working for an up and coming game company - an MMORPG game company, even! They started about two years ago and they are already ready to launch their first game!”

“Eh, well, startups are risky… you didn’t throw any money at them, did you?”

“No - seems they are well funded already. And I get a moderate salary, with contractual agreement on profit share, and all the good stuff - I am head of Marketing after all, and the better I do my job, the more money we’ll make!”

“Well, me, I’m working on being the best NEET there can be! No more rat race for me!”

“Oh? And what does a NEET do all day? Sleep and eat?”

“For now, I’m getting back into gaming... What’s this new MMORPG called? I’ll check it out…”

“I’ll do you one better - here, I’m giving away a few one time only free invites for the beta launch! If you stick with it, you’ll be granted bonus items and even a special title once we go full live! That’s what I’m actually out here for - promotion promotion promotion!”

I took the colourful plastic card.

“Lost pyramid of Balza D’Uhm? Cheesy, heh…”

“Well, MMORPG titles are a dime a dozen, and we had to choose a name that can be uniquely searched and not give back any unrelated results.”

“So… what’s the premise?”
“ADVENTURE! Oh in and around the said pyramid. It’s bigger on the inside, like a certain phone booth we both love. Obviously, computers can do that easily, hehe….”

“So... if it is still beta, will I lose my character once it goes live?”

“Nope, but you will get a chance to adjust things at the time, if you want. Because there might be features that only end up being pushed at go-live. We aren’t sure yet, depending on how well we survive the beta test… the code seems to be already pretty solid, so…”

“Well, I’ll give it a try, just for you…”

“Cool, and there is a built in bug reporter, so if you don’t mind?”

“Un… just like the old days, huh?”

“Well, I’ve got a ton of people to still see today, and spread the news for the game, so… TTYL?”

“Sure, call me anytime… you do that anyway, heh.”

With that Debbie and I went our ways - and I stopped by a store again to grab something really important I forgot yesterday.

Ice cream, of course!

A pint of Double Fudge, and a pint of Rainbow… why not?

I almost could see his scowl at my choices - after all he used to make ice cream from scratch, and it was the best I ever had. Especially as he’d put a splash of Kirsch or even single malt whisky or other high end spirit in with some of the flavours, which made the taste that much smoother.

Still, this brand I bought was on the high end, and not without merit.

---

‘K, let’s boot this baby up!

The plastic card Debbie gave me had a website and a code on it.

The initial download took a while - seems this was going to be a hefty install.

Luckily I took the extra large hard-disk upgrade option when I purchased my new computer, so… no worries!

Hm.. the graphics were not as sparkly or gaudy as some of the newer MMORPG out there, but this was still beta, so I’ll give it some leeway.

And it sort of had a nostalgic look to it - reminding me of the "old skool" RPG games I used to sink time into during college.

Character creation was simple enough - not too many choices, but as Debbie mentioned, that part was not as fleshed out as it will be at go-live.

Ah!

I could choose a bullwhip as a weapon!

Done!

And a fedora, of course.

Hm… name… name…

Well, considering the genre, and seeing as I was one of the first on the server, what else could it be but…

“Arizona James!”

Of course.

Blatantly a rip-off but different enough that no-one can complain.

Much.

The music was catchy, “exploring in the Sahara” themed, and fitting.

Oooo… Nice and clean UI, everything in close proximity, no weird hidden or slidey elements.

Movement of the player character was simply point and click… I likey!

Probably was designed with a future mobile or tablet version in mind, where keyboards are non-existent…

Smooth graphics - but then, I’d be shocked if it wasn’t on this monster hardware of mine - I had maxed out everything to the newest and greatest, after all.

The starting point was a small tent bar in the makeshift camp in the shadow of the pyramid.

Walking around a bit I found I could enter most of the tents. The ones I could not enter had name plates on the outside - seems they were owned by other players.

I stumbled on the “real estate agent” tent eventually. A non-player character - an NPC - greeted me.

“Ah, venerable guest! Do you wish to purchase a humble tent, nay, a domicile away from your domicile, perchance?”

The dulcet tones of the NPC were well articulated - and sounded slightly familiar. A famous celebrity or well known voice actor, maybe?

I tapped on the choice “What will that cost me?”

“Ah, for you, most noble adventurer, a mere 1,000 gold coins! And I am rudely slitting my own throat with such a bargain, I am!”

Hm, my current total worth was 10 gold, it seemed. The dialog had an option of purchasing virtual bags of 100 gold each, but because this was beta, the option was greyed out.

“Sorry, I am not in the market at the moment.”

“Ah, shame, shame… Well, I will always be at your service, should you desire to change your mind, most noble of a future customer!”

Eh?

Lay it on thicker, maybe?

Well it was kind of refreshing to have such polite customer service, even if it was just virtual.

So what was 10 gold even worth? We know a tent here goes for at least 1K…

Several of the other shop tents sold various ingredients, reagents, weapons, ammunition, and armour. One even sold maps, but when I saw the prices, they were even more than a tent.

After my walk through the bazaar, I came to the conclusion that 1 gold could get me a week’s worth of food, or a small knife, or a large canteen of pure water.

Food and water did not seem to be exactly necessary, but without them, one’s stamina bar slowly depleted over the game day, until one was forced to rest in real time.

Which was fine if one was just a casual player, but I was aiming to be a hardcore gaming NEET.

So I’ll need to either spend real live money to get gold, or I need to find a way to do that in-game.

Time to enter the pyramid!

---

The entrance was just a wide hole blasted into the side of the main pyramid.

As I stood at the top of the stairs, I looked around before I dived in - there were only about half a dozen players right now on the server, mostly doing business in the tent city.

There did not seem to be anything beyond the horizon other than sand, sand, and yes, more sand.

So, final check on my inventory.

Gold... 3 left. Check.

Food. Check.

Water canteen. Check.

Revolver and ammo. Check.

Whip. Check.

Fedora. Double check!

Here we go!

---

After I stepped in, I was immediately teleported into a new area.

Oh.
It was a jungle? In a pyramid?

Well, Debbie had mentioned it was bigger on the inside, thanks to the magic of computers, so…

I had appeared in a sort of makeshift camp, with a fire-pit and a few logs strewn around for seating.

No-one else was here right now.

Behind me was a sloped inner wall of the pyramid, making it obvious that the only path I had was forward.

In that case, as he always said… AVANTI!

Let the great adventure begin!

---