"Ouch!" Deen exclaimed, pulling her finger away from my mouth.

I continued to munch on the fry as I spoke, "Don't be such a drama queen. I know that didn't hurt you." I leaned left, pushing Deen to her side. Then I reached across my body with my right hand to get another piece of fry. She didn't pull the plate away.

"No, I was just surprised you bit me," she said with a pout.

"And I'm sure your Guardian Angel told you I was going to do that." I waved a long fry at her. "I bet you disobeyed it again, didn't you? Curious about what I was going to do?"

"Gabe didn't tell me anything because that wasn’t any danger at all," Deen said as she rolled her eyes at me. "It doesn't point out every small thing, Erind,” she pointedly added.

I wasn't sure if I was going to believe her. A few times, Deen admitted her Guardian Angel warned her about not-so-dangerous things, and she did not follow it to see what would happen.

Deen held up her finger that I bit and examined it. She was probably thinking about how she was going to retaliate. I half-expected her to bite me back. What was I going to do then? Saliva Wars into Biting Battles was something I'd rather avoid. If only I could get away from her without raising a commotion.

But Deen didn't do anything. She spent several seconds staring at her finger. She didn't even react when I pulled the plate of disco fries to my side so I could easily continue eating.

"Earth to Deen?" I said, nudging her breast with my elbow. It jiggled a bit, something that mine couldn't do. Somehow that annoyed me. I hoped to surprise her again and get a funny reaction, but she didn't even let a pip out. "What's wrong? I don't have rabies."

Deen shook her head. It should be a response to me, but it looked like she was also trying to clear her thoughts. "Um, I was thinking—"

"Or are you concerned I might eat you because I'm an Adum—Hey!" Deen elbowed my chest to stop me from completing my sentence. She gave me a stern frown. "No one's going to hear me," I hissed at her.

"Better safe than sorry."

"Fine, whatever you say. So anyway, what were you thinking so deeply about?"

Deen heaved a deep sigh, visibly conflicted about whether she should share her thoughts or not. I bet it was something stupid that she was taking too seriously for one dumb reason or another. "My finger," she said. "Do you want it?"

My mouth gaped in surprise; I could barely eke out a word. Years of studying normal human behavior couldn't prepare me for this. How the fuck should I respond? "Uh...that sounds inappropriate," I lamely said, trying to pretend she was joking.

Wait, she really is joking! She was trying to shock me with this stupid shit. Fucking Deen got one up on me!

"Inappropriate?” Deen said.  "I'm not sure if I'll use that word, but I guess you're right that it's wrong for me to ask this." Her super serious face made me rethink my assumption that she was messing with me. "I-I just don't know how to say it. I'm sorry if I offended you."

"I'm not offended," I said. "Hang on, what are we talking about again?" I sensed there was some misunderstanding going on. Deen should be laughing after I was surprised by her fake propositioning—that's the term for suggesting sex, right?

Deen leaned closer to me. She gripped my arm tightly as she whispered. "Do you want to eat me?"

That sentence had two meanings. But given Deen's expression, she certainly wasn't trying to pull a sexual prank on me, so scratch that one. This could only mean the other thing. She meant ‘eat’ as in I was going to fucking munch on her.

"The eating your finger thing was just a joke," I explained, trying to hide my exasperation at her craziness. "I'm not going to do that to you because you're my friend."

I could've told Deen the truth that I didn't actually need to eat people just because I was an Adumbrae. It was simply how my power worked. But Deen seemed to think I now required human flesh for sustenance. And I was going to let her continue thinking that way because it was funny as hell.

"It's because I'm your friend that I'm offering this," she said, tugging my left arm to emphasize her commitment. "Aren't I the best candidate for this?"

"Best candidate?" I asked. Holy fucking shit, I hoped she didn't mean what I thought she meant.

"I can regenerate," she said with bright eyes as if she had just come up with a brilliant idea. "I can give you a finger or two if you're hungry. It'll just grow back. Just, uh, you have to be the one to cut it. I can't do it—"

"Deen, I'm not going to do that." Like, what the fuck idea did this bitch even come up with? Did she think she was a stone crab? I hadn't tasted that specific crustacean before, but I heard they could regrow their claws and were harvested every season. Were we going to put up a Deen Finger Farm to feed me?

"Can we just enjoy our meal,” I said, “and not talk about gross things like that?" Yep, better stop this now. I wouldn't want Deen to get any ideas and slip her finger in my fries or something.

"Do you...do you think I'm gross?"

"No!" I hastily replied. "You're the most non-gross person I could think of." Then I added in a whisper, " I have drunk your blood, remember?"

"That's right," Deen said. "So I was thinking we can do something like—"

"Deen, that wasn't me. That was Blanchette. And what I referred to as 'gross' was not eating you but eating humans in general. I find that disgusting because I'm still Erind, okay?"

"Ye-yes...you are." She squeezed my arm. "You are Erind."

"Enough of this talk," I said. "Or I'll pinch your butt."

"I'm just concerned that—Ow!" She pulled my arm up, finally freeing my hand. "Erind! That really hurt."

"Yeah, I had to exert a bit of strength to make sure you noticed me." I stuck my tongue to make it look like I was playing around when I did intend to hurt her. If I did that to a normal human, I probably would've ripped off a chunk of their flesh. "This time, I'm sure your Guardian Angel told you about that. Did you want me to pinch your butt?"

Deen leaned to her right to massage her ass. "Gabe just told me to change the conversation, not that you would do that."

"Sure, let's go with that." I grinned at her.

"It's the truth!"

"Whatever," I said, smirking at her. "Now that everything's settled, can we eat in peace?" I felt like I had said this multiple times already. "It's a waste not to finish this good food we paid for."

"The food here tastes good, right?" Deen had an evil glint in her eye. Fortunately, she had moved on from her serious bullshit ideas, but it seemed she had returned to being mischievous.

"Uh, yeah." I raised a brow. "Why?"

"How does it compare to me?" she asked. "Do I taste good too?"

"Wha-? What are you talking about?" Was it a sexual prank this time? I needed more experience observing people in situations like these because I had nothing to base my reaction approximations on. But I had no idea where I could get material on this.

"I mean, you drank my blood..."

Fucking come on! She's still going on with this? "Deen, firstly, what the hell?" I added a bit of edge in my voice to show I was offended. This might also be the first time I said 'what the hell?' to her face. I held up two fingers. "Secondly, it's blood. All blood tastes the same...maybe?" I raised another finger. "Thirdly, I already told you that I'm a different person when I'm Blanchette. I can't remember much of what's happening when I'm transformed."

"Oh, that's right...sorry," she mumbled. She looked away in embarrassment. "No, I shouldn't have said—"

But I wasn't done. "Fourthly," I loudly interrupted her as I held up four fingers, "The taste of a human's blood doesn't change just because someone is hot and beautiful."

"I wasn't implying that," Deen protested. She also breathed a sigh of relief because it turned out I was only joking around. Before I could react, she poked the side of my ass. Then she scooted to the left as I instinctively swung my arm in retaliation. "Careful," she cautioned me as she pushed away the milkshake glass. "You were about to knock it over."

"And it'd be your fault," I countered, snatching the glass away from her.

"That was revenge for pinching me earlier," she said.

"Then I should have revenge for your revenge," I said. She tilted her head as if to challenge me. "Don't listen to your Guardian Angel so it'd be fair.” As she was about to speak, I lunged at her to poke her side.

We continued our poking and pinching match for a couple of minutes until one of the kids from the family sitting a couple of booths away wandered over, maybe wondering why two grown-ass women were making so much noise. Then we settled down and continued eating. In all, it would've been a fun eating experience, even though Deen was annoying as fuck, if only the asshole frat boys didn't also arrive at the diner.