As soon as Ryan’s half-asleep brain registered that neither the ceiling over him nor the bed under him were his, he slammed his eyes shut, afraid of breaking whatever spell had him believing he’d spent the night with another guy.

A gorgeous guy who thought he was hot and didn’t laugh him out of the apartment when he couldn’t unclench. Literally.

It wasn’t long before his bladder forced his hand, though, and he opened his eyes more slowly. He was still in Jay’s bedroom—in Jay’s bed—though Jay wasn’t.

It’s his apartment. He can’t just up and leave the morning after… Can he?

He rolled out of the bed and shuffled to the bathroom. There was a clean, maroon washcloth on the counter with a sticky note that had Ryan’s name at the top.

for your face :)

An arrow under the note pointed to a bottle of micellar water and a half-full sleeve of cotton rounds. Ryan looked up at his reflection and was mortified to see the smudged eyeliner that really emphasized the emo look he’d had going on the night before, only now it was tacky. He looked back at the sticky note and smiled at the thoughtful gesture. It helped ease some of his anxiety about Jay’s absence.

When he ventured back into the bedroom, Ryan realized there was noise coming from the apartment beyond the closed door. And the smell of something cooking. He gathered his clothes and set them at the foot of the bed. After extracting the mesh shirt from the button-down, he pulled the latter on and did up every other button, leaving it plenty open at the top. He took longer to consider his jeans. He looked good in them, but they weren’t the most comfortable morning-after hangout clothes. He glanced down at his bare legs below his boxers and shrugged to himself. They’d seen each other’s dicks not twelve hours ago—more than seen.

Ryan grabbed his phone from the pocket of his jeans and took a deep breath before venturing out into the apartment.

The small bedroom had been plainly furnished and lacked any wall décor, so he was surprised to see the living room walls tastefully covered in photos, art, and a few tour posters from a decade ago. Ryan would have been a pre-teen at the time most of them were new.

How old is this guy?

“Morning.”

Ryan jumped and turned to see Jay at the stove in his little kitchen, dressed in slim fit joggers and a dark blue tank top. He wasn’t looking at Ryan, so he must have just caught a glimpse of him.

“Morning,” Ryan said hoarsely and walked over to the card table set with two glasses of water and forks. There was another sticky note in the middle of one place, this one with a phone number that had the same area code as Alexis’. Ryan slid into that chair and took a drink of water while unlocking his phone with his other hand.

“Eggs and toast alright? I don’t have any coffee, sorry.”

“Yeah, and no problem. Thanks.” He finished saving Jay’s contact info and sent his first text.

nice butt

Jay’s phone buzzed on the counter, and he leaned over to check it, then wiggled his ass. Ryan grinned as last night’s giddiness returned.

They each ate their first few bites in silence, but Ryan decided to break it before the awkwardness sent him spiraling. “So…”

Jay’s bushy brows lifted expectantly as he chewed the bite of toast he’d just taken.

“What’s the, uh, etiquette with this sort of thing?” Ryan dropped his gaze to his plate as his cheeks warmed with embarrassment. “I’ve, uh, never hooked up with someone within hours of meeting them.”

“Your first guy and your first hookup.” Jay smirked. “I feel special.” He took a long drink from his glass, and Ryan let himself watch the bob of his throat as he swallowed. Jay gave him a knowing look as he put his glass back down. “Well, if I didn’t disappoint, I’d like to ask you out on an actual date.”

“You disappoint?” Ryan spluttered. “If anyone was a disappointment last night, it was me! I’m lucky you didn’t laugh in my face or kick me out.”

Jay’s pale eyes twinkled with mischief as he chuckled. “You’re cute when you get flustered.” Before Ryan could respond, Jay reached across the little table and covered his hand. “But you didn’t disappoint, Ryan. I enjoyed myself, really. Did you?”

Ryan glanced down at their hands—a fine layer of dark hair on the back of Jay’s, his fingers a little thicker than Ryan’s—then back up. “Yeah, I did. And if you were to ask me out on a date, I’d probably say yes.”

“Probably?” Jay scoffed in mock offense as he withdrew his hand.

They lapsed into a more comfortable silence as they finished eating. Ryan periodically glanced up, and he almost always found Jay watching him. Each time Jay was caught staring, he just smiled.

“Elephant in the room,” Ryan said after Jay brought their empty plates to the sink. Jay turned around and leaned back, bracing his hands on the counter. Ryan had to snap his attention away from the way the muscles in his arms flexed. “What has Alexis told you about me?”

Jay shrugged. “Not much really. He didn’t want to spoil anything in case he did ever manage to introduce us. Mostly that you’re a good guy and he thought we’d get on. I’m guessing he never mentioned me to you?”

Ryan winced and shook his head, but Jay didn’t seem bothered by this.

“He’s protective,” Jay offered, answering the unspoken question of why. He pushed off the counter and collected their empty glasses.

Ryan retreated to the bedroom to use the bathroom one more time and pull on his jeans. Jay walked him to the door, and when Ryan stood up from lacing his boots, Jay caught him in a brief, soft kiss. “You’ve got a pretty nice butt too.”

An embarrassingly loud laugh bubbled up from Ryan’s chest and he shoved Jay’s solid chest. After stepping across the threshold, he turned around, catching Jay’s attention before the door closed. “I like Southeast Asian foods. Thai, Vietnamese, Filipino.” Ryan shrugged. “In case you need ideas.”

Jay rolled his eyes with a smile and shut the door.

Ryan was buzzing to talk to Alexis, but his roommate was out. He turned to the task of showering and was frustrated to find himself still alone by the time he got dressed. He had coursework to do, but he knew he’d have no hope of getting anywhere with it until he’d talked to someone about last night.

He scrolled through his phone looking for alternative options, but none seemed viable. He considered calling Tim, but he had the dreadful thought that his high school friend might not want to hear about Ryan’s sexcapades with a man. Would he be upset Ryan hadn’t come out alongside him? Would he be jealous? Worse, what if Tim turned out to be transphobic? Not that Ryan had to say anything about Jay being trans.

He finally settled on calling the one person whose reaction he could predict: his older sister.

“Hey, Rye Bread! Everything alright?”

“Hey, Dani. Yeah, everything’s good. Great actually. I think.” Ryan sat on the edge of his bed to stop himself pacing. “I need to tell you something, and after you’re done giving me shit, I could really use your advice.”

“Oh?” Her grin was audible in that single sound.

Ryan winced preemptively. “I…sort of hooked up with a guy last night.”

Silence. Then, “Holy fucking shit. It’s about damn time!”

Ryan groaned and flopped back across his bed. “Of course you knew.”

“Knew what? That my kid brother has a touch of the fag?”

“Dyke,” Ryan shot back.

Dani snorted. “Rye Bread, everyone knew. Why do you think Mom and Dad were so shocked when you told them about your first girlfriend?”

“I still like girls!” He groaned inwardly at how ridiculously defensive he sounded. “And I’ve known I like guys for a while. I just didn’t have the balls to do anything about it.”

“Well congrats on finally growing a pair. So who did who? Because Elle owes me twenty bucks if—”

“Neither,” Ryan cut her off. He didn’t feel shame about wanting to be fucked; he just didn’t want to give his sister the satisfaction of being right. He sighed and switched the call to speaker, setting the phone next to his head. He rubbed his face and groaned. “We tried. He tried. I couldn’t… I couldn’t relax enough.”

“Oh, hon.” For once, Dani sounded genuine. “It’s alright. This is a big step for you. If he made you feel like shit—”

“He didn’t.” Ryan slid his hands down until his fingertips were on his lips. He smiled at the memory of Jay’s fingers there, his lips, his cock- Ryan cleared his throat and pulled his hands from his face. “He was really sweet about the whole thing. And we did other stuff. Still got off. He let me stay over, cooked me breakfast.”

“Damn. And this was a hookup?”

“I mean, yeah? Technically? Alexis set it up. Jay—the guy—he and Alexis are close friends. Jay said Alexis has wanted to introduce us for a while but didn’t want to push me before I was ready.” He was starting to feel fluttery again and couldn’t stop grinning. “He wants to take me on an actual date.”

“Is there a catch? Like is he way older? A bad kisser?”

“Very much not a bad kisser. And I think he’s a little older, but not a creepy amount. Oh, and did I mention he’s fucking gorgeous? Fit—really fit—not in an excessive bodybuilder way, but solid.”

Dani let out an impressed whistle. “Baby bro really hit the jackpot.”

“I know, and I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Ryan rolled over and picked up his phone, switching it to video call.

Dani was sitting at the table in her apartment wearing, Ryan assumed, one of her girlfriend’s baggy band shirts. Her short hair was the same light brown as his but curly, and she shared his hazel eyes behind her glasses.

“What am I missing?” Ryan asked, trying not to sound pitiful. “Like, this sort of thing doesn’t happen, does it? Perfect people don’t exist.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “Rye Bread, I’m gonna need you to take a giant breath and a bigger chill pill. You and this Jay guy hooked up once. He sounds like a decent guy, yeah, but don’t go calling him perfect. You don’t even know him, not really. Just enjoy yourself. Be safe—duh—but have fun. Would you be this anxious having the same kind of connection with a woman?”

“Some?” Ryan grimaced. “Alright, no, probably not.”

“Hey, even if it doesn’t work out with Jay—and I’m not saying it won’t, but if it doesn’t—you just opened a big door for yourself—to be more yourself.” Dani offered a sincere, reassuring smile. “I’m happy for you, and proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Ryan said, feeling a bit bashful at his sister’s praise, like he was a little kid winning the science fair again. “And thanks for not giving me too much shit.”

“Oh, don’t you worry. I’m not done. Just let me know once you tell Mom and Dad.”

Ryan flipped her off, and they both laughed.

*

Alexis let himself into Jay’s apartment shortly after noon, calling out to announce himself. He set his bag on the couch and made his way to the kitchen to inspect what clues there were as to how his best friend and his roommate’s night had gone. He was pleased to find two glasses and two plates in the sink. He fetched a clean glass for himself and filled it from the filtered pitcher in the fridge.

“Hey,” Jay greeted as he emerged from the bedroom. His glee was almost nauseating, like a dessert that was too sweet. He grinned at Alexis like a fool. “He stayed over.”

“I gathered.” Alexis tipped his head toward the dirty dishes in the sink, and they moved to sit on the couch.

Jay looked like a kid with his legs drawn to his chest, arms wrapped around them, chin resting on his knees. “I’m almost mad you kept him from me so long,” Jay teased. “He’s such a sweetheart. Nervous as hell, but eager. Really, really eager. And when he gets flustered!” Jay buried his face in his knees with a delighted groan.

“He is rather cute when he’s embarrassed,” Alexis agreed.

“He’s adorable.” Jay lifted his head, and his eyes lit up with a hungry delight. If he’d had a tail, it would be wagging. “And he smells fucking incredible—especially when he’s embarrassed.”

“Well, don’t overdo it,” Alexis cautioned mildly. “You don’t want to scare him off.”

Jay’s excitement cracked with apprehension. “When do you think I can tell him?”’

The question was a bit alarming so soon, but Alexis supposed he ought to have expected it. “Not yet, not for a while. Not unless you want to scare him off.”

Jay drooped like a withered flower, but he nodded. “I just…I don’t want to fuck this up, Lex, but I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Or yourself,” Alexis said. “Go on at least one date with him. Get to know him, and let him get to know you.”

Jay lifted his head a bit. “You know him, though. How do you think he’ll react?”

Alexis sighed. Jay knew he didn’t have the firm answers he wanted, but he of course asked anyway. “I think he’ll be much less likely to run away if he knows you.”

Jay nodded morosely, then twisted around to lay on the couch, still semi-curled up. Alexis leaned over and stroked his friend’s hair, rubbing small, soothing circles behind his ear.

*

Jay was grateful for Alexis’ company and reassurance that afternoon. They ordered pizza and spent some time gaming before his friend left. The apartment felt empty and too quiet, so Jay grabbed his headphones and blasted the music as loud as his ears could tolerate. He eventually wandered back into the bedroom where his usual blanket still lay bundled next to his closet. He could still smell the precum Ryan had leaked onto it, and it made his mouth water and his core tighten with heat.

He was pathetic, and at that moment, he mostly didn’t care. He turned off his music and shed his clothes and headphones. He spread the blanket on the bed and simultaneously pulled out from under it the mesh shirt Ryan had accidentally left behind that morning. Jay homed in on the spot that smelled most like Ryan. After lubing up one hand, he lay down and pulled that section of the blanket over his face.

Jay closed his eyes, picturing last night clear in his mind. His transferred most of the lube to his flaccid cock before grabbing the right sight of his sack, pumping his cock hard as quickly as he could. He held it tight but kept his strokes slow at first.

He’d lied to Ryan about finishing last night. He’d come close—closer than he’d expected—but he hadn’t cum. He knew it was unlikely, and he didn’t mind. Frotting with Ryan had felt amazing, and Jay had relished the desperate little noises and expressions Ryan had made. The things he wanted to do to that man…

After groaning into the blanket, he let go of it and grasped around blindly for the mesh shirt. Once he had his fingers hooked on it, he stuffed nearly the whole thing in his mouth, then pressed the blanket back to his face.

He started leaking from his cock and smeared it together with the lube, smoothing the mixture over the head and steadily down the shaft, then back up and repeated the process. He enjoyed the slow build, enjoyed frustrating himself, holding back despite the part of him that wanted to race to the finish line.

He envisioned the moment he would finally be able to sink his cock into Ryan’s ass, to slide it slowly in and out, frustrating them both, making Ryan squirm and beg. He couldn’t wait to make Ryan beg for his cock.

His next groan, muffled though it was by Ryan’s mesh shirt, was a lower rumbling noise. He moved his hand a little faster and growled. It wasn’t good enough.

Jay scrambled up and repositioned on the bed. He shoved one of his pillows—the pillow Ryan had used—under the spot on his blanket and folded himself over it, hugging the pillow through the blanket and pushing it up against his cock. Slow thrusts quickly turned into frenzied humping, his own thick fluids coating the spot where Ryan’s cock had leaked. He was on the edge—had been on the edge since last night.

When he couldn’t take it anymore, Jay leaned his weight onto one forearm and reached under him with the other hand. He went for the left side of his sack first, fumbling only a moment before finding the second, far less used bulb placed there. He quickly pumped up the knot at the base of his cock, then grabbed the bulge and tugged firmly, imagining it in Ryan’s ass, locking them together.

Jay came with a howl, his voice muffled by the mesh shirt. He kept the pressure on through the crashing waves of his orgasm, biting down on the shirt as his hips jerked into and against his grip.

As pleasure subsided and his mind began to clear, Jay found himself sprawled face-down on his bed, hand still loosely wrapped around his cock. He was sorely tempted to let himself sleep like that, collapsed in the mess of his lewd fantasies.

Unfortunately, he had an early Monday ahead of him, and he was bound to get distracted if he had to clean himself up the next morning. He decided he had time, though, and remained a little longer with Ryan’s scent and his hopes for their next encounter.