It should’ve been routine. It was always routine. There was no way in hell I could’ve been ready for this, no way in hell anyone could’ve been ready for this. I was patrolling outside of my settlement on the dust planet of Yverrak when I was jumped by several raiders. I was completely surrounded and terrified beyond belief. The man in front of me stepped forward.

“Heya there pretty, we’re the Comically Evil Crew. We’re here to do all sorts of evil and nasty things to people, but only good people, if you’re evil you’re cool with us.”

“How do you feel about morally grey people?”

“If you ain’t comically evil, you ain’t really evil at all.”

“Oh no! What am I to do? I’ve been surrounded by a gang of evildoers!”

Suddenly a flash of green flew from the sky, smashing into the ground in front of me. A tall green man with a remarkable resemblance to Handsome Squidward brushed some dust off of his shoulders after his landing. The only notable differences were his big, black eyes, and his pointy ears, jutting out from the sides of his head.

“Quick boys, shoot him! Ain’t nobody that good looking that’s evil!” shouted the lead raider.

“Fear not, young madame, I am Grogu, and I’ll show them the power of force,” the green man, evidently called Grogu, said to me. 

“You mean the power of the force?” I offered.

“No!” Grogu shouted, before picking up a man and ripping him in half over his head.

“Oh.”

The battle raged. Well, not really. I would say the battle raged if there was really a battle at all. What had once been a life-threatening situation was completely trivialized by the muscled mass of man known as Grogu. Lasers deflected off of his rippling pecs, blunt weapons bent around his chiseled abs, there was nothing they could do. They stood no chance. As the last raider begged for his life, completely prostrate, Grogu looked down at him with empty eyes. He picked up the crying man and nestled his head cleanly between his pecs. 

“Oh… this is kinda nice. You work out a lot?” said the now comfortable raider. 

“Yes!” Grogu flexed his pecs, causing the raider’s head to pop like shitty microwaved food that I wanted to eat but now I just get to clean up a microwave.

I can’t help but gush over the beautiful green man who just saved my life. Although I knew nothing about him, I was already his. “Oh Grogu, you’re such a man! What would I have done if you weren’t here!”

“Well… you certainly wouldn’t have taken my fat 18-inch Yoda cock.”

“But Grogu… I haven’t done that.”

“Better get started then.”

His pants dropped and I was met with the largest dick I’d ever seen. 18 inches of throbbing, veiny, green cock were suddenly the only thing I could think about. It was no time at all before I was out of my jumpsuit and we were making passionate, sweaty love. He was a gentle, but dominant lover. He controlled me entirely, and I was more than willing to let him. When he orgasmed, I did as well. I could feel his seed fill me completely. He was beyond virile. I knew for a fact I was pregnant with at least 20 of his children.

“Oh, Grogu... I love you... Please stay with me and raise these 20-some-odd pups you just filled me with.”

“Sorry baby, ramblers gotta ramble.”

Saying this, the love of my life leaped into the air, disappearing into the dusty atmosphere. I never saw him again, but if I did, I’d tell him to pay his damn child support, or at least fill me with some more of the little fuckers.