" I appreciate the offer darling but don't you know it's quite rude to enter someone's room without knocking? "

Alister gently scolded the mysterious man in the grey suit and what he thought was a pair of the most charming teal loafers he had ever seen. It took some courage and a little bit of fashion sense to rock a teal pair of shoes in a grey suit of all things.

" Oh yes, oh yes, I do apologize. I do apologize. What shall I do? "

The man was quite taken aback. Although he did have to admit he had developed a bad habit of appearing in a room without knocking it had never been a problem.

" Oh yes, I know what I should do. Give me a moment please, "

Inspired by the quick solution that had popped into his head the man in the grey suit turned around and phased right through the three-foot thick solid steel door. Ignoring the seemingly hypnotized guards on either side of the door the man turned around paused for a moment and knocked. His soft knocks and gentle voice had seemingly no issue getting into the soundproofed cell.

Knock, Knock, Knock

" Hello there, I'm looking for a Mr. Alister to discuss his employment is he around ? "

" Oh yes, give me a moment to do my hair, "

Alister replied hopping off his little cot and twirling to adjust his hair in the non-existent mirror that in his imagination was hung on the wall.

" Alright, you can let yourself in Mr. Be careful though, the door's rather thick and made out of solid steel. "

" I assure you that had never been a problem for me, "

Smiling and walking through the door once more the man in the grey suit was face to face with the pale boy once more.

Seeing as there was no place for them to sit the man opened the briefcase that he held by his side and pulled out two cushioned chairs and a lovely antique table out, sitting in one of the seats and gesturing for Alister to do the same.

Alister was quite impressed, sitting himself down on the most comfortable chair he had ever sat on in his life and scolding himself for not expecting the man to do something so bizarre. The teal loafers were a dead giveaway.

Keeping their conversation moving the man pulled out a few stacks of paper and started speaking.

" Now just to make sure I'm talking to the right person I shall ask a few questions, is that quite alright, "

Nodding Alister promptly gave the man the green light. Would this count as a job interview?

" Alright then, "

The man began to read a few questions off of a yellow sheet of paper, only pausing to note down Alister's responses,

" Just to make certain I am talking to the right person, you are Alister Bellintine a 17 year old male correct? "

" Sounds about right."

" Would you consider yourself mentally stable? "

" A bit smarter than others but yes, I've never done anything without a reason. "

" Hmmm some would disagree but I quite like your answer. "

The man copied Alister's answer to that specific question onto a different greener sheet of paper before continuing on with his questioning.

" Okay great. Do you have a criminal history? "

" We are in a jail you know? "

" Perfect just what we're looking for, just one more question to seal the deal. Mr. Alister Bellintine do you have any experience with death or the causing of it? "

The man smiled up at Alister as he asked this question.

" Well I did toss a man into an incinerator last week, along with a few hundred other incidents over the years ? Is that good enough ? "

" Absolutely perfect! "

" So will I be hired ?? "

A tiny bit of excitement crept into Alister's eyes. He had no clue what job this strange man was hiring for, but he felt it had a pretty good chance of getting him out of the BHCC prison and into the world.

Smiling the grey-suited man pulled out a strange oblong device with many strange tubes coming off of it and a display screen.

" Don't worry after those spectacularly wonderful answers and the results of a past investigation into your life your definitely hired, I just need to run a test or two before going over the contract. "

" Great, "

Alister celebrated a little before pointing at the strange device that the man was adjusting.

"But what's that. "

" Oh this is the San-O-Meter, its customary to measure a few things before discussing the contract, and you're not in the system yet so we're gonna have to use this old thing to get  you measured up."

After a few moments, the machine started to make whirring noises and let out some green smoke.

THWACK

After the man gave it a good smack it stopped letting out the green smoke although it continued to make some concerning noises now and then.

" Can I smack it too ?? "

" Be my guest "

THWACK

" OOOO that was satisfying, "

" From experience, I can tell that was, "

The man reached back down into his briefcase and pulled out some more papers. Placing the ones he had already filled out into a manilla envelope with Alister's name on it.

" Now give me your arm for a minute. "

Alister complied allowing the man in the grey suit to start strapping on the strange tubes that fed into the oddly shaped machine.

After what felt like forever the man finally gave a satisfied hmph as he too a look at his handiwork. Alister's ghastly white forearm was completely wrapped in the strange tubes. Some were transparent and held a blueish liquid, some were metallic, and there was even a bit of copper wire. It was quite bizarre and ended up looking like something out of a modern art museum.

Flipping the switch the man watched the values on the display of the machine fluctuate for a bit before turning to Alister.

" Congratulations boy I have some great news  "

" What? "

" I am pleased to announce that you are completely and utterly insane, just what we're looking for ! Your sanity level is about -121. Quite Low for someone, we haven't even hired yet"

" You haven't figured that out already? "