"How was it?" Chen's eager gaze locks on to me. He's almost like a puppy asking for praise, I feel my heart warm.

"Great, really great. Those kids were eating it up."

"Thanks!" His face blossoms into a smile. "I really love kids, they're so adorable."

"Want any of your own?" I ask, glancing at him through the corner of my eyes.

"Huh? Well, I don't know. I mean, not biologically since I'm, you know, gay. But maybe I'll adopt one. Who knows what could happen!" He shrugs. "Anyway, did you think that what I said about math and science was okay? Like, I was just trying to say that not everything is for everyone. I didn't mean that like STEM is bad or anything. Oh I hope I didn't dissuade anyone from going into STEM or anything!" His feet tap the floor agitatedly.

"You were fine. They're kids. Don't overthink it."

"And do you think the ugly duckling comparison was okay? There were some middle schoolers there along with the elementary school kids so I wasn't sure about that one. It wasn't too childish?"

"It's was fine." A sudden thought hits me. "So you compared yourself to the ugly duckling?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." 

"So that means you're now a swan? Are you praising yourself?" I grin.

"What? No! I didn't mean it like-I mean, I just meant that I couldn't fit the mold my parents had for me I didn't mean-"

"Okay swan Chen."

"Stop! I was just using it as a comparison. Anyway, are you sure it was okay???"

"It was fine."

"You're just being perfunctory!" He pinches my arm.

"Well what do you want me to say?" I ask as I make a turn. "I already said it was great."

"Fine." He pouts, crosses his arms, and leans back in his seat. He's silent for a few minutes. Then "are you sure it was-" I burst into laughter.  

We reach home and Chen heads straight for his room, I assume to work on his story. I walk into my room, there's a couple assignments I still have to finish. I pull out the chair and sit in front of the desk. It's empty except for my laptop and looks neat but the minute I switch on the laptop my 50 or so tabs jump out at me. I get started on them, responding to emails, crunching numbers, recording data, writing, filling out applications. 

Now it's just me alone in this room with the tablet containing a seemingly unending set of assignments to finish off. Now the thoughts that I'd deliberately suppressed earlier start creeping into my mind. 

Why am I doing this? Why am I in business and computer science? Chen has this amazing life story, a reason behind everything while I seem to have just fallen into it. I'm good at it, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten hired by a top firm so fast but...when did I first think of pursuing this? 

A mental image pops into my head of my parents surrounding me at 13. 

"Ramakrishnan, if you choose a profession it should be in math or science okay?"

"Ramakrishnan all the jobs are going to those with computer skills."

"Ramakrishnan, the highest paying jobs are all in Stem."

"Ramakrishnan-

Bzzz. Bzzzz. My phone buzzes from within my pocket and I fish it out. Speak of the devil, I sigh and answer it.

"...Hello Appa?"

"Ah, Ramakrishnan. How are your studi-"

"I know Amma asked you to call again. What is it?"

"Well..."

"Appa what is it?"

"Your Amma has arranged for you to meet a friend's daughter." Silence. Seriously? Now she's not even going to ask, she's going to just set it up?

"Appa-"

"Ram, your Amma is really worried about your Patti. Please try to understand. She just wants you to try this out to give Patti some peace of mind-"

"Fine." I massage my brows.

"and you-what?"

"I said fine." 

"You, really?" Then, fearing I may change my mind, he quickly adds. "It's this Sunday. You're usually free on Sundays right? I'll send you the details." Click. He quickly hangs up before I'm able to say anything further. I place the phone down, then heavily lean my forehead against the wall.