CHAPTER 4.

SOMETIMES LUCK IS SKILL

*

The minotaur started charging at me like a train, and the amount of noise it was making resembled the sound of train horns and wheels as well. Unexpectedly, I did not run. Not because I was petrified from fear, but rather I felt there was no need to. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I could hear me talking to myself - not in my usual husky male tone, but in a soft, sweet and determined female voice instead. Relax. Breathe slowly. Conserve your energy. Focus and wait for the right moment.

The creature was fast approaching. Ten meters, nine, eight, it started to twist its body to the right, arm raising the axe over its shoulder. Not yet. Just a bit closer. 

Five meters, four, three, I could see the minotaur’s individual blood veins on its bulging muscles, and smell its body odor – damp, like the smell of wet and moldy rags. Almost there…

Two, and one meter. I could feel its breath pushing down on me like gravity. I looked up at the creature as its shadow swallowed me whole. A drop of sweat rolled down my forehead. 

Like a spring compressed beyond its max, the minotaur swung its axe down. Time slowed. Everything suddenly started moving at a tenth of the world’s normal speed. Sounds vanished, as if someone had flipped a switch to turn it all off. The axe, meanwhile, was nearing its target, so close I could see my muddy reflection on its tarnished edge.

Now! I immediately jumped back half a meter, just in time for the axe to miss by a hair’s breadth. The weapon rocketed to the ground, causing a loud “BOOM!” accompanied by a screen of dust which covered the area. Had I been hit by that, I would’ve been squashed flat like a fly. Even the shockwave was enough to knock me back slightly. 

Meanwhile, the minotaur was looking at the place it had hit, momentarily frozen, seemingly surprised that it had missed. Not letting the chance go to waste, I immediately dashed forth, aiming the tip of my dagger at the monster’s neck. 

Suddenly, it switched its line of sight from the axe to me. Danger! I stomped my right foot on the ground to jump to the left, dodging its upward cleave. It didn’t stop there, but continued to twist and turn its body, lashing out blows after blows non stop. 

I couldn’t return any hit. The minotaur’s swings were slow enough to dodge, but too rapid to get a hit in between. And even if I could, I doubt my short dagger could penetrate deep enough to cause any major damage anywhere except its vitals, which kept getting out of the way because of the minotaur’s moving patterns.

Then I remembered the knives. Though they were even shorter than the daggers, I could just throw them instead. And if they were anywhere as sharp, they would still do some damage, or at least distract the creature for me to get a hit in.

So I jumped back further, out of the axe’s reach, and took out two knives from their sheaths. I held on to them while studying the rhythm of the minotaur’s berserk swings. 

The moment the axe was swung, the monster became defenseless for a fraction of a second. It was short, but easy enough to get the timing right. Just like a rhythm game, right as the minotaur’s axe went past its body, I threw the knives. Don’t underestimate my 800 hours in Beat Saber! 

When the minotaur realized the two foreign objects were flying towards its neck, it was too late. The monster immediately used its arm to block, but was too slow to catch either of them. Got him! I thought, as the knives went past its axe, its hand, and pierced through its neck before disappearing into the darkness.

 The minotaur promptly dropped its weapon and covered its neck with both hands, while screaming and squirming around. Seeing that, I smirked at it. Ha! Serve you right! That’s for trying to kill me while I was mulling over the death of my comrade! Hope it teaches you that depression kills! Well… not in that sense but… Anyways, right now you must be squirming in pain, suffocating in your own… blood?

…Wait a second, something is clearly not right here. The neck is where all the major blood vessels are, so if it is cut, blood must ooze out like a perforated water bottle right? I mean, sure I flunked every biology test in the universe, but this much should be common sense, right?

So why did nothing come out of its neck? My aim was perfect, and unless I'm cross-eyed, the knives should've hit where I intended them to… Wait, that might actually be the case, since I had spent the last four years practically glued to the PC monitor.

And it seemed the minotaur had also realized something was off as well, as it stopped screaming and started rubbing its hand on its neck to check. Then it looked at me. And shook its head while pointing its index finger at its neck. Yep, it was a beautiful neck to bodybuilding standards. Big, ripped, sweaty and with absolutely no wounds at all. 10 out of 10.

"Well I guess it's time to run then." I immediately Usain Bolted away as hard as I could. Right behind me, the minotaur also started to give chase. "GOD DAMN ITTTT!!! Why is this happening to me?!! Why is this body so useless?! Were you a street performer or what?! Are your weapons toys for kids???" 

It could've been a day like any other. I could've had done my morning routine, had a normal breakfast like a normal, healthy college student (instant ramen and 10kg of coffee), and go to work like a functional member of society (playing video games for 16 hours straight while ignoring all social interactions and destroy own body in the process - but hey, at least I get paid for that and you do not). 

Instead, I suddenly died, got scammed by a god into becoming their errand boy, dropped in a world with no bearings on what the hell was going on and now had to play Tom and Jerry with a monster. Hello? Is this the lawyer's agency? Would you mind answering a few legal related questions? Can god be sued for committing frauds and kidnapping? Can minotaurs be charged with indecent exposure and sexual harassment? Because I'm pretty sure that's what it looks like right now.

I was still running when I heard the minotaur growled, and a *thump* followed. "Whoa…Ahh!!!" I tripped and fell. I couldn't use my arms to shield my face in time, so it plays whack a mole with the ground. With face full of dirt, I looked at the place where I tripped. A mound that wasn't there before had caught my foot. The minotaur must've used some sort of earth magic to create it.

Meanwhile, the monster had caught up with me. It was standing right next to me now, breathing heavily while raising its axe again. But unlike before, there was no way for me to dodge away in this position. Even rolling out of the way was impossible, since it can just sweep the axe sideways and fillet my body like a freshly caught tuna. 

Am I really going to die here? If so, then this has got to be the worst playthrough ever in the history of playthroughs! And I even beat Ninja Gaiden first try with no death! What are my viewers going to say when they see this??? I can already imagine all the KEKLs and the LULs flooding chat. Oh! The horror, the shame, the humiliation!

As the minotaur swung its axe down, I closed my eyes and brace for the end of the line. ...This is it, then. The end of my zero death run. From now on I won't be able to put "Number of death since I started streaming: 0" [trademarked] [copyrighted] in my profile anymore, and will have to live among the normie plebs that are casual streamers… Noooooo!!! Why did it look like I started a randomizer run and got pitted against the last boss with nothing but a copper sword?!! Is there no fairness left in this world? Dammit! If only those two knives had hit the minotaur's neck, then there wouldn't have been a problem!

The moment I thought so, I heard a *BOOM!* followed by the rumbling of the ground and violent wind blowing at me. Thinking that was the sound of the axe hitting its target, meaning my body had been cut in two, my muscles stiffened in expectation of the impending pain, and ultimately, death.

...But neither of that did come. The only thing I felt was the cold ground, and the chill of a gust of passing wind. "...Did it miss?" I thought, but immediately dismissed that, as there was no way it could happen since the minotaur was right next to me, unless it was also cross-eyed. If so, then it would be an awful joke of fate.

Not able to stand the silence that was present, I opened my eyes, and was immediately taken aback. The minotaur, which was supposed to be my demise, was lying face down, its head inches away from my belly, eyes staring lifelessly at the ground - it was no longer breathing. The axe, which had slipped away from its grip, had fallen and dug into the earth behind it.

Startled, I jumped back away from the monster, and quickly discovered the cause of its death. The two knives that I had thrown, and thought had missed, were somehow half buried in the minotaur's neck, their handles poking out behind the place. And there was finally a river of blood oozing out from the wounds.

I stared at the inexplicable scene in absolute silence, not able to explain to myself what the hell had happened while my eyes were closed. But there was something I was certain: the minotaur was dead, and I was alive.

I threw my arms up to the sky victoriously. I don't care about what was going on, as long as I was the winner of the fight. And winning meaning that I was able to preserve the one most valuable thing I had. Yes, you guessed it. My zero death record baby, hell yeah. I would've been devastated had it been broken. But once again, I stood undefeated. Muhahaha!

...But hang on a second. Didn't I die once from exhaustion in my previous world? If so, then hadn't I already failed at the game called life?!

"..."

"NOOOOOOO!!! MY RECORD!!!" A girl's scream, filled with despair and dread, could be heard from every nook and cranny of the dark cavern.

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