(AN: I just realized that I totally forgot about the young lady of the whatever sect. She’s just an insert filler character anyways, so just forget about her.)

[Name: Lys UItima] 

[Race: Human]

[Class: Battle Cultivator]

[Cultivation Level: -99999999th Grade Qi Gathering]

[Cultivation Method: Secret Ten-Thousand Myriad Heavenly Dao Buddhist Method]

[Slap Face Points: 0]

[System TIP: Don’t challenge or speak badly of the author!]

“Fuck this author,” I said to nobody in particular.

[2 strikes used. 1 more strike and you are permanently banned.]

“Arghhhhh.” I began to hate this stupid author more and more.

Anyways I needed to recover my cultivation.

Thus, I went into some cave somewhere and cultivated for a hundred bajillion million years.

And when I finally left the cave, I was back to 0th grade cultivation.

However, while the cave used to be surrounded by nature, over the course of a hundred thousand bajillion million gazillion years, a large city grew around my previous abode.

But as I was wandering the city, exploring, an arrogant young master appeared at the end of the road.

“Kill that indecently-dressed commoner over there!” he commanded.

I didn’t know he was referring to me until I looked down and realized that all my clothes had turned into dust over the course of a hundred thousand bajillion million gazillion centillion jillion fillion years.

And by the time I realized that they were trying to kill me, the guard’s sword was already over my head, waiting to be chopped down.

But I was the main character, so I obviously couldn’t die. 

And just as I expected, a book fell from the heavens and knocked the guard out.

The cover read: “Secret Technique Manual of the Secret Ten-Thousand Myriad Heavenly Dao Buddhist Sect.”

Apparently, way up in the immortal realm, the same young disciple that drunkenly lost the sect’s secret cultivation manual was being punished with death. However, the disciple managed to somehow escape his shackles and sneakily stole the sect’s secret battle technique manual. He was going to use it for himself and run away from the sect, but he was discovered right at that moment. Surrounded by many immortals with Heavenly Cultivator Celestial cultivation realms or something fancy like that, he knew he couldn’t escape.

So, in a last gambit, he yelled, “If I can’t get this manual, nobody can!” and chucked the book out of a dimensional portal. 

It travelled through dimensions all the way to the lowermost realm, and it landed right in front of me,

I quickly grabbed the book from the guard’s head and ran away.

The arrogant young master was seething in rage. He made a bounty on the naked handsome man with a six pack and a ten inch cock. “Just you wait, unknown person! You will pay for showing your goods in front of me!” he yelled to the sky.

Then he looked down into his pants and stared at his micropenis. He started to cry.

To be continued.

(AN: You guys are really going to enjoy the next chapter. I think. Well, I enjoyed it. As always, see you in 12 hours.)