April 27th. It is Wednesday, my dudes. I was planning to sleep yesterday, but I didn't. There was an unarchived karaoke endurance stream that lasted until morning, and I wasn't going to miss it for the world. Can you blame a man for pulling two consecutive all-nighters to watch VTubers? No. You can not. Anyway, the Blue Lilies met up after school in Maria Hall to plan for the May Festival. 

"I believe the May Festival will be very important." As always, Sol took charge of the conversation. 

"What do you mean?" Sapphire inquired.

"Well, it's our chance to shine," Sol declared. "Seraph, I mentioned the 'Rising Tide' to you the other day. The Blue Lily society is crucial to raising that tide. We can't expect to influence opinion if we don't raise our own approval rating first. The Associations have to help out with school events. We need to do our best, not just at the May Festival, but at all of them. With that said..." She trailed off, then looked around at all the members present. "Does anyone have any ideas for the 'theme' I mentioned yesterday?"

We all exchanged an instinctive glance. Chloe looked slightly uncomfortable. Painmangeur was looking very dapper. 

"Well, I'm sure it's a bit much to ask right away," Sol uncomfortably broke the silence. "Especially since Seraph has never participated before... But that's why I thought you might be able to propose ideas freely." Sol watched me hopefully. It doesn't change the fact that I have no ideas. 

"...When exactly is the May Festival?" I ask in a pitiful attempt to stall for time.

"May 4th," Sol answered. 

"The May Festival is my favorite event," Sapphire says, dreamily. She giggled to herself, thinking about it. "Dancing all night long... It feels almost taboo."

"That's true," Sol agreed. "Even without a lights out time, we don't usually stay up all night."

"If I may ask, Seraph," Sapphire turns to me. "Have you ever danced before?"

"No, never. Can you guys all dance?" I turn the question around so I'm not interrogated. 

"We practice in gym class," Sapphire tells me. "We're doing it now, as a matter of fact."

"But it's not something you can learn overnight," Chloe sheepishly complained. "Last year, I spent the whole time stepping on Sapphire's feet."

"It's nothing to worry about," Sapphire assured her. "For either of you."

"Speaking of which..." I address the elephant in the room. "Am I supposed to participate?"

"What?" Sapphire uttered in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Sol asks, oblivious to my reluctance to dance with others.

"Well, I take gym classes separately, after all." I pull a lame excuse out of my ass. "I don't know how to dance."

"Dancing is for men and women to do together, so I'm sure no one will object. If anyone objects..." OOH! ME! I OBJECT! "I will have a word with them." FUUUUUUUUCK!

"This... will be my first time dancing with a boy," Sapphire needlessly says. As she spoke, her deep blue eyes came to focus on my (most likely) bloodshot eyes. "I hope that you will take my first, Seraph."

"Phrasing, Sapphire!" I make sure to warn her.

"Yeah, I don't know about that phrasing..." Chloe forced a chuckle out of embarrassment. 

"M-Me too." Sol chimed in. "Seraph, you may dance with me if you like."

"I-I think it would be best to match the clumsy people together," Chloe says, feeling left out. I'm inclined to agree with her.

"True, I wouldn't have to feel bad about stomping all over your feet," I jest.

"J-Just try not to hurt me," Chloe says, abashed. "It's practically my first time, after all..."

"Phrasing, Chloe!" 

"This is quite a problem..." Sapphire let out a deep sigh. "There is only one Seraph. We cannot all be your partner."

"I thought the dance lasted all night."

"But the matter of who you dance with first is of great importance..." With Sapphire's words as the trigger, the three girls looked over at me, and I found myself too sleepy to deal with this shit.

"Is that how it works?" I meekly ask, hoping that they'd make an exception.

"I won't be satisfied unless I'm first," Sol declared.

"You know how I hate to lose, right, Seraph?" Chloe's competitive spirit has been set ablaze. 

Sol and Chloe glare at me. I cover my mouth and yawn. Sapphire's eyes move back and forth between three of us. Painmangeur is being very cute. 

"That's it!" A light bulb appears above Sapphire's head. "I just had a very fine idea for the Blue Lily society's theme."

"What is it?" Just as Sol eagerly leaned forward, there was a knock at the door. We all turn towards it, and the guest lets themselves in.

"Salutations." Oh boy, it's Luna! She must be here to talk more shit. 

"Ah, Salutations," Sol greets her as a representative of our group. The Red Rose society piled in with Luna at the head. "How can we help you?" Sol innocently asks, as if this clearly isn't a raid to kill us all.

"Rosalia informed me that you were beginning your talks about the May Festival today," Luna says. "I magnanimously decided to check on you."

"How exactly is that magnanimous?" Sol asks, a little salty. Luna seemed to have recovered from her guilt of the day before. She seemed like she was back to her usual self. 

Luna let out a smug chuckle. "Are you sure you can afford to be rude to me?"

"What are you talking about?" Sol asked, annoyed.

"It's not unusual for the two theme submissions to conflict with each other. When that happens, it's usually settled with a coin toss. Right?"

"And?" Sol seemed very salty today.

"This year, that will be unnecessary. We will concede to the Blue Lily Society." Luna turned to Rosalia, who was standing by her side. "Right, Rosalia?"

"...Yes... Luna is correct..." Rosalia was momentarily flustered. It was obvious that they had not discussed this before hand. Rosalia seemed to be the leader of the Red Roses in name only. It looked to me like Rosalia was just Luna's cute little puppet.

"...What do you mean?" Sol was confused.

"You don't know, Sol?" Luna looked around the room, a triumphant smile on her lips. "The Blue Lily society's representatives have all quit, and they have only two affiliates." Did this BITCH really just intentionally exclude Painmangeur like that? THE NERVE OF THIS SKANK!

"Two? We have three." YEAH, YOU TELL HER, SOL!

"Oh yes, there is Seraph..." Luna said. A snorty laughter filled the room as I tried not to laugh. I fail, and start giggling. She got me good. While I'm giggling in the corner like an idiot, Luna ignores me and keeps talking. "By comparison, the Red Rose society has ten members. That's why I wanted to give you a handicap."

Luna's benevolent offer offended Sol for some reason. "I don't need your half hearted charity. I want a fair fight, or else there's no point."

"Are you sure about that? There's a clear difference in out abilities."

"We have quality over quantity. Right?" Sol turned towards us, seeking confirmation. 

"Yeah!" I wholeheartedly agree. "We got Painmangeur on our side!"

"Kuu!" Painmangeur left Sapphire's side and ran along the table towards me for pets. I give them to him, since it is my purpose in life.

"And we have both quality and quantity," Luna fruitlessly tries to contest with Painmangeur. "And with our leader, Belle Épine,¹'Beautiful Thorn.' Rosalia's title. Mistranslated to 'Beautiful Briar Rose.'we have found more people to help us. I was just about to introduce them."

"What? Right now?" Sol was taken aback by her sudden announcement. 

"Well, they aren't representatives. Learning from your example, I've decided to take on 'affiliates.' Now, Matilda, introduce yourself." As Luna spoke, a petite girl with a small ponytail stepped out from the back of the crowd.

"Matilda..." Sol was shocked by the little girl's appearance. "But you're still in intermediary course." 

"Y-Yes..." The little girl quivered. "But they said I could join as an affiliate, so..."

"No, I didn't mean to criticize you..." Sol tried to calm her nerves. Being in Intermediary meant she was the youngest person in this room. Maybe that's why she was so nervous? Although I can't deny that my ugly aura may also be having an effect.

"Ah, well, I'm a new affiliate of the Red Rose society. My name is Matilda Kelsey. It's nice to meet you..." As she walked forward and introduced herself, Matilda kept her eyes focused downward and never looked at us once. 

"That's right. I forgot Rosalia was your Amie, Matilda." Sol said in a moment of realization. If I'm not mistaken, 'amie' is the feminine form of the French word 'friend.' 

"Why did you use the term 'amie' instead of 'friend?'" I ask Sol, wondering why she phrased it in such a way.

"It just means they're especially close," she tells me. I guess it means they are best friends.

"O-Of course, that is part of it," Matilda confirmed her reason for joining the Red Rose society. "But... that's not the only reason."

"Oh? Then what else?" Sol curiously inquired.

"It's..." Without looking up at me, she aggressively pointed to me and raised her voice. "Because of that Serpent Séduisant right there!" The Red Roses all snapped to attention. This must have been the first time they were hearing this reason. Rosalia, who presumably already had her suspicions, placed a hand on her forehead and shook her head. 

With my elbow on the table, I place a hand on my forehead and let out a long, exhausted sigh. "What'd I do?" I tiredly ask. I'm not even sure I did anything, but at this point I've just learned to assume the position.

"We've heard the rumors even in Intermediary. You entered a classroom while the girls were changing..." Why am I the one getting all the blame for that incident? Have they just conveniently forgotten Adelaide's testimony? The Final and Intermediary courses each had their own dorms, so maybe the truth behind it just hadn't spread that far yet. "I know what you're going to say! That it was all a prank, right?" 

"Yeah..." I drowsily confirm. Matilda kept her eyes down and shivered like a chihuahua the whole time she addressed me.

"I-I don't believe it!" She declared with quivering lips. 

"Okay-" I try to dismiss her, but she keeps barking.

"It's possible that you set the whole thing up yourself!"

"So you're saying I used someone else's phone to send an email to myself?"

"Y-Yes."

"That..." I raise my finger and open my mouth to rebut her theory, but I can't. "Is unfalsifiable, well done." Instead, I praise her way of thinking. I give her a little applause, to show her how impressed I am.

"I KNEW IT!" Matilda seemed to have thought since her theory can't be proven false, than it is true. I guess I'm guilty until proven innocent, then. "Th-That is why I chose to join the Red Rose society."

"I still don't see how this relates to me."

"It is to protect my Amie!" 

"Still don't see how-"

"My Amie is a beautiful woman, wouldn't you agree?"

"Uh huh-"

"That means a Serpent Séduisant like you will try to get your claws into her!"

"Serpent claws are vestigial-"

"But I'm going to tell you this right now! You will not come within three meters of my Amie!"

"I'm within three meters of her right now, though-"

"If you ever break that rule, I will cleave you in twain!"

Despite her literal death threat, I can't find this girl intimidating in the slightest. She's too small and too much of a nervous wreck for me to see her as anything else other than as a mild annoyance. To be honest, I only find her annoying because sleep deprivation has impaired my cognitive judgement. Under normal circumstances, I would be pitying her. She's just an aggressive chihuahua: annoying, might nip you, but ultimately harmless. Rosalia seemed to think she was annoying, as well.

"Matilda." With the mere utterance of the name, Rosalia managed to stop Matilda's incessant barking. "Stop. That's enough." 

"But, Amie..." Matilda whined.

"No." Rosalia laid down the law and tightened the leash. "The rule is 'innocent until proven guilty.' You cannot punish someone on suspicion alone. It is guilt that requires evidence, not innocence, right?"

Despite being face to face with common sense, Matilda wasn't convinced. She was too much of a misandrist. "...E-Even so, he's a man! Men are filthy beasts! So he's dangerous, no matter what else you say." Rosalia took a deep breath in, and a deeper breath out. Her facial expression didn't change in the slightest, but she was clearly annoyed by her dog's yapping. Oblivious to this, Matilda addressed me. "D-Do you hear me? If you ever come near my Amie, I'll cut you in half with my naginata!"

"Your WHAT?" Unable to contain my excitement, I jump out of my seat and lean across the table towards her. My sudden outburst caused Matilda to flinch back. "Your naginata? Naginata, as in, the polearms the onna-bugeisha used to fight wars with in feudal Japan? That naginata?"

"Matilda is in the naginata club," Sapphire just casually told me, as if a naginata club was completely normal. "You're president this year, aren't you?" 

"Y-Yes." Matilda was meek with her words, but she was clearly prideful about it. And can you blame her? There's a fucking club for badass samurai women! And she's the leader! I'm still reeling from the fact that such a thing even exists. I had no idea how small my world was until now. I need to learn more. I must.

"Miss Matilda." I call out to her, and she flinches even more. She was red to the ears and trembling like a chihuahua, but she still waited patiently for me to speak. I take the chair I'm sitting on, walk over to her, and set it down in front of her. I sit backwards on the chair, getting down to match her height. "Miss Matilda, look me in the eyes."

"I-In the eyes?" she nervously stuttered.

"Yes. Look me straight in the eyes and tell me exactly what this naginata club is."

"Seraph, what are you-" Chloe tried to ask me what I was doing, but I hold my hand out towards her and shush her, signifying she needs to shut the fuck up and let Matilda speak because this is very important to me.

Matilda met my gaze for the first time. The next moment, her face turned as red as a boiled lobster. Her entire body started shivering. Then... "AHHH!" She shrieked, causing me to jump back out of my seat a few meters in fright. The rest of the room was also startled by her scream. "D-Don't look at me!" It was only when she howled that, that I remembered I was hideous beyond belief. My looks must have terrified her- "I'll get pregnant! If a man looks at you too much, it makes a baby inside you!"

. . .

Or... maybe not...

And with that injudicious declaration, Matilda ran out of the room at speeds previously thought to be impossible to reach by mere mortals.