“Innkeeper?”

“Innkeeper!”

“Uh, innkeeper, are you alright?”

“Innkeeper! How much longer until lunch!?”

“I have some questions, innkeeper…”

The knocks never stopped. Every time that I felt like I had finally gotten some time to sleep, I was rudely interrupted by another one. Someone called out for the innkeeper, didn’t get an answer, and then left. The situation looped until I stopped caring about the sounds and went to sleep.

There were no dreams. There was no escape from what I had done. Even as the hours passed and the noise outside died down, the weight of my sin lay heavy on my shoulders. My eyes only opened once my stomach ache got too terrible to control, and I was forced to seek out something to eat.

Taking some heart in the fact that I wouldn’t have to trouble anyone else with my presence, I got out of bed and left the room. The torches were just as bright as morning, given that there was no real sense of time in this place. The only sign that night had set in for the residents was the eerie silence in the building. I headed to the Kitchen, thinking about what could be made and eaten without wasting time.

Running down the options, I turned the corner, reached the kitchen, and…

“Innkeeper!”

“Carol!?”

The staff member stood up, smacking a sleeping Earnest on the back. The two of them had been sitting in the Kitchen together, for some reason. Now, as soon as I had walked in, both of them were standing with relieved expressions.

“Are you better now?” Carol asked.

“W-what from?”

“Well, you were locked in your room and weren’t answering the door, so we thought you had come down with something. So, she asked.” Earnest explained, taking a step back and then turning. He moved to the back of the Kitchen, where a covered plate waited for me.

Carol pulled the seat she had been sitting on, giving me some space to sit. Instead of taking it, however, I just waved her off.

“It’s alright. I’ll sit at the tables. Both of you should get some sleep. And, uh, sorry about not cooking dinner, Earnest.”

“N-no, innkeeper!” Carol exclaimed. She tried pulling the seat further back and walking up to me, but stumbled on the way. Her legs wobbled before she could even make her point, destroying her entire argument. “Sorry, that’s just…nothing-”

“That’s clearly something, Carol. You’ve been working all day. Please go to bed. I’ll be fine. It’s nothing bad.” I smiled and ruffled her hair. She might have been older than me. In fact, she probably was. But still, it felt right in the moment. It was nice of them to do what they did, especially for someone like me.

Earnest brought over the plate, but I took it from him. Dinner seemed to have been bread with some sort of curry. People in the True World really did like their bread. Plate in hand, I insisted that the two of them leave, and walked to the Bar and Restaurant. Before I could grab a seat, they had already wished me a good night and left for their rooms.

Sitting down all alone, I took my time with the food. Even though I couldn’t figure out what it was made out of, it tasted good. It was warm and homely, which was all I needed right now. It was also a bit heavy, which was similarly beneficial. The quicker this put me to sleep, the better. The second day was over already, and the third day would bring the apocalypse with it. That was good. We could go back to the status quo.

That was good, right? I could not remember anymore. The only reason I was even eating was that my stomach hurt without it. If I were to die like this, it would not be acceptable. I needed to keep living so that I would be forced to look Bella in the eyes once more. I needed to keep going so that the reminder of my horrible deeds would never be gone.

This was how it had always been, after all. At the park, at school, at college. Laura Mason was not meant to have friends, like normal people. She wasn’t allowed to be like them or live like them. That was because she was a boring person on the surface, and a terrible monster on the inside. I was. I was Laura Mason. Stop running from the fact. You are her.

“…of the day, I win!”

An obnoxiously familiar voice echoed through the corridors outside before reaching the entrance to the room. I turned to notice Poltrick Gregson, and a wrinkly old man wearing brown overalls over a black shirt and a cowboy hat, looking back at me. The dwarf and, I was guessing, Old Man Dom.

“Ah, there you are!” Poltrick remarked, walking over. “I was wondering where you had vanished. Some work to do, I assume?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Both of them walked past me and took their seats on the barstools in the back. Tapping on the counter, Old Man Dom turned to me and spoke up for the first time.

“Why, young lady, here we are. Are you going to serve drinks or not?”

“What?”

“Drinks, innkeeper!” Poltrick repeated. “We’re here for some drinks, and you’re clearly done with your dinner, so how about it?”

“No, I am-” I looked down at the plate, expecting to see half a plate of curry and bread remaining. Instead, I only found small crumbs where the bread should have been, and an empty bowl of curry. Had the meal really not been able to fill my stomach? “I am…done.”

“Exactly what I said. Now, drinks!” The dwarf chuckled and banged on the bar counter like his friend.

I stood up with the empty plate in my hand. Promising the two that I will be right back, I headed to the kitchen and washed the plate in the barrel kept aside for the job. This would later be emptied and cleaned by Carol in the morning. For now, with the plate cleaned, I kept them back in their slots and headed to the women’s room to wash my hands.

There, as I slowly poured the water, I wondered if it would be fine to go back to my room and sleep. Even if they were angry, the mold would come tomorrow morning and kill us all. Then, they would not be angry anymore. A few moments after that, in fact, they would be back to normal. They would loop and forget everything.

“No…”

Water in hand, I splashed it on my face and took a long breath. No. No running. I didn’t get to run. I wasn’t allowed to get away with it. That would be far too easy, wouldn’t it? I could leave and start over, but that was the shortcut. I needed to stay and do my part. Pay it all back.

So, I headed back to the bar and moved behind the counter.

It had been a while since I learned the basics of bartending, but the muscle memory kicked in when the time was right. Getting the glasses out and putting them in front of the two guests, I looked back at the wealth of wine behind me, and then at them. Surely, they had a preference.

“Some fine red wine of your choice, lady!” Dom smiled, going back to talking with Poltrick about some construction project.

The labels on the bottles were, thankfully, also in English. Using those, I picked out a random red wine from the year 1328, and poured some for them to the best of my ability. It smelled heavenly sweet, which made me want to get a glass as well, but I controlled myself. That would not be very ethical.

Passing them their drinks, I stood as I was, waiting for my next instructions.

The two men cheered and started sipping on it little by little. They had smiles on their faces, but the quality had clearly not stunned them. That was to be expected, since I was not a master of the True World’s wine culture. Who knew if this particular batch was even highly regarded or not?

“Young lady?” Old Man Dom called out to me.

“Y-yeah? Another pour?”

“No!” He shook his head. “You…I’ve seen that expression before, Poltrick. Say, you’ve seen that one too, haven’t you?”

“Hmm?” The dwarf glared at me, which made me want to punch him in the face, but I held back once more. Still not very ethical or professional. “Well, I can’t say I have, old man. Why do you ask? You familiar with that one, are you?”

“Yes…” He sighed and then looked me in the eye with a glint in his. “Yes, I am. There was this beautiful satyr girl, you see? She was so, so pretty. Caught my eye when I was but a young lad. I asked her out on a date once, and she agreed, so we started going out with each other for some time.”

“Oh!? I didn’t know that. You’ve had quite a history then, have ya?”

“Yeah, I have. Anyway, I had this fight with her once. Really bad fight. I said some terrible things to that girl. And then…that is the expression I had on my face. Have you also had a fight with someone, young lady?”

“Uh, I guess,” I replied, hoping that this would end sooner rather than later. “You could say that.”

“That’s why you’ve been all sulky, then, innkeeper?” Poltrick laughed, pushing his glass forward. I poured, and he continued. “Give her some advice, old man. She made this lip-smacking breakfast this morning. You should’ve had it, really! Help this girl out, eh?”

“That’s the plan, Poltrick!” Old Man Dom laughed back, gesturing for me to pour some for him too. Once I did, he started to open his mouth, but then stopped. Staring at the ceiling as if trying to remember the particulars of his story, he eventually clicked his tongue and shook his head. “It eludes me, Poltrick. I can’t, for the love of Don, remember what happened with that girl!”

For the better, probably. I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.

“B-but it doesn’t matter.” The old man declared. “I’ve got other similar stories of the same. Had a fight with some lass, and then cried about it all day. Same old story, Poltrick. You know how it goes, don’t you?”

“I am not that old yet, you!” The dwarf seethed and then burst out in more laughter. “I’m not old yet, old man!”

For once, he was right. Not old; just going through a midlife crisis. When was this going to end?

“But you, young lady? Innkeeper, is it?” Dom finished his second glass in a single gulp. “You must have had a fight or two until now. Not counting today, that is. Am I not right? It’s a common thing, Poltrick. You must be special.”

“Y-yeah. Sure. I’ve fought with people once or twice. Nothing too special, really. Another glass, maybe?”

Of course, I had fought people before. My mother, my father, my grandfather. I had fought them maybe once in my whole life. But never a boyfriend or a girlfriend, because I never had one. Never a friend, because I never had those either. Or at least, I never thought I did. Going out in a group after school did not equate to friendship, after all. That was called trying to fit in.

“Nothing special?” Poltrick snapped. “Oh, shut up. I have also fought people. Look at my knuckles, old man. Look, see? Those’re a fighter’s knuckles! Back with my friends, you’ll hear tales of the old knight Poltrick Gregson, who could knock a bear out with his hands!”

Old Man Dom cackled again, rocking the table enough to unsettle the wine in the dwarf’s glass. Grabbing the flared base of it before it could spill, I controlled the liquid. Then, when the movement had paused, I poured out another glass for Dom and pushed Poltrick’s glass closer to him.

“That’s not the fighting we are talking about, you dumb dwarf.” Dom shook his head in embarrassment. “But that is alright, too, Poltrick. That is how life goes, and that is how it is meant to be. You know…I’ve had an argument with so many people that I don’t even remember anything anymore. My daughter, most of all. But she is gone now, Poltrick.”

“Ay…” Poltrick nodded back with a gloomy look. “Ay…that’s not nice. Here. Let’s drink this one to your daughter, old man!”

“Yes. Let us do that. You too, young lady. Come on. Barbara would have liked that. She loved drinking. Come on. One…cheer for her!”

I decided to let this one slide. Picking out a glass for myself, I poured a small amount and then participated in the sudden toast. The wine glasses clinked together, and then came back to our mouths. Taking a whiff of the sweet smell once, I downed the entire drink at once.

The honey-like wine coated my mouth with its sugary goodness, and I could not help but smile. This was good. Very good. Keeping the glass down with a satisfied sigh, I smiled at the old man and the dwarf.

“Yes, thank you.” Dom nodded. “But, Poltrick, as I was saying. There is nobody in this world, Poltrick, who is meant to be friends with everyone. If there were…then they would have no friends! You must be selfish to be good, you dumb dwarf. That is why not all of us are made the same, or have the same life, or the same skills. Yes?”

“Aye!” The dwarf laughed.

I poured them another glass. And as I did, I could not help but blurt out what was on my mind. I was not part of this conversation, and yet, I made the mistake of pushing my own opinion into it. Driven by the dejected faces of the many people whom I had once tried to be friends with, I really could not control it.

“Then what, old man?” I asked. “What about the people who are so selfish that they have no friends at all? The ones who did not know where to stop, and drove them all away?”

“That’s a dumb question, young lady.” Old Man Dom did not take any time to think or consider it. “There is no such person in the world. Do you know why? Because there have to be at least two of them. Then, those two people become friends with each other, and then there are none of them. That is how it works.”

I chuckled. “Then they can be selfish with each other, I guess? Hurt each other as much as they need to.”

“No…no.” He shook his head. “They can be hurt by the other person, and then learn how bad it is to feel something like that. Together, they are better, young lady. Yes. That’s how it is.”

I shrugged. “Good luck with finding that one person, then. How many billion people are in the world, anyway? How long will you keep trying to achieve such a small probability?”

“That is true,” Dom admitted. “That is very true. How long until you find another person like that? It is a very low number, I think.”

“Ay, but it is a number!” The dwarf picked up the bottle and took more wine for himself. Filling the glass to the brim, he drank all of it in one go and then gently put it back down. “As long as it is a number, it can happen! When someone tells you that something is wrong or something is impossible, you slap them on the face, innkeeper. Yeah, when someone tells you that you cannot make it, you look them in the face. And then you look away…”

If someone told you that you were cursed. That you were not meant to be as you were. That was what he was trying to say…

Either way, good progress on that final line, I guess?

“You look away…because you have better things to do.” He smiled. “Got that? Maybe you cannot be friends with everyone, innkeeper. Maybe you can only be friends with one person. But if you don’t keep trying with everyone, you’ll never find that one. Got that?!”

“Y-yeah.”

It hit me like a truck. I hadn’t expected it to, but it did. Holding back myself from crying, I picked up the bottle and poured some in my own glass anyway. If I was going to be professional by not breaking down, then I deserved to have some time off being casual on this front.

Slowly sipping the wine as my heart beat pulsed with recognition at what the dwarf had said, I waited for Dom to continue. And continue, he did.

“Well said, Poltrick. Ha!” He cheered with the dwarf once more, and the two began to laugh. Then, the old man turned to me. “And you, young lady? If you want to try and be friends with me…maybe get some meat on that menu. I’m getting tired of seeing these vegetables day after day.”

Meat. Right. Old Man Dom had refused to eat because we did not have that. We did not have that because I had never opened up the Cold Storage to get it out. That was dumb of me. But I was still hungry anyway, since I hadn’t had lunch. And Dom, maybe, was in the same boat.

“Yeah, you know what, old man?” I kept my glass down. “You like rabbit? I feel like having some nice rabbit right now?”

“Oh? Are you going to make some right now, young lady? I must admit that I would love some rabbit.”

Walking out of the counter, I rolled my sleeves up. Removing the mold itself would be easy work. Heading out of the room, I redirected my guests. “Bar’s closed, gentlemen. But the Kitchen is in service if you so wish.”

Maybe all of this would be useless. Maybe we would all die anyway. Maybe Bella would never forgive me.

But I had to keep trying.