Chapter 32: Discount Season
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After Quincy and I got our ass kicked by Emperor Marcus we both needed to prepare to go to Ayana. I was told by the guards that it takes a week to get to Ayana by horse carriage, but I got a snazzy airship so it would probably cut travel time in half. Luckily, the guards let me park it right outside of the castle since it floats and I can just open a portal to get onto it. Quincy and his party told me that they have to go get the last member of their party before we set off. I think Quincy told me his name was Warren, but I still haven’t met him yet. Willow told me he currently looks like a homeless man since he has this strange beard. That’s a strange description, but I guess that alludes to him going through some rough times since he didn’t even bother to show up and cheer on Quincy in our fight yesterday. Hopefully he’s more competent than the Adam fellow Quincy tells me about. I’ve heard he’s completely useless in a fight and cowers in a corner while the rest of the party fights. Even Azura is helpful in a fight due to her strengthening and weakening magic and she’s our group’s healer. Actually no, just thinking about how mad Azura gets when Ryder misbehaves scares me into thinking she could kick my butt if I did something wrong. I just remembered that I actually need to meet up with Azura since we are assigned to do the shopping in preparation for our next quest. I’d bring Nazuko along, but I fear getting in trouble if she stole something while we weren’t looking.

“Hey, Good Morning,” I called out.

She’s standing in the middle of the plaza waiting for me. She looks as good as ever today.

“Good Morning, are you ready to do a little shopping,” Azura responds.

“As long as I can’t die from shopping I’m always ready,” I tell her.

“Hmm, well it is discount season in the market at the moment so be careful or you might get trampled over by all the shoppers. People even challenge each other to duels over products, it’s kind of fun to watch,” she says joyfully.

Oh boy I hope discount season isn’t as frantic and painful as Black Friday is back home. I still remember how crazy people get over half-off tv’s.

We walk a few minutes into the market and it’s worse than I imagined. There’s a lot of yelling and bargaining going on as well as fights over goods. There’s even a couple of old lady’s fighting over what looks to be a bar of soap.

“Jesus, this is worse than Black Friday. I thought going shopping with a girl would be a boring and painless experience,” I say out loud.

“Nope, that’s why you're here today. To do all of the fighting, while I do the bargaining. We have a budget of 2000 gold so feel free to go crazy with whatever deals you can find. Prioritize healing and stamina items, then any magic scrolls or magic weapons you can find. We are going to need a lot of gear to sustain our next expedition,” she informs me.

Sheesh, if I knew things were going to turn out like this, maybe I should have brought Nazuko along today.

“Oh great, fine I’ll give it my all,” I sigh.

I put on my armor and charge into a crowd of people.

“Oh crap is that the first hero,” I hear someone say.

“Yeah it's the portal menace,” someone else responds.

“We won’t lose to you first hero, those goods are ours,” the first guy says.

“Yeah let’s get him, let’s show the portal menace the strength of Colonus’s people,” the second guy says.

The two guys seem to rally all the people in the crowd against me. Geez I didn’t know how seriously people get when fighting for good deals.

For the next half hour I end up fighting everyone in the crowd over cheap goods. I punch one guy in the face and kick another who tried to jump on top of me and he goes flying into another crowd of people. I’m hitting people in every direction now. It's like that one scene in Naruto where Sasuke is destroying all of Naruto’s clones. I take a page out of the emperor’s book and open a bunch of portals everywhere so people end up appearing in different places and landing on people. I’m definitely living up to the name of the portal menace now. While this is happening Azura is talking with all the shopkeepers and trying to get the best deals from them. The guards in the area aren’t doing a darn thing to stop all the fighting so I guess they’re used to people behaving this way during discount season.

On the other hand, how am I even capable of fighting like this? I don’t know martial arts, I’m a swordsman but somehow I feel like I know a bit of basic combat skills.

It’s due to one of your abilities.

It is? Clearly I don’t know the scope of all the abilities my specialization grants me,” I complain.

Shall I explain your current capabilities? I can see what power remains hidden if you so wish.

Oh heck yeah, I don’t know anything about the abilities of Niten Ichi Ryu, other than the fact that it involves dual wielding. Is it just a bunch of sword techniques since that’s all that comes to mind at the moment?” I ask Mythril.

Your abilities stem from one main power, the Book of Five Rings: Gives the user knowledge and philosophy about various sword techniques as well as how the user should behave spiritually. Is divided into five sub abilities.

Five sub abilities, I wonder if I’ve been using them subconsciously without knowing.

You have. Try to think of the situations in which they have been used as I explain them to you now.

Ok, sure I guess,

The first one is the Book of Earth: Grants the user knowledge of several forms of martial arts and fighting styles. Gives a bonus to leadership and charisma skills. Also allows the user to learn new techniques and skills outside of swordsmanship at a much faster rate than others, however not as fast as those who have a war class dedicated to such techniques.

Huh, well that explains, my accelerated growth with magic, as well as how I’m beating all these people up, I say as I do a backflip to avoid a guy swinging with an axe.

It’s kind of hard to listen to Mythril while fighting, but since it’s spoken directly into my head, I can hear it loud and clear.

The second one is the Book of Water: Grants the user knowledge of all Niten Ichi Ryu techniques. Not all sword techniques are usable from the beginning, as the user becomes more experienced more become available.

Makes sense, that was the ability I was expecting the most, that was the only ability I’ve been consciously using,” I respond as I throw another guy into a portal and he lands on the top of the shop.

The third is the Book of Fire: Allows the user to instantly observe and analyze an opponent's strategy in battle. Grants the user the instinct ability. Instinct is the ability to instantly identify “the best personal course of action” during combat. Because this Skill allows for the prediction of trajectory, it is possible to avoid attacks from firearms.

Wait?! I can do that, I didn’t know I could dodge gunfire, I guess that explains how I’m able to dodge Ryder’s flintlock during training. I guess this skill explains why I thought it was best to fight the Yeti outside the cave in the dungeon,

The fourth is the Book of Wind: The user is able to understand their opponent and incorporate elements of the opponent's fighting style into the users own style. Possibly the most powerful ability gained by users of Niten Ichi Ryu as it verges of the level of mimicking any technique or ability regardless of it being magical or physical.

I guess that explains how I was able to copy how the Emperor used his portals, although to a much lesser extent,

The fifth and final one is the Book of Void: This simply grants the user knowledge of how one should carry themselves in life. Deals with “that which cannot be seen.” One should learn to perceive that which you cannot understand or comprehend. Nothingness is the highest order a swordsman can attain. The ultimate mental state. One is nothing, thus invincible. Only a swordsman who has reached the infinite mental state can perceive this.

Umm, you know after everything else I kind of expected the final ability to be something more useful, like helping me to fight.

You cannot perceive the power of this ability because you do not understand what ‘Nothingness’ means. There is another ability hidden within, but it will take your whole life to understand.

My whole life! Well that’s just great, I have one useless ability then,

It is best to ignore this for now and attempt to better yourself instead.

It seems I’ve just about beat up everyone who’s challenged me to a fight. There’s a ton of people unconscious on the floor right now, but none of them are seriously hurt since I mostly just used my fists and gravity. I’m sore and almost out of stamina, I thought I wouldn't have to train today, but I guess I was wrong. I walked over to where Azura is standing with a large bag of goodies right next to her.

“Hah, hah, hah, Did you get everything? I don’t want to have to keep punching people,” I groan.

“Don’t worry I got some items from every stall here, although some shop owners started to raise prices as more people fell unconscious,” Azura says while showing me all the stuff she bought.

I suppose since there’s less people trying to buy stuff they can raise prices, maybe I should have punched a bit slower. On the other hand, wow she bought a whole lot of stuff, I hope I don’t have to carry all of that.

You could store it in your pocket dimension.

Oh yeah forgot about that,” I say mentally.

“Do you mind helping me carry all of this to our airship? I don’t think I can hold all of this by myself,” she asks.

“Actually I have a better idea,” I say as I toss the large bag of items into the void.

“Wow, that’s handy,” Azura notes.

“Sure is.”

After the little shopping massacre in the town square Azura and I headed back to where we parked the airship. It seems the rest of my party is here and ready as they are all geared up.

“Ok, guys, are you ready to put down a peasant rebellion?” I ask them.

“While I’m not so excited about fighting peasants it’s something we have to do. I guess I’ll just hit with the back of my sword then,” Lilith remarks.

“Yeah, and I’ll umm. . .” Remi stutters.

I think Remi doesn’t know what the animal equivalent of the back of a sword is. I don’t know what it is either so we are at a loss.

“You’ll have your wolf brutally rip the peasants to shreds?” I say provoking her.

“No, you idiot, I meant that I won’t be killing anyone,” Remi argues.

It’s always fun to tease Remi, however I should hold back lest I get knocked out like Nazuko.

“Yeah, and I’ll use less deadly explosions,” Ryder announces.

“I don’t know how you can have less deadly explosions, but okay?”

I fear the peasants are about to get a whole load of flashbangs launched at them.

So everyone’s here, except Quincy’s party, I wonder what’s taking them so long. I definitely know I told Quincy to meet here at 2 o’clock. About 15 minutes later I see Quincy’s group roll up in what looks like a 1920’s prohibition era gangster car but they don’t have any wheels, they’re floating above the ground. Where did they get that thing from? Oh right, Quincy told me about his run in with the mafia, that must be where they got it from. It’s hard to believe I’m the boss now. When I go back to Yrden I definitely have to act cool, and bosslike. I see four people step out of the car, it's actually quite amusing seeing everyone tower over Nerva, but I bet no one mentions it out of fear of getting punched. I see one tall guy I’ve never met before, I guess he must be Warren. He has on thin brown leather armor with brown fingerless gloves. He has short brown hair with brown eyes, and true to Willow’s description he has a brown beard that makes him look like a homeless man.

“Quincy is the homeless man there Warren?” I whisper quietly.

“Don’t call him a homeless man, he gets sensitive about that,” Quincy responds.

“Sorry, he just really gives off that vibe at the moment, Willow joked that he might be living in a shelter at the moment. You guys can park your car in the cargo bay of the airship by the way.”

Quincy tells Warren to drive the car into the far end of the airship and he drives off.

“Whoa, we’re riding in this thing,” Quincy gasps.

“Yep pretty impressive isn’t it. It’s like having your own personal jet, except it’s not that fast. Still it’s better than traveling by horse carriage right. It’s even got its own kitchen, and lounge. There’s quite a few bedrooms too, so feel free to choose anything you want,” I tell him.

I take a look at Quincy and the only thing he’s carrying is books.

“By the way did you bring anything other than books?” I ask him.

“No, all I need to sustain myself are books and we made Adam carry all of the stuff our party needs so there’s that,” Quincy responds.

I take a look at Adam struggling to carry a large sack of items on his back. He even falls over due to the weight of the sack and he can’t get back up. It’s like watching a turtle flip over on its shell, unable to flip back. Quincy and Nerva start to laugh at how pathetic Adam is right now. Ryder comes over, picks Adam and his sack up with one hand and tosses him into the ship. I guess when you’re that buff you can do things like that.

“So for our first adventure together do you think it’ll go horribly, or will it go smoothly?” I ask Quincy.

“Given what I know about our two parties all I can say is this. Your party is competent and will have an easier time with the peasant rebellion, while my group has to deal with something insanely stupid, and Adam get’s bullied,” he answers.

“Hmm, that’s comforting at least.”

About half an hour after everything gets settled and we take off in the direction of Ayana. Quincy then proceeds to annoy me with history facts for about the next 5 hours. It’s a great thing he can’t tell that I fell asleep 2 hours into the lecture since I had my helmet on the whole time. We’ve been flying around for a good few hours and it’s officially nighttime. I ask anyone on the ship if they know how to cook. I’m pretty sure Quincy doesn’t know how to cook, despite how well read he is. I guess cook books aren’t his forte. Nerva tries to cook, but causes some of the meat to get overcooked and it’s now a piece of black charcoal. I guess she shouldn’t have tried cooking using her flame powers since her’s are way too hot. In the end Azura made dinner for everyone while Ryder is the one flying the airship, which may be a cause for concern, but I don’t think we can crash into anything at this altitude.

“Wow, your cooking is really great. I think your skills are definitely mom tier for sure,” I complimented.

“Please don’t call me a mom, I’d like to think I am more of a reliable older sister than anything else,” Azura argues.

Ah, I see. So Azura is definitely oneechan level. That’s way scarier than mom level. I should be on my toes from now on.

After dinner we all decided to go to bed, but it seems I’ve made a fatal miscalculation. While I was correct in telling Quincy that there were plenty of rooms aboard the airship only about 8 of those rooms have beds. Given the fact that there are ten people aboard the ship and that the beds are only big enough to fit two people, then at least a few people have to share a room. Quincy calls dibs on a room by himself as well as Warren. It comes to a vote and we force Adam to have to share a room with someone.

“Adam you are not sleeping with anyone from my party or else I’m kicking you off the ship,” I threatened.

I’m going to protect the safe haven that is my party no matter what.

“Wait then that means...” Adam whimpers.

“Yep, you're stuck with Nerva, good luck,” I tell him.

“Don’t worry about it Adam you get to sleep with a girl,” Quincy adds.

“Nerva’s not a girl, she’s an angry fire demon,” Adam argues.

This pisses off Nerva and she throws Adam into a room and shuts the door. Now Nerva and Adam have to share a room, but knowing what Quincy told me about Nerva she’s probably going to make him sleep on the floor or something worse.

“Now for the hard part,” I mutter.

“Clearly Will and I will be sleeping together like always,” Nazuko announces.

Dang it, this is what I was afraid of.

“Oh no you're not,” Lilith speaks up.

“Eh?” Nazuko says all confused.

“Nani?” I gasp.

“Will, haven’t you been complaining that you can’t sleep whenever Nazuko shares your bed. Therefore I’ll be the one keeping you company tonight. Nazuko can have her own room,” Lilith claims.

“....” I say nervously.

I have no words at this moment. What will Nazuko do now that her position is being threatened?

“But, it’s always been this way,” she argues.

“Not tonight,” Lilith says.

I slowly inch my way over to Ryder to have a quiet conversation while those two start arguing.

“Ryder can’t I just stay in your room, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep with either of them in my room, for different reasons,” I plead.

“Sorry, but I’m too big to share a bed with someone and you should just take this in stride. Isn’t Lilith going to be your wife, in that case it’s time for you to become a man,” he tells me as a grin on his face starts to form.

Dang it I forgot to tell Ryder that my engagement to Lilith is fake. A minute later I see Nazuko get knocked out and tossed into a room by herself. The next thing I know Ryder tosses me into a room and Lilith walks in. I try to open the door, but it’s locked. What the hell! What kind of bedroom locks someone inside.

“Why would you go so far to make this happen? Perhaps you actually do want to sleep with me,” I say in a defeated manner.

“I-I-It’s not like that, it's just that if you keep sleeping with Nazuko people will get the wrong idea and I don’t know what to think about your relationship with her,” Lilith asserts.

“First of all people already have the wrong idea about me and Nazuko so I gave up on trying to correct them. Pretty much all of the servants, Quincy and most of the guards have seen us in bed so it’s too much effort to go correcting all their fantasies. If you still have doubts then I’ll answer any questions you may have,” I declare.

“Okay fine, first question, did you or did you not have sex with Nazuko?”

What the f*ck.

“I did not! Honestly, why is that the first thing that comes to people’s minds,”

“Second question: what lewd things have you done with her?”

“Absolutely nothing, unless you count her cuddling up next to me when I’m unconscious as lewd,”

“Well it sort of is; was she wearing clothes at the time?”

“Yes! Stop thinking of lewd things that have definitely not occurred,”

“Fine, I believe you, but why does Nazuko have to sleep with you?”

“Well, it's because she’s homeless and no one is willing to give her a room in the castle so I’d feel bad if I kicked her out. Do you have any better ideas?” I prodded.

“Well you could leave her in your room and you could sleep somewhere else,” Lilith suggests.

“And where would I sleep?” I ask.

“Maybe you could… sleep with me from now on,” she whispers.

Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Mythril help me. I need an adult.

You are an adult and I’m pretty sure she is an adult as well. So that makes what is about to conspire 945 seconds from now legal. Good Luck.

Dang it I need another adult. What would Vasavir do in this situation, no wait that’s the wrong person to think of at the moment. I wish I could use magic at the moment, but I’m still drained from my fight with the emperor and all those people I beat up in the market earlier. The only portal I’m capable of opening is a really tiny one that only a rat could fit through.

“What kind of lewd things are you planning on doing to me tonight?” I ask nervously.

“Eh!? I-I-I’m not planning on doing anything, don’t jump to conclusions like that!” Lilith yells.

She orders me to turn around while she changes out of her armor and I do as she says. I really do want to peek though as I open a tiny portal about the size of my eye and it’s right next to my face. I open a second portal at the top of the room out of her sightline and now I have a birds eye view of her changing. Vasavir originally taught me this technique as a way to peek on people in the shower, but I bet he’d be proud of how it’s being utilized now. She takes off her chest plate along with her under armor and now I can see her bare naked back. Jeez, she’s muscular for a girl. It kind of puts me to shame with how small my frame is at the moment. No wonder she has such an easy time kicking my ass. I can only see her back from this angle and I fear the repercussions of looking any further so I close the portal, get into bed and put the blanket over my head. I try to force myself to go to sleep, but it doesn’t work. A minute later I can hear her getting into bed. She smells really nice, it kind of reminds me of that stuff I smelled when I went to the red light district with Ryder. Why the heck does she smell like that? I know there’s no way in hell that Lilith would carry an aphrodisiac around with her, but out of paranoia I start to hold my breath until my face turns blue. I end up passing out due to the lack of oxygen heading to my head.

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