
Yvette woke up to the pleasant surprise of finding herself in a jail cell.
Despite how it may seem, her appreciation for this fact was entirely genuine. She had expected to have been thrown overboard onto the ground far below, as was the typical consequence of failing in defending against a hoard of sky pirates.
Not that her treatment at their hands had been anything close to delicate. The throbbing pain in the back of her head made it clear that Yvette had been thrown into her cell rather violently, and her various wounds had yet to be treated.
She had also been stripped of any usable gear. Her armor was mostly useless when it came to magic anyways, but Yvette had always felt naked when her sword was not within reach. The pirates had also thought to check her boots as well, so the throwing knives and lockpick were gone as well.
All that was left was her clothes and single iron stud of an earring, too old and worn to be worth stealing. Yvette let out a resigned sigh, but she wasn’t particularly surprised. Frankly, she would have been insulted to have been defeated by anyone who wasn’t at least this thorough.
Deciding to focus on her injuries for the time being, she opened her [Status] with a flick of her left wrist.
—
Yvette
Level 33 Stagnant Bulwark
Attunement: Earth, Mud, Silt, Water
Mana: 75/75 (90)
Effects: Earthen Skin, Stagnant Blood
Conditions: Concussed, Fallen Grace, Infected Wounds (minor)
—
Cursing under her breath, Yvette began channeling the spell [Purge] to hopefully rid herself of whatever had gotten into the handful of shallow wounds dotted across her body. At the very least her passives were still up, which meant her captors didn’t have access to a disruptor.
As the azure wisps of water mana began to wrap around her arms, Yvette heard a gruff shout from outside her cell.
“Oi! You looking for trouble, asshole? Cut that out!”
Looking through the bars properly for the first time since she woke up, Yvette saw an unpleasant looking man glaring at her. His pants and tunic were covered in all sorts of stains and his yellow skin could be smelled from meters away.
She wrinkled her nose in combined disgust and nervousness, but did not stop her channeling. “My wounds are infected. I need to purge them before they become dangerous.”
He scowled and rammed the butt of his musket against the bars of the cell, clearly not happy to be spoken to in such a condescending tone. “Oh yeah? And how am I supposed to know you’re not trying to break out?”
Yvette snorted, more out of exasperation than amusement. “This cell is warded. You’ll be fine.”
“You don’t get to-”
“Lay off her, Jules. Captain’ll be mad if he has to sell her damaged.”
The new voice came from a younger looking man leaning against the far wall of the hallway. He lazily crunched through a browning apple as he admonished his coworker, seeming to be far less engaged by his guard duties.
As “Jules” grumbled back to his post, Yvette continued to channel her magic while taking in her situation. By the sounds of it, the pirates were planning on selling her off as a slave of some sorts. Alarming as that was, it did seem sensible. Dual aligned mages like her were rare, after all. They tended to sell for a premium to the right buyers.
[Purge] took a frustrating amount of time to cast without the help of a focus. What normally could have been invoked with a single word now required a full minute of focus to fully manifest. One had to wonder what the point of multiple guards even was when their prisoners were met with such limitations.
Regardless, the spell did seem to do the trick. A thick, yellowish bile oozed its way out of Yvette’s wounds. The effect was rather disgusting, but a quick wipe with a torn-off length of her left pant leg was enough to ensure there would be no further risk of infection. Or at the very least as little as there could be in the hull of a fetid pirate ship.
Satisfied that her health was no longer under active danger, Yvette began to stretch herself out. Under normal circumstances, she would have prepared to gather any information that could help her stage a breakout.
This planned surveillance was interrupted as a cheerful voice called out from the cell next to her.
“Woah… What’s all that gross stuff?”
Realizing for the first time that she was not alone in her imprisonment, Yvette turned to see a… child?
The first thing she noticed was the girl's bizarre outfit. Her oversized green pants and olive boots were contrasted horrifically by a yellow poncho… thing. It looked like someone had tried to make a coat of some kind, but gave up halfway through and made the right half into a blanket. The whole thing was covered in forest-green sigils and fronds that made it look like something was growing out of it.
Its wearer wasn’t quite as odd looking, but still felt a bit off. Her wheat colored hair was short and messy, yet maintained well enough to keep a smooth sheen that you normally only saw with nobles. Additionally, she had some odd coloring to her face, as if she had been regularly wearing face paints until somewhat recently.
This strange girl stared at Yvette with a look of profound innocence and curiosity, regarding her with a lack of trepidation she had not encountered since leaving her homeland.
Hesitantly, Yvette responded to the child. “Most people would introduce themselves before asking a question like that.”
“Oh, really? Sorry, sorry.” The girl scratched the back of her head as she laughed off the blunt response. “I’m Gigi! What’s your name?”
“Yvette.”
“Oooh… Cool name! Where’s it from?” Gigi’s eyes were practically sparkling.
“Tyr.”
The girl tilted her head. “Where’s that?”
Yvette paused at that. A child’s lack of knowledge was hardly surprising, but it was rare to find anyone who hadn’t heard of the divine nation of silt. Many parents used the people of Tyr as convenient boogeymen for bedtime stories, as much responsible for punishing liars as they were for the rising cost of bread.
The complete lack of recognition that Gigi showed to the name just didn’t make any sense.
Yvette sat up, engaging the child with a bit more focus.
“A bit north of here… Where are you from?”
“Fuir!”
Where the hell was that? The name sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t quite place where she had heard it from. It must have been quite the interesting place for someone like this to have come from.
“And where is that?”
Gigi looked as if she was about to answer, then puzzled for a few seconds with a confused look on her face. Failing to come to any concrete answer, she shrugged nonchalantly.
“Dunno. It kind of goes all over, you know?”
Goes all over… Ah. That explained it.
Yvette stood up and walked towards the bars that divided her from Gigi. She continued to press the cross-legged child as she loomed over her.
“A divine city then. What element is it bound to?”
“Dunno.”
Yvette’s eye twitched as she tried to keep her annoyance from showing. “What do you mean ‘dunno’?”
“I mean dunno.” The girl shrugged again. “No one explains anything to me.”
“I see.” This made sense to Yvette. She got the feeling that explaining anything to this gremlin child was a monumental effort. “Then what is it like? How do the people there act?”
Gigi crossed her arms as she began to pout. “Oh, it sucks! Everyone’s always so happy all the time, they don’t even know how to have fun anymore. Plus, everything there is super old and gross. It’s always falling apart and no one ever wants to fix it…”
Yvette rolled these words over in her head, trying to make sense of them. She had never heard of a city like that before, at least not by that name. The closest comparison she could make would be to Joier, the city of gas, but as foolish as Gigi was it seemed unlikely that she would get the name of her home wrong.
There was obviously the chance that the child was simply lying, but her frustrations appeared genuine. It seemed more likely that this was simply a city that Yvette was not familiar with. There were quite a few of them, after all, and few were of any relevance to her.
Turning to the lazier of the two guards, she decided to get information from a more reliable source.
“Hey.” She spoke out, trying to get his attention. “Who even is this?”
He fixed her with an exasperated stare. “Why does it matter?”
Yvette shrugged. “Idle curiosity?”
The man rolled his eyes as he tried to pry whatever apple flesh was left on the gnawed core in his hand. “Just check her [Status]. Doubt you’d believe it any other way.”
She flashed a wary glance towards the child next to her. What could her status even matter? Even if Gigi had a family name or whatever, which she very much doubted, there was no way a wandering mercenary like Yvette would recognize it. Confused, she silently invoked [Inspect] to see what the big deal was.
To the idle pirate’s credit, he was correct. There was no way Yvette would have believed him if he had just told her directly. Honestly, she wasn’t sure she believed it even as the truth flashed in front of her eyes. Blood cold as ice, she read through Gigi’s [Status] one more time.
—
Virginie (Gigi) DeFuir
Level 4
Attunement: Air, Cloud, Water
—
Baffled, she gestured towards the child while questioning their captors.
“What the hell is this?”
The lazy guard just laughed. “Told you, didn’t I?”
“But what… It… What kind of sick bastard would make a child into a saint? She hasn’t even unlocked her alignment yet!”
He shrugged. “Beats me. Lots of sick people out there, yeah? Anyways, that should answer your question just fine.”
“But…” Yvette’s fingernails were digging into her palms to the point she worried they would draw blood. “I’ve never even heard of Fuir. Where did you even find her?”
“None of you damn business!” The other guard shouted.
“Calm down, Jules. You’re making us look unprofessional.” The man combed his hands through grease-ridden hair. “But he is right that you don’t need to know that. To be honest I’ve never heard of the place either, but the captain says enough people probably do to make some good money off of her.”
Yvette’s eyes narrowed as she attempted to restrain her expression once more. “Seems like a bit of a gamble.”
“How so? There’s no way to change your name in your [Status], so she definitely ain’t a fake. And if neither of us have heard of ‘Fuir,’ then I bet anyone who cares about her doesn’t matter.”
“But that’s-”
“Listen, lady.” Jules interrupted. “I don’t know what you’re trying here, but it’s not gonna work. You killed a lot of good friends of mine yesterday, and I’m going to make sure you get exactly what you deserve for that.”
Yvette closed her mouth. To be honest, she also didn’t really know what she was trying to do. Whatever Gigi’s situation was, it had nothing to do with her. Whatever it was couldn’t be worth the memories it brought up, so it would be best if she-
“Hey Yvette?”
She turned to the child, who was now pushing her face up to the bars. “What.”
“These guys keep talking about selling people. Can they… really do that?”
Yvette let out another long sigh as she leaned back against a wall. “...There are people in this world who see others as tools to be bought and sold. To them, you and I are only valuable so long as we are being used.”
“Are they happy?”
The silence that followed that question lasted for several minutes.
“They probably think they are.” Yvette finally responded.
Gigi’s arms swirled subtly with a gust of air magic as her next words were concealed for Yvette’s ears only. “...I think I know a way for us to get out of here. Can you help me?”
“...Very well.”



Hi DameHocus,
What stood out to me about Fool's Guard wasn't just the LitRPG setting, but the contrast between Etra's grand, broken world and Yvette's deeply personal goal of disappearing into obscurity. In a land where immortal god-mages reshape continents, flying cities cling to survival, and everyone dreams of gaining a system, it's refreshing to follow someone who wants no part of becoming a legend. Pairing her with Gigi, a child marked as a [Saint], creates an immediate tension between anonymity and destiny that feels compelling. The addition of a barely-civilized chimera and a surprisingly violent monk makes the journey sound like it will balance danger, heart, and unexpected moments of humanity in a world that's slowly losing it.
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