Kayla studied the security images Cruncher pulled up on the screen. She was impressed with how far he’d gotten on her designs since this morning. He’d incorporated a few new ideas into them, and she wondered how she could apply it to other programs she’d worked on.

“How does it look?”

Kayla turned at the sound of Carl’s voice. “Fantastic. I think we’ve got everything locked down tight. I want to make a few more tweaks, but even I would have a hard time getting through this system now.” She beamed with pride. It was some of her best work. “I haven’t looked at the communication system yet though.”

“Soon. But you need to get some rest now.”

She started to object but fell silent at the look on his face. With a sigh, she stood up. Carl took a step toward her. “Do you need help?”

“No, I can do this.” She shook her head, squaring her shoulders in determination. “I need to do this.”

Carl kept pace with her as she made her way toward the crew’s quarters. Even though he didn’t insist on helping her, she enjoyed his reassuring presence. He was quieter than usual, though, and Kayla wondered about it.

“Is everything okay? You seem distracted.”

“I’m fine.” He darted a quick glance at her. “There is something I need to tell you though. I got a message from OmniLab earlier. They’re going to send someone out to talk about the petition against Ramiro. They’ll probably want to speak with you. I’m hoping you’ll be nice.”

Kayla rolled her eyes. Be nice? To a bunch of Omnis? “Are you asking me to be nice or kiss their ass? Because it’ll be a cold day in hell before the latter happens.”

He chuckled in spite of himself. “I suppose I’ll be thankful for nice.”

She winked at him and offered, “In that case, I’ll see what I can do.”

When they arrived at her private area within the crew’s quarters, he followed her inside and activated the privacy settings. Kayla raised her eyebrows. “Don’t tell me you’re going to get frisky with me while I’m recuperating,” she teased.

His mouth twisted into a grin. “As tempting as that would be, I’ll try to restrain myself. I wanted to let you know there’s a good chance they’re going to ask you about Pretz. I understand it’s painful for you, but you’ll need to tell them what happened.”

She sat on the edge of her bed. “Screw that. You want me to tell a couple of pompous Omnis about my personal life? Keep dreaming, pal.”

Carl opened her locker and took out the picture of Pretz. Her heart pounded. Why was he bringing this up again? He tried to hand it to her, but she pushed it away.

“Put it back.”

He put the picture on her lap. “Kayla, I want you to look at him. He meant a great deal to you. I’d like you to tell me about him.”

She stiffened. It was bad enough she’d poured her heart out to him before. She didn’t need to do it again. “I’m not interested in your games. Take it, Carl. Put it away. Leave the past in the past.”

He shook his head and said stubbornly, “He was important to you. That memory deserves to be honored.”

Kayla looked down at the picture. Pretz’s smiling face stared up at her, and she studied it for a long time. She traced her fingers over his image. She felt a pang of sadness, remembering his laughter. “Why are you pushing this, Carl?”

“It’s important for you to talk about it. The more you talk about it, the easier it’ll get. You’ve kept this bottled inside for almost a year. Don’t you think it’s time you let some of your pain out?”

He didn’t understand. It wasn’t just about losing Pretz. She’d lost part of herself when he died. “What do you know about it? You know absolutely nothing about losing someone you care about! He was one of the only people who ever gave me a second thought. Because of me, he’s gone. If I had only…” Her eyes welled with tears as she looked away.

“Kayla, it’s not your fault. It’s Ramiro’s and Vex’s fault. If it weren’t for them, he’d still be alive. You need to stop blaming yourself.”

Carl’s voice was full of compassion, and it made the heaviness in her chest even worse. Kayla put the picture aside, not wanting to look at it anymore. “Go away, Carl. I don’t want to talk about this.”

He ignored her request. Instead, he sat next to her and put his arm around her. She stiffened but didn’t pull away.

“What was he like?” he asked and put the picture back on her lap again.

He was torturing her. She wanted to lash out and push him away, but she doubted it would do any good. That tactic had proven ineffective with him. She hung her head in resignation. “He… he was the only person in Ramiro’s crew with an ounce of talent and charm.”

“You met him when he came to your camp?”

Kayla nodded, smiling at the memory and brushing tears out of her eyes. “Yeah, he was an impossible flirt. He used to wait for me outside Leo’s camp and follow me to our scavenge sites. He was incredibly annoying and sweet at the same time.”

“Was he the one who taught you how to work locks?”

“Mmhmm,” she murmured and traced his outline on the photograph. “I was already pretty good at locks, but he was amazing. He knew how competitive I was and turned it into a game. There was this stupid song he used to hum while he was working the locks. It drove me crazy because it was so distracting, but I’d love to hear it one more time.”

“What was it that you liked about him?”

Kayla sighed and leaned into Carl, letting his warmth surround her. “He loved being in the ruins. Although I think part of him said that because he knew how I felt about them. He used to sneak off from Ramiro’s camp to go scavenging with me. We would end up sitting there and talking for hours. He was such a dreamer.”

“What do you mean?”

“He always had these big plans for the future,” she explained with a laugh. “He wanted to one day run his own camp or make some kind of outrageous discovery and try to buy his way into the towers.”

“What about you? Did you want that too?”

She shook her head. “No. Until Pretz, I’d never thought about the future. If I spent all my time fantasizing about the future, I’d forget to live in the present. But he seemed to enjoy it, and I liked listening to him.” Kayla put the picture on the small table next to her bed. “I never told him I loved him. I didn’t even realize I did until after he was gone.”

Carl looked at her in surprise. “I’m sure he knew how much you cared for him.”

“Maybe,” she said in a quiet voice. She hoped he did. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life is far too unpredictable.”

“I agree, but that’s part of what makes it precious.” Carl reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. His hand caressed the side of her face, sending chills through her. “I should probably let you get some rest.”

“Carl, wait.” She put her hand on his arm to stop him. “Don’t go yet.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re still recovering, Kayla. You should try to get as much rest as you can. We can talk more tomorrow. The sooner you heal, the sooner you can go back into the ruins.”

“I know,” she said impatiently, but her thoughts weren’t on scavenging. In forcing her to confront her demons, he’d loosened something inside her.

What she felt for Carl wasn’t the same as what she’d felt for Pretz. There was no substitution. Her relationship with Pretz had been consummated in innocence. They’d both been blind to the realities of their harsh world. With Carl, there was no future, and he’d never make empty promises. In some ways, it made it easier. She could live fully in the moment with him and not worry about tomorrow.

Kayla leaned toward him and pressed her lips against his. When he didn’t immediately push her away, she wrapped her arms around him. There was only a moment of hesitation before Carl deepened the kiss and pulled her closer to him. She shifted herself so she was straddling his lap and could more easily tease his mouth with her lips.

He broke the kiss. “Kayla, you’re still injured.”

“Shut up, Carl.” She pushed him back on her bed. She didn’t want words right now. She needed to just… feel. Kayla kissed his neck and nipped at his earlobe while his hands roamed up her thighs toward her waist. She sat up and ran her fingers lightly over his chest before reaching down and pulling her shirt over her head. Tossing it across the room, she looked down at him intently, waiting to see if he would accept what she offered.