I awoke the next morning to a polite tapping at my window and a smell of French toast that I’d nearly forgotten. The air was quite a bit chillier than I was used to ... back in the lands of perpetual summer. I sat up and stretched. Even if it was an awkward response to someone too large to enter, I still said, “Uhm, come in?”

The world around me briefly began to shake, then the dollhouse was open.

Hannah was sitting cross-legged with a plate in hand. She smiled at me, sitting next to the doll bound there, with a glint of mischief. “Well, don’t you two make a cute couple.”

I blushed.

Without waiting for me to reply, Hannah took something from on the plate and placed it on me–a warm fluffy piece of eggy bread. It was the most wonderful blanket I had ever felt.

Tentatively ... I took a chunk and tasted it.

It was sweet and savory—everything the French toast should have been. The immediate trembling in my hands and the violent return of my appetite told me how much my body had missed food.

Hannah giggled. “I wondered what I would like if I were shrunken down. French toast blanket was just obvious. Oh, and that reminds me!” She picked up a brown bottle that had been at her side. Then she poured it over the meal … and thus, over me.

It was ... real maple syrup.

“You did say you came back to Earth for the food,” Hannah said, taking a bite from her own plate.

I nodded, my mouth still full as I replied, “I ... actually didn’t know that it was Earth I was coming to."

Hannah's face curled a bit, like she was surprised at what I had said. "But ... you would have definitely still come through, if you'd known you'd be on Earth. Right?"

I looked down, the lack of response saying everything that I hadn't.

Hannah seemed stunned at this.

"If I'd known I would get to meet you, definitely," I said quickly, not exactly sure where I'd gone wrong. "You’ve been amazing. I just ... have a lot of memories here.”

Hannah nodded like it made sense. “I guess I'm just ... surprised. There ... really isn't anything or anyone here you miss?”

Trying to make light of the situation, I shook my head and said, "Well ... I did miss French toast."

Hannah smiled. “I guess that means you're not totally crazy." She took another bite.

I let out a tense sigh.

"When we finish here," Hanna continued between chewing. "We can go shopping. No toy of mine is going back on their adventures on the open seas without even the basics.”

“That's … very kind of you," I replied and then I looked down regretfully at the meal left unfinished.

Hannah returned the leftovers to her plate and then lifted me. Despite the reason for it, I suddenly felt a little bit like an inconvenience for how sticky I must have been from the syrup that had covered my entire body.

However, Hannah must not have minded nearly as much, because she simply put me into her mouth. Immediately, her tongue began removing all hints of the sticky syrup. Finally, she let me fall out of her mouth and into her hand “All better.”

I wobbled dizzily, very much in agreement.

“And now to keep you safe while I go to the store,” Hannah said. She reached down to her pink cotton panties, opened up the waistband, and dropped me inside.

Then I was immersed in musky, glorious dark.

"More nerd kinkery" Tab mumbled from my ear. "You two enjoy. I'm going back to sleep."

-O-

When we got home, Hannah reached down and retrieved me from her panties. She then sat me down on her desk and said, “Well, somebody has been a naughty girl. Don't think I didn't notice you playing while I was shopping.”

I blushed, feeling entirely frazzled, all of me soaked once again. This time, I did take advantage of the wet-wipe left for me to clean up.

“So let’s see,” Hannah said, removing a few products out of the bag. “I’ve got wasabi peas, dark chocolate candies, roasted peanuts, and dried cranberries that I’m going to throw into the food processor to be bite-sized for you. My own recipe for trailmix, which should keep pretty well. I also got this.”

I looked down to her hand wear she showed me a children’s toy doll. As an accessory, the doll had a little red wagon.

Hannah tossed the doll aside and then set the wagon next to me. Then she pulled out some fabric to begin cutting. After a while of working in silence, she eventually said, “So … you really don’t miss Earth?”

I paused ... but eventually shook my head. “I’m glad to have met you ... but … I’m guessing you were almost one of the students to make it to my world anyways.”

Hannah paused and raised both eyebrows, as if never even having considered the idea. But then she shook her head, undeterred, and asked, “Didn't you have ... anyone who would have been sad that you left?”

I shook my head, a little more stiffly than I was meaning to. But then stopped myself. "I guess ... there was my grandmother."

“... and ... you didn't think to have me call her?” Hannah asked, seeming to work out the scenario in real time. "Maybe let her know you were okay? Say goodbye? Or even ... stay with her for a little while?"

I shook my head forcefully, trying to stave off the pressure building the longer we talked about this topic.

"Why not?" Hannah asked.

I shook my head, unable to answer.

"We ... could still do that," Hannah said, almost hopefully.

My jaw tightened.

"Why won't you even consider-"

"Talking to someone she wouldn't even recognize a having used to be her grandson?" I asked, the tension finally snapping. "She'd only be more confused, and she'd ... eventually know that-"

Hannah peered at me deeply, not content to let the matter hang. "Know ..."

"That I'm still not okay!" I said, my voice slipping a bit more. “Besides, getting back home is my only priority. I can't afford to take on another mission. Not here. Not when all of my partners are scattered across the world.”

Hannah asked, sounding like she wasn't convinced. "But ... what about what Kavtagro said? What if it's not a coincidence that the first two islands you found have connected you with other humans? Maybe the part of your soul that was crying out wanted a chance to return and-"

"Bitch, fuck off," interrupted Tab from my other ear, only making my grasp of the situation more tenuous. "Lilly, this nerd doesn't know you."

I closed my eyes, barely able to resist gasping. "Earth is not my home! And humans are not my-" I stopped myself, just short.

Hannah stopped with me ... only now seeming to realize how far this conversation had gone. She was quiet for a moment and then said, "Maybe ... you're right." She took a sharp breath. "Lilly ... if Tab hadn't stopped you ... what do you think you would have done? To that President Derk guy?"

"I don't know," I whispered, the emotion feeling like it was softly spilling, now that I could no longer keep it contained. “But ... lately ... it feels like what Earth turned me into is the only reason I'm stuck out here in the first place.”

Hannah gave me a soft look. “You think it’s all ... your fault?”

I felt my body go rigid, answering the question before my brain could come up with an answer.

Hannah frowned just a little. She didn’t need to say that she didn’t agree, for me to understand.

“And ... that’s why Kavtagro didn’t bring you" I said, finally realizing that Tab had been right. "You're happy here ... on this world ... with these people.”

Hannah glanced back at the picture of her family, and he face softened. So much so that, just for an instant, I could almost understand. Then Hannah replied, “It's not perfect ... but it's my home. And I genuinely believe that leaving would mean ... that I wouldn't be here to help fight and make it better.”

I felt the unintentional rebuke, but didn't respond to it.

“Do you really not think it can ever be any better?” Hannah asked, looking around her.

I sighed and shook my head.

"Then I guess," Hannah said, folding her arms around her, letting the conversation finally dissolve. "Then I guess you're on the right path for where you want to be."

-O-

Hours later, Hannah was carrying me over on the sidewalk I’d arrived at. I directed her to the steaming sewer that led back to my own world. Hannah finally placed me down quite close to it. Then she reached into a canvas tote bag and produced the wagon with a mesh baggy of food and clothes tied to the top with a ribbon.

"Thank you," I said, hoping that the rift between us was still small enough for a farewell. "Really. And I may not believe in humanity. But ... I do think you make this world better for being in it.

Hannah sighed and looked at me. "I hope you make it back to your family. They're your people now and ... they're lucky to have a version of you who believes in them."

I nodded, accepting that it was as good a farewell as I could have expected. I had nearly turned to enter the mist, when something stopped me.

"Lilly ..." Hannah said, once my back was turned. "For the sake of you ... and of everyone here. Please ... never come back. And when you get home. Just ... stay with your family. Away from any of the humans that are there."

I turned to face her again, in utter confusion, tears lining my sight.

"I promise you that I'm not trying to be cruel," Hannah said, taking a deep breath. "But humanity has a long way to heal. Sooner or later, old patterns ... always come back. And maybe you wouldn't have crushed that Derk guy for what he did to you. But if humans ever hurt someone you loved ... if you ever had to choose between your world and ours ... I'm afraid at what you would do."

"Lilly, let's go," Tab said, trying to pull me out of my haze. "As your Captain, I am ordering you to go back into the mist. Do you understand? Fuck her and fuck this world. It doesn't have anything left for us."

I nodded emptily and complied with the order ... while promising myself that I would also do as Hannah had asked.

-O-

For a moment, everything was white. But then I stepped back out onto the land of infinite gray rocks. The heaviness inside was still there ... but a little more distant. Like I'd woken from a dream that was quickly fading from memory.

To my surprise, I found myself face to face with Kavtagro. He was holding what looked like the world’s longest wooden bong–designed to be nearly as tall as he was. One end was over his mouth and the other was … in the fog?

I turned around and realized that the fog was thinner than ever and far smaller in mass than when I’d entered.

Was Kavtagro ... smoking a portal through space and time?

I tried to glare at him, but only felt the most minor form of annoyance. Possibly only for the fact that he'd been having a good time while I'd nearly lost my mind.

I certainly wasn't ready to admit that seeing his nonsense was making me feel more ... regulated. Like reality was back to the way it always should have been.

Kavtagro just stared back at me with his glowing and puffy cyan eyes wide in a look of narcotic surprise. “What? I didn’t know you had made it in there, already.”

I sighed and started walking.

I heard labored breath as Kavtagro ran to catch up with me. He stopped when he was in front of me, panted, and then said, “In the super offhand chance that the World were to talk to you. Could you, like, not bring this up? It’s just, she’d be really pissed and … I don’t want to stress her out. You understand, right?”

I shook my head and continued walking.

“So … that’s a yes?” Kavtagro asked, giving me a hopeful thumbs up.

I only abstained from saying something horrible because I knew how much he’d have enjoyed it if I did.

“You’re making good choices!” Kavtagro called out after me.

Okay, maybe now I wanted to punch him a little bit.