"Well I am Asian so it's rice for me."

"Really? Nice. White rice is really good but I like never have it."

"What about you? What are you eating?"

"Oh it's pasta for me. I have some leftovers from the afternoon. It's just the easiest to like, boil, you know? But then my sister comes over and is like, 'I'm hungry', and I'm like, make something yourself and..."

I just watch her mouth move, her perfect teeth flashing each time her lips curl into that soft smile. She's so colorful and alive, her ombre curls giving a little bounce each time she stresses something. Her attention flits from subject to subject like a bird and it makes you want to catch it, to have her fix those chocolate colored orbs on you and point her gaze completely at you...

"Uh, yes?"

"Pon, did you even hear what I said?" She sounds annoyed however her soft smile and the wave of laughter immediately following betrays her. In that moment, as I watch her perfect teeth and the curve of her eyes as they crinkle in delight on the inconveniently small handheld screen, I find something bubbling up from within me like a volcano about to erupt.

"Ilikeyou."

"What?" She asks, a tear of laughter hanging from her eyelash. I bow my head, close my eyes and inhale sharply.

"I like you." She pauses for a second, then her lips relax back into that smile.

"Hahaha, you're joking right?"

"No, I-I love your smile, your perfect teeth. Um, through all the classes we've had together I've discovered what a fun person you are, we bond over food, and...and-" Her chocolate orbs widen and her gaze shakes for a moment. She opens her cherry colored lips and displays her teeth in all their perfection -

"Ew, the heck."

Frozen. Everything is frozen. As I wished her eyes are now completely focused on me however, rather than soft and sweet chocolate, they're filled with mud. Mud that's being hurled at me: you're disgusting, you're gross, you're-

BAM. My finger lands forcefully on the screen and the call ends. I feel my heart palpitating as I fall back against the beige sofa behind me and for once I disregard the hamster hairs coating the cushion as I sink down like a deflated balloon.

Ping! Ping!

My gaze wanders towards my phone and I weakly reach out to grab it. Who could possibly be textin-

Disgusting.

That's so gross!

Why would I go out with you, you ugly Asian Coo-

BAM. I slam the screen facedown, it'll probably end up having another jagged crack stretching across its face.

I slowly deflate back onto the couch and put my head in my hands.

Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Pin-

Each ping is like a nail drilled into my skull, into my heart. You're not good enough. You're not good enough. You're not good enough. YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. YOU'RE NOT-

Bump. Something gently bumps my ankle. It's Jelly, one of my four hamsters. I mechanically reach down to pick him up and he leans against me with his fluffiness.

I feel something lightly scratching my thigh and glance over to see my other hamster, Honey rubbing against me with his lovely orange coat. Soon each thigh is occupied and the two little rulers find a comfortable position to settle down in their respective domains.

A moment later I feel a weight on my head. My scalp is lightly scratched by tiny paws attempting to find a purchase in my dense mass of dark hair. Without even looking I know that it's Risu. He's a climber and somehow he always manages to get to the top of the couch although my head is his favorite location.

Suddenly I hear a hiss close to my right thigh. I peer down to see Honey clawing at Walter as they battle to occupy the privileged spot. Walter's fur is a warm chocolate brown, just like her eyes...

HISS!

I blink to find Honey almost on top of Walter and I quickly hurry to separate them, placing Walter on my chest instead, while trying to keep from agitating Jelly or Risu. Thankfully they all seem content with their positions.

"They say animals are supposed to feel your emotions...did you guys feel mine and decide to come over?"

Silence, of course.

"Look at me. It's a Friday afternoon and I'm talking to a bunch of hamsters. Ha. Ha." Because I'd normally be talking to her but of course she's...I once again feel the needles stabbing deep, deep, deeper-

My face is wet. I dazedly wonder, it's inside, it can't be raining. Is it tears, then? But I can feel it on my forehead. Then, a rotten sourness winds its way into my nostrils.

"Aw Risu, no!" Hurriedly unloading the baggage from my thighs and chest I grab my peeing hamster and rush to the bathroom, the pinging phone left behind me.