A BRIDGE!
Nope.
Nada.
Nyet.
Not going to cross something that - if I fell off - would mean certain terminal compression against the earth.
Even if I fell into the water, the surface tension at the speed I'd be going would have the same affect as hitting iron.
In other words...
Instant donkey pancake.
Ewwww.... and ouch.
I looked up in an attempt to distract myself from looking down.
The tree's canopy of leaves above me stretched up quite far.
How big was this tree???
"Come on Donkey, you can do it, just like with the stairs - I believe in you! Think of this as a road. Look, it does not move at all!" [Ibehru]
Ibehru walked a few cubits1A reminder: A cubit is the average length from an adult's elbow to the end of their outstretched fingers. Brought to you by "Donkeysplain"! onto the bridge and proceeded to hop up and down in her full armour like a crazed rabbit.
Ok - so Ibehru was not that heavy, but she did have the added weight of both mail and steel armour, plus her weapons.
And yeah...
... the bridge didn't budge even and ant's hair's width.
But.
Nope.
Not gonna cross that.
"I'll make sure to get you a whole bunch of carrots and if they have, apples, once we get to the other side?" [Ibehru]
I shook my head - bribes are good and all, but it would take A LOT MORE for me to cross a flimsy stick bridge.
"Eh! Insult me you do, Mr. Donkey!" [Gnome]
The gnome also stepped onto the bridge and stamped down a few times hard.
Right Mr. Gnome - you are even lighter than Ibehru, what were you hoping to prove?
"Built with stone magic, it is.. More solid than mountain, more still than iron. Took 100 years to learn from Master over 700 years ago, it did!" [Gnome]
...
So?
"Well, we can also do it the other way..." [Ibehru]
She reached up to her hair, and pulled out an incredibly long hair needle.
Where was she keeping that?
I shook my head again.
Break my bones, poke me with steel, I shan't cross a thin bridge hovering in the sky with zero support other than some wishy-washy magic that was so difficult it took a wizard a century to learn.
What if he got a vowel wrong during the incantation?
If there was incantation involved - seeing as I could silent cast my Fireball, I wasn't sure...
At least with the stairs in the cave I was able to figure out a solution - but this bridge stumps me.
"Sigh..." - the needle disappeared into the depth of Ibheru's hair again - "Do you have any ideas, Belidor?" [Iberhu]
"Oh, not Belidor I am - THAT Belidor over there, is." [Gnome]
The gnome pointed at the giant floating turtle in the sky, at the end of the flimsy bridge.
An eye the size of the "Royale Poste" building rotated towards us, and blinked at the speed of glaciers cavorting down a mountain.
In other words, SLOWLY.
Extremely... s...l...o...w...l...y...
"It has a name? Does it get lonely...? Never mind that... so whoever you are, do you have an idea?" [Ibehru]
"Temeghon... name is. Hm... ideas, yes. Catapult Mr. Donkey over with magic? No, might miss mark... Turtle large, but Mr. Donkey's weight... unpredictable results..." [Temeghon]
SRSLY????
DONKEY THROWING???????
You were considering that earnestly?????????
Temeghon must have seen my frown as he sheepishly grinned.
"Joking I was, Mr. Donkey! Do not that strong magic have! Ah. Yes, maybe? This?" [Temeghon]
The gnome now known as Temeghon handed Ibheru a large handkerchief.
"What am I suppo... OH! Donkey hold still a moment. Do... do you trust me?" [Ibehru]
...
I...
I suppose if I trusted anyone, it was Ibehru.
I nodded my big old donkey head once.
Ibehru reached up and put the handkerchief around my head.
Ah.
Blindfolded.
Some kind of punishment play?
"If you can't see where you are going, maybe you won't panic. And if you really trust me, I can guide you safely." [Ibehru]
Why was I thinking this could end up being one of those "Trust Exercises"?
And why did I know what a "Trust Exercise" was, anyway?
So Ibehru gently led me in the dark.
Well, it was dark for me - hopefully she kept her eyes wide open and glued to the B-word thing that I did not want to even think of where I was and what I was not walking over right now oh I think I might panic if I keep this train of thought up so let's try and think something distracting oh I know how about thinking deeply on the possible existence of... pink... elephants...
Ah...
That helped.
Mainly because I could not remember what an elephant actually was.
Or why pink might not be the correct colour.
What colour where elephants, anyhow?
That said, now that I calmed down I noticed that each step was solid, and whatever was beneath my hooves felt as if I was walking across the courtyard of the Palace... it had a similar sound as polished white granite.
Weird.
"Halfway, you are doing great Donkey!" [Ibehru]
Temeghon.
Tem... eg... hon.
Hmmmmmm.
A spark in the back of my brain started flashing in the darkness that was my world at the moment.
But it stayed a tiny spark, and refused to grow - so I had to leave it gnawing at my mind, for now.
"A quarter left now, Donkey... Oh... what are those cranes? Looks like... they have buckets on a rope and a big... wheel?" [Ibehru]
"Oh, gather water from lake, we do! Fountains and house to house these water-wheels feed... and at tail end, see? Exists waste, from us and from Belidor." [Temeghon]
"Is that a swamp...? Oh, I see, clever. The swampy bog will filter the sh... ah... waste, and keep the lake clean... clever!" [Ibehru]
"Yes, and swamp with special species of grasses and reeds is planted... hehe, slightly magically adjusted, for best cleaning, even." [Temeghon]
Well, that sort of made sense - even if I couldn't see it at the moment, I somehow could clearly imagine what the two were talking about.
Even we donkeys' won't sh... ah exit waste... into our own drinking water.
And having a continuous cleaning cycle was really handy.
In my imposed darkness I started wondering if villages and town, maybe even cities might benefit from this technology...
Eh...
I forgot.
I'm just a donkey, how was I supposed to mention this to anyone?
And Ibehru... well, she probably would forget about this once we returned home - she had enough of day to day worries to deal with, after all.
And now the sound under my hooves was different.
"We are here! Look!" [Ibehru]
And then there was light!
Ibehru removed my blindfold and waved an arm around to show where we were.
I was now standing on a brick paved road.
On top of a floating turtle called Belidor.
So far above the lake that I could see the last village we had visited before arriving at the lake, at the half way point to the horizon.
This really was a town built on a turtle.
The houses were one and two storied, but not as large as human or elf houses.
They were petite gnome sized houses.
Even a dwarf would feel a bit cramped in them, I suspected, and hit their heads on the door's lintel2In case this old word is not familiar to you, dear reader, a "lintel" can be sometimes found over the top of some doors, across the whole door and going a bit past the door width. Lintels are sometimes decorated, and can be made out of wood, stone, or on earth, even concrete. They are used to hold up and distribute the weight of the building above the door opening. You see this a lot on old fashioned doors. We don't really use visible lintels anymore on modern doors - there is usually just a "header" with cripple studs hidden inside the wall. Another donkeysplain moment! .
A very young looking female gnome greeted us.
<<Pargan, hatt knoyde drifenyl eb? Tep nac?>> [GnomeGirl]
<<Tep nac. Reyv ceni knoyde eb.>> [Temeghon]
Eh?
Somehow that sounds familiar - I've been getting quite a lot of "deja vu" since I started being me, although no cats were involved... and this "deja vu" was very strong.
<<Krafsteab ta sohue verse? Oya... bamey chum oto grale ot tfi?>> [GnomeGirl]
The little girl stretched on her tippy-toes and patted me on my big donkey nose - I bent down my head so she could reach easier.
<<Knoyde utec eb!>> [GnomeGirl]
<<Desitou aet nac... Arctere chum cesap stixes.>> [Temeghon]
<<Og reparep desitou krafsteab, neth!>> [GnomeGirl]
Ok... I... understood that?
The cute little gnome girl asked if we wanted breakfast, then was worried we would not fit inside the house, so Temeghon pointed out the terrace had a lot of space...?
Oh, and I _think_ the gnome girl called me... cute.
Blush.
Ibehru looked at Temeghon, as she did not understand Gnomish - I wished I could share my skill with her, but I had no way to do that.
Being a donkey, I can't talk.
"Ah sorry! Gnomish not known much outside... Breakfast prepared is being! Outside we eat, houses a bit small, sorry." [Temeghon]
"Oh, that is great, I am getting quite hungry... we sort of skipped dinner, didn't we?" [Ibehru]
<<Loflow slapee!>> [GnomeGirl]
"Follow please..." [Temeghon]
So we did.
We arrived at a larger house than most - it having three stories instead of the normal one or two of the other gnome homes.
And at the back, with a wonderful view of the mountains, was indeed an open terrace.
I got a bucket of a fruit similar to but not quite being apples - they were sweet, but also had a tart aftertaste, which left refreshing taste in my mouth.
Ibehru, the cute gnome girl, and Temeghon were served pancakes and jam by a friendly looking pink cheeked gnome woman, who before heading back into the house petted the gnome girl with the remark <<Habeve reda, ustegs veah!>>.
Which I knew meant something similar to "Behave, we have guest, dear...".
Oh, those pancakes looked scrumptious... I sort of wished I could have some, too!
Oh well, at least Ibehru seemed to really enjoy them.
It was now mid-afternoon, and were were taking a stroll along the town streets, perusing the goods on sale at the market, and admiring the meticulous stone work that the gnomes were famous for.
A wild gnomeling appeared wearing a grease stained coverall and a hardhat, all out of breath.
<<Master, master! There was an accident at pump 7! We need help to rescue the workers!>> [WildGnomeling]
Ha! I understood this wild gnomeling perfectly.
"Come dear guests - there seems to be an issue with one of our water-wheel pump cranes..." [Temeghon]
Temeghon waved to Ibehru and myself to follow.
We soon reached the afflicted crane.
It was a wooden affair, afixed to Belidor's turtle shell with metal spikes, and reaching far out and over the lake.
At the business end over the lake, a large iron double wheel hung.
Knotted rope was looped from the shell side and was used to drive the wheel.
And a double set of ropes hung down, also in a loop, far far far down into the lake.
On this double rope set were attached wooden buckets at intervals.
This pump was not running at the moment - but I could clearly see another pump further on, so I saw that the buckets slowly were moving.
Up one side of the loop came full buckets of water, and of course down on the other side of the loop went the empty buckets towards the lake.
When a bucket came to a certain spot close to the top of the crane, a clever lever sort of mechanism caused the bucket to flip and dump the water into a trough that ran along the outside of the crane towards the town - what the gnomes called "shell side".
Hanging a bit below the bottom of the turtle was a larger basket, containing two hardhat and greasy coverall wearing gnomes.
The basket was leaning a bit too much towards the lake, and both gnomes were holding on with white knuckles, and not moving at all.
<<See? Stuck! And soon fall, maybe! We unhook did try, but knot warped, knot stuck, can't budge!>> [WildGnomeling]
Temeghon looked down at the two unfortunately stranded gnomes and frowned.
<<Wonder if we could rope ladder lower?>> [Temeghon]
<<Tried! Too far, ladder too short - even three together attached !>> [WildGnomeling]
"What is going on, what are you discussing?" [Ibehru]
Temeghon turned towards Ibehru and I.
"It seems in a bit of a jam we are - even emergency rope ladder too short... Any ideas dear guests?" [Temeghon]
The only magic I knew was fireball... so, not sure how much help that would be.
Probably would make things worse.
Ibehru turned away from the scene and started walking away.
<<Eh?>>
I heard various murmurs in Gnomish from the surrounding.
<<That much apathy?>>
<<Well, she a gnome is not... but still?>>
<<I told you tall ones only about themselves cared !>>
And similar rippled through the crowd.
Temeghon was glaring at the complainers but stayed silent, as if he was waiting.
Then pieces of Ibehru's armour started to drop as she walked.
Her gladius, her pugio, her main belt, her helmet, her upper lorica segmentata, her upper leg segmentata...
With each step some piece of steel clanked down onto the cobbles.
Oh...
What is she up to now?
Eventually she had undone even her mail and padded vest and leggings.
Ibehru stood in her linens.
Again...
Starting to think she might be a bit of an exhibitionist, maybe?
Finally, she even kicked off her boots, and removed the same short dagger she had used on the golden thistles - this time she also took the sheath out.
The sheath had a clip arrangement - so Ibehru unceremoniously slid the sheathed dagger into the neck opening of her linen blouse, sheath on the inside, clip on the outside.
This way she could reach the dagger easily when needed.
Ibehru took a deep breath, spun around, and then started sprinting straight towards the crane of pump number 7.
Shouts of surprise from the gathered gnomes who had been helplessly watching the repair-gnomes dangle in the wind.
Temeghon grinned - Ah... how could his fellow gnomes ever have doubted a guest of his!
Yep.
Ibehru was going to try something stupid.
