It had been quite a while since John had gotten some time alone with only his own thoughts to keep him company. As he entered the almost strange utter silence of his room, the last weeks flooded back to him. The quiet of his own mind lended only to the eruption of a violent riot inside it. Even then, he wasn’t sure why it had occurred. Rupturing through the corridors of his mind as if looking for an answer to some question that was so obvious it need not be said. Barely lingering on one topic at a time, those speeding thoughts all led to one thing. He grabbed at it desperately, trying to calm himself down. But that thought only served to strike him off balance as it wiped the others out. 

It was a random thought, or so John wanted to believe, but it was one empowered by recent events. He had never had the opportunity to truly answer it before, so it had held on despite the drastic change in his life. The same thought that had brought him to that lowly place in the first place, and he was still faced with no answer to the question that it posed about himself and his purpose there. 

'Who am I?' he wondered, again and again, like a hammer coming at the wall of his relative sanity. Grasping for an answer as much as his mind did moments ago. It had been years since a sense of stagnation had stripped him of his identity, but even the identity he had assumed in his isolation now felt strange. John was no longer that same lonely nerd he had been for so long, and that alone was a struggle to accept. His time in the Abyss had changed him, given him a new purpose, and perhaps a new identity. Maybe it was his choice as to what it would be, if the Abyss let him choose. But he knew just as well that the Abyss never worked out so easily. 

Suddenly, a pop-up appeared before him, breaking him out of his half stupor. It was almost as strange, but it was a welcome distraction. 

'There's more time. I'm still new to this whole thing. I don't need to decide, yet...' John would make a decision, whether the world would let him or not, but not now. Not when he still had so many questions to ask, and he started from that pop-up.

I’m sick of you ignoring pop-ups! From now on they’re only going to be delayed by combat. And you better look at them properly when they come up, I’m not writing this stuff for you to not use the information.

Concern about pissing off the apparent god that was giving him his powers was overridden by John’s curiosity at the sudden onset of popups. By the end, his entire vision was full of them. Despite them eventually setting with the most recent on top, they appeared in front of his eyes in no particular order, hiding one behind the other. 

The first one was another achievement. He hadn’t gotten one in a while, and the reward was quite welcome, as it gave a major boost to his MP regeneration, so John was glad. But at the same time, it all made him feel somewhat strange. Gaia was really on the other end of his powers, watching him, maybe constantly. It was scary to think how much impact she might really have on him, and what kind of god she might be. She had given him powers bordering on mind control, and that alone was a terrifying testament to her abilities and intentions. More than that, the achievement also indicated that there was more than one Mana type a person could have, given the main adjective. At first he was excited that he might be able to learn more powers, but then that thought also sickened him. 

’What other terrible things could I learn to do? Will I be able to resist those?’ he asked himself, not sure of the real answer, and not wanting to know. Instead, he turned to his curiosity, ‘anyways, I guess this means I have more questions to answer now. I’ll have to ask Ingrid about Mana types the next time I see her, but either way, I probably have access to the other answer right here,’ he shook his head before speaking, hoping he wouldn’t get an answer.

“Gaia? Are you doing all this?” it was almost banal to say that into the void, he knew the answer already, but he needed to get it from her too. To know that some god was really on the other side, affecting all this. 

You could say that.

That was all he was given, but it was enough. Both scaring and relaxing him at once. .“Are you talking to me directly now? There’s a few things I need to ask you about,” he asked with an almost demanding tone, hoping for a response, but getting none. That was when his thoughts turned back to the unsolvable, his legs shook under him, and his head felt foggy for a moment. From anger or fear, he wasn’t sure, but he was clearly more bothered by it than he wanted to admit. Either way, there wasn’t much he could do, so he sat down and tried to breathe steadily. 

His eyes searched around the room for something to latch onto. The last time he had looked around the room was when he didn’t have much time, so there were a couple of things he hadn’t noticed. On the other side of the room from the wardrobe stood a small dresser and nightstand, both being made of carved wood with elaborate figures of royalty he didn’t recognize and magic that didn’t make sense on it, still in the Victorian style.

John walked over to it, more wanting to distract himself than really curious as to what was inside. Opening the first drawer, he found several objects he didn’t recognize that looked like small crystals of various colors. In the second was a gold pocket watch, with his initials carved into it and strange markings on the inner part of the case. The marks showed the same clear signs of haste as the chair in the Council room, with the lines being just a bit too rough and his initials in very simple font.

’Someone had to make this by hand, didn’t they?’ disturbed by the implication, he quickly put it into his inventory for safekeeping, both to retain that work and to make sure he had it on hand if it had some other importance. 

The next few drawers had various assorted items one could use. Such as a handkerchief and a set of colognes. Each one smelled like a different flower, and each was grander and more fancy than the last. While they smelled well, they were also sickening, being treated like some kind of royalty made his stomach turn, but by now this all had relaxed him and more than all, it got his mind settled again. With that relative calm, he moved onto the next popup, which was now on the side of his vision.

Guild Task completed! Succeeded in stealing the documents and taking out two guards.

400 XP awarded.

He was happy to see that he did directly get some reward for his efforts from his own powers, but that was still not a large enough boost to level him up.

First Guild Task completed! You have defeated the golem and drawn the map.

400 XP awarded.

The next was more of the same, except for his previous task. Hopefully that meant he would get more for any future task. Along with another respectable XP boost, that made him thank his powers for cooperating with his chosen path. Before then he still wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t have to go out of his way to level.. XP is usually brought by relatively few things in standard RPGs, after all.

You levelled up: you are now level 6, +5 stat points

That was the most exciting popup out of all of them. He always needed more points, and by extent, more options. John decided he would assign them after looking at all of the other popups, however, just in case he got something equally interesting. So he quickly moved on to the first of a few more achievement popups.

It was quite strange. All of it. The achievements had always been generous, but the text was always sassy. Something about the text now felt different. Whether that was its strange directness and helpfulness, or something else, he wasn’t quite sure. Either way, he still had no idea where that Golem came from, and he did want to find out. He thought about that for a minute before deciding to ask the others the next day. There was more than that, however, that was the third time his powers mentioned a “Guild Task”. John guessed it was some kind of new quest category, or some other mechanic to do with the guild that he was not yet familiar with. He’d have to look into it later. In the meanwhile, he moved onto the next pop-up.

Gaia’s tone has definitely changed. For a while John wasn’t sure what it was, then a word popped into his mind.

’Huh, I guess she’s a bit of a Tsundere…’

HEY! NO I AM NOT!

Almost confirming his thoughts, the god responded, but he paid it no mind and laughed instead. It was funny, the god was just as much a person as he was. He felt a bit of the weight on his heart go free from that, maybe it was good to know she wasn’t some weird undefinable entity. 

The charisma boost was also appreciated, and wanting to get more help, he moved on again.

John felt like he had been hit in the stomach. The reminder of what happened with Alice was bittersweet, it ended well but it was still his fault. And he had not truly fixed it yet. His mind turned it over for a few seconds until he realized the last part was even more mysterious.

That was when he felt a cold shiver go across his body, and an unfamiliar itch started in his groin. It didn’t take long for his pants to become unusually tight, and he realized the god, or goddess had done exactly what she said. John couldn’t decide whether it was more creepy that she increased the size of his package in particular, or that she could manipulate his body like this, but he decided not to think more of it. He didn’t want to give her any ideas, and she could clearly read his mind. So he changed the topic by moving on.  

It definitely was enough, and a completion pop-up soon followed. John was amazed at how much progress there was that he had just not seen. He was ecstatic, but also annoyed at his own stupidity for not taking some time to look at it all beforehand. From now on, this would be far higher on his adapting priority list. 

You levelled up: you are now level 7, +5 stat points

Another level up came along, and this was just as welcome as the previous one. John was excited about the prospect of getting stronger, given all the challenges he had faced lately. But before using the points he had gained, he still needed to look at the last three popups. The next one was yet another quest that got a completion pop-up straight afterwards.

He had apparently completed both objectives, which was at least good to know, and the experience boost was nice. It also reminded him of the fact he hadn’t observed any of his team members yet. There was good reason not to, as he still wasn’t sure how detecting magic worked, so it was a stupid risk to take, and he didn’t want to risk alienating any of the others. Nonetheless, it was prudent to learn how to hide his magic. 

’That settles it, I’ll ask Ingrid,’ he decided to do that as soon as possible. It could be incredibly useful. Then he moved on to the next pop-up.

It was yet another interesting quest, and one he didn’t need to do much more than he was already planning to in order to complete. The optional reward also made it very worthwhile to complete, so he hoped he would be able to do so. More guild features was also an interesting idea, he wondered how exactly his powers would mesh with whatever privileges completing the training would give him here in the Council. Nonetheless, it would take some time before any of it would come to fruition, so he looked to the next popup.

Gravitas level task completed: Gravitas leveled up.

Gravitas continued to grow more powerful, but also more scary by the same amount. The social power to influence only came with more risks. It made him nervous, as more responsibility that he had never bothered with before kept piling on his shoulders. Leadership required trust, he knew that much, and he wasn’t sure he trusted himself. So why should anyone else. 

That anxiousness quickly turned to exhaustion, as he had finally reached the last popup and his energy began to fade. It dawned on him now that he had not dealt with all this when he had the time, back home in Springfield. Things distracted him, of course, but that was a common occurrence now. He swore to use the next break from the Abyss more wisely as he fell onto the bed and into a deep slumber.

His eyes closed shut as quickly as his body moved.