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“So, what’s the plan for today?” Thanatos asked.

He smiled down at Zagreus, running a hand through his pure black hair. They were upon Zagreus’ bed and enjoying the few minutes of respite that his father would allow.

Zagreus looked up. “Cuddle for a few more minutes. Then I’ll go a room over, put on those boxing gloves and try my luck at testing father’s security systems again. Probably make it through Tartarus without too much of an issue.”

Megaera snorted. “Pardon?”

She was laying on Zagreus’ other side, wedging him between his two partners. Where Thanatos was stroking his hair, Meg instead rested a tender hand upon his side.

“I’d hope that I haven’t been slipping up so much that you would consider escaping Tartarus… easy.”

Zagreus rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine. After a hard fought and narrowly won victory over the Guardian of Tartarus…”

Megaera smiled and nodded, giving him permission to continue.

“After that,” he said. “I’ll then storm my way through Asphodel where I might even see you, Thanatos?”

He looked up at his boyfriend.

Thanatos smirked. “I could be convinced to make a visit. Though honestly, I’d need something in exchange…”

“Like what?” Zagreus asked. He leered at his boyfriend and rested a hand against his chest. “Surely, there has to be something I could offer?”

“Ambrosia?” Thanatos asked.

Zagreus hummed. “That seems a little pricey just to get some help making it out of Asphodel. What about something a bit more affordable?”

He allowed his hand to trail down Thanatos’ body, gliding along his toned chest and resting against the bottom of his abs.

Thanatos' expression slipped, a little red entering his complexion. “Are you trying to win me over with sexual favours, Zag?”

“That’s extremely unethical, Zagreus,” Megaera interjected. She shook her head quite solemnly though it was hard to hide her very pronounced smirk.

“We might need to report this to your father,” Thanatos warned.

“Or we might…” Meg reached up, cradling Zagreus’ throat in her hand. “Need to correct that problematic behaviour ourselves. Can’t have you getting yourself into trouble after all.”

“Please,” Zagreus whispered.

His face was practically on fire, redder than even the magma rivers of Asphodel.

Both of his partners were like wolves, smelling their prey. They wedged Zagreus even tighter between them. As he looked up, he saw the dangerous look they were both sharing.

It seemed like they were about to act when they heard the curtains, leading to his bedchamber, flutter open.

In a heartbeat, they all drew away, sharing the bed in a more equitable manner. Zagreus took a couple breaths, trying to recover as their new guest entered.

“Oh Prince!” Dusa said, fluttering into the room. “Is this a bad time?”

Thanatos shook his head. “We were just about finished here, Dusa.”

She looked skeptically at the prince; whose face still felt incredibly warm. However, he nodded, dispelling some of this skepticism.

“You got a letter,” she said.

Megaera snorted. “You get mail down here?”

Zagreus shrugged. “I guess we do.”

He lifted a hand from under the covers, holding it out. Dusa passed him the letter before fluttering away towards the curtain.

“I guess I’ll just be leaving you three to uh…” She giggled nervously. “To get to know each other.”

“Thank you, Dusa,” Zagreus said.

With that she slipped out of the room, leaving the three of them in relative privacy.

“I really need to see if the house contractor will fashion me a door,” Zagreus murmured.

Thanatos smirked. “It’d be nice. I’m always terrified that someone can hear us…”

“Nyx does stand right outside the room,” Meg commented.

Thanatos shuddered. “I would like to avoid thinking about that, thank you very much.”

Megaera simply stuck out her tongue at him.

Zagreus looked at the letter. It was made from some kind of paper that seemed to glow with an ethereal quality. It felt warm and soft, reminding him of Elysium of all things.

Then he flipped it over, seeing that the address was done in a golden ink with a gemstone stamp affixed to the top right.

 

Theseus and Asterius

7 Champion’s Lane

Elysium

96024

 

The Daemon and Company

House of our fine Lord Hades

The Depths of the Underworld

00001

 

“What the…” Zagreus shook his head. “Why did they send me a letter?”

Megaera shrugged. “Why don’t you open it and find out?”

“What if it’s boobytrapped?” Zagreus asked.

“Why would they boobytrap it?” Thanatos replied, gently kneading into Zagreus' shoulder with his hand. “Seems like an awful lot of hoops to jump through just to kill you literal steps away from the River Styx.”

“Well, if it is boobytrapped, I’m at least taking you both down with me,” Zagreus murmured.

He popped open the envelope, wincing as he honestly expected some strange poison to come spewing forth. Instead, the only thing that came out was a letter that shimmered with the same ethereal quality.

Zagreus unfolded it.

Dear Blackguard,

Asterius has instructed me to inform you, that we would like to have you and your partners over for an evening of food, drinks, and reverie.

While I would normally ask that you bring your own wine, I doubt that the conditions are honestly ripe for it down there. As such, we will be catering this entire event.

No, no, don’t thank me.

Zagreus cocked a brow. “Why does he write like this is a conversation.”

“I don’t know. He’s just weird,” Thanatos muttered.

Asterius himself will be providing the food, and trust me, he is a chef of the highest calibre.

Anyways, dinner will be at seven tomorrow, though feel free to arrive earlier if you desire.

Afterwards, I look forward to besting you in the arena, so that your precious lovers may see you defeated.

Thank you,

The First King of Athens.

Conqueror of Many Beasts.

Patron of Dionysius’ Boon (amongst many others).

Theseus

Zagreus closed the letter. “So are we…”

“I mean I would like to see Asterius,” Megaera said.

Thanatos nodded. “It has been a while since I’ve actually seen him.”

“Asterius is pretty cool,” Zagreus admitted. He then sighed. “Is there any chance, one of you can just teleport me to Elysium instead of making me fight my way out of hell to go to a dinner party?”

Thanatos and Meg looked at each other, both of them shaking their heads.

“No, not a chance.”

“Nope.”

Zagreus growled. “Oh, come on!”

---

It was easy to forget that each realm of the underworld was more than just an arena for Zagreus to fight his way out of. Each floor was the home to a whole community of the dead. Tartarus was where those who committed evil resided, Asphodel was where those who did neither good nor evil went, and Elysium was where the just and righteous were rewarded.

While Zagreus mostly knew of the well manicured and statue-ladened sites of battle, he had never really been to the residential part of Elysium before.

The Shades here resided in neat homes, each with well-manicured lawns of ethereal grass and flowerbeds with all sorts of exotic species.

The Shades here looked at the entourage warily, likely knowing of the Prince from his many adventures through this realm. And his companions, through the stories that crawled their way up from Asphodel and Tartarus.

“They’re glaring,” Zagreus murmured.

Thanatos glanced at him. “And does that bug you?”

“Makes me feel out of place,” Zagreus said, shaking his head. “Are we nearly there?”

Meg looked at the nearest house. “Well, we started at ninety, now we’re at twenty-four Champion’s Lane. So yes, yes we're nearly there.”

They continued for a few more houses, until they spotted their destination coming up on the left. It was easy enough to pick out as there was a minotaur hovering over a flowerbed, pulling out weeds.

Zagreus came up to the picket fence, leaning over it. “Asterius!”

The minotaur stirred, looking over his shoulder. He smiled upon seeing who it was.

“Oh Prince!” he called. “I’m glad that you three could make it.”

He grunted as he got to his hooves, clopping over to the fence.

“I was worried that Theseus’ letter would not arrive,” he said, bending over and delicately opening the fence gate and ushering them inside. “I hope that the journey here wasn’t too rough.”

“Not at all,” Megaera said, offering him a playful smile.

Zagreus snorted. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who had to fight their way out of Tartarus and Asphodel.”

“How was Alecto, by the way?” Meg teased. “As lovely as ever?”

“As painful and sadistic as ever,” Zagreus murmured.

“Well, you’re the one who said that getting out of Tartarus was easy,” Thanatos said, smirking at him. “You really only have yourself to blame.”

Meg chuckled. “I could’ve sent my other sister if you would’ve liked?”

“No, no, Alecto was perfectly agreeable,” Zagreus said, forcing a smile as he shuddered. “Just not that great of a conversationalist is all.”

Asterius started towards the house and they followed behind. “Do you like chickpeas? Because I’ve decided to make falafel tonight.”

“Falafel is good,” Thanatos said.

Zagreus cocked a brow. “Isn’t it pretty difficult to make?”

Meg nodded. “I couldn’t do it.”

“Well, when you’re enjoying an eternal afterlife, you have a lot of free time to pursue hobbies,” Asterius said. “You should ask Theseus about his model chariot collection. He spends hours on them.”

“Model chariots.” Zagreus snorted. “That is such an…”

Meg elbowed him in the side, shooting him a warning glare. “Be nice.”

They entered the home and Zagreus was instantly hit by the smell of rich food. It was more enrapturing than any banquet he had ever had the honour of attending.

“You made more than just falafel,” Thanatos commented. “It’s been eons since I’ve smelt anything this rich.”

“I like to cook,” Asterius explained, offering a warm smile. “And it’s a rare honour that I get to do so for guests.”

“Where is…” Megaera started.

“Ah Blackguard!” a familiar douchebag boisterously greeted.

Zagreus snapped his attention to a neighbouring room.

Theseus was seated at the dining room table, working on a model of a chariot in front of him. The tip of his tongue poked between his lips as he carefully painted a piece of paneling blue.

Behind him were three weapon racks. One held a familiar shield that Zagreus hated. One had a spear he despised. And the last bore a mighty axe that nearly reached the roof.

Theseus got up and made his way over. “You’re lucky that dear Asterius has decided to allow a daemon like yourself into our abode.” He beamed. “Though you should see the quiche he made for this occasion. It would make the fine Lady Demeter proud to see her produce used in such a fashion.”

Asterius’ cheeks warmed. “It is a very passable quiche.”

“Nonsense, it’s the finest in Elysium,” Theseus said. He then looked at Zagreus. “So how was the journey here?”

Zagreus steeled his jaw. “Perfectly agreeable. Nothing that a warrior such as myself couldn’t handle.”

“Well, our comrades in Tartarus and Asphodel are mere helots,” Theseus explained. His attention then went to Thanatos. “Ah! If it is not the Lord of Death. It has been an eternity since we’ve last seen each other.”

Zagreus cocked a brow. “You two know each other?”

“I mean as well as any former mortal knows him,” Theseus said. “We had quite the sparring match before he finally wrestled me down here.”

“You’re a very capable fighter,” Thanatos admitted, bowing his head slightly.

Theseus beamed at the compliment, then looked at Megaera. “And if it is not my favourite Fury sister. How is Tartarus treating you?”

“Dark and dreary,” she said, offering a small smile. “Practically paradise.”

“I still remember that cave you trapped me in,” Theseus said, a dark note entering his voice. “Dreariness does seem to suit you.”

Meg forced her gaze away, looking to a nearby wall.

“Dark cave?” Zagreus whispered.

“Maybe it’s best that we don’t discuss this specific story,” Asterius said. When the silence persisted, he cleared his throat. “So, what would everyone like to drink? We have wine, fresh from the surface.”

“Wine sounds nice,” Thanatos said.

Asterius nodded and motion to a room off to the side. “Please get comfortable.”

Zagreus took his lead, stepping into the new room. It was littered with comfortable looking furniture and he took a seat upon one of the sofas. He was joined by Meg who sat by his side, draping an arm over his shoulder. Thanatos took up position on a lounging chair and so did Theseus on one across from him.

“So…” Theseus started, working his jaw. “How are things in the House of Hades?”

Zagreus shrugged. “As good as they’ve ever been. Has news of my mother’s return reached Elysium yet?”

“Mother’s return,” Theseus whispered, shaking his head. “Not that…”

“He’s talking about Persephone,” Thanatos interjected.

“Oh! The Queen!” Theseus chuckled. “Yes, it’s a very grand occasion. I had no idea that she was your mother.”

“We’ve…” Zagreus shook his head. “We’ve talked about this before.”

“Have we?” Theseus thought about it for a moment. “Oh right! You said so back in the arena. I just assumed that you were attempting a ruse in order to throw me off of my game. It’s difficult to believe that you are the spawn of our beloved Lady.”

“No, I was telling the truth,” Zagreus muttered, biting his tongue in an effort to stave off something more heated.

Thankfully, Asterius provided some much-needed respite.

He returned with a tray in hand. Upon it were two decanters surrounded by all sorts of glassware. One decanter was filled with a red elixir, the other had ambrosia.

“Ah good on you for breaking out the good stuff,” Theseus said. He grinned at Zagreus. “It’s rare that we have guests.”

“I couldn’t imagine why,” Megaera said.

Asterius bowed his head. “I do thank you for coming. I’ve been meaning to try out some new recipes and sadly our neighbours are mere Shades who lack an appetite. Speaking of, I’ll be right back.”

With that he shuffled off once again.

Thanatos reached for the tray, grabbing the red decanter and filling his glass with it. He then poured one for Meg and Zagreus.

“You know, I’ve never been to a home in Elysium before,” he said.

Theseus nodded. “It’s no palace in Athens but there are worse ways to endure the afterlife.”

“What is Athens like?” Megaera asked.

Zagreus nodded. “I’ve only heard tales of it.”

Theseus sighed fondly. “I miss my beloved city dearly, Blackguard.” He may have said the phrase but there was no bite behind it. “She was a pristine city made of marble and hope. A venue that brought together all the greatest minds of Greece. I am proud that she allowed me to rule her for my brief mortality and I thank Athena daily that she tends to her in my absence.” He snorted. “To think that the mere town I founded has grown into a metropolis that houses so many souls.”

He reached for the ambrosia, pouring himself a small sample within one of the smaller glasses.

“Try the wine,” he said. “It was provided to Lord Hades as a tribute from the people of my fair city.”

Zagreus nodded and carefully picked up the glass. He watched as Thanatos picked up his own, giving the contents a sniff before sipping it. So, Zagreus did the same, bringing it to his nose and inhaling. The scent was dry, lacking sweetness.

As he tasted it, the flavour was much the same. It was curious. It wasn’t a raw pleasurable experience, like nectar or ambrosia, but it was something more refined.

“It tastes interesting,” Zagreus admitted.

Theseus smirked. “I suppose not much makes it down to the House of Hades.”

Megaera shook her head. “Hades is not fond of having worldly distractions in his presence.”

“My father is a bit of a workaholic,” Zagreus said.

Theseus rumbled with laughter. “And thank him for that. There are few realms as orderly as his own.”

Asterius came back into the room. This time, he held a platter in his hands. In the centre was a wooden dish that was filled with some kind of green pulp. It was surrounded by a sea of thin triangle shaped crackers.

At least, that’s what it looked like to Zagreus. He was not overly familiar with the cuisine of those who were formerly mortal.

“I picked up this recipe from a Shade who was reportedly an adventurer,” the minotaur explained, placing the tray down next to the liquor. “It’s called guacamole and chips.”

“Guacamole?” Thanatos asked, cocking a brow.

He reached for one of these ‘chips’ and scooped up some of the green pulp before taking a bite. Slowly, he chewed upon it, experimenting with it.

Then he nodded. “It’s good.”

Asterius offered a small smile. “I’m glad you think so.”

He turned to leave but Theseus held up a hand. “Asterius, my dearest companion, why not sit and join us so you can also enjoy the fruits of your labours.”

Asterius paused for a moment but nodded, settling down on another of the room’s sofas. Though due to his size, it seemed more like a proper chair.

“You know,” Zagreus said, pointing his own chip at Asterius. “You have a fan of your own in my father’s house.”

“Is that so?” Asterius asked.

Zagreus nodded but popped the chip into his mouth, chewing. His eyes immediately widened at the combination of flavours that now graced his palate. Exotic was the chief word he would use to describe it. Followed immediately by both sweet, savoury, and slightly acidic.

Thanatos glanced at him, then looked at their host. “You do. My brother has asked Zagreus repeatedly to try and get your autograph.”

Theseus rumbled with laughter. “I told you, Asterius.” He looked at his guests. “This modest minotaur thinks that the Shades only care about me.”

“I mean you are the Great King of Athens,” Asterius said.

Theseus got up and made his way over to Asterius’ couch. He plopped down and leaned against him, throwing an arm around his midsection.

“Asterius, you are the tzatziki that goes with my falafel. If it were not for you, I would just be some fool in the arena throwing my spear helplessly about before getting inevitably swarmed,” Theseus explained. “You… are the best right-hand minotaur that a former king could ever hope to ask for.”

“You’re far too kind,” Asterius said.

Megaera snorted, leaning over to Zagreus. “Why can’t we look that cute?”

“Because when I try to act cute, your gut reaction is to hurt me,” Zagreus shot back.

Meg smirked. “Oh yeah.”

“So, Blackguard,” Theseus beaconed, snatching Zagreus’ attention once again. “What is your weapon of choice?”

“What do you mean?” Zagreus asked.

Theseus shrugged, drumming his fingers against Asterius’ side. “I’ve seen you fight out of here with sword, spear, and all sorts of other tools. Surely, you must have a favourite.”

Zagreus thought about it for a moment. Each had their own pros and cons on a purely analytical level but one weapon stood out within his mind.

“The Eternal Spear,” Zagreus said. “There is something so incredibly satisfying about using my father’s own weapon against him.”

Theseus bellowed laughter. “Ah, I can get behind such a petty gesture, daemon.” He wagged his finger at him. “That spear is a rather nasty tool. You’ve poked and prodded me with it many times in the past.”

“Good times,” Zagreus said, sighing fondly.

“They have been,” Theseus agreed, nodding to himself. “We have provided much entertainment for the Shades. And really…”

He sighed.

“Really?” Megaera asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Theseus said.

Asterius shook his head. “I think Theseus just likes that he gets to play hero once again. Elysium is great but…”

“There is little opportunity for heroics?” Thanatos asked.

“Exactly,” Theseus said. “But dear Zagreus here has kept the arenas packed and tales of our daring encounters are the talk of every household.”

“Huh,” Zagreus whispered. “I’ve never really thought about it like that before.”

Megaera smirked. “Believe it or not but your little adventures have made quite a few Shades happy.”

“A nice break from the tedium of the afterlife,” Thanatos added.

Zagreus snorted. “Glad I could provide some much-needed relief from the mundane.” He looked at Theseus. “Can I ask how you got the help of the Olympians, by the way? It’s always been a question that’s bugged me.”

“I was a hero who protected their worshippers from the beasts that plagued the once wild reaches of Greece,” Theseus explained. “Athena offers her help since I built her a temple, Demeter approves of me because I protected her farmers, and Ares is just a fan of anyone who is willing to give him a sacrifice of blood.”

Asterius smiled, resting a mighty hand upon Theseus’ shoulder. “Theseus was quite the busy figure during our brief stint with being mortal.”

“Though the greatest of my conquests was against you, dear Asterius,” Theseus said. He looked at his guests. “We fought for three days straight, trading blow for blow. Though neither of us could feel one another.”

Asterius nodded. “At the end of the third day, we both collapsed from exhaustion.”

“Then it rained,” Theseus said. “And well… we required some way of preserving our body’s warmth.”

Megaera smirked. “Is that when you gained the title bullfucker?”

Asterius went bright red but Theseus merely laughed.

“Not quite,” he said. “I was merely a bullcuddler that day. But I did realize that there would be more to gain from a friendship with Asterius than merely defeating him.”

There was a chime from the kitchen and Asterius’ ears perked up.

“That should be our supper just about ready,” he said, getting up. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Megaera also stood. “I’ll help you, Asterius.”

Thanatos nodded in agreement and also got to his feet. “Me too.”

“And I’ll…” Zagreus started.

Theseus beamed at him. “Would you like to see my model chariot collection, daemon?”

“He would,” Thanatos said, smirking at him and winking like an utter bastard.

“I would,” Zagreus repeated, sounding totally and absolutely thrilled.

Theseus beamed and stood up, motioning for Zagreus to follow him. He did so reluctantly.

Thankfully, the house was not overly large and they were soon outside of a nondescript door.

“So model chariots?” Zagreus asked. “That’s your thing?”

Theseus nodded. “For this decade anyways. Last decade I picked up poetry and the one before that I too attempted to get into cooking. Though my affinity for barbequing steaks and sausages was starting to make Asterius a little uncomfortable. So, I stopped.”

“Huh,” Zagreus said. “I never really thought about that before.”

“This is now a vegetarian household. Not that I mind.” He opened the door and stepped inside. “The things that loyal Asterius can do with chickpeas and grains is incredible.”

They entered the room and Zagreus was taken aback by how neat everything was. There were shelves lining every single wall and each was filled with little chariots. And every single chariot was of a different design and colour.

He approached one, seeing a mighty golden beast with spiked wheels and cannons that reminded Zagreus of Exagryph.

“A miniature of an experimental design crafted by Daedalus himself,” Theseus explained. “Apparently it was supposed to be a weapon of war employed against Epirus.”

Zagreus looked to the side, seeing a far more modest chariot made of wood with red wheels.

“That would be the chariot used by Achilles during the Trojan Wars,” Theseus explained. “Does he… ever talk about them?”

“Rarely,” Zagreus said. “I think he might be ashamed of them at times.”

“I can’t really blame him,” Theseus said. “When you’re mortal you…” He worked his jaw. “I’m ashamed to admit it but I once doubted the validity of the afterlife.”

Zagreus snorted.

“Don’t laugh,” Theseus said. “It’s true. When you’re mortal, dying is seen as a great risk, for no one knew what really awaited them on the other side. After all, your father allows no one to escape and return to us.” He shook his head. “So, when a person like Achilles or myself would end a life, we had no idea if we were sending their souls somewhere better.”

“But you do know it now?” Zagreus asked.

Theseus nodded. “I do. Though…”

“Though?” Zagreus asked.

“I do wonder sometimes if I punished a soul to a life in Tartarus or Asphodel,” Theseus explained. “By ending their life early, did I rob them of a chance to perform a noble deed and reside where I currently have the privilege of residing? Did I cast some poor soul to suffer in bondage so I may enjoy a domestic life of painting little chariots?” He picked up one of these chariots and looked at it. “I do not believe that individuals are born guilty or redeemed.”

“That’s a hard question to grapple with,” Zagreus admitted.

“I’ve made many mistakes in my life, Zagreus,” Theseus said.

Zagreus’ eyes widened. “You used my name?”

Theseus smirked and approached another model chariot. This one was made of bronze with streaks of artificial glass flames behind it. Surely, this was the kind of transport used by the fabled Apollo.

“I allowed my love of the arena, my love of fame, to cloud to my judgement,” he said. “To me, you became nothing but a wretch that I must defeat. It reminds me of how I used to view Asterius. There was a time where I planned to slay him and wear his pelt as my garb.”

“Did you have plans to wear my pelt?” Zagreus joked.

Theseus snorted. “No, of course not. You don’t possess nearly enough of a hide.” He shook his head. “What I’m trying to say is that I want to thank you for coming to visit us. And that I was wondering if…” he worked his jaw. “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to consider being friends?”

“Friends?” Zagreus asked, chuckling. “Are you feeling quite alright, noble Theseus.”

“Perfectly fine,” Theseus replied. He allowed himself a slight smile.

Zagreus nodded. “Did Asterius put you up to this?”

Theseus snorted. “He put the worm in my ear, as it were. But the idea is sound. You are a mighty warrior, Zagreus, and you must admit that we do put on quite the show for the Shades of Elysium.”

“We do,” Zagreus agreed.

“And at this point, your antics are merely performative, correct?” Theseus asked.

Zagreus nodded. “More or less.”

“It’s something to think about, Zagreus,” Theseus said, placing a hand upon his shoulder. “Plus, Asterius would love to have you over more frequently.”

“Well now you’re just trying to make me feel guilty,” Zagreus teased.

His host smirked. “Maybe just a little.”

“Theseus!” Asterius bellowed from the kitchen. “Dinner is ready.”

“Coming right away, dear,” Theseus called. He then winked at Zagreus. “Come, it’s best that we didn’t keep the chef waiting.”

---

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