Sara stood in front of the glass doors and stared into the abyss in front of her. Suckin’ Vapes had kept her comfortably trapped in poverty since its inception. She slid the key into the lock and sighed. Snap it off. She screamed inside her head. Pushing back a tear, she unlocked the door, stepped inside, and was welcomed by the miasma of putrid, cloying sweet mucus mist that was the reason she wore glasses now. She rubbed her palms in her eyes to reset the itch long enough to get to the office. She tossed her over-the-shoulder bag full of law school books and hope on the desk and fell into the comfy office chair she had to use her own money to replace when the old generic one fell apart under Simon’s Peter Steele sized frame. Wednesdays were the fucking worst. Middle of the week. Two days from payday. A million days from Osaka. She pulled out her phone and looked in her bank app. Twenty-three cents. Two million days.

BAZZZZ

She looked up at the camera to see Simon and Cody come in. Cody pushed by Simon as they came into the office.

“Is it here?” Cody looked through the pile of boxes on the floor. “Dragon’s Blood is so fucking crunk!”

Sara looked up slowly. “Did you just say crunk?”

“Fo shizzle.” Cody snatched a box up and ripped it open. He stared at the tiny ten mil bottle in his hand. “Fuck you, Titsoff.”

“It’s Titus Soft, dumbass.” Simon rolled his eyes with all the energy of death upon him. “Why a software company would shift lanes to e-juice, though, is beyond even me.”

“You good, Simon?” Sara craned her neck back to see him.

It was almost imperceptible, but a flash of panic took him before he corrected it. “I’m fucking pumped for Mark to get back.”

“He should be here.” Sara looked at the parking lot camera, seeing his car pulling into the lot. “Speak of the devil.”

Cody ran out of the office and out the door to wait as Mark drove in.

“Hey.” Simon stared at the floor, brushing a stray lock of hair behind his ear. “Umm…I might need to go home early.”

Sara wasn’t confused by the sudden shift. Simon had been a mystery on many levels through the years, but she knew his heart. “Just let me know.”

“Thanks.” He paused a moment longer. “For everything.”

“Yeah.” Sara nodded just as Mark came into the office.

She stood up and wrapped her arms around him before he could even put the two heavy bags in his hands down. “Hey! I missed you! You have to tell me everything!”

He dropped the bags and returned the hug. “Oh, I absolutely do, but first I brought omiyage!”

He bent down and grabbed a long box in each hand. “I went to the loneliest little konbini in the snowiest part of Hokkaido and packed these boxes with trash.”

Sara’s eyes went full raccoon in a dumpster. “Marky. Marky. Me. Me!”

He held them out, then pulled them back for a moment. “I call them…Wynter’s Treats.”

“Ok.” Sara nodded, her pulse racing in anticipation of gorging herself on the best worst food in the world. “Ok. Cool. Love it. Me.”

He lowered the boxes teasingly. Before he could pull them back, Sara owned them. She was quicker than his stoned ass any day. “Ha! Yes!”

He chuckled and reached back into the bag, pulling out a box for Cody. Cody opened the pack and froze.

“Holy shit, dude.” Cody threw his arms around him and hugged him. “Final Flash Vegeta, you fucker!”

Mark chuckled and pulled back. “Yeah, yeah. Now get back to work, asshole.”

They all chuckled as Mark pulled out the last gift, a small box, and handed it to Simon.

Simon opened it and his face went white. “What…”

Mark put a calming hand on his shoulder and smiled. “You always said how you wanted to find a necklace that fit you, and never got around to it.”

He slowly pulled the necklace out. He examined the charm on the end. It was a fixed compass pendant with a weed leaf in the center. “What…does it mean?”

Mark shrugged and laughed. “It was that or one that said Twinky Winky on it. Plus, the weed thing, right?”

Simon slowly nodded as he stared at it on his way out the door. “Thanks. I’ll…umm…we have like five people already. I’ll go take care of them.”

“What was your favorite part?” Sara leaned back in her chair after the others had cleared out to the salesfloor to let the chaos begin.

“Sara.” Mark said. “Girl. I did it. We are going home.”

Sara cocked her head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Into Tawagoto.” He said, completely fucking stone faced. He believed his own bullshit.

Tawagoto. The stupid fake world that had eaten more of their lives than sleep, sex, or responsible budgeting. The place Mark had been promising would save them since they were old enough to know better.

“Ok, Mark.” She nodded. “Let’s talk about that after we figure out how to keep the lights on.”

“No.” Mark pulled his backpack over and reached in. “You don’t get it.”

“I do, Mark.” She said. “I get it. Shit sucks. This hell sucks. That’s why we’ve shared a fucking apartment for twenty years.”

Mark gasped.

“Don’t start.” She said.

He relented. He pulled a book out. It was the DM guide she was so familiar with, but something was different. This one emitted a low-grade hum and a glowing green aura. “Wanna listen, now?”

“What the fuck is that?” Simon stepped in from the hall. “Did you do it?”

“I did it.” Mark opened the pages of the book. The text writhed and danced over the pages, but the text of the typical guide was different. All the names were names from Tawagoto, the homebrew world Mark had been running as their main game for over twenty years.

“It’s already ingested all of our stuff. We just need—”

“Character sheets!” Simon stormed from the office and into the breakroom.

“We doing this now?” Cody shrugged, staring at his new Vegeta in one hand and handing Mark his character sheet with the other. “Like you just got me the damn Vegeta.”

Simon crashed back into the room, his character sheet in hand. He slapped it down on the table and furiously erased something and scribbled over it. “Mine.”

Mark looked down at the sheets. “Cody taking rogue again. Figures.”

“No!” Simon tapped the stack of papers in his hand. “You’re not the experienced dex user. I am.”

Mark looked at the sheet. “Wood Elf Ranger. Very you.”

“I am not going to be stuck as a fucking tank!” Cody said. “I want to try something new!”

“This isn’t try something new territory, Cody.” Sara added. “This is rest-of-our life shit if it’s real.”

“Simon.” Mark scratched his head. “This says female wood elf.”

Simon’s eyes went wide, and Sara saw something grab him. “Twelve percent smaller hitbox and plus two dex. It’s purely survival math.”

“Dude.” Cody said. “You’re like Andre the Giant’s mirror!”

“Cody!” Sara put on her best anti-harassment manager face and shook her head no. “Overruled. Whatever he wants to play.”

“Thank you, Sara.” Simon uncomfortably folded his hands over his chest.

BAZZZ

Sara looked up. Fuck. “Craig.”

Mark slammed the book into his bag and put it on the couch looking up at the cam. “Shit.”

“I got it.” Simon strode down the hall.

She watched on the cam as the two talked for a brief moment, but then Simon tensed.

Sara got up and pushed past Mark and Cody, storming down the hall. She got to the salesfloor to see them already heated.

“You’re not gonna scare me away again, big boy.” Craig sneered.

“Don’t call me that.” Simon took a measured step closer. He towered over Craig by a foot, at least.

“Big. Boy.” Craig waved jazz hands at him, still not seeing Sara coming from behind. “Now go get the bitch.”

Simon took another step before Sara pushed in between them.

“The bitch is right here, Craig.”

Craig looked down at her and snarled. “Get your boy off me.”

“Aaargh!” A heavy fist sailed over Sara’s head, landing square on Craig’s jaw.

Sara saw the tooth fly out. Then his head crack against the hard concrete floor. Adrenaline spiked through her veins. The customers gasped and sputtered their lungs full of butter as they panicked and ran out the door, at least one already on the phone. Shit.

“Simon.” She turned. “Shit.”

Simon’s hands were over his mouth, wide eyed in horror as he backed away. “I can’t go to jail. Not like this. Please.”

A weak sputter jerked Sara’s gaze at Craig. He was moving. “Thank fuck. Get in the back. Right now.”

Simon ran to the back while Sara made sure the last customer was out and she locked the door. The onlookers took pictures as she dashed into the hall and to the office. Mark already had the book out and chanting. Cody was sitting on the couch holding his bag and his Vegeta as the sirens appeared. They had minutes if the universe was being generous. And the universe had all the charity of a billionaire.

“Fuck.” She said as she looked at the camera to see the local patrolman, who was a regular at their door. “It’s Billy. Fuck. Exigent circumstance.”

“What’s that mean?” Simon panicked and clutched his character sheet to his chest.

“That means—”

CRASH

They saw Billy on the camera breaking in at the sight of Craig on the ground. Cars swarmed up right behind and officers flooded in behind. A portal began to form in the center of the office. Sara’s heart raced. He really fucking did it. They weren’t going to make it.

“Fuck!” Sara slammed the office door shut and put her back against it, digging her heels in. “If you’re doing something, Marky, do it now!”

She felt it before she saw the boot hit the door on the camera. The first hit was all it took. She was tiny. She flew down as the door crashed open and Billy leveled his taser right at Mark.

“Police!” He yelled as he shot his taser.

Sara felt the pull. It was like her skin was being shredded into a billion pieces as she watched the taser hit the book and the portal glitch just a fraction of a second before everything went black.