“So?” I insisted, going back to our previous subject that he had so adeptly averted. “You owe me an answer.” He looked away once more, but nodded, as if he’d reached a decision.

“Agreed, then. We’ll talk like this from now on.”

“Like this?”

“Honestly, without escapes.” I nodded, agreeing, half afraid of what it would mean when my turn came. “Your notion of me is completely wrong.”

“How so?”

“You see me as someone in absolute control of this situation. Someone above you. Someone that, somehow, commands the direction in which things and events around you progress, right?” I didn’t answer. A few days ago I’d agree in a heartbeat. But now, as his inexpressive face showed more expressions every day, I wasn’t all that sure anymore. “As it seems, things aren’t at all that simple. I also thought they would be, but in truth everything’s much more complicated than that.” I waited for an explanation until I understood that, if I didn’t ask for one, he’d leave it at that.

“I don’t understand,” I confessed and he nodded again, as if he needed to give himself permission to talk about it.

“Your doubts, your uncertainties, your frustrations, all that, I feel them as well. In all my years of existence I’d never sealed a Contract with a Human Being, and the idea I had about what that implied is completely different from what it really means. I don’t know if it’s because you’re different, or if it’s because I’m ... inexperienced in all this. The truth is that nothing goes as planned! There are too many things I don’t understand and, annoyingly enough, not only about you, but about myself as well. Although it’s true I’d never sealed a Contract with a Human, it’s not like I’ve never established contact with your kind. But your existence just won’t fit in anything I knew from before. When I think you’re about to break, you show up the next day with a smile on your face. When I think you’re about to despair, you scream and get angry at me. When I think I’ve defeated you, you go around and make the craziest demands. It’s been like this from the beginning. And I never know what to expect, what to do or say, or how to do it. Before I could realize it, I was already paying too much attention to everything you do, trying to understand what’s going through your mind, or trying to foresee what would happen next. I’m used to being able to hear the thoughts of those around me in such situations as this, but, like many of my other powers, it seems that gift has remained Sealed in your Magic Circle, which only goes to make everything much more frustrating!”

I recalled that, just a while ago, Alexander had also said something like that, regarding his powers, and decided to not let it go.

“Magic Circle? The one I created for that spell?”

He nodded and stared at the floor as if he could see it.

“Because you didn’t finish the ritual, nor did you undo the Circle. So it remains active, Sealing inside it some of my powers,” he explained and my brain was once again rushing at the speed of light to fit these new pieces.

“Is that why you can’t leave this house?” I asked and he shrugged.

“It’s not that I can’t. It’s just inconvenient.”

“Your healing ability?” He nodded a confirmation and I immediately understood Alexander’s anger. “Reading thoughts as well?” He nodded again and I shuddered. He already held so much power. To think that it still wasn’t his whole power was frightening. “What else?”

“Controlling the thoughts, actions and emotions of others, and some other minor gifts,” he answered and I recalled he’d already hinted at that, when we’d first sealed our Contract. At the time, he’d told me he wasn’t able to control Michael’s emotions. I would never have guessed that he really had that ability.

“So that means that part of ... your being is still Sealed?”

“I guess you can put it like that.”

I thought about it for a moment and the image of him, dead-like lying on that couch, covered in blood, made me feel sick.

“How do I release it?” I immediately asked, urgency suddenly hammering against my chest, and his eyes widened as he stared at me incredulously.

“You want to release the rest of my power?” he asked and his laughter filled the room. He took a a hand tohis forehead as if I’d just said something completely insane. “How is this even possible?”

“Why? What?” I frowned. His ironic tone had the ability to really irk me.

“Who, in his right mind or with a minimal amount of common sense, would want to make his enemy even stronger than he already is?” he retorted, his violet eyes glowing with a silent threat as if that could reinforce his words.

“Because you’re at war! And I don’t want you to get hurt like that again! They’ll end up killing you!” I blurted it out in my defense and he ran his hand across his hair in such a seductive movement that I had to look away. He could be worse than a serpent and I often felt like a defenseless small bird caught in his allure.

“I guess it didn’t occur to you that that’s exactly what you should be wishing for. If that really were to happen, you’d be free from this Contract and, of course, free from my unworldly presence as well.”

“And I guess it didn’t occur to you that I do not wish to get rid of you!” I replied in the same exact tone , and we were silent again ... until he sighed.

“And that’s precisely what I was talking about,” he grumbled, but there was a soft smile on his face. “Your existence, in its unpredictability, is extremely attractive, to the point of making me want to stay just to enjoy your presence. Near you, my long, boring existence is much more interesting.”

I smiled with an almost childish happiness and took a deep breath.

“There’s no problem then.”

“Oh, but there is,” he countered immediately, and his expression became serious again, almost dark. “There’s no point in me staying if my presence will end up destroying you.”

“That won’t happen,” I declared with conviction and he smiled condescendingly.

“Yes it will. Because I cannot change. My being is ever expansive and it devours all that surrounds me. Destroying is part of my nature, even if I don’t want to. It’s like asking a leopard to restrain from hunting its prey with it standing right there beside him. I’ll end up smothering you, like before, driving you insane. Or do you think that things will be any different if I stay? l won’t resist the temptation of trying to manipulate you, trying to break your will, transform you into an obedient, predictable doll, just to show you I’m stronger than your unpredictable nature. And, when that happens, you won’t be Mariane anymore. And I’d just destroyed something that I really cared about, that somehow made me feel good. I don’t want to have to feel the pain of having broken something irreplaceable.”

I was at a loss for words, my heart hammering painfully against my chest. I made my mind pass over all the possible and implicit meanings of what he’d just said, and faced him with the same self-confidence he always showed.

“And so you would rather leave because if you do, I’ll remain the Mariane you know,” I concluded and his silence was confirmation enough. “Only because you’re not here to see it! The Mariane you know only exists because you’re here!”

“And so you’re telling me to stay when I already decided that I’d leave for your own good.”

“I already told you! I’m not that frail!” I insisted, deciding not to let him out that easily. “And tell me how to release the rest of your power! Enemy or not, there’s not really much I can do against you, there never was. So more or less power doesn’t really make any difference to me, but it’s obvious that it’s important to you.”

Gabriel watched me for a moment. “True that the ability to heal kind of makes a difference and I wouldn’t mind having it back. But I do not wish to recover my other gifts. So, since I can’t just free one of them, I’d rather leave them all where they are.”

“Why? They belong to you, right? They are a part of you, right?”

“Sure. But in the situation I’m in right now, I wouldn’t be able to resist and would eventually use them. I’d end up reading your mind, and controlling the will of people like Stephanie or Michael ... and you wouldn’t like it. I wouldn’t like it either, probably. In truth, these are powers I rarely use and that normally produce more negative results than otherwise. Listening to what others think can be truly ... devastating, a thousand times worse than a small scratch like this,” he added, referring to the white scar across his chest and I could almost swear I could see a shadow lingering in his eyes. I wondered what he’d heard in the minds he had invaded.

I had no way to counter that, although I really wished I could return his healing powers to him. He smiled, noticing my inner struggle, and I ended up sighing in defeat.

“Fine. But, in return, you have to fulfill my wish,” I quickly negotiated and the sound of a small bell echoed from the stairs. Lea had finally returned and his expectant face turned towards the door. That really frustrated me! Once more he wasn’t going to give me a straight answer. “Nyx!” I called him and his gaze was immediately on me, blinking almost as if he felt dizzy at the sound of his name. “It’s what I wish ... and my request.”

Lea shot through the door, happily jumping towards him and hugged his legs. And yet he didn’t look away, his eyes still locked on mine.

“What? What is it? What happened?” Lea asked, looking from him to me and back again, and Gabriel finally placed a gentle hand over his head.

“What would you say if we were to stay here for a few more days?” he asked and Lea’s face seemed to come alive, his silver eyes even brighter.

“Really!” he asked and turned to me with a huge smile. “Really, really?” I smiled at his clear happiness and nodded. He jumped again and ran to me, and I leaned forward wanting to pick him up, but immediately gave up the second I put my arms around him. Pain shot through my ribs and I tried as hard as possible to keep it at that and not let it show on my face. I’d completely forgotten about it and scolded myself for that. I placed a kiss on his soft hair, and slowly sat on the bed, pulling his small body to my lap. Lea’s fleeting serious expression told me he’d noticed something, but as I smiled his excitement won over him again. “Yay! This is great!” He went on hugging my neck almost too tight, and I returned his hug as if he really was the child he appeared to be. I’d missed him so much!

Now that Gabriel had given in to my request, I could stop lying to myself and, with a sigh of relief, honestly accept how hard it would have been to bear their absence again.

When I looked up to thank him I was irremediably lost in his smile. His expression was, as always, impressively beautiful, but also gentle and soft, even though there was a shadow of sadness in his eyes.

I had the feeling I’d finally been able to understand his point of view. And yet I couldn’t stop thinking I was doing exactly what Steph had accused me of. I felt guilty for using him so that I could feel a bit more like everyone else. And so I decided right there and then that I’d never allow him to break me, that I’d be strong and that I wouldn’t be the cause of that pain he seemed to fear so much. That was the least I could do, the only way to repay him for his allowance. I’d show him just how determined I could be, just how much I was able to bear! I’d resist him with all my strength and I wasn’t going to let him destroy the Mariane whose presence he apparently seemed to appreciate so much.

“What took you so long?” he finally asked and Lea perked up his head to look at him.

“Nothing much. I just walked around for a bit, trying to feel any presences, but nothing.”

Gabriel nodded and I quickly tried to catch up. I didn’t want to be left out.

“Presence? From the Deiwos that escaped?” I asked and they both looked at me at the same time, which was rather intimidating.

“Yes,” Gabriel confirmed with a resigned expression. “Since when we returned I was in no condition to open a passage through the barrier, Lea had to break it down for an instant. Unfortunately, that was enough, and we were followed. This is also why I decided we should leave again, as soon as possible. If we stay you’ll never be safe,” he added and my eyes dropped to the ribbon around my wrist.

Lea stirred in my lap, as if my silence was making him restless, and I smiled, running a hand through is ever-unruly hair.

“But, with you around, there’s no way I won’t be safe, right?” I asked and Lea nodded immediately, hugging me again, obviously relieved with my answer.

“Mariane!” Gabriel’s critical tone only made me even surer of my decision.

Suddenly, from the moment I’d been able to choose a determined line of action everything had become easier. Now, all I had to do was keep myself loyal to my own choice and follow it wherever it might lead me.

“No Deiwos alive can change my decision!” I told him firmly. “And I’m not about to allow you to use this as an excuse to go back on your word!”

My tone seemed to displease him and a new crease marked his forehead as he looked towards the door.

“Fine! The decision was yours! Just be sure to keep up with the consequences!”

“Fine! You don’t need to worry! That’s exactly what I’ll do!” I replied, just as dryly, He sighed.

“Get some rest, now,” he told me, again in that soft voice, and I smiled noticing he’d ended the subject and that I’d won. I could almost laugh in pure glee. That was a first, I noted proudly. And it felt really good! His upset expression, slightly embarrassed, was just perfect.

However, my more practical, much more Human side talked louder and immediately filled my head with numerous tasks that needed to be performed before I could obey his command.

“I have to make us something to eat. Jonathan will be waking up soon. And I have to call the school. I’m ditching classes since morning, and since they know my mom is away, if I don’t give them a plausible justification, they’ll probably end up showing up at my doorstep just to know what’s going on.”

“I already called the school,” he informed me in his usual velvet murmur.

“You did?”

“Early in the morning, while you were still sleeping. I told them I was a neighbor and family friend. And that you had a cold and I was taking care of you at your mother’s request. As for the rest ...” He didn’t look at me even once, and folded his arms, back to that defensive posture of his. I’d never noticed before how he often struggled with some words and concepts. I smiled, slightly amused, while he searched for the right words. “I’ll take care of it,” he finally added and I had to try hard to contain my laughter.

“You?”

“Why? It almost sounds as if I’ve never done it before!”

And it wasn’t as if I could argue with that, I told myself, remembering the baked fish he’d made to impress my mom.

“No ... I mean, I know you’re quite capable. In fact, what can’t you do?” I teased and he walked to the door in three surprising fast steps. To me, it almost looked like he’d run, although it clearly wasn’t the case.

“So, just do as I say!” he firmly restated in that tone that was practically impossible to disobey. “Lea?”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Lea replied and only then did I notice his mischievous, amused smile.

 

* If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/

A/N: So here it is, another chapter. Next I’m updating the official site with Gaea 2 - Light of the Shadow

Like always, if you’re reading this, leave your comments, suggestions and so on. You know? It’s almost like I’m a crazy person talking to myself >_>

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