Took us a while, but we finally got to the cave.
And the Gnome had been right - there were periodic signs on the dirt path - which he had hopefully jokingly referred to as "a road".
Each sign was a rickety piece of wood on a crooked stick, with the word CAVE scrawled on it, and sometimes an arrow - an actual arrow from the term "bow and arrow" - tied to the top of the stick, generally indicating the direction one needed to continue on.
I suppose the signs and arrows were there in case the fields finally reclaimed the meagre path...
There was a final decrepit sign at the cave.
It also simply stated one word.
CAVE
Srsly?
Either someone was really bad at naming things or this whole sign-capade was the saddest attempt at a trolling I had ever seen.
Not that I remember seeing many trollings in the last week or so... unless you count that whole "Irongrip" episode with the Muscle Uncle and the Valkyrie sized innkeeper.
Hm... this "cave" entrance looked a bit too uniform, as if it had been carved - so this was more a tunnel than a cave, making the signs even... more surreal.
"Donkey... we are dealing with a sick mind here..." [Ibehru]
She was poking the sign with her pilum. Although it looked as if a slight breeze would topple it, the sign did not even budge.
"Sigh, let's break out the lightgem and go look for these golden thistles..." [Ibehru]
Lightgem?
And here I thought we'd do the cliche torches in the cave thing.
Guess this was a more modern world than I expected.
Ok... I take that back.
As we walked deeper down the slight sloping "cave" floor, the so called "lightgem" gave out less than a candles worth of light.
I almost saw more with my own eyes...
Ahhhh...
Now that I think about it, probably elves had superior night visi....
Nope.
A least not this elf...
"@$@*#$@*#$@#@ rock and useless cheap @#*#@* lightgem! Why did I get the discount model? Two copper more, and I'd have twice the light! Even if I had to pay it myself... *&*@*#&!" [Ibehru]
Ibehru bumped her - luckily helmeted - head hard on a low hanging rock formation.
At one point before we took a curve I looked back.
The cave floor had been steadily leading down, up to now in an almost straight line, which gave weight to this being a dug tunnel and in noway natural.
A few minutes after the bend, the tunnel expanded into a cavern.
A cavern is not a cave, so the sign was still wrong, I don't care what anyone says.
"Woah Donkey! Hold up!" [Ibehru]
Ah...
My old nemesis....
STAIRS.
With no banisters as I noticed.
And far below, water.
Wait.
Why could we see that?
The walls! They were glowing a soft greenish blue light!
"Ugh, I know how bad you are at stairs Donkey... and no rails on this one, either.... whoever built this place needs to be sued for breach of building codes!" [Ibehru]
Thanks Mrs. Obvious - I already noted that there were no rails.
But...
I have a cunning plan!
Whelp, or just a plain stupid idea...
Carefully I put my right front hoof onto the first step.
Ok - which hoof next?
I was going to try stepping down sideways - a method no donkey in its right mind would try - and I was starting to suspect I was not a right minded donkey, so let's call this par for the course.
The steps were about twice as wide as I was long, so I had plenty of play room, as long as I was mindful.
Back right hoof next. Then follow up with putting the front left next to my front right, and do a resounding finale with my left back hoof, next to my right back hoof.
One step conquered!
Who knows how many left.... sigh.
"Well there - that is sure using the old gray matter there, Donkey! Now you just need to get into a steady rhythm, and watch out for that curve down in the middle, and we'll be down at the bottom... eventually..." [Ibehru]
I started counting the steps.
And Ibehru too...
"Sixty-eight... sixty-nine... seventy... Looks like only about twelve more left and we'll hit some sort of luminous mossy platform..." [Ibehru]
And...
FINALLY!
My concentration had started to lag by the time my hooves sunk into the mossy flooring of the platform at the bottom of the stairs.
Not the most efficient mode of transport, but at least we ... well I ... made it without having to find out if I can swim, or how deep that water is.
Now that we arrived we peered around a bit.
In the middle of the platform a salamander type monster of several times my own length was curled up.
It was sleeping, apparently.
Little puffs of smoke periodically escaped its nostrils...
It was curled around a clump of thistles with golden yellow tops.
There were three thistles.
Exactly three....
And of course - I was dreading it for some reason - another rickety but amazingly unmovable sign was planted just a few cubits form the sleeping monster.
"Do not hurt me." [Sign]
Sigh...
"Some sort of.. test?" [Ibehru]
Oh, I suppose so...
"How utterly annoying." [Ibehru]
She said what I was thinking.
Ok... so what options did we have?
Let's assume the sign was important.
So I can't try out my Fireball Lvl 1 here...
And even if I did, this might be one of those "fireproof" salamanders - the periodic smoke puffs escaping from its snout sort of suggested that possibility.
It was times like these that I wished I had some sort of ice based spell.
Even though I suspected at Lvl 1 all I'd do is annoy this creature.
Yes, normal salamanders are cold blooded, and rely on external heat to get moving, so freezing them stops them.
But this one came with its own built in furnace.
Water based spell?
Could drown it - but we'd be drowned too, if I filled up the cavern...
Eh... enough thinking of what we don't have - let's have a quick double check of the skills I do have...
{
Race: Donkey {Lvl 2}
Stats | Skills
HP: 250/250 | Carrying Cargo
MP: 30/30 | Crushing Bite lvl 2
INT: 17 | Bronco Buck lvl 3
STR: 25 | Fireball lvl 1
CHR: 14 |
AGL: 16 |
Titles: Protector.
Exp: 55 | Skill Points: 0
}
Nope.
I'm done here...
Nothing useful.
I looked over to Ibehru, who had been standing near the salamander - but not too near - just looking at it.
I was about to trot over to pull on her sleeve in a manner suggesting we should just leave, when she moved back over to me.
"Stay here, Donkey, I got this..." [Ibehru]
Ah, she was whispering so as not to awake the beastie... good call!
And then she proceeded to remove here armour.
Under her segmentata she wore a padded vest and leggings - which she also removed.
Now - dressed only in a thin linen chemise and hose, she pulled on her left leather glove again, and unsheathed a small dagger from one of her boots - which she had also removed.
Sneaking silently - and the mossy flooring really helped with that - back to the snoring salamander, Ibehru reached the spot where the tail was the thinnest and thus lowest.
Happens to also be the spot right in front of the beasties snout...
With a short hop, Ibehru cleared the tail, and easily reached the three thistles in the middle of the encircling salamander.
With her gloved left hand, Ibehru grasped the spiny thistle stems, and cut them cleanly.
As stealthy hop back over the tail, and Ibehru was back.
"See? We got them!" [Ibehru]
Still in a whisper - no use waking the monster up now that we have the spoils.
After quickly re-arming and re-robing, Ibehru and I looked around once more.
A door in the far wall of the cavern.
Was...
Was that there when we first arrived?
Nevermind.
And of course there was another one of those sketchy signs...
EXIT
If this were a typical situation, I would be crying "It's a trap!" but....
"Hey, let's use that. Bet it goes back outside - maybe with no stairs, if you are lucky." [Ibehru]
Ok - if no stairs, then I'm all in.
The door opened silently.
I looked back one more time at the sleeping salamander as the hairs on my rump had inexplicably risen.
And I swear - the beasts eyes were open! And staring at us!
And then...
IT WINKED?!?
It closed its eyes again and let out a soft grunt, releasing a spout of flame from its snout....
Waahhhh....?
"Come on, don't twaddle, Donkey - let's go on up..." [Ibehru]
She tugged on my ear to follow her through the door.
If Ibehru had seen the wink, she did not show or mention it.
The beastie had been just pretending to sleep all that time, to see what we were up to!
Sigh...
The tunnel was smooth and gently curved continuously to the left and up.
A few feet in I heard a soft "click" behind me.
Yep the door was gone when I looked back.
One way only.
The lightgem was useless again, but at least this time there were no low hanging rocks.
We eventually reached another door.
I had been thinking during our steady climb up the tunnel - this was a bit anticlimactic, getting the three thistles.
But hey - we were just Royal Postal Workers, and not some A rank adventurers!
So who was I to complain?
Ibehru pushed the door open.
Ok...
Now THIS - this was a cave!
And as we stepped through the door and had taken not even three steps...
And yep.
Click...
This door too, was gone.
Two seconds later as we rounded a bend, I really, really wished that door had stayed.
Two orcs were sitting at a fire just inside the mouth of the cave.
Me and my big mouth...
Anticlimactic?
Yeah, I flagged this for sure...
