= SARAH POV =

Chris looked up at me from the bed. Her eyes stared at me with such an unreadable expression. 

Was she still upset with me?

I put my hand out before she could say anything.

“Chris, I have a confession, I’ve been hiding something from you for our whole friendship, and I… I need to be honest with you before we go any further,” I said nervously.

Chris stared up at me, her expression confused and a little annoyed.

“No way, you’ve told me everything. Even stuff I really, really… didn’t want to know,” Chris replied and snorted. “Like TMI Sarah about the stuff with your exes”

“Right…my exes…,” I said and bit my lip, looking away from her and rubbing my arm nervously “So you know how I used to talk about having such a good time with them? I kind of lied about that”

“What are you talking about? How hard is it to have sex with a guy? Aren’t they usually the ones 100% into it?” Chris asked, folding her arms.

“Well, not really when I start laughing in the middle of it or keep changing positions cause my leg gets cramps or gets itchy…and sometimes the balls smell, and I kind of push them a bit too painfully cause I don’t want deal with them in my face…or-“ I started.

“Omg, please stop. Please. I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing this. Why are you telling me this?” Chris said, standing up and walking over to me.

I backed up “Because…” I started, my fingers curling into the fabric of my camisole, needing to find something to hold onto, “ I think you want sex” I said, my lips trembling as I gazed up at her, “ And honestly I want that too, but I’m not into having like…some kind of long-term relationship with you” I said, my voice shaking as I gazed up at her. 

Christ froze, her brow furrowed in thought.

“Sure, I never asked you…why would you even assume that?” She asked, though her expression became a little darker, her arms crossing as she stood, resting her weight on one leg as she glared at me.  

I shrugged “Well, you’re always so intense, and you kind of keep telling me that “I’m yours” and “I belong to you” - sounds pretty permanent to me”

Chris ran a hand through her hair. I felt like I could see the muscles in her face twitching.

“That’s because, under the contract, you are-”

“And then what about the request back there? The one about erasing my feelings for Ms Jun?”

“It’s a request, I don’t have to explain myself” Chris replied nonchalantly

“Chris!” I exclaimed frustratedly, pacing up and down. 

“Ok let’s focus back to the topic” I said exasperatedly

Chris smiled ruefully, crossing her arms “Sure, back to the topic. What was it? No strings attached sex or something?” 

“Yes! I mean, yes…but I have a really good reason for wanting it!” I exclaimed, feeling like I was never going to get it out if Chris kept making me run around the topic.

Chris raised an eyebrow and I schooled myself, gathering the courage to just put it all out there.

“Chris, I need help. Teach me, how to have, lesbian sex” I said firmly “I want to start dating girls, and I want to be good at it”

“You…wanted to have sex with your best friend of seven years because what… you needed someone you trust to teach you how to have sex…with girls?” Chris asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Yes,” I said. Gosh, if it was so easy for her to understand, I should have just said that from the start.

Chris blinked, then stepped back “ No. Are you serious?”

I clasped my hands together. “Yes! You got it! I’m at my wit's end.  I’m bad at sex, ok? And I thought that since you are so good at everything, maybe I could learn how to have sex from you”   I said and sighed, my face falling as Chris looked at my like I had grown a second head. 

 “Look, I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate. I’ve tried everything, and I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but at 25 years old, I still suck.”

“Hey,” Chris said, and I could feel her hand on my shoulder. “Aren’t you just being really hard on yourself? Maybe you and your previous partners just needed to find a certain…groove. Maybe you weren’t in sync with them or something”

“No, you don’t understand,” I said, brushing off her hand and stepping further away, ashamed at having to admit to this at all, “I didn’t realize just how ignorant I was, not only of how to please them but also how to feel pleasure from them. I found myself checking out or being too forceful and hurting them, and when I tried to make up for it, overcompensated by being extra energetic when getting them off. It’s been an abysmal experience” I explained with a heavy sigh. 

“But with you, even though we’re just friends, it’s a whole different experience. My heart gets all fluttery, and I feel hot and sexy…It’s like I stop thinking and start feeling and…I want others to feel the same way I feel around you," I said and smiled, hoping that my earnest feelings would get across to her.

Chris backed off and burst into a hearty laugh.

“Oh my god. Sarah. Sarah, what the hell?” Chris said and doubled over, holding her knees like they were life support.

 “I’m so sorry. I tried to be supportive, but this is just too funny.

“Sarah… you did all this just so that you could, what, understudy a lesbian? Take a lesbian trial course with what, an A-class student? Are you insane?” Chris asked, looking up at me through tears.

“Well, aren’t you an A-Class student? The entire time we were at the university, you had your pick of every girl on the campus. Everyone came out of our dorm room after a session with you, literally glowing! –“

“A session? You consider my relationships sexual sessions? Sarah…” Chris said and stood up, wiping tears from her eyes.

 “Sex is not some kind of lab session where you study the biology of your partner as if they were a specimen on a petri dish. You do realize when they say two people have Chemistry, it’s not about atoms and molecules?” Chris explained “ Omg…I think I need to sit down,” Chris sighed and returned to the bed.

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