Chapter 5.2: A Ranger, Wizard, Fighter, and Cleric Walk Into a Bar…
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Finding the ball turns out to be a harder task than I imagined, and it’s not long after I start that I’m crawling on my knees, cheeks pressed against the ground, wondering just where the ball had managed to roll off to. That’s when suddenly, I feel my head ram into something hard.

 

“Ow!” I cry out, as does another voice to my surprise. Looking up, I see that it’s a woman, in her late twenties. She, too, is rubbing her head when she spots me.

 

“I’m sorry-!” we both say in unison. “No, it’s my fault-!” we reply together. This draws a laugh from the both of us.

 

“You go first,” she finally says with a smile.

 

I nod. “Sorry, I wasn’t looking at where I was going. I was trying to find something.”

 

“Curious, as was I,” she replies, “What was it that you were looking for?”

 

“A soccer ball.”

 

“Soccer?”

 

“It’s a long story. What about you? What did you lose?”

 

She shakes her head. “Don’t laugh okay, but it was a good luck trinket, a coin.”

 

“Why would I laugh?”

 

“Well, don’t you think it’s silly for a grown woman like me to carry a toy like that?”

 

“Is it something important to you?”

 

She nods. “It was given to me by someone… important to me.”

 

“Then I’ll help you look for it.”

 

“Really?! Oh, that’d be wonderful. In turn, I’ll help you look for this… soccer ball of yours.”

 

I nod, and we split up, spending the next half hour or so scouring the dirt, grime on my face, leaves in my hair, but then, I spot something gleaming out the corner of my eye. I crawl over and pick it up. It’s a bronze coin, about the size of a quarter. On one side is etched what looks like a large “C” with the letters “TP” written inside the curve. On the other is inscribed, “From TB, with love”. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to represent, and before I can ponder the matter for long, I hear a voice suddenly call out to me.

 

“Found it!”

 

It’s the woman from before. I move in the direction of the voice, and I see her, soccer ball in hand, covered in dirt and foliage.

 

She spots me as well, laughing, “What happened to you? You look like you fell into a pigsty.” In response, I just gesture to my head, causing the woman to reach for her own. Her hand comes away with a leaf, and we both laugh. “I found your soccer ball.”

 

“And I found your coin,” I say, holding out my palm. The irony of the situation draws another laugh from us both, and we exchange items as well as gratitudes.

 

“Thank you again! I can be such a clutz sometimes,” the woman says, knocking her own head lightly, “Teehee. I’m glad you were here to help.”

 

“Sure, and thanks for finding the soccer ball for me.” The woman nods, and I can see the gears suddenly turning in her head, her face abruptly pensive as her gaze draws to the ground. “Is something the matter, Miss?”

 

She looks up at me, her blue eyes meeting mine, and for a second, I feel a certain seriousness about them. But then the moment passes, and a sheepish smile crosses her face. She scratches her head, blushing. “I’m, I’m almost too ashamed to ask, since you’ve been such a big help already, but, um, you’re from around these parts, right? You know this area?” When she sees me nod, she continues. “I ask because I have sort of a problem that I think only a local can help solve. Since you are one, and I’m not, perhaps you can, if it’s not too much trouble…”

 

“Sure, I don’t mind. What is it?”

 

Her face lights up. “I have this companion, you see. We were supposed to be traveling together, and we were, until we stopped to rest at this abandoned cabin in the mountains. He said he was going to take a nap, and I stepped out to get some water from a nearby stream. Trouble is, I got lost on the way back, and now, I can’t seem to, for the life of me, find my way to him. If you know the area, perhaps you can… guide me?”

 

I grin. “Sure. In fact, I know this very cabin you speak of. I’ll lead the way.”

 

Without warning, the woman pulls me into an embrace, her bosom smothering my face. “Thank you! Oh, thank you! You’re a godsend!”


“Um, don’t… mention… it…” I just barely manage, experiencing a suffocation quite unlike the dogpile from before. And this time, I wasn’t quite sure I needed rescuing.

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