I woke the next morning to Hyrranesus standing over me. My ring had not woken me ... which I guessed to mean that I needed time to heal more from what had happened in the cave. Not that I would have been able to, in this state. Everything, from my head to my toes, hurt. And more than that, there was a bitter feeling I hadn't been able to shake.

"Good morning," Hyrranesus said, jotting something down in her notebook before turning all of her attention to me.

"Morning," I managed, trying to sit up.

"You did well yesterday," Hyrranesus said, helping me when I couldn't manage to shift from where I was sitting. "Daava filled us in, along with an earful for the Director." She chuckled and shook her head, unmistakably finding it all very sweet.

"How is Daava?" I asked.

“Just fine," Hyrranesus said. "As are you. While unfortunate, this incident has brought your potency up by several levels,”

“Does … that mean it will help the people of Crudehook?” I asked, hopeful that she would at least say I was close.

However, Hyrranesus shook her head. “For healing like you are trying to achieve, you will need mastery of the form.”

I felt a disappointed pit in my stomach at this answer. “I’ve been … trying really hard. In the cave, I did everything I thought I was supposed to … but then I thought I was going to die. Then I messed up and ...”

“Lilly,” Hyrranesus said, stopping me with a hand on mine. “You must always remember that your education–sexual or otherwise–is a journey. This isn't something anyone could achieve in a week. You are developing a relationship with yourself. And relationships of all varieties take time.”

I nodded, trying to be mature enough to understand that what she was saying made absolute sense. But I still could not help but feel like a failure.

Hyrranesus sat on my bed and cradled my knees to her side. “I’m worried about the pressure you might be putting on yourself.”

I looked down at my covers and didn’t respond.

"What happened ... in the cave?" Hyrranesus asked, trying to gently prod me into opening up.

A knot formed in my throat.

I felt like I'd betrayed everything this school had taught me about harnessing my magic. When everything was on the line, the words I'd relied on were those of Aamalyn, an enemy of the school. And I was terrified of saying as much, especially if word would get back to Daava about what I'd done. But if I had already failed, I owed everyone that much at least.

"I ... compromised," I said, shaking my head. "I thought I was going to die. So I fell back on something darker inside of me. I ... used myself to get out of the cave." I gasped, tears beginning to spill. "What if that's why the magic isn't working yet? What if I messed everything up?"

“Lilly,” Hyrranesus said, and lifted my chin so that we were face to face. “You're right. You won’t get to where you need to be by treating yourself like a tool for the use of others. That includes the people who care about you. Me, the faculty, even Daava."

I flinched at the very assertion. "Daava wouldn't-"

"I know," Hyrranesus said, ever-calm. "I’ve spoken to Daava. You’re more than just a means to an end for her. And what happened in the cave ... that wasn't magic in its purest form. What it was is you surviving. Long enough to find a better way, once everything was over. My dear, you haven't ruined ... or betrayed ... anything."

I nodded and finally let out the sobs that had been accumulating inside of me for longer than I wanted to admit.

Hyrranesus cleaned by face with her green hand. "It's alright. Just work on being healthy and whole. That’s your homework assignment until you're back in class, understood?”

I nodded in reply, finally managing to breathe.

-O-

I ended up spending only one day of my weekend bundled up in my bed. While I was past the immediate fear and shame, my mind was often caught swimming in that dark cave. I would often wake up in a cold sweat, my mind replaying all the ways our misadventure could have ended in tragedy.

For a few minutes, all my adult reasoning would be entirely gone. I would feel like a child again–vulnerable, terrified, hypervigilant. Then the bubble would come like it had in the cave, making it hard for me to think or even balance on two feet.

I actively dreaded the idea of more quests or even classes, for the irrational fear that they would send me into another mine filled with living skeletons or worse … water.

Just like the current in the cave, there was nothing but to ride it out ... no matter how it hurt.

Mystery helped take care of me in the couple of days of recommended bedrest, hanging out, talking when I needed to, and reading something from the library when I fell back into sleep every so often.

Daava brought me food during mealtimes.

Even Faublien visited—leaving me a small blanket with a minor calming enchantment on it.

It was my final guest who I expected least.

In the late evening, I began nodding off to sleep when I felt the shakes begin. The world started to feel like a scarier place.

“You’re okay, you’re alright,” I muttered to myself. I repeated this phrase a few more times, trying hard not to make the repetition sound too frantic to myself.

The door creaked open suddenly, and I jumped.

I recognized the tall, statuesque elf donning leather almost immediately.

“A-Aamnalyn?” I said, a little intimidated but not exactly frightened.

I had been rather worried about Aamalyn since our last meeting at the barn. But now ... how in Kavtagro’s infinite pubic hairs had she managed to break into the university and my room?

Aamalyn smiled and looked like she was going to say something before she paused. She studied me for a moment and then furrowed her brow. “The magical power emanating from you … it’s … different.”

I glanced away.

“What did they do to you?” Aamalyn asked, the veins on her temples becoming noticeable as she clenched her jaw. A dark energy filled the room. For the first time, I felt a little genuine nervousness at her presence.

“It was a mistake,” I said, about to explain what had happened.

However, Aamalyn shook her head. “It’s always been the same with them. They promise you safety, a place where you can have “healthy” encounters. But what happens when their perfect little vision fails? They leave you out to dry!”

Aamalyn made a fist and looked like she was about to punch something. Given the bare state of our room, however, there were few targets. So instead, she grabbed a laundry bag and began looking around the room. Stuffing anything she could get her hands on inside.

“What … are you doing?” I asked.

“Packing your things,” Aamalyn said. “I’m getting you out of here. At least in the city, I can protect you from this sort of inane, magic-killing, asinine-”

“I … don’t want to leave,” I said, feeling a bit of nauseous guilt in my stomach when I did.

Aamalyn froze and then turned to give me an exasperated look. “This place … it’s gotten its tendrils into your brain.” She shook her head and continued packing.

“No, I … I have people I care about here,” I said. I really didn’t want to argue … but this was the only thing I’d ever been this sure about in my entire life.

“The people here aren’t the good people you think they are!” Aamalyn said, her voice raised in frustration that seemed … genuine. “In the city, people fight and vie for power. But they don’t play the sick mind games that they play here. They don’t lull you into a false sense of security and then cut you where you’re most vulnerable. They don’t-”

Aamalyn shook her head like she couldn’t finish. She stepped to my bed and reached out to take my hand.

“You said you wouldn’t do anything unless I asked,” I said. “I think … I think you are good. And I don’t want you to leave. But I also don’t want to leave here, either.”

“It’s not safe here,” Aamalyn said. "We're leaving."

My vision narrowed, my heart raced, I felt nausea fill me as I said the one word that I’d been trained to fear more than any other. I had to manually force the muscles in my jaw to work as I said in too formal a tone, “No.”

Aamalyn sputtered and shook her head again, seeming almost frantic. She finally reached for me again.

So I said the word I'd learned on my very first day in this world.

“Flame.”

At my utterance of the magical safeword, a weight filled the room. Both of us froze in place, all heightened emotion sucked from the air instantly.

In the far end of the room, the door slammed open.

Almost immediately, Aamalyn began to slide backwards on her feet. Her face … she seemed scared, hurt, confused. I hated it … I hated watching as an invisible force pulled her all the way out the door, slamming it behind her.

From the other side, I only briefly heard sobbing.

And did the same, crying into my blanket–knowing I’d done the right thing while still entirely feeling like I’d done something horrifically wrong.

-O-

It was the beginning of a new week. My nerves and pain had calmed enough that I was able to attend classes. So now, I found myself in a pasture ... entirely naked.

True to her word, Hyrranesus had fastened long, pink ribbon around my neck–which she used to lead me around and even to tie me at a kneeling height to posts when she needed to. Like now, as she was taking measurements of my breasts.

“Nearly double in size!” Hyrranesus said excitedly. She weighed my breast in her hand for a moment.

“Moo,” I said contentedly, enjoying the feeling of the gentle sun on my freckled shoulders and bare back.

It was true, my breasts were much more substantial than they had been. The weight was nice. My veins were much more noticeable as well, and my nipples were more prominent.

As had become a habit, Hyrranesus handed me one of the delicious milk candies I had come to crave. On top of their natural flavor, my brain now entirely associated them with approval and positive reinforcement. Hyrranesus then led me by my leash back into the barn.

I walked on my hands and knees, as she expected of me. Once back in the barn, we approached the stall I now thought of as my own.

There, I spotted a new and vaguely familiar mechanism. Much of it was gears and some sort of pully system with a crank. The parts I recognized, however, were the two glass orbs on either side of a padded surface. It didn’t take a genius to know what they would be used for.

Hyrranesus guided me onto the device.

This one was higher than the pillory from before, and I had to stand up to even be able to mount it. The base was something like a heavily padded wooden horse, which I had to straddle. By benevolent design, there was a hole where my girlstick could rest unsmooshed. Leather pockets both supported and restrained my elbows and knees.

Hyrranesus locked me into place and then span a metal wheel. The round glass tubing to rise and meet my breasts. Hyrranesus then adjusted my breasts, so my nipples were perfectly aligned with the orbs. Then, with a crank, the machine whirred and soon produced a gentle suction.

I squeezed my eyes shut and whimpered a small, “Moo.”

“That’s right, the little cow likes her machine, doesn’t she?” Hyranessus said, feeding me another candy. She proceeded to take a brush and begin grooming my hair. “With this leaving my hands free, who knows what new things we could add to our classes.”

“Moooo,” I moaned breathily.

Hyrranesus then span a second wheel.

I heard something happening beneath me. I only realized what it was once I felt a glass rim around my girlstick.

In an academic tone, Hyrranesus explained. “I’ve been interested in seeing what your other milk might be capable of.”

The suction provided sudden and intense pleasure. I whimpered and my eyes rolled back.

Hyrranesus continued to run her brush through my hair. This felt a bit strange at first, giving everything else going on, but I soon found myself enjoying it.

At some point, Hyrranesus stopped and took a few steps back.

I glanced over to see that was removing her red robe and the canvas overalls beneath.

Hyrranesus then returned, still stroking her sex calmly. She pulled her finger away for a moment, and I saw a string of her wetness trail from her finger.

With a glint of mischief in her smile, Hyrranesus took another piece of candy into her wet hand. Purposefully coating the sweet in the juices trailed from her finger.

Hyrranesus then pressed it into herself. Without releasing it, she swirled it around inside for a moment before pulling it back out.

Even before it was near my face, my mouth was already open expectantly. Pleasure melting me and any thoughts I might have had in a puddle of moans and desire.

As I ate from her hand, tasting her oddly honey-like musk combined with the sweet milk candy, she softly smeared the considerable amount of fluid left on her hand across my face.

An orgasm hit me, and my body trembled as much as it was able with as securely bound as I was to the device. But it wasn't over. And the machine simply continued to push me to another release.

-O-

No longer needing to return to the enchantment class, I found myself enrolled in an apprenticeship under Mr. Spleck.

It had been several weeks now, and I was getting quite proficient at cooking meals. I had even used the kitchen after-hours to mix my own milk into baked goods.

Daava reported that my cookies definitely gave her an energy boost—and that they were delicious as well. This made me quite happy.

Today, I walked in to see Mr. Spleck in the kitchen, wearing a bright grin. In his hands was a rather flat box. He said, “Lilly! You’ve been such a great help around here, I wanted to gift you something.”

I smiled excitedly, surprised at the gif. The gesture nearly made me tear up. “Thank you!”

Mr. Spleck handed it to me, seeming eager for me to open it.

I opened the box. Inside was a folded dress, nearly matching the black French-styled maid’s outfit that he wore. Mine, however, was a soft pink that matched my school robe.

“Oh my god!” I squealed, gently pulling it from the box.

Mr. Spleck began to bounce excitedly with me. He said, “Now we can match while we cook! And look, several aprons to change out too!”

It was true, there were three frilled aprons–much prettier than the ones I had been borrowing for the past few weeks.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I said, and hugged Mr. Spleck–who smiled delightedly.

By the time I changed, it was dinner time.

In my new outfit, I began to serve tables. When I first walked out of the kitchen, there were a few cheers. I blushed, smiled, and did my best to politely serve the other students their food.

I was pleased to find that the other students were very polite about their excitement. Most simply told me how cute my new dress was, and one student told me that this was now officially his favorite eatery on the Citadel … whatever that meant.

The only person who took it further was Daava–who was more than happy to squeeze my backside as I bent over to serve her food. She was also quick to look down my dress and ask me to spin around in it for her. As normal, I could tell that Daava was making a bit of an effort to try to seem natural at this level of sexual forwardness, but also that she was having fun.

I was having fun too.