2. Frown/Pout
Though Shino’s face showed no expression, he pouted inwardly. How illogical for him to feel these emotions. This sense of jealousy towards Naruto, whom he cherished as a friend; he couldn’t help but feel bitterness in his heart which threatened to rage and scream and cry along with the thrumming hive within him reacting to his emotions when Hinata hung on Naruto’s arm and focused her lovely lavender gaze on him. That special smile she reserved only for Naruto—Shino wished she directed her smile his way.
Who would love a bug freak like him? Maybe Shino would’ve won if he expressed his true sentiments if he went and serenaded her with lyrical songs telling of her beauty and kindness and splendor, how her beauty resembled a jeweled butterfly with prismatic wings. Yet his facade of zen composure, even when falling apart inside as the hive hummed with anger or ecstasy or even lust. His obsession with Hinata Hyuuga grew until his chest ached, though he cherished her happiness most of all, more than he cherished his friendship with Naruto and cherished his well-being. Just once, Shino wanted to be selfish, he wanted to think only of himself. Yet he cared about Hinata too much to steal her from a man she always had eyes for.
Did he deserve happiness? When Naruto and Hinata finally married each other, unspoken words choked in his throat. Better to leave them unsaid, only to die as an inaudible whisper among the wind. It was better that way, the more logical thing to do. It was prudent he didn’t allow his emotions to interfere with Hinata’s happiness. But just once, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to confess. It was tearing him up inside, and the hive within him swarmed and thrummed with restlessness.
Shino watched from the shadows. His observation bared no rival, yet as an observer, he faded into the background. Being forgotten. He knew Hinata wouldn't forget him, though Shino vowed he would forget his childhood crush on her and all the romantic notions he harbored towards her, from his innocent boyhood of wanting to hold hands with her and then in his later adolescence, leaving his sheets drenched with uncontrollable wet dreams about her. He would keep all these feelings secret and contain them within himself. No one else knew, except himself and the hive within him.
She’s better off with Naruto, Shino thought to himself. He is a great partner for her. If I have to keep these feelings buried deep inside, then I will do so. For her sake.
So Shino suppressed this secret side of himself. He loved Hinata Hyuuga. Life would continue without the love that he wanted from her, but she would continue being his friend, and there was comfort in that. He would always watch over her. Shino Aburame buried his secrets deep into his heart, where only the hive speaking their chattering secret language would whisper love melodies about Hinata Hyuuga in the murmurs of his heart.
Editing Pass Number 1 – March 3, 2021
