= CHRIS POV =
“Be your best friend again?” I repeated, trying to wrap my head around the request.
I didn’t want to be best friends with Sarah. I wanted…
“You said anything within your power,” Sarah said, her lip trembling so much I didn’t think, I just reached out and cupped her face, not wanting her to fall apart over something like this.
“Don’t cry” I gasped, leaning forward my eyes searching hers “Sorry just… explain”
I watched as Sarah’s throat bobbed as she swallowed hard, her hands clenching in her lap as she tried to find the words.
“Y-You were my best friend… once… couldn’t you be that person again? J-Just until midnight tonight? I’ve been dying to talk to someone about the things I’ve been going through” Sarah said, her eyes clenching shut for a moment, as if the darkness could hide the pain I saw behind her eyes.
“I miss the heart-to-heart chitchats. I miss the cuddling and I miss…I miss us” She said like I wasn’t sitting right her, holding her face like I was trying to hold her together with my bare hands.
I stared down at her face. Her eyelashes were so long. She looked so small and delicate in the palm of my hands…
“Why can’t you just tell me? I’m right here” I replied hoarsely.
I didn’t want to go back.
Being in that zone, that goddamn friend zone, hurt like razors in my heart.
At least here I didn’t have to pretend that I liked her less than I did.
At least here, I could feel everything all at once, instead of suppressing it like a boulder on top of my soul.
“Please…” came the soft, pleading sound of Sarah on her last breath, her eyes still firmly closed, as if she was robbing me of her eyes in order to get me to comply.
I pulled back, my hands balling into fist.
I hated this. But I…
I sighed and sat back.
I could do this. Just until midnight…I could do this…
“Sure, starting from now, I’m back to being…being old’ Chris, your very best friend,” I said, trying to sound enthusiastic, but it just felt like I was chewing on cardboard.
Like a reward I was holding out for, Sarah’s eyes fluttered open and for a moment, I felt like I had earned it with how beautiful she looked when she was delighted.
Eyes shining, she leaned in, and the softest most gentle giggle escaped that mouth of hers…
God I wanted to die…
“Great!” Sarah said and stood up. “Then first, let’s go to my room; I want to sit and eat in comfort,” Sarah said eagerly, as if everything that had happened between us over the last few months; the requests, the sleeping in the same bed…the hug…all dissolved away, and we were back in uni, just a two girls orbiting around each other…amicably.
I felt that familiar tightness rising up in my chest.
I slowly rose.
I…I wasn’t sure If I could do this anymore…
Then Sarah turned, and smiled up at me.
It was as if the sun had opened up, and her whole world had blossomed in front of my eyes.
I glanced at the clock.
Five more hours of this torture.
“Can you bring us something to drink? I have a lot to share tonight, and this sushi would taste so good with some white wine” Sarah said and winked, her arms full of the food we had brought home, and then disappeared into her room.
I groaned, scrubbing my face with my hands.
Sarah sober was already making me insane.
Sarah drunk? This whole situation started with a drunk Sarah months ago…and here I was again, bringing her the wine.
I felt like I was back at the beginning, playing the good best friend again.
At least I didn’t have to drive her home.
I grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle of white wine from the wine storage and then went to join her in her room.
I paused in the doorway, I just…stared.
The guest room had been completely transformed into a cute gamer-girl aesthetic room, with anime posters on the wall, neo-vintage white furnishings, and a cute white bed with pink sheets.
Sarah was seated on the fluffiest looking carpet with her back leaning against the bed frame, and she had placed all the food on a small coffee table in front of her.
“Wow, when did you get the place redecorated?” I asked, a little taken aback. Just how much of her life did I miss, worrying about problems that didn’t exist, because I wanted her so badly?
“Two weeks ago,” Sarah said happily, unboxing the sushi bento boxes and tearing open the little packets of sushi soya sauce, pouring them out into tiny containers for use to did the sushi in.
“All this happened, and you didn’t tell me about it?” I frowned, walking over to the table, linger as I stared down at her pointedly.
“I did! I asked for permission, and you gave it, but then you also told me not to talk to you after midnight again, and that is the only time you come back home from work. So yeah, how would you know?” Sarah piped up indignantly and pouted, emerald eyes flashing angrily.
I sank down onto the carpet across from Sarah and sighed. “I…don’t recall that but, I can be an asshole when I’m tired so…I am so sorry. I think I said that out of exhaustion; I didn’t mean it,” I said and placed the wine and the glasses down.
I tried my best to recall when that conversation had taken place, but everything was just a blur of work and the scent of Sarah’s soft skin on the sheets…
Yeah…the minute I hit the bed, I was out cold, dreaming of what I wish I could do to her.
“Hmph, are there any other things you’d like to tell me that you didn’t mean? Like not being my best friend anymore, for example?” Sarah asked pointedly, but I busied myself to pour the wine for us instead of replying.
“Anyway, what do you think of the room?” Sarah asked eagerly as she leaned forward, plucking up the wineglass I had filled to take a sip.
“I love it. Honestly? It’s so you. You did great,” I smiled, taking a long look around to really take it all in, “You got Ms Takahashi to help with the changes right?”
Sarah's smile just got bigger and brighter. “Thank you. I’m so glad you love it. And yes~ She and the team were real lifesavers.”
Before I knew what was happening, Sarah scooted over, right into my personal space, knees knocking as she crowded me against the bed frame, her eyes sparkling as she wedged herself against my side like old times.
“Now, let’s eat. I need to tell you all about this horrible landlord I have and my new awkward work arrangements,” Sarah said cheekily as she popped salmon sushi into her mouth.
I rolled my eyes. Pulling my arm back I rested it above her, on the surface of the bed…
“Just like old times…huh?” I murmured, looking down at her like we were 19, and the world wasn’t as hard and defined as it was now.
Sarah giggled, tilting her head up, soft brown curls framing her face, her mouth full of sashimi as she nodded, completely oblivious of how she was unravelling me all over again.
Love my stories? Consider becoming my human! Check out my ko-fi for more information about how to support me and my work~
