“There’s something I need to tell you — lately, I’ve been thinking about our friendship, and how ever since we’ve met those couple months ago, you’ve been the kindest, most thoughtful and sensitive person I’ve ever met, and, well… It doesn’t need to be anything serious, like, I don’t want it to end with us not being friends if it doesn’t work out, but… would you like to go on a date?” Kelly, my best and only friend, asked.

My friendship with Kelly had started when both of us were starting our first year of college. I was the kind of person who doesn’t know how to initiate contact with other people and is too scared to try. She was the kind of person that’d pay attention to, and actually approach someone like me. We’d quickly found that we shared a lot of interests, and that introducing each other to the ones we didn’t share was a really fun activity. She was a really wonderful person to be around, and I did what I could to be a decent person too.

And all of that had led us to this moment, with both of us sitting on her bed, and her apparently asking me out on a date. I didn’t know how to respond, really; this was the sort of thing that happened to other people, people who had actual lives. In retrospect, I knew that this was a possibility, even if some part of me kept refusing to acknowledge it; I was just incapable of coming up with how I could potentially react.

Reluctantly, I said, “I… don’t think it’s a good idea.”

She sighed. “Is it because of your depression? Because if so, I’m sure we can make it work, and it’s definitely not a problem for me.”

“It’s not just that, I… I can't even feel things properly. I never told you, but when I was a kid, I used to be the biggest crybaby, and at one point, when I was twelve, I just… stopped. I didn’t just stop crying at small things, I stopped being able to cry at all, no matter how much I wanted to. And I stopped feeling things properly, too. It’s like all of my actual feelings are locked behind a wall, and I only get to know how I feel, instead of actually feeling it; most of me expressing my emotions is more like I’m acting out the emotional responses instead of actually feeling them. I just don’t think it’d be fair to enter this kind of relationship without even being able to precisely tell what my feelings are,” I explained.

“I mean, while you definitely should add it to the list of things to be addressed once you finally get into therapy, I don’t really think it’d really be much different in that regard than it already is when we’re friends. Besides, the whole reason I want to do this is to try it out to see if this works. Like, don’t get me wrong, if you want to say no, that’s okay with me, and you don’t need to give me a reason, but I don’t think what you just said really changes things,” she responded.

“How would we even go about this though? I never really could imagine myself being in a relationship; something always seemed wrong. Though I guess it’s really my general thoughts about myself; no matter what I try to do, something’s always wrong. Hell, most of the time, it feels like everything with me is wrong, like I’m this weird… thing instead of a person. Like my whole body is this ugly oversized blob of smelly… stuff…” I admitted.

Kelly frowned and looked at me intently before standing up and saying, “Okay, I won’t lie, I kinda saw signs from you before, and from what you said now, I think I have something that could help.”

She went to her closet, and seemed to reach out somewhere deep. There was a sound of moving wood, and glass hitting glass, before she took something out and closed the door. She walked up to me and handed me a flask of glowing magenta fluid.

“A p-potion?” I asked, more than a little shocked.

“A healing potion. I keep them stashed in different places, you know, just in case I need one quick. Can’t be too careful,” she explained.

“I-I don’t think I can take this,” I stammered.

“It is a gift, I’m giving this to you. I have more than enough of those in here, so I can afford it even if it does nothing, and I can always make more. Besides, those are made to be used, and I believe that it might help you a lot,” she said, as she put the flask in my lap and sat back down next to me.

“So… do I just drink it?” I asked.

“Yup, that’s pretty much it. Go ahead.”

I looked intently at the liquid. “Wait, how would it even help?”

“Well, healing potion basically makes you regenerate, and it takes an image to regenerate to from your mind, so if you feel like your body doesn’t match you, it’s very likely to help with that,” she explained.

Realizing that putting this off would just lead me to put it off more down the line, I drank the potion. I expected it to taste something like raspberry syrup, but in reality it was sweet and fruity, though not like any specific fruit I’d ever tasted. Of course, I knew that it most likely wouldn’t actually do anything to me — after all, life didn’t work like that, there was never one simple solution to solve problems like this one, and as much as I’d want there to be something big and dramatic, if there were going to be changes, they’d be something small, like my skin getting softer (that one would actually be really nice though).

After half a minute of waiting, I said, “Doesn’t seem to have done anything…”

Kelly just smiled mischievously and responded, “Oh, I’m not so sure.”

I considered asking some clarifying questions, but before I could, I was interrupted — do you know the feeling when you’re laying down and suddenly it feels like you’re falling? Because this was exactly what I felt, except it seemed to last much longer. I couldn’t tell how much time passed while I was in that state, maybe a minute, maybe five, but at some point I noticed my clothes started to feel looser, which progressed to the point where I was visibly drowning in them by the end.

When I finally started recovering, I reached up to my head, and— Huh, who would have thought — softer skin.

Suddenly, Kelly entered the room (when did she leave?) with two glasses of soda. “You seemed really dizzy, so I thought you might want something to drink.”

I timidly took a glass from her. “Thanks.”

My eyes shot wide open as I heard a far softer and more high-pitched voice than I was used to come from my mouth. Then I paid attention to my slimmer, smaller and softer hand, and the fact that my clothes were now way too big for me, and I started to connect the dots.

“Ummmmmmm…” I eloquently said.

“So, given you’ve started to notice what happened, how are you holding up?” she asked.

I tried to focus more on what had changed — first of all, there was a notable absence of a certain piece of dead weight in between my legs, which was honestly kinda good riddance. Then there was the fact that my chest area was more sensitive and bumpy than before. Yup, the conclusions were pretty obvious.

I looked up to Kelly (she was sitting next to me now and I still had to look up!) and asked, “Why?”

She sighed. “You’re the only one who can answer that question I’m afraid, but tell me — how do you feel about it? Does it feel better than it did before?”

This… sounded like a question I shouldn’t answer honestly. But I also didn’t want to lie to her. I looked to the side, trying to think of what to say to make it hurt the least.

Having noticed my hesitation, she said, “Hey, look at me.” I did just that. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, and I promise I won’t judge you. Whatever you’re feeling right now, it’s valid.”

“It… doesn’t feel bad…” I couldn’t believe I was really about to say this. “It’s not like I never imagined what it would feel like…”

“Ooh, interesting. How does fantasy hold up to reality?” she asked, with that mischievous smile back on her face.

“It… hasn’t been contradicted yet…” I admitted, my face feeling warmer all of the sudden.

As if to prove me wrong, a loose strand of hair fell in front of my face, tickling my voice and blocking my vision.

Kelly reached out as if to correct it. “May I?”

I nodded.

She tucked the hair behind my ear, and laid her hand on my cheek. It felt really nice. “Well, for what it matters, I think you look beautiful like this,” she said.

Now my face was feeling really warm. I also may have let out a small squeak. It was hard to keep track of all the things that were happening in that moment.

“You blushing, huh? That’s new. And very adorable for that matter.”

There were a lot of tingly and warm feelings in my stomach and chest, and I felt cheeks heat up (apparently that’s how blushing felt) even more. I covered my face and tried to make myself smaller as I said, “Stoooooooooooop…”

It was so much. Much more than I was used to. I was suddenly feeling so much and so strongly and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

“You know, if I didn’t know better, I would have thought you were acting all cute on purpose,” Kelly commented, again with that smile.

This time I definitely let out a squeak, and it wasn’t small either.

After taking a bit to calm down and re-learn how to breathe properly, I asked, “I… I don’t understand… Why is everything so much all of the sudden?”

“Well, you said you weren’t feeling a lot before, so getting to feel more so quickly was probably going to be a bit of a shock no matter what. Do you want a hug?” she responded.

I nodded without thinking. It turned out that hugs are warm and soft and comfy and easy to relax into and I didn’t want it to end and if it had to I wanted to do hugs all the time, who knew?

At some point, Kelly spoke again, “By the way, you never answered my question — do you want me to take you on that date, cutie?”

I blushed some more. “If you keep going like that, we probably might as well skip the date part…” I mumbled.

She snorted in response. “I’m going to let this one go, but for the future, what you said has implications you probably don’t realize.”

I blushed even more. “Now you’re just being mean…”

She laughed more. “Well, now you’re just being cute, so we’re even.” She stuck her tongue at me.

I tried to say things. I promise I did. Nothing real came from it, aside from unidentifiable noises that were quickly described as “adorable” by a certain someone. In the end, we didn’t end up doing anything but hugging on that bed and, eventually, watching some videos on Kelly’s phone. I probably had to figure out how to deal with my change, or what was going on between me and Kelly, and, well… I was still wearing the absurdly oversized clothes I’d come to her place in, but in that moment, I just allowed myself to fall asleep while cuddling into my best friend.