"Nonononono," I muttered to myself as I paced in front of the mirror. "Not yet, you don't." I stopped and stared at the mirror again. One delicate golden thread poked out of my right shoulder, Curly and glinting in the light. My hand shook as I grabbed it and a small patch of smooth pale skin appeared when I accidentally pulled it. 

"Nope!" I rustled in the drawers until I found some scissors and I snipped that motherfucker in the bud. 

"You good in there?" I heard Laura's voice muffled through the bathroom door. 

"Yeah!" My voice shook. And I cursed myself. I rustled around further until I found the bandaids and I slapped one over the patch on my shoulder. Not today. Nuh uh. 

I adjusted my bra and dragged on one of my new T-shirts. It covered the patch easily. Nobody had to know, right? 

My hands were still shaking. Fuck. 

I took several deep breaths and smoothed my hair. I stared at the mirror for a long time. It occured to me I didn't use to be so vain. I used to avoid mirrors and cameras like, uh… well, like the plague should be avoided.

"There she is." Laura smiled as I emerged. And I smiled too despite myself. 

"Yeah," I laughed nervously, "here I am." 

"I must admit I'm surprised you haven't unraveled. It's been what, four weeks all together? About a week since you reached this size? I thought you woulda grown or shown by now." 

I shrugged; I could feel my tail flicking wildly.

"You good?" 

"Yeah! Yeah. Just, uh. Eager to get going."

Laura nodded, though I could tell she wasn't one hundred percent convinced. I clasped the glamulet around my neck and followed her out to the truck, climbing in and buckling up while she opened the garage door and walked around. 

I tried to still my mind. This was about having fun. I stopped myself. No. This was about healing and growth? I was just using it to have fun in the meantime. This was all so confusing. Certainly too much to process, but for all I knew that was a side effect of being a KT? That thought brought an odd sense of comfort. Of course it was all just because of the KT. I turned the thought over and over in my mind until Laura shook me from my thoughts. We were already on the road and I had scarcely noticed. 

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"I… I'm just wondering… What I'll look like when I unravel?"

Laura smiled knowingly and reached over to ruffle my hair. 

"I guarantee you'll love it." 

I felt a pang of sadness. I wasn't so sure.

Laura apparently noticed my subdued mood and I felt like kicking myself for being an open book. She took my hand and squeezed it. Holding it for a long moment before returning both hands to the wheel.

"Never mind that, though. What are ya hungry for?"

"I'm not really hungry, actually." 

"That's weird. You've always been hungry. Maybe you're close to unraveling after all."

"Salad," I mumbled. "I could go for a salad."

I could tell Laura was staring at me while we waited for the light and I tried to will her to think nothing was wrong. 

I busied myself picking at the wrinkles in my jeans while she drove us to the local Jenny's and I smiled to myself as she ordered my usual for me.

As we got our food, I begrudgingly dug in. Forcing down the few bites I could manage and trying to mix around the remaining greens to look smaller than they had to start. 

"Maybe we should see Daphne real quick. We never did drop in and tell her about the ears or tail."

I felt trapped. Laura ran a hand through my hair again. She'd been rather affectionate lately, hadn't she? But that was beside the point. 

"I guess," I mumbled, and tried to suppress the sick feeling in my stomach. 

The drive to the bookstore passed in a flash. I prayed to whatever god that would listen for Tim to turn us away, but he saw no reason not to lead us back. 

In moments we were outside her office. I fiddled with the amulet around my neck and contemplated what I could say or do to buy just a bit more time. 

"Come in," Daphne called through the door and Laura took my hand to drag me in. 

"Ah, Laura was it? I see your friend has unraveled. Let me grab your file." I was content to wait while she rustled in her desk, but Laura had other ideas. 

She squeezed my hand meaningfully before clearing her throat and gesturing at the amulet. 

I sighed. "Actually..." I took off the amulet. "I haven't quite unraveled yet." 

Daphne looked up and her eyes widened, flicking from my ears to my tail. 

"Fascinating," she mumbled. Immediately she renewed her search and began pulling out various boxes and books from other drawers of her desk. "Let me get a better look at you." She beckoned me forward without even looking up from her drawer. 

Laura ushered me toward her and I walked around the corner of Daphne's desk obediently. A sense of dread that had been building all day was reaching a breaking point. 

She was gentle at least, carefully lifting one ear and then the other and inspecting my body all over with a peculiar set of colored glasses. When she got to my right shoulder, she stopped and looked me directly in the eye, seeming to see right through me at the same time with her peculiar gaze. 

"Would you do me a favor and roll up your right sleeve?"

She phrased it as a question, but I knew it wasn't. My hand shook as I complied, revealing the poorly adhered bandaid. She didn't bother asking this time as she pulled the bandaid off to reveal the patch of skin and the still glowing golden thread. 

"Why haven't you unraveled, knot?" Her voice was equal parts incredulous and stern. 

I hugged my arms to my chest as I fought for the words to explain. If I could just explain, she would understand and let me stay.

"Please don't make me." My plea came out as a whimper, half choked by the despair gripping my throat.

"You must," she insisted and reached for the thread, but I retreated, backing up to the wall.

"Jake…"

I looked at Laura. She looked heartbroken and disappointed. Disappointed in me. It was almost more than I could bear. 

"Jake," she repeated, more firmly now. "It's time. Be brave."

"I can't." Tears streamed down my face for the first time I could remember. 

"Just trust me." Somehow Laura was in front of me, holding my face up to look her in the eye. 

I did trust her. Fresh tears poured down my face as she released me and I shakily grasped the thread. It seemed to buzz with electricity in my hand, making my fingers go numb, but I grasped it tighter and screwed my eyes shut. I felt her hand over mine and I relaxed a bit. Maybe she had changed her mind. Maybe I wouldn't have to unravel ever.

I was still holding the thread as she gently pulled my hand away and I cried out in surprise as the chain reaction started. 

Sparks flew from my shoulder as the thread seemed to spew forth and fade into glittering light before my eyes. The patch of skin grew, traveling up my neck and down my arm simultaneously as the unraveling picked up speed. A wave of light crashed down my body, glowing harmlessly through my clothes as it traveled down to my toes and then stopped altogether. I felt Laura's hands on my arms, her skin on mine for the first time. 

My tears continued to flow and I wiped at them ineffectively. I probably looked hideous. A blubbering mess at best, and I didn't want to think about the worst. 

Laura pulled me into a hug, half smothering me into her chest as I cried bitter tears. I hadn't even grown taller, apparently, leaving me short amidst the rest of my reasons to be miserable. 

After a long time, Laura finally released me and held me upright as I swayed unsteadily. I took my first look down and paused in confusion. 

I pulled my glamulet out of my pocket and stared at it dumbly before reaching around to hold my tail with my other hand. 

"I'm still…"

"Yes," Laura half gasped and half laughed. 

I looked up and she was crying too. 

"Yes," she repeated. "You're a girl." 

Daphne cleared her throat across the room and I nearly jumped out of my skin, realizing we had an audience. I wiped at my face as Laura pulled me under her arm and faced the master of great transformations. 

"Well, then." Daphne seemed distinctly uncomfortable with the energy we had created in the room. "Shall we get to work?" 

I nodded, grateful for the distraction, and fell into a seat in front of her desk. Nothing seemed real right now. 

"First off, I assume you will want to change your name for your new identification?"

My eyes widened. She was right of course. Jacob was a rather conspicuous name for a girl. I blinked rapidly. Was I a girl? For real? That didn't seem right.

"Can we come back to that?" I couldn't think straight. It was all too much. 

Daphne sighed heavily and mumbled something about "preparedness." 

"I can't choose. You choose something," I whispered at Laura and she balked at me. 

"It’s your fucking name I'm not going to choose for you."

"Please?"

"No!" Her whisper turned shrill. 

"Pleaaaase?" I poured every ounce of pathetic need I could muster into the one word. 

"What if you hate it?" 

"Then I'll tell you so. I'm an adult."

"Choose like an adult!"

"No!"

We glowered at each other, both thoroughly determined to not give ground. At last she sighed in resignation and stared at the ceiling. 

"Alice?" 

"No."

She gave me a sidelong glance but sighed and tried again. "Autumn?" 

"Mmmmm, better."

"Juniper?" 

Daphne spoke up. "We already have a catgirl named Juniper. Please no, for the love of God."

I frowned. Juniper was a good name. 

"Willow?"

"Perfect." It was perfect. I could tell just by the sound of it. 

"Really?" Laura seemed surprised for some reason. "Uh. Okay. Um. Nice to meet you, Willow?"

"Nice to meet you, too." I stuck my tongue out. "Willow Harrington," I mused. "Not bad. Not bad at all."

I turned back to Daphne to see her already busy on a form, shaking her head as she wrote. 

“Your state still requires a gender marker. What do you want it to say?” She seemed to be bracing herself for something. 

I looked to Laura uncertainly and she rolled her eyes. She mouthed "female" to me and nodded to Daphne. 

I had to admit, from a pragmatic standpoint it would be less confusing for everyone if I just decided I was a girl. Apparently that was allowed too…

"F-female" I stuttered and Laura did tiny claps next to me. I shushed her and turned away to hide my blush. 

I felt a peculiar finality about the decision. That was it. The state knew me to be a girl. Legally. 

Daphne shuffled and stacked the forms on her desk, organizing them and stapling them before dumping them on her document organizer. 

"You're free to go. Obviously, don't drive without a license and we will contact you soon to establish photo ID appointments."

I stood and seemed to walk to the door on autopilot. I mumbled a quick "Thank you," and then we were out the door. Laura led me by the hand back through the hallways to the bookstore and out to her truck.