“Holy fucking shit!”

Sara looked out at the massive, cracked asphalt parking lot. It was completely full of horse-drawn wagons, and the line of eager customers wrapping around the block for their opening day celebration was staggering.

“There must be two hundred people out here!”

Men, women, children, and a dozen fantasy races Sara couldn't even name all waited patiently at the edge of the property line. A large wooden sign—written in every language the party could figure out using their collective stat blocks—instructed the crowd on where to wait. The line wrapped entirely around the far side of the parking lot and was expertly split in two near the entrance so delivery wagons could still get in and out of the loading zone.

The concrete patio had been cordoned off as a VIP staging area, and the team was gathered around the fire pit, waiting for Sara’s lead. Their aggressive billboard campaign with Jeffrey McNichol had actually worked. And the Shafted laborers who had answered Pete Steel-Shaft's call had taken absolutely no time to erect their own small, goth-dwarven village in the tree line and build everything Sara had asked for on the property.

“There weren't half this many people at Craig’s massive anniversary celebration back on Earth,” Mark said, nervously tugging at his Changeling goatee.

“That celebration was the most foot traffic they’ve ever had, period,” Raven said, leaning against a Kong chair. “I worked at that specific Pizza Hut the entire time the vape shop was next door, and that place was busy, but it was never like this.”

“You sure we can handle this kind of volume, boss-bro?” Chadwick asked, his massive Minotaur arms crossed over his chest.

“I am,” Sara said, her retail-manager instincts locking into place. She stepped to the front of the group, holding her trusty clipboard. “Now, I want to go over everything before we open the doors.”

Sara took stock of her crew. Aside from Mark, Cody, and Simone, Chadwick and Raven had been reliable staples since the beginning. Adding Kaori the Druid and an advance team of twenty Shafted builders bolstered their workforce enough to cover almost every detail of the launch.

“Jacoalby Shaftix,” Sara called out, looking at the detail of goth-dwarves gathered around the perimeter of the patio. “You, Rayna Coal, and Jill Offjack have the Suckin’ Vapes sales floor.”

“Aye,” Jacoalby confirmed, his spiked eyeliner sharp.

“Chud Vayne,” she continued down her list. “You and Jonny Corn have the Pho King food pavilion.”

“Got it,” Chud grunted, adjusting his heavy leather apron.

“Simone,” Sara looked at the Ranger. “Volunteering for the Party Mart liquor annex is… crazy, but you’ve got the lead. Grab some free Shafted and make some sales.”

“I’ve got my team ready,” Simone smiled, looking at the small, intimidating group of Dwarves surrounding her. “We’ll sell out by noon.”

“Yes, you will,” Sara nodded confidently. “And then we will need to figure out the logistics of a restock later today. Rob Zombeard…”

“Yeah,” a towering Dwarf who looked exactly like his gruesome namesake stepped forward, dreadlocks swaying.

“You have the haunted house attraction fully built in the back lot?” Sara questioned.

“Yeah,” Rob nodded slowly. “Me and Shardi Moon stayed up the last three days getting the practical effects perfect.”

“Good.” She checked the box on her clipboard. “You’ll have to show me around it later.”

“It’s so fucking cool!” Mark chimed in eagerly. “Thanks for letting me use my Wizard cantrips to help with the lighting effects!”

Sara nodded. “Absolutely, Mark. Great use of utility magic. Cody, what games do you have ready for the kids in the courtyard?”

Cody smiled, his furry Catfolk cheeks twitching as he tried not to bust up laughing. “I did have Simone Says set up, but I guess that’s off the table for obvious reasons. I have the one-man three-legged race, bobbing for assholes, and Duck Duck Moose.”

Sara blinked slowly. “These are supposed to be kids' games, Cody. You know that, right?”

“Yep.” Cody didn’t elaborate.

“Kaori,” Sara looked at the newest member of their group. “Keep him in line.”

“Makasete!” Kaori bounced on her heels, her Druidic floral armor shifting, completely unable to contain her nervous energy.

“Ok,” Sara pivoted, addressing the leadership. “Chadwick, you and I are roaming the grounds, plugging holes where we’re needed until seven o'clock. At that time, you’ll be on your own as acting Manager, and I’ll be setting up the main stage for the show. Raven is on roaming perimeter security with the Orc Butlerguards. Everyone else is on active cleanup and maintenance. Everyone ready?”

A loud chorus of agreement rose from the patio. Sara knew it was going to be an incredibly long day. She checked her digital watch; the battery was somehow still holding a charge. “Ten minutes to open. Everyone in position.”

The crew dispersed efficiently.

Sara walked quickly back to the Kid Cutters barracks and sat on the newly built, sturdy wooden bed she had claimed in the front corner of the room. The Shafted had made the dorm room genuinely nice. Heavy timber beds lined the walls, complete with sliding privacy screens and individual wooden cubbies.

She plopped down, dropped her clipboard on the mattress, and sighed. For two of her ten precious minutes of downtime, she simply stared blankly into the void, clearing all logistical thoughts from her buzzing mind.

She reached into her bag, grabbed the first of her scavenged 5-Hour Energy bottles, and chugged the warm liquid down. A ripple of absolute ick washed down her spine. So fucking syrupy and acidic. She coughed, shaking her head.

She looked at the acoustic guitar she’d moved from the Suckin’ Vapes manager’s office into her cubby. It had been sitting in the break room since her very first day on Earth, and she’d played it every single day after her shifts. Sometimes she would just sit there with her tiny amp after closing and jam for hours. Badly. But she was a literal D&D Bard now. Her stats had completely rewritten her muscle memory. She could play all the complex songs she had desperately wanted to play before but physically couldn’t.

Later.

She pulled her cell phone out. The offline downloaded files still worked. She opened Spotify and pressed play on the massive playlist she’d curated specifically for this event. Everything from Beartooth to Awich to Maximum the Hormone was on it. She wanted to officially hook the medieval residents of this world on the best music ever recorded.

She was incredibly thankful the Shafted knew exactly how to create and route raw electricity after Mark had clumsily explained the concept to them using Lightning magic. They were really fucking good at what they did, and Sara simply couldn’t understand how they were so hated and othered by the upper crust in Rocksylvania. As far as she was concerned, they had a permanent home here with her faction forever, and she genuinely hoped they brought their families up from the Plunderdark as soon as they could.

It was time.

She had spent every bit of her emotional and physical energy getting ready for this launch, and now she was exhausted. Tired as hell. Running on no sleep, forgetting to eat her rations, actively neglecting her brand-new girlfriend. A heavy sigh escaped her lips. She hoped it was all worth it.

She took a deep breath, reaching over to the wooden bedside table, and picked up a half-smoked joint of the Halfling Leaf that was just laying all around the place now. The barracks practically smelled of it. She lit it and took a massive, deep draw.

Her eyes shot wide as the magical THC hit her system. The static in her brain instantly muted. The crushing anxiety of the day smoothed out into a laser-focused, managerial hum.

She grabbed her clipboard, took another big hit to seal the focus, and firmly stubbed the joint out in a makeshift ashtray.

She moved out of the barracks with renewed purpose in her step, navigating the chaotic back hallways until she found Chino Boreahole, the Shafted foreman who was in charge of this forward operating group, handing out final duties to his crew.

“Tarja Two-Runes,” Chino commanded, his dwarven voice sure and steady. “You and Quarry Taylor work the main line. Keep ‘em… in line.”

“Aye!” they responded in unison.

“Dirt Coalbane,” Chino jerked his thick thumb back toward Sara as she approached. “You, Cave Grohl, Krist Novashaleic, and Pit Smear are with the boss lady for the music show tonight. But for now, you’re all on stage prep.”

“Got it!” the four grunge-dwarves responded, grabbing coils of thick black cable and heading out the back door.

Chino turned, checking his own wooden clipboard, and greeted her. “Boss. What can I do for you?”

“What would it take for you all to build another freestanding building just like the main stores?” Sara wondered, looking out the window at the empty side lot. “I want to build a dedicated dispensary for the Halfling Leaf.”

Chino considered her, tapping a charcoal pencil against his clipboard. “We could do it,” he thought aloud. “But we would need way more than just the twenty of us. We have other infrastructure projects and defensive responsibilities to keep up with here. As is, it would take us several months.”

“Can we bring more Shafted up from the Plunderdark on contract?” she wondered.

“I’m always up for labor negotiation,” he nodded respectfully.

“Ok,” she said, her business brain humming. “I will see you in the office after I see how the financials go today.”

“I look forward to it,” he agreed. “Now, I have a lot of routing to do. And so do you.”

She nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Sara walked out the front doors and made her way to the absolute head of the massive line, where Chadwick was already casually chatting with some of the excited customers and showing off their newest GeekVape mechanical mods.

“You ready?” she asked the Minotaur.

He nodded, a wide grin on his bovine face. “I am more than ready, boss-bro.”

Sara stepped up to the wooden podium they had set up near the doors. She grabbed the microphone the Shafted had miraculously rigged to the scavenged Bluetooth speaker system. “Hello, everyone! Can I have your attention, please?”

The roar of the crowd quieted down immediately. Only the children—who were already running wildly through the lot, puffing on their old VMMF vapes—continued making noise.

“Welcome to Suckin’ Vapes’s grand opening celebration!”

A massive, raucous cheer went up, traveling like a shockwave across the parking lot. Sara took a brief, deeply uncomfortable beat to compose herself. They weren't cheering for her. They were cheering for the nicotine.

“Today only, there’s twenty-five percent off everything in the vape shop!” she announced, her voice booming over the speakers. “And the more you buy, the more you save! Thirty-five percent off if you spend over one hundred gold!”

Another cheer went up, this time much louder and more desperate. The crowd seemed actively restless. She looked at her watch. The digital numbers clicked over to 10:00 A.M. exactly.

She drew her scavenged iron dagger, stepped out from behind the podium, and cleanly sliced through the ceremonial red ribbon tied across the doors. “Have fun!”

The massive line was actually a lot less rowdy than she had anticipated. The group filed in without issue, entering the SV doors one or two at a time, and leaving shortly after with massive, crinkling bags full of chemical swag, heading off to get food and play games.

Things were going incredibly well. People were laughing, smiling, and having a genuinely good time on her property.

By two hours in, Raven looked bored as hell standing near the front doors. Sara jogged over to check on her. “No problems?”

“Nope,” Raven said, shaking her head and crossing her arms. “This shit just does something to them that completely calms them down. I remember opening day at VMMF was an absolute nightmare. The people were hostile and violent. This docile behavior? This is the physiological result of a year of this shit in their veins.”

Sara felt a deep, sickening wave of discomfort, but she didn’t let it get her down. She had a plan. “Yeah. But when we finally beat Craig out of this market, we silently switch everything they buy to zero-nicotine juice. We wean the entire kingdom off the addiction, and then we retire in… I don’t know. Maybe here.”

Raven nodded, her pale eyes softening as she looked at Sara. “I like it here.”

Sara smiled warmly. “Me, too.”

She continued her managerial rounds until she found Mark standing outside the imposing, black-painted facade of the Shafted's haunted house, talking excitedly to a few young customers.

“Oh yeah! I loved haunted houses as a teen!” Mark was saying. “There was this place called Industrial Nightmare back home that just fucking rocks. I like practical, gory stuff like that way more than dreary, atmospheric shit like Waverly Manor.”

“That place sounds boring!” yelled a little Kobold girl. She was white-knuckling a Konnichiwa Cat vape in her scaly grip. “I want a place where shit actually gets eaten alive!”

Mark grabbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. “Yeah, our world wasn’t really like that. No one actually gets eaten at a haunted house.”

“Then what the fuck is the point?” asked her older, clearly edgy, goth-Kobold brother.

There was a clear, awkward discomfort settling in, so Sara stepped in. “How are things over here, Mark?”

Mark looked incredibly relieved to see her. “Great! I was just waiting until the next group goes inside.”

“Good,” she nodded. “Did Rob Zombeard do a good job?”

“Dude,” Mark nodded emphatically. “He absolutely lives up to his namesake. It's terrifying in there.”

Sara nodded and made a sharp tick on her clipboard. “Great. Keep it up. Let me or Chadwick know if you need anything.”

Mark reached out and grabbed her shoulder gently as she turned to leave. “You ready for the show tonight? This is a big deal.”

She shrugged and scoffed, feigning confidence. “Having a supernaturally high Perform stat has made it so I can play absolutely everything I already could perfectly, and everything I struggled with, too. I’m ready.”

Mark took an extra beat, smiling proudly at his friend. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” she responded, heading off to find Cody.

She searched through the courtyard where the kids' games were set up, seeing the Shafted running them smoothly, until she realized she couldn’t find the Catfolk anywhere. She scratched her head and asked one of the Dwarven workers. “Where’s Cody?”

“He’s in the Punking Booth,” the Dwarf grunted, jerking a thumb over to the far corner of the area.

Sara looked over. A hastily built wooden shack stood alone in the grass. People were lined up to go inside the front door, and they were coming out the back door completely covered in thick, white foam.

Sara shook her head, sighed heavily, and cut straight to the front of the line, pushing through the wooden door.

As soon as she stepped across the threshold, a massive tin pie pan filled with shaving cream landed squarely in her face with a wet smack.

She stood perfectly still, eyes closed, until the heavy aluminum pan fell to the floor clattering. She slowly wiped the foam from her eyes.

“Cody,” she said, looking around the small shack for the source of the muffled, obvious belly-laughing. “What exactly is this?”

Cody popped out from behind a simple plywood corner, holding another pie, and gestured proudly to a massive stack of cream pies on a table. “It never gets old.”

She just shook her head, wiping her cheek. “Good work. It’s a very popular attraction. Are you coming to the show tonight?”

He laughed loudly as he got back into his throwing position behind the wall. “Only if I run out of pies!”

She shook her head and grinned as she walked out the back door. There was no stopping Cody from Codying. There never was. There never would be. “Have fun.”

She left the shack and walked straight over to Party Mart, finding Simone sitting behind the wooden counter, rapidly ringing people up with a bright, glowing smile Sara had literally never seen on her face back on Earth.

“Hey! How’s it going?” Sara asked.

“Really good!” Simone said, handing a bottle of mead to a customer. “I have a date for the show tonight now!”

Sara’s eyes pulled wide, and she smiled warmly, genuinely thrilled. “I am so happy for you! Who is it?”

“It’s a human guy from Sunnydale,” Simone beamed, leaning over the counter to whisper. “His name is Julian. He’s fucking ripped!”

Sara chuckled at her friend's newfound, unbridled happiness. “I can’t wait to meet him. I’m going to go get ready now. I want a full briefing on the date later!”

“Definitely!” Simone smiled, turning back to the register.

Sara left the liquor store and walked back to the barracks to get her acoustic guitar. She put the clipboard down on her bed, threw the heavy leather guitar strap over her shoulder, and walked out to the main stage.

The Shafted roadies were nearly ready for her. “You all went over the setlist?” Sara asked.

Dirt Coalbane nodded, adjusting his grungy flannel leathers. “You just do your part, boss. We got ours.”

Suddenly, the massive stage lights popped on, blindingly illuminating the wooden stage in the twilight. Electric guitars ripped to life with a heavy, distorted crunch, and the kick drums resounded through the chests of everyone in the parking lot.

“Test, test.” Sara checked the mic, her magically enhanced voice instantly commanding the crowd's attention. “The show is about to begin.”

The parking lot rapidly filled with people abandoning their games and shopping to flock to the stage. Nerves bit deep into her stomach as she strummed her guitar, making sure it was in perfect tune.

Her first show ever. Here, in a cracked asphalt parking lot. In the fantasy realm of Tawagoto.

She checked over the setlist taped to the monitor wedge. Mostly heavy metal and hip-hop, and mostly Japanese. She’d meticulously learned the lyrics to all her favorite Japanese songs as she leveled up her real-world Japanese Language Proficiency Test. Getting to N1 took almost a year, but she had studied every single day in hopes she would one day make it to Osaka.

It was time.

She looked out into the crowd. Simone stood in the very front row, eagerly talking to a big, buff human holding a drink and wearing a black shirt and blue pants. His black hair was perfect, and Sara could instantly tell Simone was totally into him. Everyone was there. Raven, Kaori, and Chadwick stood together on the side stage watching her. Mark hovered proudly in the back corner of the lot. And Cody was pushing through the crowd, holding a handful of pies.

It was time.

Sara strummed a single, massive, distorted power chord that magically echoed across the entire valley. She leaned into the mic.

“Tawagoto! Are you ready?”

 

[SYSTEM ALERT: Encounter Cleared.]

[SYSTEM ALERT: Faction Standing with BIGDIKDADDYZ69 has changed from Neutral to Hated.]

[XP Awarded: 14,000]

[Level Up Available! Unspent Attribute Points: 16]