The old priest kept quiet for a while, just watching Mu So mend the window. Maybe it was that he hadn’t had anyone but Nilgu to talk for a long time but finally, he heaved a long sigh. "That boy had decided to become a priest when he was very young. Each day, he would come running over here, helping the priests, always talking about how he wanted to become one of them.
"We just laughed at that time, feeling that he would likely change his mind when he realized what it would entail to actually become a priest of the temple instead of just running over here when there was time. Back then, he and Vars already knew each other. Ah, Vars is that man who broke in."
Mu So nodded. He had already known so this didn’t come as any kind of surprise. Although … he hadn’t expected that the story between those two went this far back.
"Those two, they were inseparable. Vars didn’t have much interest in the temple whether it was this one or that one on the other side of the square. But he was happy to let Nilgu be and even followed him every now and then, helping out with some of the tasks he took over. I guess he just wanted him to be happy."
"Then how did he …" Mu So furrowed his brows. From the little that Vars had mentioned when he met Nilgu, he could imagine that there was a little more to this story.
"Well, that’s a story from several years later. In fact, it was the day Nilgu became a priest."
Mu So pressed his lips together. This sounded even worse.
"It is a ceremony that outsiders aren’t allowed at so Vars couldn’t be there with him. He had spoken with me the day before though and I guess he went out to get a little something to celebrate with him later. From what I know, while he was out, he was attacked. And when he was at that moment between life and death, it was one of the men of the temple of Bul who saved him. But in return, that man asked him to join the temple."
"And he just did? Couldn’t he have said no and asked to repay them in another way?"
The old priest looked at him and shook his head. Who knew where this traveler came from that he didn’t even understand this. "The temple of Bul doesn’t work that way. What their god wants, he will get. They don’t negotiate. At that time, Vars had two choices: Join their temple and live or give back the life that had just been saved."
"And he chose to live."
The old priest nodded. "He did. And I don’t blame him. Nilgu doesn’t either. Who wouldn’t want to live? Who wouldn’t want to cling to this world for even a moment longer? No matter how bad things stand, living is still something that we humans desire."
Mu So nodded but he couldn’t help but think back to that scene of Vars’s blade against Mu So’s throat. The priest surely hadn’t looked as if he was clinging to life. He had looked completely resolved to bid his time on earth farewell.
"Now, when Vars returned, the two of them had joined opposing sides. It naturally caused a dent in their relationship. Even though we would have accepted him to come over and see Nilgu, the temple of Bul would never allow it. And with time, the relationship between the temples worsened even further. They started killing our priests.
"From what I know, Vars never took part in this but now, there are only Nilgu and me here. They will expect him to take care of one of us and they would surely prefer if it was Nilgu to cut his last sentiments. It is how their temple operates. When the last attachments you have are gone, what keeps you from devoting yourself to Bul?
"And maybe enduring all that pain before makes them more willing to inflict it on others as well. Bul is not a benevolent god. He enjoys chaos and slaughter. Under his rule, there is only the rule of the strongest with Bul himself at the top.
"Naturally, we don’t want to see that but we are powerless. I couldn’t save the other priests and now, it seems I can’t even save Nilgu." He shook his head and once again sighed deeply. "I wish there was a way to have at least him survive. I don’t care about my own, old life. It’s been long enough. But Nilgu is young and promising. He shouldn’t have to end like this."
Mu So lowered his hands and turned around to the old priest. "Well, what if there is a way to get that outcome?" He didn’t have a plan yet but he was sure that there had to be an option.
The old priest raised his brows. "Oh, you want to help? That is too kind of you but you shouldn’t underestimate them. Jel doesn’t like fighting so our priests just pray and try to help better the lives of the people. Bul’s followers, on the other hand …" He sighed again. "Vars himself was a strong boy back then. I don’t even want to know how strong he has become by now. Most likely, even if you tried your hardest, you wouldn’t be able to leave him with a scratch."
Mu So smiled wryly. He was already sure about that. After all, even when he had only tried to hold him back, he hadn’t managed to do much. If not for the fact that Vars actually didn’t want to kill Nilgu …
Mu So narrowed his eyes, feeling that he had caught onto something there. He didn’t know for sure about Nilgu but Vars definitely still had feelings for him. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have walked away that day. So, as long as the person they had to deal with was Vars, they would be able to somehow get through this.
He turned back to the old priest, his gaze a little hopeful. "You’ve told me a lot but still not why Nilgu refuses to leave." This was the crux of the matter. As long as he could figure this out, they could come up with a plan. He was sure that Vars would help so the only problem was really this stubborn priest.
The old priest sighed once more. "Well, isn’t it obvious? He feels that we will have lost if he does. Not only we as the temple of Jel but also he as a person. Because it was this fight between the temples that separated them and if he left now, it would have all been for naught. Also, I think he wants to see Vars make his decision. He wants to see if — at the last moment — this man that he loves is able to kill him for real."
Mu So rubbed his chin. It seemed that this wasn’t hopeless then. He could see that decision. If Vars agreed, then they could find a way to have both of them survive. The problem was only that the temple of Bul for sure wasn’t just active in this city of Lald. No, even if they ran away together, they would still be hunted down as revenge. So if they wanted to do this, they needed to make sure that the temple of Bul didn’t suspect a thing.
Mu So lowered his hand, his expression grave. "Old priest, you said you’d give up this temple if it could save Nilgu’s life. Did you really mean that?"
The old priest immediately nodded, his gaze a bit hopeful. "Did you think of something we could do?"
Mu So nodded but his expression was a little embarrassed. "Yes, just … I’m afraid you’ll really have to bid this temple of yours goodbye. It’s the only failsafe way I can think of."
The old priest’s expression was a little pained. He looked over at the statue of Jel and finally sighed. "Well, I love this temple with all my heart but nothing is more important than a human life. Since this is the only way, then let us follow through with what you came up with. In any case, I myself could never think of a way. As long as Nilgu will be safe, I don’t think Jel would mind either."
He really didn’t want to lose the temple but at this point, he couldn’t help but feel that it wouldn’t make a difference. The temple of Bul wanted them dead. Tonight, Nilgu would likely be killed if they didn’t do anything. Tomorrow, it might be him. With that, the temple would be left empty and he didn’t trust the temple of Bul not to demolish it. Or maybe rather than that, they would desecrate it by turning it into one of their own temples. That was a much worse outcome. No, in this situation, it would be best to at least let Nilgu live. Even if the temple ceased to exist, at least a single priest could survive.
Seeing that the old priest was willing to prepare, Mu So nodded and then pondered on how to go about this. His plan was … a bit difficult to pull off. Not only did it need both Nilgu and Vars to cooperate, but they would also need some props. Considering that there were some time constraints, he’d better get to preparing those.
Taking a mental note of everything that was needed, he looked up at the old priest again that was waiting with a worried gaze. "I need a few things. Could you help me get them?"
"Sure! Just tell me what it is. The temple doesn’t have much but I’ll see what I can do."
"Well, first of all, I need a priest’s robe, a set of men’s clothes, a torch … or actually, make that a few of them, and …" He fell silent and gave the old priest a worried look. "Uh, some kind of wagon. Preferably with something that can be used to cover the top." If he could, he really would have liked to take a few days to prepared but Vars had said that he would return tonight so he could only take a risk.
The old priest continuously nodded his head. "I’ll go and arranged it immediately. The robes and clothes, what size should they be?"
Mu So’s expression turned blank. What size? Well … "I’m not quite sure yet. If you can, get a couple of them. Around the size that Nilgu and his fiance would wear, I guess."
"Oh." The old priest nodded, still not sure just what kind of plan this was supposed to be. He didn’t dare ask though. Since this traveler hadn’t explained, he probably wasn’t supposed to know yet. Who knew if that was already part of the plan?
After making sure that he had remembered everything, the old priest went off and Mu So turned to look to the door of the hall. There was one more thing that needed to be organized and it was something that he couldn’t let the old priest do. So he’d better get going himself.
He left the temple without even bothering to grab his things and then strolled through the streets, furtively glancing around. The thing he was looking for … usually, it should either be close to the temples or outside of the city walls. From what he had seen when he arrived yesterday, he would bet that his chances were better around the temples though. In that case, he needed to be careful. If those people from the temple of Bul noticed what he was doing, the plan wouldn’t work.
Finally, he spotted what seemed to be the answer to his search: A gate at the end of the path that was wedged between a wall taller than himself.
Mu So wanted to accelerate his steps but then forced himself to calm down. He couldn’t mess up now. In case somebody was close by, he had to stay calm and first make sure. After that, he could walk around a bit more to pretend he wasn’t actually interested in this place.
Thinking of that, he strolled to the end of the path and tilted his head to the side to peer through the gaps in the gate. Sure enough, a short flight of stairs was leading down and just a couple steps further in, there was a row of neatly arranged graves.
Mu So really wanted to do a celebratory dance but he just turned away with a blank expression, found another path leading in the other direction, and walked away. This close to the graveyard there weren’t too many people around so the sound of steps following him should be loud.
He held his breath and listened intently but he couldn’t hear anything. Maybe nobody was there and he was just thinking too much or maybe those guys from the temple of Bul were good at moving stealthily despite that effing armor. He didn’t know. He didn’t care to find out either. He already had his answer so after walking around some more to throw anyone off his trail, he went back to the temple of Jel.
At this time, the old priest had already returned from arranging everything. He was standing in the main hall, looking a little guilty.
Mu So raised his brows and then spotted Nilgu who was kneeling in front of the statue of his god. The traveler scratched his cheek and then went up to the old priest. "Did you tell him?" Most likely, Nilgu wouldn’t be happy then.
The old priest nodded, still ashamed. "I know we shouldn’t go over his head in such a case. I just … I just hope he can survive."
Before Mu So could say anything, Nilgu got up from where he had been kneeling and turned around. His expression was even colder than yesterday. "It doesn’t matter what you plan. It will not work out. Especially not if that plan of yours requires Vars to lend his help. He is already a member of the temple of Bul. Do you really think he would care to save me or this temple of ours?"
Mu So pursed his lips. His own relationships usually didn’t hold that long considering that he was always out traveling and whether it was men or women, most didn’t want that kind of life. They would expect him to settle down but that wasn’t a life he could take. Still, he had some experience and after everything he knew, he felt like Nilgu wasn’t putting enough trust in Vars. But it didn’t matter. In fact, this might come in handy.
He gave a faint smirk and then motioned to the things lying to the side. "If you’re wrong and he agrees, will you do so as well?"
Nilgu stared at him. "He won’t."
"But if he does, will you?"
Nilgu lowered his eyelids and then scoffed. "As I said: He won’t. But fine. If you want to bet, let’s do so. If you are right, I will follow whatever you’ve come up with. If I am right, then you will leave the temple and the city Lald tomorrow morning."
Mu So nodded. In any case, if he was wrong, he had to leave anyway or he would be the next person that temple of Bul would kill off. He really wasn’t willing to see that through. Helping Nilgu before had been because he couldn’t just look away while somebody was killed in front of his eyes. Staying behind after the priest was dead though? Please! He wasn’t an idiot.
"Well, it’s agreed upon then. Don’t go back on your word!"
"I would never." Nilgu raised his chin, his gaze scathing.
Mu So shook himself and turned to the old priest. "Thank you very much for helping me to prepare all this. For now, there isn’t much else we can do other than waiting. So … you can just go about your day as usual."
The old priest nodded. He looked at the statue of Jel with some worry and then turned to Nilgu. This child had practically grown up in the temple. Even though he also felt like he was failing Jel a little, he was sure that their god would be happy to see him survive elsewhere. In the end, the old priest just sighed and left. In any case, it would be his sin committed. May Jel take pity on the boy.
Nilgu watched his back until the door closed behind him and then turned to Mu So. "Well, what am I supposed to do if this works out?"
Mu So looked at him, not sure how to explain. Finally, he just picked up the set of priest robes and men’s clothes and stuffed them into his arms. "Take that to your room for now. Then just wait as well." As for the other thing he needed, he wouldn’t dare ask a priest for that. Either he’d have to do it alone or Vars would need to lend a hand.
Nilgu stared at the clothes in his arms but then nodded. "Very well." He didn’t ask further and just turned around and left.
Mu So remained alone in the hall. He sighed deeply and looked over to the statue of Jel. He wasn’t a believer. Well, maybe he did believe that there was something out there but he did not care or think much about that. Just living his life well was enough for him. What gods there were, what kind of trouble they had with each other, it did not concern him. Still, at this moment, he couldn’t help but step forward to implore Jel to help them.
"Nilgu is your priest and while Vars is officially a part of that Bul’s temple, it’s not like he wanted that role. So if you’re really a compassionate god, then shouldn’t you want for them to be reunited? Even if what I plan on doing might not be quite right, it’s still better than sacrificing several more lives, isn’t it?" He tilted his head up and then sighed again, finally turning away with a shake of his head.
No matter how many words he spoke, it wouldn’t change anything. His faith, Nilgu’s faith … what did they count for in this situation? Even if Jel existed and was willing to hear their prayers, would it really change something? After all, that god was not among them. How much could he really do?
At the same time, Nilgu had arrived back in his own room. He put down the clothes and looked at them, brushing over the priest’s robe with his fingertips, his gaze lost. If Vars was willing to help … he did not think that he should hope for that. If there really was a chance for that to happen, wouldn’t he have done that before already? So many years and still nothing had changed. Why should things be any different now? As long as the temple of Bul existed, they had to be apart.
Nilgu sat down at the edge of his bed with the priest’s robe in hand. Had it been worth it? He had always dreamed of becoming a priest but he had also long dreamed of marrying Vars. Had he known that one might not be possible with the other, what kind of decision would he have made?
He closed his eyes and his hands tightened around the fabric. Deep down, he knew that the matters from that day had not been a coincidence. The temple of Bul had gone after Vars because of him. It had all been a set-up to allow for their plan against the temple of Jel to work. The two of them had just been caught up in things. But after everything, he did not know how to feel. He never would have wanted Vars to die but he also wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive him for the things the temple of Bul had done. And still … still, he loved him.
He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax his grip. In any case, tonight things would be decided. Either Vars agreed or he would die. That outcome … it wasn’t that bad. Living and dying as a priest of Jel, he had no regrets. Whatever he did, he had done it with his whole heart. Where should he take any complaints from?
At the end of the day, they had all just done what they thought was best, and then fate had taken its toll. That was the way the world was. And they were powerless against that.
He put the robe to the side and closed his eyes again, silently praying. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was that he was praying for but it was the only thing he could do in the long hours until night.
Outside the temple, the sun sank toward the horizon and finally, dusk arrived, bringing with it a cold breeze and an eerie silence in the streets of Lald.
In the temple of Bul, Vars stared at the ring in his hand, his brows furrowed tightly. He had hoped, hoped for far too long that maybe, there was a chance for them to live. But each day had been stolen time and he knew that it was his fault for not ending it sooner. Now, there was no way back. He could only go forward and end it altogether.
He closed his hand and looked up to the small window below the ceiling that let a faint sheen of gray inside, the last sign of the day. "Let’s go then." He put the ring away and picked up his helmet, covering his face. Nobody saw his expression as he left the temple of Bul and went over the square between the temples, remaining in front of the gates on the other side for a couple of minutes.
When he finally reached out, the gate opened with a creak that he didn’t remember from the days of their childhood. The temple of Jel was really an arrow at the end of its flight, no matter which way you looked at it.
He gave the faintest of sighs and then pushed the gate open the rest of the way. Stepping inside and walking down the long corridor, he finally found himself face to face with the traveler from the night before. He quietly stared at him and then grabbed the hilt of the sword at his side. Maybe … maybe another day could be stolen. Even if it would not make a difference in the end, he still wanted to do so. Just to draw out the inevitable, just to give that person one more day, just to see them one more time.
Was he wrong? He did not care any longer. After joining the temple of Bul, that question was a luxury he could not afford any longer. He only dared to look at the benefits of his actions any longer. And right now, what was in front of him seemed very beneficial to him.
Mu So gulped when he saw Vars’ instant reaction. This wasn’t quite how he had planned things to go. He didn’t pull back though and just cleared his throat, hoping that his voice would carry. "Do you want to kill me?"
Vars smiled below the helmet but did not answer. He had come to take a life and he preferred if it wasn’t Nilgu’s.
"Have you never thought of finding another way?"
This time, Vars’ brows furrowed tightly. The ring that was resting beneath his armor seemed searing on his skin. He gripped his sword tighter, pulling it out of the sheath. "What a ridiculous question to ask." How many nights had he been lying awake, trying to think of something he could do? But over the years, he had seen how it played out when others tried to go against the temple. There was no way but, of course, an outsider would not know.
"Is it though? There is always some way. Why not give it a try?"
Instead of bothering to answer, Vars took a step toward him, the blade of the sword glinting even in the twilight.
Mu So gulped and this time, he couldn’t help but take a step back.
Behind him, a scoff sounded. "Did I not tell you that he would not listen? You’ve merely spent a day here and believe that you know him better than I do. What kind of conceit is that?"
Nilgu stepped out of the shadows and walked past Mu So with even steps, only stopping when he was an arm’s length away from Vars. "You came to kill me. Just ignore him."
Vars stared at him and then glanced at Mu So behind him. "The rules state to kill the person you first lay eyes on."
"I believe the rules also state not to let off your fiance and return the next night but you still did so. In any case, he will leave tomorrow morning but I will stay. If you still have some morals left, then stop involving others and let us end it here." He stared at the visor that covered Vars’ face, hating that even at this moment, he could not see his face.
Vars stared back, his eyes growing hot. He knew what Nilgu wanted but he was not sure he could give it to him. Yesterday, he had been happy to be interrupted but there was no way he could leave without having achieved the temple’s goal tonight again. The only difference would be that Nilgu would die an even worse death.
He took a shaky breath and then raised his sword again. A quick death was all that he could give him now. He held the blade to his neck and looked into his lover’s eyes.
Nilgu stared back and then reached up, grabbing that helmet and lifting it up. "At least let me see your face if it has to end like this. That is all I ask for."
Mu So stared from one person to the other with wide eyes. "You guys …" Why weren’t they even entertaining the idea of listening to him?
He watched in horror as the blade neared Nilgu’s neck further. Finally, he could not take it. He gave a frustrated yell and then leaped forward, throwing his whole weight onto Vars.
Together, they staggered a few steps. A drop of blood spilled onto the ground and Nilgu reached up, touching his chin. He looked over and met Vars’ gaze that looked at him in horror, clearly worried that he might have killed him already. Seeing him like this, Nilgu’s gaze couldn’t help but soften slightly. It seemed that even after all these years and everything they had gone through, the temple of Bul still had not managed to eradicate the feelings they held for each other.
