Internet-Degenerate

Fun fact: swimming naked in an inflatable pool filled with Box Jellyfish has been proven to lead to better mortality rates.

After that little kerfuffle last night, I spent an entire day just wandering around town. I've officially gone AWOL from all of my jobs, just in case. Didn't want to cause trouble for them just in case I actually did murder those two guys. I'm just going to consider myself fired from all four of my jobs. I am now a missing person. Oddly enough, I'm starting to miss that derelict apartment. At least it had a ceiling and a floor. Now I just have a floor. I didn't want to sleep on the street, so I had napped for about ten minutes on a park bench earlier when I got sleepy, but I woke up exhausted. I'm gonna end up dying on the streets at this rate. Oh! I could just ask my friends if I could stay at their - never mind, I don't have friends. Do I dare cash in on some favours? Oh, I still have school too. How am I supposed to get any learning done in a situation like this? The more I thought about it, the more I realised how I was neck-deep in problems. I'm too hungry, cold and exhausted to think about any solutions, but not enough to mull over and regret my life. 

I didn't know what to do, so I just walked. I hung my head down and walked. I hunched my shoulders forward and walked. I clearly looked suspicious because people passed by me, shooting concealed glances, but I still continued walking along with a slight limp in my step. I must be reeking of homelessness. All those people probably had homes to return to. They probably had warm homes with happy families waiting. They probably had warm baths they could fill up to cry in once they got home. I didn't have anything - Woe is me. Until yesterday, I had always had someplace to return to, someplace to call home. The sudden realisation of my loneliness caused my vision to blur. 

Damn it all...

I rub my eyes hard. It's times like these that I have to be strong and think positive. Crying is for the weak! Besides, I wasn't alone! I had... Uh... Umm... I had no one. I'm all alone. Crying is for the weak. I am weak. Therefore, I shall cry. The hustle and bustle of nightlife that surrounded me fell on my deaf ear as I strolled forward, holding back tears. 

If I ever see that bastard again, I'm going to wring his neck so hard his head explodes.

My stomach had graciously reminded me that I had forgotten to eat anything since the day before when I managed to snag a roll of bread from my work's break room. I didn't usually buy food. Food is expensive. Living, in general, is expensive. When I couldn't take food from work, I'd go dumpster diving for food scraps behind restaurants and the like. Today is no different, and I doubt any day afterwards will be different. I shall invoke my inner trash panda. I don't need to live among humans. I will live in a hollow tree or a burrow in the woods. I will have antlers to show my superiority and speak only in clicks and whistles to communicate with my fellow raccoons while I watch humanity die inside their cities as I scavenge their streets, seeking out a wasp nest to consume. I will be happy. I will be free. I will live the way Mother Nature intended.

A gust of wind delivered a newspaper page at my feet, and I remember the lottery ticket in my pocket. Before you question why I bought a lottery ticket with my luck and impoverished situation, let me explain. The alcoholic gambler made me buy it. He was so determined to have his get rich quick scheme so he could pay off some loans that he ended up forcing my hand. Naturally, I refused since I didn't want to waste money, but he started taking my money and buying tickets by the dozens. We came to an agreement that I would buy one lottery ticket a week after that. If I remember correctly, the announcements should be today, and the newspaper should have those results. I picked it up and walked over to one of the street lamps. Just then, an unpleasant sight caught my eye.

"Let me go!" a high pitched voice cried. A high school girl was being surrounded by four short-haired and stern women wearing impeccably clean and tight-fitting blue suits. I wasn't here to see what had led up to this event, but they were clearly in an argument of some kind. The people passing seemed too afraid to get involved and just sped up as they passed by. I, however, am not those people. I am different from all of them. I don't quicken my pace. I don't look away.

I just stroll on by while watching the scene. 

"Just let me go! Please!" the girl begged. The woman who had a hold of her wrist said something I couldn't hear, but her face showed the slightest bit of embarrassment. The other three just looked like they were tired and wanted nothing more than to go home. I share their sentiment. The girl looked around desperately, trying to find someone who would save her. Her teary sky blue eyes met with mine. Her pitiful stare dug deep into my soul and stabbed at my heart. She looked like a lamb with its throat slit, her eyes open wide with shock and confusion as they begged me, her executioner, for help. 

Damn it! I shouldn't have stayed! How am I supposed to leave her now? I let out a deep sigh, straightened my back and entered the fray, having absolutely no idea as to what I should do. 

"E-E-Excuse me!" I stuttered. My voice cracked. I was unnecessarily loud. Fifteen years of social ineptitude made itself known. I was nothing but cringe-worthy, but judging by the girl's beaming smile that appeared when I interrupted, I'd say she was a little relieved someone stepped in. The four scary women snapped their heads my way and glared at me. I quickly raised my open hands up to show them that I was unarmed and unarmoured. I was thankful I didn't have anything to eat because I probably would've shit myself then and there. "I-I know I look s-s-suspicious, but t-that's just because I'm ugly."

As the women narrowed their eyes and raised an eyebrow in response to my statement, the girl twisted her body and broke away from them to run towards me. I am not used to this.

"Please," the girl cried with a sense of urgency. "Help me!"

I am really not used to this. This girl could be a serial-killer child-rapist for all I know, and I'm helping her escape the execution she justly deserves. She hid behind my back as one of her pursuers advanced on me, acting as a group representative. I can guarantee the first thing she is going to ask me is who I am. I don't want to answer that, so I ask her a question of my own first.

"So, uh... What's going on?"

"This has nothing to do with you." The lady said the words expressionlessly, but her voice was demanding. "Please hand over the girl." The glint in her eye and her small yet quietly imposing presence told me that these ladies could give most thugs I've run into a good thrashing. Who are these people? Who is this girl they're after? Why are these people after this girl? Why am I even here? Just to suffer? So many questions ran through my mind, but I didn't have the time to answer a single one. I glanced back at the girl behind me and saw her peeking out from behind my back to glare at the blue-suited figures. "...You will not stand down, then?"

I shake my head. I was too deep in this mess to just leave. I don't know if the girl behind me is innocent or not, but I'll burn that bridge when I get to it. Pushing the girl with my body, I gradually begin to draw back. The lady didn't miss this gesture. Without so much as a sound, she closed the distance and reached for me. Or rather, right past me, reaching instead for the girl's arm. 

"I'm sorry!" I apologise in advance. I grabbed her arm that stretched out past me, pulled her in close, and shoulder barged her. She fell back and landed on her bottom, processing what I had just done to her. As soon as she realised she was on the ground, her face contorted into one I recognised as anger. In a flash, she was back on her feet, and her fist was aimed directly at my face. I quickly dropped down, dodging it. The punch flew far over my head, but I could still feel it tear through the air above me. The woman was a little shocked by the fact that I managed to evade it, and not wasting this chance, I attempted to thrust my palm into her stomach from below, but she jumped back before I could shove her. The other three, who had previously been watching, began stalking towards us. The radiated anger out of every pore of their being. It seems that my presence here has done nothing but escalate the situation to a whole new level of hostility. I seriously just need to learn how to speak properly so we can talk out our differences. I wanted to apologise again, but it was clear that this situation has gone beyond apologies. The suit furthest to my right rushed forward. I tense myself, ready for a beating. She had just about reached me when she suddenly tripped and lost her balance. 

"MROWW!" a small voice mewled. There was a ferocious cat with a black and white coat where the lady had fallen, hissing at the woman side-on with its back arched and flicking its erect tail.

Holy shit, isn't that Tux? That's Tux! That's totally him! Fuck yes, Tux! Fuck yes, mate.

Thanks to Tux's valiant heroics, the villainous lady went tumbling, and her equally evil friends moved to help her. If Tux is fighting them, then they're evil. No questions, if's, and's or but's about it. Out of the shadows, Simon the Siamese cat and Ben the Bengal cat ran up from behind me to stand in between the four ladies and me. The two of them crouched and flattened their furry little bodies, hissing at our attackers. The ladies took a few steps back from the cats, more conflicted and confused than scared. They clearly didn't want to fight cats, but they had a mission they needed to accomplish, and the angry cats were in the way. While they were shooting each other questioning glances, I felt a tug on my right hand and turned back around. 

"Now!" The girl ordered me. Presumably to run. She dragged me by the hand, and we started running, zig-zagging down the streets until the footsteps of our pursuers and the noises of angry cats died down in the night behind us.