It was the week following my 17^th birthday, as I recall. I was making my way home from school as I usually would any plain day. That day, however, was anything but a plain day.

‘I’m home.’ I greeted lazily as I stepped in. A rare sight it was, to see Mom and Dad so deep in conversation with their backs against the door. ‘Mom, Dad… I’m home?’ I repeated, to which they glanced over. Dad seemed stern, while Mom had fear and worry written all over her. ‘Lee Myeongwon,’ Dad called, ‘ come over here.’ I knew something was off. It’s never a good sign when your parents call you by your full name.

‘Earlier today,’ he began, ‘while your mom was bringing your clothes to your room, she found this under your bookshelf.’ He held out a picture of sorts. I immediately gulped; it was a cutout from the school magazine that I’d usually kept tucked between my books, though it must have slipped out somehow.  It was a picture of Andrew.

‘How do you explain a boy your age keeping a picture of another boy?’ He asked solemnly. I stood frozen, thinking hard of any way I could lip my way out of trouble. I would crack my lips open, yet I couldn’t manage any words.

‘Well?’ He asked again. Yet again, I could only stare at the floor

‘Honey…’ Mom interjected. ‘Maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves here…’

‘Why aren’t you answering me?’ Dad snapped. I glanced up and saw a hand speeding towards my face. Sharp, hot pain struck me in the cheek a split second later as I fell onto the door.

‘And you,’ Dad turned towards Mom, ‘you think of being soft on him now? Don’t you think we couldn’t have been any softer with him?

 ‘You’re not getting off the hook until I hear it from you!’ Dad continued.

‘Well, I could either tell you the truth or make up an excuse you won’t even believe anyway.’ I mumbled cynically. ‘It’s exactly how you think it is.’

                Mom covered her mouth in shock. Dad on the other hand seemed like he could barely breath steadily. ‘We gave you everything,’ Dad emphasized each word, ‘everything for you to be able to have a normal life. And this is how you repay us?’

‘Do you think I ever wanted to be like this? Do you think I’m like this because I chose to?’ I retorted, only to be slapped again on the same spot.

‘I will not take such insolence from any son of mine.’ Dad spat. ‘Neither will I accept any son of mine to be a disgusting homosexual!

‘You are not welcome here anymore! Even a beggar off the street would make a better son than you!’ He snapped.

                So there I was, sitting amidst all my belongings scattered around the porch on a chilly night. All my clothes, books, and tidbits were thrown haphazardly as was I, who had just been kicked out. The shock was more than I can process, and as such I felt void of emotion. Once or twice I would contemplate running to the street and crashing myself into the next passing car, though a buzz from my phone snapped me out of it. It was a text from Mom.

‘Stay where you are. I’ve called your brother and he’s coming to pick you up.’ She wrote.

                And right she was. Hyung came within half an hour or so, rushing out of the car and pulling me into a hug. ‘Miles, are you okay?’ He asked hastily.

‘I’m about as fine as I look.’ I replied curtly. ‘I mean, I’m not hurt or anything.’

                The drive back was as tense as it was quiet. As I dazed out the window, it felt as if the streetlights were mocking me. Suddenly the world seemed such a horrible place.

‘Normal… natural…’ I mumbled, breaking the silence and startling Hyung, ‘what does any of that mean, Hyung?

‘I know for a fact I was born like this…’ I continued, ‘shouldn’t that make me every bit natural and normal?

‘You know, I think… it’d do us all a favor if I was never around in the first place. Let me out so you can run me over, Hyung.

‘Hyung? Why aren’t you saying anything?’ I glanced over and immediately regretted everything I said, for what I saw was a pained expression unlike anything I had ever seen from him.

‘I- I’m sorry, Hyung, I didn’t mean any of that-’

‘Don’t… say things like that.’ Hyung whimpered.

                My brother, Lee Myeongjin -or as people would otherwise call him, Daniel- is 6 years older than me. Though he moved out for college 3-or-so years ago, we remained quite close -and he remains the only person I ever came out to. It would only make sense that he was the man to rely on in this situation, but I was overcome by guilt no less. He just about manages to make ends meet as a freelancer while juggling his responsibilities as an undergrad student. The last thing he could use is a freeloader.

‘It’s not much, I hope you don’t mind.’ Hyung remarked as he escorted me into his apartment. ‘Like I’m in any position to be picky anyways.’ I retorted. ‘But this isn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be.’ I added, to be courteous.

‘You’re gonna have to sleep on the sofa for now.’ Hyung said. ‘I’ll get you a folding mattress, but in the meantime you’re gonna have to make do.’

‘In any case…’ Hyung continued, pausing between his sentence, ‘…I guess this way you won’t have to take a half hour commute just to get to school.’

‘Silver lining, huh?’ I jested.